Forgiveness is one of the important keys that is emphasized for a smooth and successful relationship and marriage.
But, just like a narration I once read. Offenses are like nails. Imagine that for each time you offend your spouse a nail is pushed into a wall, and for each time they forgive you, the nail is removed. At some point, the wall may have no nails in it, but the holes would remain.
Many of us damage our spouses intentionally with the plan to ask for forgiveness later.
A number of Christian relationships, in particular, are notorious for doing this.
You know your wife is a believer, and so you intentionally satisfy yourself against her will and come back to ask her to forgive you.
Because your husband is a man of God and has no choice but to forgive you if he also wants God to forgive him, you do as you please knowing fully well that he’s not pleased with that action, your game plan is to satisfy yourself and apologize to him later.
Let’s not even get started on families that intentionally do terrible things to a child or relative, and years after they come with the line “You are a Christian, you have to forgive”. Mbok, you too are a Christian, why intentionally do evil?
The summary of my words this morning is to warn us all to pay attention to the emotions of our spouses. You can’t expect to intentionally offend them all the time and still get the best out of them. It is emotional carelessness.
Pay attention to your spouse’s regular complaints. Respect also involves honoring each other’s preferences and dislikes. Don’t go around doing that one thing your spouse doesn’t like with the game plan to apologize later.
You may not worry about getting forgiveness from them. It’s a command, they’ll forgive you.
What you should be worried about is the outcome of the cycle. As you repeat the cycle, you create an emotional gap that widens. Then a time comes when you would have turned yourself into a mere housemate simply because you never take their emotions into consideration.
Don’t turn your spouse to who they weren’t originally, out of your selfishness and foolishness.
As much as it’s within your power, avoid offending your spouse INTENTIONALLY. Peace
