MADAM BOLA: (ββββ) omo Ibo! Omo Ibo!!! Open door o! Day don break! Which young person dey stay for bed until this time when him mates don all dey ready for work.
for night you no go sleep, na so you go dey for phone dey talk to man!
ADAKU: good morning, ma.
MADAM BOLA: ehn! I wan come tell you say rent dey go up this month by twenty thousand naira o!
ADAKU: why? There has been no renovations or anything done to the house to warrant such increase?
MADAM BOLA: na your mama you dey ask why? Na lack of respect go kill you! No home training at all!!!
See as she keep mouth dey ask me why! Anyway, if you no like am, pack your things and go back to Igbo land.
Lagos no be lazy man land. No be like your place wen una no dey pay rent. I don talk finish. No talk say I no tell you o!
(Adaku went back inside and shut her door. After a while, one of the tenants called Bose knocked on her doorβ¦)
ADAKU (opens the door) morning, Bose
BOSE: na vex say I dey disturb, abeg help me charge my phone for your room. I no get fuel to put my generator on. Abeg
ADAKU: sure! Come in and plug it in. Ehn! Bose, did you hear of the rent increase?
BOSE: which increase?
ADAKU: landlady told me this morning that rent has increased by twenty thousand naira.
BOSE: ah! She no tell me anything like that o! She only say a new tenant will be moving in from next week. Thatβs all.
ADAKU: okay.
(Bose left and Adaku went to madam Bolaβs house)
ADAKU (βββ) anyone home?
MADAM BOLA: wetin you want?
ADAKU: sorry to disturb, but why was my rent increased but everyone elseβs stayed the same?
MADAM BOLA: oh! You come my house come ask me why again??? You no dey shame? All the money wen you dey get for olosho job, wetin you dey take am dey do! Leave my house before I call my dog!
ADAKU: Iβll leave but just so you know, I am not paying a kobo more than what I have always paid. Bye! (Walks out?ββοΈ)
MADAM BOLA: na for that house them go find your decomposing body if you no pay rent. Shebi na me and you for this yard. You go see!
************************************************
FUNMI: good morning, sir.
MR OSAI: morning, Funmi. You donβt look too happy; whatβs the matter?
FUNMI:(breaks down in tears????)
MR OSAI: oh dear! Whatβs the matter? Come on! Stop crying and talk to me. What happened? How is Ebuka?
FUNMI: Iβm in trouble??
MR OSAI: what trouble? If you calm down and tell me, I might be able to help. I mean you are my staff i could use the companyβs money to solve the problem and then gradually take it back from your wages.
Did you make any mistakes?
Is money missing?
Did you overpay a client?
FUNMI: nooo????? my husband found out I was sleeping with you.
MR OSAI: but that happened when we were both unmarried!
Do you know all the women he slept with before meeting you? Come on! This shouldnβt be an issue!
FUNMI: thatβs the problem! He didnβt even let me explain. I donβt know what he was told and who told him.
Since then, home has been hell! He goes out and comes back drunk and totally off his face. Calls me all manner of names. I never thought my past could find its way to my present and mess it up this way!
MR OSAI: but you and I had a secret relationship because we were in the same company.
No one knew about it except of course your friendβ¦. And I take the blame because you kicked against that but I insisted on having sex with you in my office. So how could he have known!
Does your friend have his phone number?
FUNMI: no..well, yes. I recently gave it to her because I wanted her to give him the shoes he bought me from Italy, when I was in Lagos. I donβt think she saved it.
And I donβt want to believe she would do such a thing to me
MR OSAI: Iβm not saying she said it, but you women can be really nasty when you feel your friend is happier than you. You women are always competing with each other, which I think is pathetic!
Listen, go to your husband when he is sober and explain things to him.
Come on! Not like we were having casual sex! We were in a relationship and we were going to get married until our genotypes shattered those plans.
Iβm sure your husband had sex with at least one of his exes! Why punish you for it!
FUNMI: I am in bits. This is a home where I am already the black sheep! If his family gets to know, theyβd kick me out and my mother warned me not to ever come back home if my marriage crashes, because she was never in support of me marrying an Ibo man??
MR OSAI: would you like me to talk man to man with him?
FUNMI: I donβt know what I want. I canβt even function
MR OSAI: alright! Listen, this is not a big deal at all, but I understand your fears. Iβll give you one week off, fully paid. Try to sort things out with him as amicably as possible, if all fails, Iβll send you to America to start a new life. What nonsense!!!??
I hate to see you like this. And I feel very guilty because I am enjoying my own marriage. Please go home and if you need anything, regardless of what time of the day or night it is, I am only a phone call away.
Here is fifty thousand naira, have that on you just in case.?
FUNMI: thank you very much. Iβll be on my way now.
MR OSAI: take care of you, funmi?β?
(Funmi got home and met Amarachi and Nkechi but Ebuka was not home)
FUNMI: good morning, Kechi. Where is your brother?
NKECHI: you are asking me??? You are asking me ehn! You see how you are ruining my brotherβs life!
Whatever you did to him that he has refused to tell anyone, only God knows!
Ebuka that hardly drinks now comes home drunk every single night! My brother is gradually dying in my own presence because of a Yoruba fool he got himself entangled with!
Pray nothing happens to him. Otherwise we will show you what we are made of! I recorded him last night drunk and talking gibberish. Iβll send that video to brother Chinwendu just so he knows exactly how you are killing my brother
AMARACHI: NKechi ozuola!( NKechi, itβs enough!)
FUNMI: ???
NKECHI: enough what! Do you know how I feel seeing my brother like that! Please donβt tell me itβs enough!
I will kill this Yoruba thing with my bare hands if anything happens to Ebuka.
You better go and ask of Okoye family! Anyi adighi ekiri mmanwu ana akwa aka! (An Igbo proverb suggesting that they are not cowards)
AMARACHI: where are you getting dressed to go?
NKECHI: Iβm going to welcome my boyfriend from the airport. I told you yesterday. See, you donβt have to assist this Yoruba woman with any house chores. Her people like using people, so donβt let a Yoruba person tell you what to do. Otherwise she will put you for pant. Iβm off!β¦Donβt forget to eat?ββοΈ?ββοΈ?ββοΈ?ββοΈ?ββοΈ
(Nkechi left the house, Funmi went into the kitchen to prepare launch. She cried audibly as she washed the pot in preparation for cooking. Amara walked into the kitchen, took the vegetables and started chopping them for her)
AMARACHI: I know it hurts, but should you need someone to talk to, I am hereβ¦
FUNMI: why should I trust you, a stranger!
AMARACHI: perhaps because I am a woman and I feel your pains..
FUNMI: you donβt! Nobody does!
AMARACHI: you cheated on him, right?
FUNMI:(shocked) what? How did you know! I did not cheat!!! I didnβt (breaks down in tears??)
AMARACHI: itβs not the end of the world. You can deal with this. You have the ability in you. You just need the temerityβ¦
I can help youβ¦.
FUNMI: how???
To be continued
What a beautiful read πππ