IS IT HIM OH LORD? – Episode 1

Written By: Lizzy Oyebola Yakubu

“Sister, hello sister, can you hear me?”

“Yes I can. Good evening Bro. Saul”

“But Sister, why are you treating me like this? When are you going to give me an answer to my request? When?”

“I gave you the answer already Brother. My answer is `no’”

“Why sister, why? Am I not good enough? Sister, why are you…”

“Bro Saul, please don’t try to coerce me. I have prayed to God and He has not given me a go-ahead!”

“I know your type! You are proud and pompous because of your beauty, right? Sister, beauty is vain o! It is vain! See yourself in the mirror every day you wake up, do you look younger? You will be twenty eight! Twenty eight my sister!”

“Bro. Saul, to what do I owe this call? You want to remind me of my age or you…”

“Marry me! The Spirit of the Lord says marry me! Do so fast before you lose a very great…”

“Bro. Saul, thanks for your call. I…”

“I have handed you over to my God! He will personally deal with you! Why nah Sister Jane? Why? Don’t you have human feelings at all? I have waited this long for you…”

“Why did you wait when I had already told you an emphatic ‘NO’?”

“But why did you give me an emphatic ‘no’? Don’t you know it’s the Lord that sent me? If you do not say yes to me, you will remain single for life. You will never be able to get to where God wants you to get to. You will be…”

“Ah ah, Brother Saul, are you threatening or cursing me?”

“I am not. The Lord is in this case, so why should I threaten you? But why sister? I am tall, dark and handsome. I also have pink lips. What else do you want?”

“Bro, see…”

“Is it because I am not rich? Because I do not have a job of my own? Sister, the future is bright! You shouldn’t judge me as…”

“Bro. Saul, I am not judging you. You are one committed, wonderful brother. When you proposed to me, I took out time to pray sincerely but the Lord said no. I know who my husband is and…”

“Bro. Roland abi? I know it’s Bro. Roland! Do you know how many sisters want to marry Bro. Roland? So, you have also joined the queue, abi? You want to have many rivals right? Continue wasting your life! Just continue! Because a brother works with Chevron and uses a Rangerover, you are dying for him, right?”

“Bro. Saul, those things are good but they are immaterial! I do not love Bro. Roland for what he has but for who the Lord has told me he would be to me. I am…”

“So I am so correct that it is this Bro. Roland! Ah! I pity you”

“If that would be all sir.”

“Before you drop that call, listen attentively! I don’t know if it is my financial state or the goiter on my neck or my pot belly that is chasing you away from me. But you can’t totally run away from me! I am yours and you are mine! You will be an ingrate to choose any other person over me.”

“Ingrate? I do not understand”

“You were dying at the hospital two years ago and needed a kidney. Do you know who donated his kidney to you? Do you…”

“Impossible! You?”

“Yes, it was me! I told the hospital to keep it a secret from you so I can tell you on our wedding night but you are here saying that you will carry my kidney to another man’s house? Lailai!”

“I didn’t know that…”

“Now you know! Go and take your time to pray again! It is me, not Bro. Roland! If you are grateful, say yes to me! If you believe in my glory and destiny, say yes to me! If you do not want to be single, cold and lonely forever, say yes to me! If you are not judging me by the goiter on my neck and the pot belly I have, say yes to me! Pray again Sister Jane or I hand you over to the sovereign God!”

“Bro Saul, I…” Jane was going to say when Saul dropped the call.