Hi Friends,
So last week I started a series on different other forms of abuse that are not as talked about as domestic violence/physical abuse.
I wrote on emotional abuse last week, In case you missed it, pls check 2 posts back on my timeline.
Let’s talk about financial abuse.
I’m not talking today about whether a woman should work or not, it’s between you both. If your husband says you should sit at home and you’re fine with the arrangement, that’s good for you.
The issue of financial abuse comes into play when a partner deliberately strips the other of any form of financial power for the sole reason of being in control and manipulating the partner’s choices and decisions.
It’s a known pattern for many abusers. They ensure they are in total control of the family finance without giving access to the other partner. This is one of the major reasons many victims of domestic violence find it very hard to separate from the abuser.
Some do this by ensuring the partner has no source of income, and they also ensure that if the family needs some items they buy them themselves or give the exact amount, just to make sure there’s nothing left to save.
Some do not even mind their partner having a source of income but they have manipulated their partner to the point that they forcefully surrender every penny earned to the abusive partner who then dictates how it should be spent to the last kobo.
A few months back I learned of a woman here in Canada who has a financially abusive partner. She always had to transfer all her earnings each time her paycheck arrived. It was so bad to the extent that she couldn’t buy herself better clothes or even underwear.
Her Nigerian colleague was worried about her appearance and countenance and then got close to her. After a while, she opened up and was advised to at least keep something for herself from each paycheck. This didn’t go well with her husband and all hell was let loose.
Financial abuse is a thing and it must be discouraged. Husbands and wives should sit down and deliberate on how they want to run their family finances, but it must be a mutual agreement subject to review at any point. No party must feel cheated and lastly, every adult should have access to funds in the family.
It’s really absurd and embarrassing to wait on your spouse for little expenses. It’s not a proof of togetherness, it’s screaming manipulation.
May the Lord help us.
Written by Olabisi David
Presented by Damilare Mike David
written for REGEN
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