At the beginning of this year, I did write about relationship goals and mentioned that every marriage or relationship should always have goals for the year or for a specified period of time. This should also be clearly written and reviewed from time to time.
Well, as the year goes to an end, Now is a good time to pull out the journal and do an appraisal of your relationship with your spouse/partner for the year.
– Make it an intentional meeting not just a random discussion you will pop up as you eat or do the dishes. Set a good time for this intimate talk.
– For better results, each party should prepare ahead of the meeting. Think deeply about the state of your marriage this year, evaluate your personal qualities, the successes and failures recorded based on set goals.
Some helpful questions;
– What did I do that you totally enjoyed better this year?
– What did I do that you would love me to stop?
– How would you rate our conflict management skills? What can we do better?
– How would you rate our communication skills? What can we do better?
-Did I pay enough attention to you and to your needs? What areas would you love me to pay more attention?
– How helpful was I towards the achievement of your personal goals this year? What can I do better?
-How would you measure our spiritual growth as a couple/family this year? How can we improve on that?
-If you could make 3 wishes with the assurance of having them granted, what would you like me to do for you?
– How would you rate our other room matters? What would you love me to improve on (Married only)
-What’s that one thing you would like me to change about myself?
– How would you assess our family finances? What are our plans to improve it in the incoming year?
There are many more questions to ask each other. You can go with the flow of the discussion. Make sure to allow each person to express themselves freely without interruptions. This is also not a time to be defensive, listen and be open to corrections where necessary.
Above all, remember to take some time to bond with your partner over the holidays.
P.S: I understand some people do not have to wait until this time of the year to evaluate and I agree. However, I hope this is helpful for those who would want to begin a culture of marital goals evaluation from this season. Have a good one, friends!
Written by Olabisi David
written for REGEN
