Emmanuel really was a devil in disguise and after the night i gave him my virginity, he changed from Emmanuel who respected my body, to Mike who loves nothing but sex, and it was as if his eyes opened after our first act which i regretted, and from that moment his attitude towards me changed.
This act then became all he knew and he started demanding for it almost everyday which really shocked me, for i had thought after our first time that will be the end of it. I was wrong and it just seemed as if our first act turned him into a sex addict overnight and my foolish self later gave in. I had no option than to oblige him, just to keep my man and prevent him from having external affairs outside. I just want to keep making him happy.
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This really gave a big blow on my relationship with God, i never had time for school fellowship programs or Christian events on campus again all because Emmanuel was with me always, willing to satisfy his lustful desire and moreover i felt trap in the relationship that within myself i loosed my prayer life and close communication with God. I really felt a huge guilt in me, cos i willingly gave in to Emmanuel and now there is no way out.
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However he never did stop caring nor spoiling me with gifts, but then every good deed or affection he showered on me, often ended up with him demanding for this rubbish act in return and i continued playing along. He virtually owned my body that period and i really couldn’t bring myself to disobey him even though sometimes i did try to stop him from having his way with me. This would leave him gloomy for the rest of the day and I will finally give in to his demand just to make him happy.
I wasn’t really happy with the way things were going between us, because i knew God wasn’t happy with me, but i was just madly in love with this guy, i will say. So there was nothing my weak self could do
“What if something happens and he dumps me” i often did ask myself that period, but just the thought of it would send shivers down my spine, and i would end up saying
“GOD FORBID”
He was equally my neighbour that period, which really made the closeness irresistible and there really wasn’t a way i could avoid him.
Mariam, my best friend, was also not helpful when i finally confided in her, but i really didn’t blame her, because she equally wasn’t experienced even though she behaved like a big girl…….
“Is he cheating on you?” she had asked me.
“No” i replied.
“Is he stingy?”
“No”
“Does he hide anything from you?”
“No”
“So what’s hard in rewarding him with your body, it’s not as if you are losing anything, moreover you aren’t a virgin anymore, and even if you stop having it with him from now till you die, you still won’t be a virgin again, free yourself and enjoy it jor” she had advised, while i stared at her and said nothing,
I kept on thinking and pondering on that statement she uttered. She has won my weak-self with that, and i agreed with her costhe mistake has been done already (peer influence)https://googleads.g.doubleclick.net/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-6181959399492699&output=html&h=300&slotname=2430043962&adk=3061649772&adf=4265452431&w=360&ebfa=1&lmt=1590696738&rafmt=1&psa=1&guci=2.2.0.0.2.2.0.0&format=360×300&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gospelbreed.com%2F2016%2F01%2Fstory-common-mistakes-ladies-make-in-a-relationship-episode-5%2F&flash=0&fwr=1&rpe=1&resp_fmts=3&sfro=1&wgl=1&dt=1590696738789&bpp=19&bdt=2144&idt=20&shv=r20200526&cbv=r20190131&ptt=9&saldr=aa&abxe=1&cookie=ID%3D2b2b98b598166595%3AT%3D1583215786%3AS%3DALNI_Mag_IEtP4dmC3grAo7Z7fol2brhSA&crv=1&prev_fmts=0x0&nras=1&correlator=8263289419796&frm=20&pv=1&ga_vid=1986428501.1583215776&ga_sid=1590696739&ga_hid=2051577574&ga_fc=0&iag=0&icsg=584925051818&dssz=31&mdo=0&mso=0&u_tz=60&u_his=1&u_java=0&u_h=750&u_w=360&u_ah=750&u_aw=360&u_cd=24&u_nplug=0&u_nmime=0&adx=0&ady=3247&biw=360&bih=610&scr_x=0&scr_y=0&eid=21066085%2C21066142&oid=3&pvsid=3802976164477035&pem=162&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gospelbreed.com%2F2016%2F01%2Fstory-common-mistakes-ladies-make-in-a-relationship-episode-4%2F&rx=0&eae=0&fc=1924&brdim=0%2C0%2C0%2C0%2C360%2C0%2C360%2C610%2C360%2C610&vis=1&rsz=%7C%7CeEbr%7C&abl=CS&pfx=0&fu=8336&bc=23&ifi=2&uci=a!2&btvi=1&fsb=1&xpc=MRkFhmVMyy&p=http%3A//www.gospelbreed.com&dtd=72
But then the more i gave Emmanuel my body, the bolder he became in demanding for more and it just looked as if he was trying to have it all before graduating, which really astonished me. I knew i would still be there for him no matter where he went, but i guess he didn’t trust me and i never knew he had other plans in his mind as he turned me into a love making machine.
It soon got to a stage where i couldn’t take the rubbish act anymore, and surprisingly it led to our first fight.
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As these memories flashed back in my mind, my body shook as i cried deeply.
The memory really was so painful cos it was the first time a guy laid his hands on me.
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It all happened one fateful evening when we were together in his room, he carried me on his laps and started his foolish act on my foolish self
“Baby you smell nice” he said to me while i blushed, and truthfully Emmanuel really is a master of sweet words which he always used on me. (That was my greatest weak point)
“What is it baby? Sit up nah” he said as he drew my hand in order for me to sit up but i refused, which left him extremely surprised.
“what is the matter?” he asked
“I can’t do it” i replied, and he smiled.
He was surprised, he asked why?
“I won’t cos i don’t like it” i said arrogantly, while he stared at me as i got up from his bed and dressed up. His eyes burned furiously as he watched me.
“Baby why are you so selfish?” he finally asked,(what a foolish statement i wondered)
“You are the one very selfish all you now know is this rubbish act, just see how skinny you have become” i replied with a hurtful tone, which really was a big mistake and it earned me two powerful slaps on my face while i held my jaw and stared at him in shock and disbelief…OMG!
I stared at him angrily and in shock for a while, before rushing back to my room in tears.
“Baby i’m sorry” I heard him apologise as he followed me but i shut my door and locked it before he could enter. I really was so hurt that day cos i never believed Emmanuel would ever lay his hand on me.
Tears flowed freely from my eyes as i remembered how i felt that day. “Why am i even remembering all these?” i asked myself as i cleaned my eyes, but then it was my feelings for Samuel which was bringing my past experience back to my head, and i had no control over it.
I soon heard a steady knock on my door
Who was it?
Checkout in the next episode
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Lesson 2: All a lady earns from cheapen and giving yourself away to a guy is disrespect. Believe me, when you fail giving him this thing, he will dump you instantly!
-To be continued-
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