𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 1
In life, there are things that happen to us that leave indelible marks that would never go away, both on our bodies and in our minds. Though those occurrences might seem insignificant to others, but to the recipient, they remain forever.
I am Abigail Katherine Akanni and the story you are about to read is my story. My marks. My memories. It is a narration of pains and struggles, wins and losses and most importantly, a lesson about the nature of man and the unquestionable doings of God.
My baby sister got married in June 2013 and I wasn’t happy about it. Marriage is a thing of joy and should be celebrated, but this particular marriage didn’t sit well with me mainly because it reminded me of my inadequacies and the fact that I might remain single for life. It rang a bell and reaffirmed a truth that I had been denying, Time had passed me by.
As I earlier stated, The youngest of my sisters, the one that my mother conceived when I was already in 300 level in the University was getting married. I knew I should be happy for her, but I couldn’t just bring myself to that point.
Mama had woken me up by 4:30am on a particular day to break the news, making me to start my day on a grumpy note. It was way too early for calls that weren’t emergencies. When I picked my phone and looked at the screen, my hands began to shake and my heartbeat increased. Mama would only call this early if something was wrong. Could it be that something bad had happened to my aged and frail father? I was scared to hear what mama had to say.
Few seconds later, after hearing why she called me, I hissed loudly and answered her in a rude tone. Thereafter, I ended the call after promising that I would call her by night.
I had my plan for the day laid out before now. I wanted to wake up late, do some cleanings around the house then effect major corrections on my PHD. Thesis. My plans changed because after Mama’s call, I could neither return back to sleep nor perform any tangible task. I spent the day mopping around the house.
I refused to return Mama’s call as promised, but trust my mother, she made sure the day didn’t end without calling me.
” You promised to call me back.” Mama charged at me.
” I’m sorry. I have been busy since morning.”
” Hen. Hen. So, as I said, we have chosen July for Meriani’s wedding. Her husband’s people were here last week and we came to that agreement. That girl, I have always known she would get the best for herself. Her young man is polite, hardworking and…”
” Mama it is late.” I grumbled. ” I want to sleep.”
My mum hesitated for a while. I could hear her heavy breathing through the phone.
” Abige!” She called me in a loud voice. ” You sound as if you are not happy.”
” Why…why would you say that?” I stuttered.
” You are in the best position to answer that question. You have refused to visit home since the time Reke got married. You have also refused to see our faces for the past 5 years. You must come home for this wedding.”
” Mama I will not be at the wedding. I will send…”
” O to be!” She bellowed.
I shut my eyes and visualized her spitting fire into the phone. My Dad, stooped with age, must surely be there beside her. They are inseparable. Whenever Mama’s temper is flaring up like I picture it doing now, he would caution her with a slight raise of the hand. Baba is the gentle one. Mama is hail, fire and brimstone joined together. They are direct opposites of each other.
I have always wondered where and how they met, until I caught mama and her friend gisting about how her family had forced her to marry Baba. She tried same with me when she spoke about giving me to Alhaji Lamidi as a 4th wife. That was five years ago during Racheal’s wedding. That year, I vowed never to step into my village again until I have a man to call my own.
” A-bi-ge! Are you there?” My mother called in a no-nonsense voice. I almost laughed inspite of myself. The way she call me and my siblings has never stopped amusing me.
My parents had no formal education, but they had a special fascination for English and bible names. They loved English names so much that each of their children( 6 girls in all) have 3 English names each, and my mother won’t stop murdering the names no matter how you correct her. She would pronounce Abigail as A-bi-ge, Rachel is Re-ke, Felicia is shortened to Fi-li, Comfort is Kon-fo, while Mary-Ann is Me-ri-a-ni. Everyone knew my mum as Iya Abige in the village.
” Mama! I can’t come for Mary-Ann’s wedding. I still remember what I faced when I attended Racheal’s wedding. I can’t go through that again. I will send my contribution for the expenses.”
” If I am your mother,” Mama shouted. ” If you fed on this my two breasts…” I guessed she had dropped her phone and was holding to her breasts. ” If you came out through my…”
” Mama please stop it!” I screamed. ” Why are you doing this to me?”
” You must be at that wedding.” She insisted.
” Okay mama listen.” I tried to persuade her to listen to me. ” I have a program to attend in Lagos. I have already done pre- registration.”
” What kind of program would make you miss your sister’s wedding?”
” It is a program for singles that are waiting on God for life partners. It’s a place to meet people, interact and mingle…”
” Gbenu soun,” my mother cut me short. ” Program! Program all the time. Show me the result of all the programs that you’ve been attending all these years. You behave as if you are the only one that know God. Tell me, what is the usefulness of carrying religion on your head without result? Even your sisters that are not as religious as you, are doing better. They are happily married and nursing children. The one that is about to get married is 20 years younger than you. If you had listened to me and married Alhaji Lamidi, by now, you will be nursing your second baby. And the man is taking good care of his wives. Last year, he took the three of them to Mecca.”
” Mama! I can’t believe you are saying this. You are a strong pillar in the church but you are asking me to go against the bible by marrying someone that is not a Christian and a married man for that matter. Have you concluded that I am a write off and can never get my own man? Is that what you are saying?”
” I’m not saying that you are a write off, but we have to face reality. Time is not on your side and the world has changed. As it is, the world has become more populated with women than men. To get a man of your own, you might have to bend the rules, especially for someone of an advanced age like you.”
” I have told you Mama, I can’t go against bible standard because I want to marry at all cost.”
” Then get a man to impregnate you.” My mother shouted. ” Aye n se ru e. If you continue to wait for Jesus to give you husband, you might have to wait forever.”
” Mama! I can’t go on with this conversation. Good night.”
” A-bi- geee!”
I ended the call and switched off my phone.
” God why?” I whispered as I bit into my pillow that was fast soaking my torrential tears. ” Why have you forgotten me?”
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
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𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 2
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No one can blame me for not wanting to go home if I recount what I experienced 5 years ago.
I had traveled down with a friend and colleague in tow. I was glad that I was going to see my parents and siblings. The boot of my car was filled with items that I purchased for Racheal’s wedding; food stuffs, drinks and souvenirs. I wasn’t too disturbed that another of my younger siblings was getting married.
As I drove into my family compound, I saw my mum from the rear view mirror, limping after the car. Tapping my friend, I threw my head back and laughed. ” Mama is happy that her first daughter has bought a car and brought it home.”
” Of course.” My friend replied. ” What parent would not? Except of course, maybe a witch.”
” Don’t start your winchy-winchy story. We don’t have witches in my village.”
My friend nodded. ” I hear you, but you have village people sha. No place can be sweet without them.”
We both chuckled as I maneuvered the car to a corner and parked. I dropped from the car with my friend trailing behind me and rushed for my mother expecting a warm embrace instead, I got a cold welcome.
” Mama what is it?” I asked. ” Is that how to welcome a daughter that you’ve not seen for a while?”
” Come!” She drew my hand forcefully. I could imagine my friend opening her mouth wide in surprise. She might eventually conclude that there are witches in my village. My mum was behaving like one.
” Remove that car from the front of the house. Look for somewhere else to park it.”
” Why?” I asked. ” The compound is large enough to take as many cars as possible, even if we would host the whole state for the wedding.”
” That’s not the point.” My mum said stubbornly. By now, Moyo, my friend had joined us.
” What’s the point Mama?” I was getting irritated. ” Oh!” I smiled. ” You are scared that village people would harm me for bringing a car home.” I turned to Moyo. ” Ore, you see what we were talking about?”
She nodded.
” Mama! You should know that your daughter is a believer. I dwell in the secret place of the most high and under his shadow. No harm can befall me.”
” It’s not that. I’m not scared that you could be harmed. I just don’t want people to know that the car belongs to you.”
” Why?”
” If they get to know that it is your car, they will conclude that you don’t have sense. O ni ronu. That you are supposed to come home with your husband and kids, and not a car.”
The weariness that descended on me on account of my mom’s words, could best be imagined. I breathed in deeply, Ignored her and matched into the house. She followed me closely.
” You should have told us before buying that car. What do you need it for? Owning a car will only make men to move farther away from you. Are you not concerned that you are still single at 40?”
I flared up and charged at Mama. ” So because I’m still single, I should carry my problem and wear it like a coat. So that the whole world will know that I am single and sad. Don’t I have the right to live and do whatever I want like every other person?”
” Exactly! There’s a kind of behavior that is expected of you to get a man at your age. You are expected to maintain a low key lifestyle. Men are always scared of accomplished women, especially when they are advanced in age.”
” Enough Mama! When you get a man that is meant for you, he wouldn’t bother about what you have or have not.” I raised my hand rudely. ” I have had enough of your sermon. I will look for a place to HIDE the car.”
” Better. That is the expected norm. Anyone that is lacking or waiting for something has to maintain low key. Take for instance, women that are looking for the fruit of the womb. They are not expected to wear nice cloths and live expensive lifestyles. It chases children away. They should always look sober to evoke pity from people and mercy from God.”
” I am not and will never be a pity party case. Can I have the key to my room? I want to settle in before the others will arrive. By the way, I haven’t done proper introduction. Moyo is my colleague and friend.”
” Moyo, you are welcome.” My mother embraced Moyo.
” Can I have the keys now?” I asked impatiently with my hand stretched forward.
Mama fidgeted and looked downward. It seemed she wasn’t willing to give me the key. She drew me out of my friend’s hearing.
” Your rooms have been reserved for your sisters that are coming with their spouses. You know they will need privacy. You and your friend can manage…”
” It’s okay mama.” I snapped and walked away from her. ” Moyo?” I screamed. ” Let’s go and look for an hotel to lodge.”
” Abige, it is not like that.” My mother said.
I was already regretting coming for the wedding after all.
” I’m not saying you shouldn’t stay in your father’s house. Infact, I need you around because there’s a lot to discuss. I only said we should give preference to your married sisters. You don’t have to go now. At least, wait for your father to return from church.”
———
My siblings all arrived by the next day. First was Felicia who lived in Anambra with her family. She had met her Igbo husband during her youth service year and they had gotten married barely a year later. They’d been married for ten years. I could still remember him as the ramrod straight young man that made everyone laugh during their engagement with his forced and incorrect pronuntiation of Yoruba words. Now, he has added so much weight that I could hardly recognize him. Put that together with a beer belly. It seemed Felicia and her husband had drifted apart emotionally. They could hardly stand each other and couldn’t hide it even in public. To make matters worse, I caught the husband groping a younger lady at the back of the compound during the engagement. I remained mute about what I saw before someone would say I’m trying to break her home.
Comfort is another of my siblings.She’s gentle and caring and would always remain the closest to me. The moment she arrived with her two kids, I knew that something was off. Mama was all over her kids and made an open statement that even though her husband wasn’t at the wedding, it was forgivable. The kids being there was more than enough.
Comfort confided in me that her husband had lost his job for close to two years and was doing nothing to get another one. She’d been the one fending for the home from the little she got from her teaching job and petty trading. They’d been living in penury and the burden had become too much for her. ” Big sis.” She called. The sadness in her voice was so tangible that I could almost touch it. ” I won’t lie to you, I regret marrying Kelvin.”
” Don’t say that. ” I cautioned her. ” At least, you have a man that you are bearing his name, and you have two adorable kids. You are better off than me.”
” For where? I will gladly switch place with you if you want.” Comfort smiled bitterly. ” Let me have the good job, car and everything and I will dash you Kelvin. The only thing is, you won’t take my kids.”
” Haaa, you are a cheat.” I said playfully. “How will you have the kids without the man. Anyway, everything will be okay. Trust God and keep pushing. God will change your husband’s heart. I will see if I can drum some sense into him.”
” Thank you, big sis.”
” I will also send something to your account before I leave.”
” Big sis, God bless you.” Comfort hugged me, dropping genuine tears.
When Hannah, the 4th child of my parents and another of my sisters arrived with her family, the whole atmosphere of my parents’ home changed. Like a whirlwind, she had the character of uprooting, scattering, displacing and just making everything go her way. She’s the most controversial one amongst the six of us. She’s also an exact image of Mama in character and physical features.
She attended the wedding with her husband, 1- year- old son, and her househelp. Breezing into the house, acting like she owned everyone, I totally dropped to the background and let her take over my role as the 1st child of my parents. She seemed to be everywhere at all times, giving orders and flaunting her husband’s wealth.
The night before the church wedding, just before returning to the hotel with Moyo, Mama had called me into her room for a heart- to- heart talk with me. If she hadn’t initiated that, we wouldn’t have had anytime together because I was bent on returning to Ibadan immediately after the church wedding tomorrow.
” Abige.” Mama called my name. ” You should be ashamed of yourself?”
I turned my head in surprise. ” Ashamed of myself for what? What have I done wrong?”
” So you don’t know that everything about you is wrong.”
” Hen?”
” Remind me of your age again.”
I grunted. ” This matter again? Mama! Why don’t you let me be? Do you think I’m not concerned about my continued singleness? But what do I do when no man is forthcoming? Would I force myself on men?”
Mama shrugged. ” I did not say you should force yourself on men but do something. At least, let go of your rigid principles.”
” I don’t get you mama. You want me to become loose so that I can get a man?”
She shifted forward. ” If you hadn’t broken up with Jide, by now, you…”
” Mama, that was years ago. He wanted what I couldn’t give him. He insisted on having canal knowledge of me if our relationship must continue.”
” You should have allowed him. What is there? He’s our church secretary now. He’s happily married and has 3 children.”
” That is in the past Mama. I will surely get my own man.”
” Alhaji Lamidi has been asking after you. He gave two bags of rice for the wedding. He still has interest in making you his 4th wife.”
” Not again mama.” I said in a loud voice and sprang up. ” I cannot and will never marry your Alhaji.”
————
I have since vowed never to go home again except I have a man to show my mum. Not even her threat will make me change my mind.
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
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𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 3
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I wasn’t bluffing when I told my mum that I would be attending a singles’ program in Lagos. I meant what I said. I had gotten to a point in my life that I tenaciously held to every glimmer of hope and did all legitimate things that could fetch me a husband. I attended prayers programs and seminars, sowed special seeds, connected with other matured singles and did all sort of things. The only thing that I refused to do was to join online dating sites. I saw that as going to the extreme and was averse to the idea. Though when I learnt that there were Christian sites, I contemplated on the possibility of exploring them.
I wanted my own man, To hold and to behold. I wanted to be wooed, held and loved. I wanted my mum and others like her to eat their words. Above all, I wanted children that would be born out of love and not desperation.
As the days went by, I I knew that my chance of having my own biological children was diminishing. My biological clock was winding down. At 45, I was nearer to menopause than I could imagine. I began asking myself of what would happen if I had an early menopause. At countless times, I had goggled for signs and symptoms of menopause; hot flushes, migraine, mood swings and the likes. It was glaring that I was already at my premenopausal stage. Every irregularities in my menses gave me palpitations.
When I saw the flyer for the singles’ program on Facebook, I jumped at it without batting an eyelid. Not even the exorbitant registration fee could dissuade me. I had money and could pay for the registration 10 times over. For the fact that the program was organized by a Christian ministry, I put my mind at rest that I would get value. Most importantly, I might meet a man that would be interested in me.
I had already booked an accomodation before intimating Moyo of my plan to attend the program. She wasn’t keen about it and expressed her reservations. She said. ” I have never heard of that ministry. Are you sure they are genuine? Some people just organize programs to get money from people. Think of it. Isn’t it too expensive that you have to pay 100k for a program that would last for only 2 days? Would Jesus come down in physical form to speak to you people?”
” I feel they only want people with class to attend, hence the high registration fee. Maybe they don’t want every dick and Harry at the program.” Smiling, I said. ” I have a good feeling about the program.”
” Okay o. If you say so. Just be safe.”
” I will.”
———
The program turned out to be a sham. There was no new thing I learnt apart from the recycled sermons we always hear on people that have delayed marriages. The special guest spoke about ancestral curses and the likes. The preaching was boring and I slept for a good part of it. The atmosphere was cold and I couldn’t just connect.
I almost left before the end of the second day but for the fact that there would be a dinner to close the program. Well, I paid for it and wouldn’t let my money go to waste.
The organizers encouraged the participants to mingle; a sort of matchmaking. The dinner was an avenue for that. They tried, but I couldn’t blend. While the others were having a nice time, I couldn’t. The meal was good but it tasted like saw dust in my mouth. Eventually, I left the venue before the dinner ended. If only I had listened to Moyo. The program fell far below what I anticipated.
The little hope about getting a man further dwindled in my heart. Instead of hope, I began to develop resentment against God and people. I asked myself if I had offended God in anyway to be subjected to my kind of ordeal. Maybe God is over-hyped after all. Does he have the power to do everything? If he is as loving as the bible claimed, why would he refuse to answer my prayers for a husband? To what end is my period of waiting? What would God gain if I end up not getting married? The bible says that God will not deny his children of good gifts. Why has he been denying me of my gift?
While growing up, I always hear my mum and her friends saying negative things about old spinsters. They would call them emere and label them as spiritual wives, to some spiritual husbands, somewhere and somehow. They would say affirmatively that anyone that is finding it difficult to marry is under an ancestral curse. My mum would hiss at someone and conclude that she might have lived recklessly when she was younger, hence the delay in marriage. I knew that was what people were currently saying about me, especially the people in my church. They would never remove the log in their own eyes.
But, it wasn’t their fault. They could say all sort of things because God had forgotten me. If not , why would he keep me on the waiting list for so long. It’s easy for people to tell you to continue to pray and keep waiting when you have issues. Talk comes easy when you are not the one with a challenge. It’s only the one that wears the shoe that knows where it hurts.
Weeks rolled into months. My frustration level increased on daily basis. It began to show in my character and response to situations. I was rapidly losing it.
——
On a particular day, I was at the office when one of my students came to see me. Festus was a scholar, my course class rep and one of my student counsellees. Therefore, we were close in a sort of way.
He had come to inform me of a clash in the timetable released by the department. I promised him that amendments would be made. Festus stood before me with his hands behind him. I had nothing more to tell him and should dismiss him, but I heard myself asking him to sit down.
At that moment, I needed to speak to someone, just anyone. My heart was heavy. Moyo would have been in the best position to hear me out, but she had traveled home to be with her sick mother. I couldn’t possibly unburden my heart to my student, no matter how close we were. Could I ? What would he think of me? No! I musn’t.
I asked Festus a few random questions about his project work and discharged him. As he stood to leave my office, I suddenly felt a strong urge to grab and hold unto him. I only had few seconds to process my thought. Where is the feeling coming from? My heart began to palpate wildly. There was a corresponding response from my underneath; a resonating pulsation from my womanhood .
“Jesus! ” I screamed from within. Why this feeling? Has it gotten to a point that I would be having sexual urge for my student? Something that my mother said dropped into my mind.
GET A MAN TO IMPREGNATE YOU.
Never! I screamed silently. Festus’ image flashed before me, and I clenched my fist. He had a great look, well- built body and a pleasant personality. As I continued to think, I felt a familiar wetness under me. I needed a man and there was nothing I could do about it.
Sexual urge and response is a big issue with old spinsters like me. I was still a virgin but there were times that I had felt like getting someone to break me. I had ever contemplated getting a sex toy, maybe a vibrator, something that could quench my thirst whenever I had a sexual urge like now. I would have done that but for my faith. To me, using a sex toy is an abominable and unclean act. Nevertheless, I had resulted to masturbation on few occasions. I always feel bad afterwards and would cry out to God for forgiveness.
With the way I felt that evening, going home directly might not be wise. I might end up doing something that would further add to my frustration. Therefore, I carried my frustration to the church, hoping to get succour at the weekly bible study. But lo and behold, it would have been better if I had gone straight home or just anywhere. That evening, someone stepped on my toes and I fought at the church.
TO BE CONTINUED
Talk comes easy when life is at its best. But when you are in the valley of life, it takes great faith to keep strong and continue trusting in God.
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
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𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 4
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Read previous episode here
There’s a way pent up emotions make people behave irrationally. Just picture a bottle filled with carbonated drink that has been compressed under pressure. Maybe the bottle has even been tossed here and there. The moment you pull off the cork on top of the bottle, the drink would angrily spill out and splatter everywhere. That was exactly what happened to me at the bible study. Though I was used to people making subtle remarks about my case, and some even saying things to my face, on this particular occasion I overreacted. For days and weeks afterward, I felt ashamed of myself and almost changed my church.
————-
The moment she spat the insult out of her mouth, my right hand left my side, flew up and connected to her face, resulting in a back-hand smack. She was caught unawares and almost fell sideways. Her husband grabbed her and charged at me. I stepped back and moved to my car.
The smack was loud. Eye witnesses would later testify that they clearly heard the sound, even from a distance. Two youth leaders who were having an intense discussion and two other people, one of them my student at the University. They turned sharply towards where I, Julius the choirmaster and his razor- mouthed, too- know and arrogant wife stood. She was the one that got the resounding smack from me.
By the next day, I was summoned to face an hurriedly organized three- man committee. What I did was bad and I had to be disciplined. According to one of the committee members, an elder that I had never agreed with, what I did was unheard of in the history of Beulah Salvation Assembly.
Mr. Julius and his wife got there before me. They sat side by side. The wife presented a picture of docility. She looked like someone that had been offended and was hurting. She sat with her head slightly bowed, and refused to look at the Elders directly in the face even when she was asked to recount what happened between us. She narrated what happened in a subdued voice.
I wanted to shout that her gentility was just a show. She looked like someone that could pretend a lot. I wanted to tell them of what she said that made me hit her. Elder Sebastian hushed me that I should wait for my turn to speak. I was never given that chance. For the fact that I slapped Tabitha Julius and she did not retaliate, I was pronounced guilty.
For the sacrilegous act and the abomination that I committed in the temple, I would have to apologize to Tabitha and her husband in front of the congregation on Sunday.
When Reverend called her ‘mummy’, I felt bile rise to my throat. Mummy to who? Tabitha looked younger than the youngest of my siblings.
He spoke about the incident and apologized on my behalf and on behalf of the church.
He said the church is sorry for what Miss Abigail Akanni did to one of our mummies, Mrs. Tabitha Julius.
He faced me directly. ” No matter who you are( he must be referring to my profile as a University lecturer) or what you have ( my house, car and other possessions), you should learn to respect people, especially the married people in the church.”
My head began to turn round and round and round. I felt like throwing up. Why must he mention that phrase, especially the married. What’s so special about being married anyway?
Now you are bluffing, my inner voice said. If there’s nothing special about being married, you won’t be hungering after marriage. You know how bad you want it. It’s the reason why you are becoming aggressive.
I behaved badly, agreed. I shouldn’t have hit Tabitha no matter how I was provoked. But then, some of these married people make one feel as if you are less human for being unmarried.
My tears gland began to constrict in readiness to push out hot fat tears. I swallowed hard. Not today. I knew what I did was wrong but I wouldn’t allow these people see me break. They won’t get that privilege. ” Abigail control yourself.” I whispered and breathed in deeply.
Reverend continued his speech. “Our youths should learn to respect the elders. Some of you have remained unfulfilled because of your bad character. Why would a worshipper slap another worshipper in the church. Sister Abigail, you have to work on your character please.”
I made it home before my dam broke. I cried and screamed at the four corners of my living room. What the Pastor said kept resonating in my mind until my head started banging as if a mad drummer was in there, drumming without caution.
Why should he refer to my singleness while reprimanding me? I just wonder why everyone won’t stop throwing this at my face. They make it seem as if it’s a great sin to be single at my age. Yes! I’m the oldest Spinster in my church, so what? It’s easy to bear when outsiders throw shades at you because of your state, but for members of God’s household?
—
I had made it to church before the bible study started. No matter what, I loved bible studies because of the opportunity to rub minds with other believers.
The study was on Eli and his children and people were sharing their views on what Eli did and what he didn’t do and why children should be trained properly. The pastor asked for practical steps on child training. I raised my hand to give my view.
I love children. Because of many years of working in the children department, I had gained lots of experiences and had voluntarily done seminars and training on child upbringing. I had both basic and advanced certificate in child training from CEM. Though I wasn’t married, I had the knowledge of what child upbringing entailed.
I spoke my mind. Few people agreed to what I said and even clapped at the end of my contribution. Those that did not agree with me raised their hands to counter me. It’s normal to have different views on issues even in church and it’s not a sin to speak your mind. Whereas, there’s liberty in God’s house.
Tabitha was one of those that raised their hands to speak after me. She was one of the ‘highly devoted members’ and ‘small mummies’. She was born in the church, reared in the church and got married in the church. There was always an air of ‘this is our church’ in the way she spoke and acted. Her father was a senior elder.
Tabitha handed over her baby to her husband and faced me. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry to say this but you are totally wrong.” She actually acted as if she had something against me. Thereafter, she faced the pastor. ” Daddy! I suggest we should be more practical about this topic. I think only people that are married and have children should be given the privilege to talk. Book knowledge is quite different from practical knowledge.”
I felt like ice cold water had been poured on me. I wanted to pick my bible and match out of the church. Instead, I shrugged as if Tabitha’s words didn’t get to me.
Maybe I would have been assuaged if the pastor had done something, anything, maybe correcting her. He never did that, instead, he moved on like nothing had happened. I swallowed the insult hook, line and sink without reacting physically, though I was boiling within.
I stalked Tabitha and her husband as they moved from one person to the other after the service, exchanging pleasantries. They were very popular. Tabitha’s husband was the church choirmaster.
When the church was almost empty, they moved towards the entrance. I rushed after them, met them at the pavement and slightly pulled Tabitha from the back.
She was startled and raised an eyebrow. Her husband smiled weakly at me. I wondered where they kept their baby. I was somewhat amused by what I was doing and it made me remember my secondary school days. How someone would offend you in school and you would wait till closing time to waylay the person. I wasn’t the fighting type but I witnessed lots of on-the-way-home fights.
Clearing my throat, I said. ” I don’t like the way you spoke to me in the church. Referring to my unmarried state or not having children wasn’t necessary at all. We are in church and everyone has the right to air their opinions.”
Tabitha replied me in an arrogant voice. ” But your opinion wasn’t necessary. Experience they say is the best teacher and you have none.”
” And who has the experience, you?” I pointed at her. ” You think you know more than me because you are married and have a kid? How long have you been married?”
Tabitha pushed her face forward. ” Even if it is for just a day, I am in my husband’s house and I am better than you.”
” In your small mind,” I said in a raised voice.
Tabitha grabbed her husband’s hand and murmured. ” I am not the cause of your predicament. Who knows if you had spent your blooming years pushing men away? Now you are seeing the repercussions…”
I guess she thought I wouldn’t hear her, but I did, and that statement earned her the smack on the face.
—–
I spent weeks ruminating on what happened, my reaction and the aftermath. I had to agree that I was becoming someone else because of my frustration. I had to come to a decision.
Though I may not be able to control what people say or do to me, but I can control the reaction from my own end. I musn’t allow people’s attitude to make me look bad, neither should I make them see my frustrations. I have the Holy spirit. I have the fruits of the spirit. I can endure whatever comes my way.
I wrote some declarations on sticky notes and pasted them on walls within my house. I am strong. I have power over my emotion. I refuse to be frustrated. I am an overcomer.
TO BE CONTINUED
When you allow what people say or do get to you, you might end up getting labeled as the bad person.
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
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𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 5
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Looking back to when I was growing up, I can’t lay my hands on a particular thing that I had done or not done, that could have landed me where I am now.
I grew up like every other child in an average village home. I was the first of my parents’ children. We were not rich but we weren’t also poor according to the standard of that time. While Baba was a farmer, mama had a shade in the village market where she sold farm products and household items. I was happy, growing up in the Akanni family.
It was fun all the way. Life was simple but peaceful. We ate fresh products from the farm. We drank from the village stream until a philanthropist decided to make communal taps in the village square. Every morning, we would wake up as early as possible to get water from the tap.
Household chores were a must. Every child got her own share on daily basis. My mother was a disciplinarian and never tolerated laziness from any of us. We were well trained and well behaved. Breakfast was always ogi and akara. We would eat hurriedly, put on our pinafores and begin our long trek to the school.
We were as healthy as any child could be. Mama would never allow us visit the village dispensary whenever we were sick. She had the remedy for all ailments. Every Saturday, she would line the six of us up and force us to take agbo. It was believed that agbo could clear the body of unwanted infections and prevent convulsions. How I hated that concotion, especially when I got to know that one of the ingredients was cow pee.
As far back as I could remember, I loved being in school and acquiring knowledge. My teachers noted this and pointed it out to my parents. I was always at the top of my class. I wasn’t just good in academics but also in extra curricular activities. Abigail was everywhere; in the drama club, press club, Jet club, even on the field. I represented my school in several competitions and brought glory to the school and the entire village.
It came as a passing thought to me at a time, that maybe during those years, someone had gotten jealous of my rapid progress and had done some evil manipulations. Maybe, just maybe the root of my problem is in the village. Whereas,the heart of man is desperately wicked. But even if that was so, I believe God must have delivered me the moment I gave my life to Christ? The bible says that if Any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. Old things have passed away and everything has become new. Old things include curses that anyone might have laid on me. Well, that was just a passing thought.
I became born again in my first year at the University of Ibadan. My room mate was a believer and had invited me to BSF. I loved the atmosphere and the way the students worshipped. It was quite different from how we worshipped at the village church. Every fellowship meeting was a unique experience for me and one day, I willingly gave my life to the one who died for my sins. I became consumed with God’s love and the zeal for his house. I got active in the fellowship and became the bible study coordinator for two consecutive years.
Suffice to say that even before I became born again, I was a good girl. If there was one thing that my mum did, it was to teach us morals and social norms. That was more reason why I was surprised and disappointed when she asked me to get a man to impregnate me. Something had really changed.
Every month, mama would check if we had seen our monthly flow. She would go as far as mandating us to show our blood stained rags. She made sure that she taught us about the dangers of premarital sex. She painted such a gory picture that I became scared of even sitting with boys in class. Mama didn’t go as far as checking if our hymens were intact, but I in particular never thought of doing the unthinkable.
Looking back now, one thing I wished my parents especially Mama had done more was to be spiritually minded and prayerful. Prayers of parents on their children are like seeds sown into the future. Many people that we see as being favoured in life are enjoying the dividends of prayers from their parents’ prayer bank. Though as a family, we never missed the routine and boring morning devotions on daily basis, I wish my parents had done more.
There was a time I questioned mama if she had ever taken time to pray specially for her children. That was when I was 35, and had visited home during my annual leave. Mama seemed offended and left me standing. By the next day, she asked me to follow her to see someone. That person turned out to be a prophet. I was taken aback seeing that my mum patronized prophets.
She told the prophet that I was 35 and had no man in my life. He prescribed prayers and fastings for me. He said he would wash my head in the village stream with a kind of special soap. Above all, I would be under spiritual seclusion(abo) for 7 days.
I smiled and nodded as if I was in agreement with mama and the prophet. They didn’t know that I was planning something in my mind. By the next day, I escaped from the village without informing my parents.
——-
Jide was my first and only village sweet heart. Despite Mama’s warning about boys and the harm they could cause to girls, I started an innocent and platonic relationship with Jide in my final year in secondary school.
We started out as being friends. One day, Jide looked into my eyes and told me he was going to marry me when we grow up. He was 18 while I was 17. He said he loved me and I believed him. He was the health prefect while I was the senior girl. We always cast loving glances at each other and hold hands as we walked the bush path to and from school together. I swore my sisters to secrecy not to let my parents know about me and Jide. However, our love and actions were pure with no hidden agenda.
Everything changed after we both got admission and spent a year in our respective schools. While I was studying Biochemistry at the University of Ibadan, Jide was in a Polytechnic. We had wanted to be in the same school but Jide couldn’t get a place at the Uni that year. Therefore, he settled for Iree poly. Even with that, we maintained our relationship through correspondence.
When we returned for the Christmas holiday that year, I was eager to see Jide. I had missed him a lot. I told mama that I wanted to see a friend in the village. She gave a knowing smile.
” You want to go and see Jide abi?”
I was suprised and shook my head fearfully.
” I saw his mother at the church yesterday.” Mama continued. “She told me that Jide returned from Iree three days ago.”
Raising a finger up like a primary school pupil, I said in a fearful voice. ” I can explain.”
Mama smiled. ” I don’t need any explanation. You think I didn’t know what had been going on between you two? I have ears and eyes all over the village. I just want you to be careful. Don’t bring shame to this family. Jide is a good boy from a good home and will make a good husband.”
—–
One glance at Jide and I knew that he had changed. His hairstyle, his dressing and the way he spoke was different from what I knew.
He started making subtle demands of wanting to go down with me. I refused blatantly.
” Why now Abige?” He had asked in a pained voice. ” Our parents are aware of our relationship. We will end up as husband and wife so, it’s not a bad thing to taste ourselves now. Giving me your body is the highest expression of love you can show to me.”
” No!” I objected. ” I want to remain a virgin until our wedding night.”
” But I will be your husband. See! If we do it now, we will pretend that you are a virgin on that day.”
” If we do it now, I will seize to be a virgin. You will not be able to undo what has been done.”
” What’s the essence sef?” Jide asked in a frustrated tone. “Okay! Please!” He moved closer to me and I shifted backwards. He went on his knees. ” Let’s just kiss. At least, let me feel you.”
” No!” I insisted. ” The bible says we should shun all evil and appearances of evil. If I allow you to kiss me now, you won’t be satisfied with only kissing at another time. Gradually, we will graduate to other things. It will be a sin against God and my body to release myself to you. Don’t you know that our body is the temple of the living God? The bible says that we shouldn’t engage in sexual immorality.”
” What is it with all these bible quotations? I’m going to be your husband, simple! Let’s just do it once. I promise never to ask again. If it is pregnancy that you are scared of, I know what we can do to prevent it.”
” Oh!” I flared up. ” You already know what to do to prevent pregnancy. That means you’ve been doing it with other girls.”
” No!” He tried to hold me and I slapped his hands off.
From that day, Jide won’t stop pestering me for s@x. There was even a time that he traveled to see me in school. I was happy that he came and I welcomed him warmly, but He had something in stock for me. Jide had booked a hotel and wanted us to go and do it there.
I stood my ground that I wouldn’t defile my body. I was getting tired of the relationship anyway. His persistent demand for s@x was wearying me. There and then, Jide threatened to opt out of the relationship. I thought he was merely ranting, but he made good his words. By the next holiday, he returned home with a female friend from school. He flaunted her around the village and I was hurt. Needless to say that by then, I also had started crushing on Bro Segun; a brother in the fellowship
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
Shared on REGEN
𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 6
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There’s only one word that I can use to describe Bro Segun, and that word is perfection, both physically and spiritually. If you understand what I mean, It is not always that you get a man that is spiritually sound, physically attractive, morally upright and academically gifted. Bro Segun was that and more. He was the best student in his department from the first to final year and clinched all the awards at his graduation. That little village girl (me) couldn’t help but crush on him.
Bro Segun was in his 4th year when I got into school. He was a medical student and a favourite of all, especially the ladies. Oh! how I used to feel giddy whenever I sensed that Bro Segun was looking at me, and how I hanged on every of his words. I spent lots of time dreaming about Segun, leaving no eyes or room for any other man. Funny me, I even made it a prayer point that he should show interest in me. He became an idol that I worshipped in my heart.
If Bro Segun had eyes for me or any of the ladies in the fellowship, no one could tell.He hardly related with females, except on normal fellowship ground. He had this way of not looking at ladies in the eyes when speaking. Bro Segun was very reserved.
Our fellowship had a strong rule on relationship between members of the opposite sex, especially for leaders. While there was no ban on members courting one another, it was expected that they conduct themselves with the highest level of decorum worthy of believers. We had a couple of brothers courting sisters. It’s a beautiful thing when believers are involved in godly relationships, showing the world an example of what courtship should be.
Bro Segun did not have a sister in the fellowship, as far as I knew. I was happy in a way and continued praying that he would develop interest in me. I always dreamt of being his wife. He as a medical doctor, and me a biochemist. We were both good looking and would sure have beautiful children.
One day, cunningly, I asked my room mate, the one that introduced me to the fellowship, if Bro Segun was engaged. Looking at me in a funny kind of way, she asked.
” Why are you asking? What’s your business if he’s engaged or not?”
I shrugged. ” Nothing. It’s just that, his wife will be a very lucky woman. That brother is so gentle and soft spoken. He barely look at people in the face.”
” And so…hope you are not having ideas? There’s nothing Bro Segun will do with you or any other lady in the fellowship.”
” Did I say I want him to have anything with me?”
” It’s written all over you.” She pointed. ” See the way you are blushing. You better rid your mind of any foolish idea. Bro Segun is a true child of God and wouldn’t entertain distractions.”
I looked at my room mate squarely in the face. ” Why are you taking it personal? You sound as if Bro Segun has given you assignment to tell sisters to stay away, whereas you are not even close to him. Is he forbidden from having relationships?”
“I didn’t say that. What I’m saying is that, Bro Segun is sold out to God and God’s work. He has no time for women.Have you ever seen him relating as such?”
” I think it’s because of his personality. He’s reserved and shy by nature.”
” Whatever. Put your mind off him. You still have a lot to learn about christian marriage and what it entails. As a believer, you are not permitted to choose for yourself, if you want to get it right. You have to pray and wait on God to get his perfect will for your life. You have plenty time to do that. We are just in 100 level.”
I started praying for my future spouse as instructed by Ronke, though at the back of my mind, I knew who I wanted the man to be. I often envisaged going to the village to show Bro. Segun to my parents as my man. We would hold hands and walk round the village just like Jide did with his girl when he brought her home. I would plainly show Jide that I’ve gotten over him and have a better man for myself. I would tell anyone that cared to know that Bro Segun is a medical doctor.
My feelings for Bro Segun was so much that I had no eyes for any other man. The few toasters that I had were smartly shown their levels. None appealed to me like my crush. The love for Bro Segun made me give exceptional attention to my academic work. I wanted to be outstanding so that he could notice me.
When I was made the bible study coordinator, I saw it as an opportunity to move closer to Bro Segun. By then, he was the brothers’ coordinator and was almost rounding up his program. We held meetings together. I got to know him better. I always made sure that I talk intelligibly whenever I was around him. I couldn’t help but show my academic prowess and oratory giftedness on those occasions. I could swear that I caught Bro Segun looking at me with interest at one or two times. Maybe I was only imagining things anyway.
While Bro Segun was still playing hard to get( if I may use that word) I knew, that he knew that i liked him. I got very close to another brother; our president, Bro. ‘Leke. We became so close that tongues started wagging that we were dating. We went for meetings together. I cooked for him. I washed his clothes. I ran errands for him. It was hard telling people that we weren’t in a relationship.
We had just closed from fellowship one day and I was walking to the hostel alone, processing some thoughts in my mind, related to what we learnt that day. Suddenly, I began to hear footsteps behind me. I turned. It was Bro Segun, what a surprise?
” Hello Sister Abigail.” He said. He couldn’t look at me directly in the face.
” Hello, Bro Segun.”
” How…waaaas the program.” He stammered. He looked scared. This is a brother that would stand in front of the fellowship and preach boldly. See him shaking in front of a woman.
” Program was fine. I was blessed.” I replied.
Bro Segun stood transfixed. He seemed to be finding it difficult to find his voice. The sharp me, I decided to find the voice for him.
” Bro Segun, is everything okay.”
” Yes! Yes!” He answered too quickly and looked into the distance. ” I…just…want to ask after your room mate, Ronke. Is everything…okay with her? She wasn’t in the fello…”
I plummeted to the ground from cloud nine. Here I am thinking that God has finally shown me to Bro Segun as his wife and he’s here to talk about it and ask me to pray. Dissapointedly, I replied. ” Oh Ronke. She’s okay. She went home to visit her parents. She will be back tomorrow.”
Bro Segun rubbed his palms together. ” Thank you Sister Abigail.”
” Good night Bro Segun.” I turned back sharply.
I couldn’t sleep that night. I already concluded that something was going on between Bro Segun and Ronke. No wonder she’s always defensive whenever I mentioned his name. But why would she hide their relationship from me?
Two weeks later, Ronke casually said that Bro Segun asked of me.
“What?” I turned.
” Bro. Segun asked of you.”
” He also asked of you when you travelled home to see your parents.” I told Ronke. ” I forgot to tell you.” I lied. I didn’t forget to tell her. I intentionally refused to tell her.
” Well, he wanted to know if there’s something going on between you and Bro ‘Leke. Being close friends, he thought I should know.” Ronke continued. “I wonder why he couldn’t ask you directly.”
” And what did you tell him?” I asked eagerly and waited with abated breath. My spirit had already soared. At last, Bro Segun must be contemplating a relationship with me. He wants to be sure that I’m free.
” I told him that it’s likely, that you people are always together.”
” Haba! Why would you say that. You know there’s nothing between me and Bro ‘Leke. If we are courting, you will be the first to know. We will not hide it from the fellowship as well.”
” Why are you worked up?” Ronke asked irritably. ” It’s nothing. He probably asked because he’s the brothers’ coordinator and wanted to be sure that nothing ungodly is going on. You wouldn’t think he asked because he wanted something from you, would you? Bro Segun is not interested in you or any lady. He’s consumed with the love for God and his work.”
I sensed that there was more to what Ronke told me. I wished I could get the boldness to meet Segun and let him know that I and Leke were just friends. Bro. Leke shouldn’t spoil show for me.
I was still expecting Segun to speak out when I began my IT in another state. I was away for a whole semester. By the time I returned to school, I met the surprise of my life. The news came to me that Ronke was pregnant.
I first heard about it from a fellow students ” No, it couldn’t be.” I objected. “Ronke is a believer.” I defended my friend. ” She wouldn’t do that.”
” When last did you see her?” The person that told me asked. ” When was the last time you spoke to her?”
” Well,” it had been long that we spoke. There was a time I even felt that Ronke was avoiding my calls. Being away for months, I guessed she might be busy just as I was also busy at my IT company.
The moment I returned to the hostel, I picked my phone to call Ronke’s number. ” But what will I tell her?” I asked myself and cleared my throat. ” Ore, there’s something that I heard about you. I have already fought on your behalf. They said that you are pregnant. I wonder why people like peddling rumour.”
No! I drew back. I can’t approach her in that way. I would rather ask why she hasn’t returned to the hostel. I would tell her that I had made arrangement at student affairs so that her slot could be reserved.
When I called Ronke, her response was so cold that I almost felt the chill in my heart. ” I’m not returning to the hostel. I have an accomodation in town now.” She told me.
” Why, is it cheaper? Why didn’t…”
Ronke cut me short. ” I’m sorry, I’m cooking in the kitchen. I will probably see you around the school on one of these days.”
It took me two weeks to get a glimpse of Ronke. It was either she wasn’t coming to school or she was avoiding me intentionally. Seeing her was more difficult because we were not in the same faculty. However, luck shone on me one day. She was just coming out of a lecture hall. I blocked her path and looked at her from head to toe. ” So it is true.” I whispered.
” What is true?” She asked irritably.
” This of course.” I pointed to her midsection. She was already showing.
She shrugged. ” Well, if you will excuse me, my husband is waiting to pick me home.”
” Who is he? No student could say the identity of the man that did this to you.”
Ronke smiled. ” Did this to me? You sounded as if I was raped or forced to carry this pregnancy. Though it came at a time we weren’t expecting, the seed was sown in love. I love my man.”
Ronke’s response took me off balance. ” You are not even remorseful.” I said in an angry tone. “You committed a sin and you are glorying in it. Is this expected of a believer? So you’ve been pretending all along.”
” Enough!” Ronke stopped me with her palm raised. ” I didn’t pick this from the street. For avoidance of doubt, if you care to follow me, I will show you the identity of my husband. I hope you will be magnanimous enough to share his identity among other students. It’s time they got to know anyway, we don’t owe anyone,any explanation.”
I followed Ronke like a dummy. She led me to a small sport car parked under a tree, away from prying eyes. Before we got to the car, she turned and looked at me. I could feel that she was mocking me. But why?
” I’m.going to give you an invitation card. Our traditional and court wedding will hold next month. It’s better done before I get heavier.”
Ronke moved to the driver’s side of the car and opened the door. Before then, the glass was up and I couldn’t see the person seated on the driver’s seat.
” Sweet heart.” Ronke called affectionately and drew me forward. ” Abigail wants to greet you.”
I almost collapsed when I came face to face with the man that impregnated my friend.
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
Shared on REGEN
𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 7
Regen Relationship Follow on TwitterSend an email3 weeks ago
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If you have ever caught someone stealing meat directly from a pot of soup before. If you could imagine how that person would feel knowing that he’s been caught red-handed. That exactly, must be how Bro. Segun must have felt on seeing me towering above him. Both of us were dumbfounded. I couldn’t find my voice immediately. Bro Segun looked sheepish. I could feel shame oozing from his pores. When I found my voice, words came out of my mouth like the croaking of a frog. I cleared my throat. ” Bro Segun.”
” Sister Abigail.” He replied. I could see pain in his eyes. His brow carried worry lines. While Ronke looked unperturbed and happy, Segun looked disturbed and sad.
To say that I was disappointed with my friend and Bro. Segun is an understatement. I found it difficult wrapping my head round what they did. I hate pretenders, and both of them were pretenders, especially my friend. So she wanted Bro Segun for herself all this while. Little wonder she was always defensive whenever you talked about him. She wanted him and manipulated her way into his life. As if that was not enough, she made him fall like a pack of cards. I refused to believe otherwise. She must have lured him into her bed. I felt cheated. Why would Segun allow Ronke pull him down? Wasn’t he spiritual enough to know when the enemy was about to strike? He should have known that I was the one meant for him.
The uncomfortable silence between Segun and I would have lasted for too long if not that Ronke broke the ice. I couldn’t just think of what to say to him. However, Ronke saved the day. She turned to Segun and placed her hand on his laps saying. ” Sweet heart, I already told Abigail that our trad and court wedding would hold next month and that she’s invited.”
” See! Sister Ronke.” Segun replied with a larger than life frown on his face. ” I have told you at countless times that we should take things slowly. That we found ourselves entangled in this web doesn’t mean we should rush into marriage. I am not prepared. You know we won’t be living together now if not for my parents’ insistence.”
Bro Segun had graduated and was doing his housemanship at UCH. I learnt that his parents were rich and were one of the movers and shakers in Ibadan. Segun and Ronke had moved into one of their properties in Challenge.
I noticed that Ronke was hurt by Segun’s words. She whispered. ” Must you say that before a stranger?”
” Who is a stranger? Sister Ronke! Is she not your friend?”
It seemed they both would stretch the argument. I wasn’t ready to be a witness to that. Clearing my throat, I said. ” I think I should take my leave now.”
” Yes of course.” Ronke replied quickly. ” I will give you a call.”
Their action made me lost trust in human nature. It taught me never to look up to any man or woman as being perfect. As long as man is man, never expect perfection. It is only God that is perfectly perfect and infallible.
I avoided Ronke like a plague. Their wedding held but I refused to attend. I became a shadow of myself and only lived for my academics. I got too committed to school work. Wanting to excel and prove myself became an obsession. I needn’t do much anyway, my grades were super from the onset. I just needed little effort to maintain my first class GP.
I gave too much. I pushed the fellowship to the background. People noticed that I was growing cold. Bro ‘Leke spoke to me. We became closer than ever before. One day, he asked me.
” Sister Abigail, something is eating you up. Do you mind to share?”
” Nothing.” I answered mechanically. ” I am just overwhelmed with the final year stuff, writing project and other things.”
” Are you sure?” Bro ‘ Leke asked with concern. ” The vibrant and always happy Abigail that I knew has disappeared. This one is sad and ever brooding. What is eating you up?”
I snapped ‘cos I was irritated by his show of concern.
” I said nothing.” I answered too loudly.
” I’m sorry.” I apologized.
“I’m not just in the right frame of mind now. If you will excuse me please.”
” Can we go watch a play together later?” Bro ‘Leke asked as I walked away.
” Maybe. You can call me later.”
Bro ‘Leke!
I should start thinking towards that direction. Since the person I love has decided to pitch his tent with another, isn’t it advisable that I move? I might not be attracted to ‘Leke the way I was to Segun, but I could live with that and make myself develop affection for him. Getting married to ‘Leke would be a sweet revenge on Ronke for snatching my man. I would make it glaring that our wedding bed is undefiled and our relationship is pure, unlike some people that decided to jump the gun.
One day, Bro Leke said he wanted to see me. I was almost sure of the reason for that. I was excited. Leke would express the desire to marry me and would ask me to go and pray about it. I would end up accepting his proposal. I love one man but would marry another.
” I want to invite you to witness something.” Bro ‘ Leke started.
” Witness what?”
” I have a sister that we’ve been friends for quite a while.”
Could that be me? I asked myself. Why is Leke beating about the bush? Come straight.
” Are you with me?” He asked.
” Sure.” I replied too quickly.
” Your mind seemed to be far away.”
” I’m with you.”
” I said I have this long time friend. She schooled in the north but is back home for youth service. We’ve been praying about us becoming husband and wife and we are fully convinced that God is in support of our relationship. I want to make a formal proposal to her so that wedding preparation could begin in earnest. I won’t be going for youth service since I’m above the service age. I already have a computer center that could sustain us financially as we begin our home. Everything is planned out with the help of God.”
Leke had just hit me with a sledge hammer. What did he say about proposing to a sister? Jesus! So all this while, he had someone and was just tagging me along.
My eyes opened. Leke had eaten my food and drank my water. We had gone to places together. We looked good together as a couple, but he choose to propose to another. What a life?
” Will you follow me to Ogbomosho?” He asked. Sister Beatrice is serving at Lautech. I’m organizing a get together with a couple of friends and… I want to surprise her.”
” You can go to hell for all I care.” I screamed. ” I don’t want to witness your proposal or anybody’s, for that matter. Leave me alone. Leave my room please.” I pointed to the door.
‘Leke moved closer to me. ” Sister Abigail, what is wrong? What has come over you?”
” What has come over me? You want to know what has come over me?” I pointed at his chest. All these while, you kept tagging me along like a second skin. What have I not been doing for you. I even bring your dirty clothes to my room to get them washed. People saw us as couples. Now that it is time to propose, you remember that you have one lady in the north. So I’m not good enough for a wife…”
” Don’t see it in that way.” Leke pleaded. ” We are good friends. I enjoy our friendship and I like you. However, that we are close doesn’t mean you will be my wife. Marriage issue is deeper than that. Beatrice is the perfect will for my life. It is her that God wants me to marry.”
” Then why didn’t you tell me about her all this while?”
” Because we never really got down to talking about our personal lives.”
” What a lame excuse,” I cried. ” You are cunny like the others.” I pointed to the door. ” Get out of my room now!”
” Sister Abigail please…”
” Get out!”
TO BE CONTINUED
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
Shared on REGEN
𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 8
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It is 22years since I left Uni after my first degree. I have since obtained my masters degree and I’m at the verge of getting my PHD. That should have been accomplished three years ago, if not for my major Supervisor that wouldn’t let me go( story for another day).
Many waters had passed under the bridge of my life. Friends had come and left me. My experience with Segun and Ronke remained fresh in my memory. They ended up getting married. I kept tab on them from a distance. Their first child should be about 21 now. The last I heard of them, they were doing well, despite the way their union started. I couldn’t help but feel bitter about it. Why will people go against the will of God and still prosper. Some even end up doing better than people that had been true to God all the way.
Have you ever considered this mystery of life? Why do good people suffer? An upright and fervent sister would spend the whole of her life looking for a husband, another that had lived a rough life would have choices of men and get settled in no time. She’d live happily with her spouse ever after. A lady that has lived a sexually pure life will get into her marital home and struggle for years before having the fruit of the womb. Another that had lived roughly, done abortions and several kind of atrocities will become married and achieve pregnancy in her very first month of marriage. Does it mean that God reserves his mercy for some particular set of people and not everyone? Is following God a waste of time? If one will serve God and still get worse treatment than people that aren’t serving God, why bother then?
When these sought of thoughts come into my mind, I always console myself that God has my best interest at heart. His ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so is his ways higher than our ways and his thoughts than our thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and returns not thirter but waters the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall his word be that goes forth out of his mouth: it shall not return unto him void, but it shall accomplish that which he pleases, and it shall prosper in the thing that he sent it.
Since God has promised that he will grant me the desires of my heart, and my desire is to get married and have kids one day, I know he will grant it. But when?
To be truthful, there were times in the past, when I wished I had allowed Jide to have his way with me. At such times, I knew it was my flesh thinking. I would reason that if I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock then, it wouldn’t have mattered because the end would have justified the means. By now, I would have a grown up child. I would be settled and contented. I would still achieve whatever I want to achieve. At such times, I would recount countless people that had done such and have made it in life. I always struggled to shake myself from such line of thoughts, knowing that the devil has a way of manipulating our thoughts and making it look like forsaking God is the best. But I know, and I believe, that no matter what man face in life, God’s way will always be the best.
I stopped going to reunions and old students’ meetings because people won’t stop asking me embarrassing questions. Even those that know about my issue would still want to know more. I don’t know why people enjoy causing pains for others.
Someone would ask. Abigail how is your husband?
Another would say, How are your kids? They must be very grown now.
What kind of answer was I supposed to give, lie?
I had no relationship that lasted more than a year after breaking up with Jide.
First was with Tersoo. He was a TIV guy that I met at the NYSC orientation camp. He only wanted to chop and run. I even discovered that he had made a bet with his friends that he could effortlessly sleep with ‘ that NCCF sister’ that is always claiming holiness, that all women are the same, no matter what they claim. He disguised as a believer and joined our fold. That relationship looked promising at the beginning till I discovered his motive. I kept my thighs closed and my pants tight. Tersoo scampered away after discovering that he was dealing with a wrong person.
Alozie came after him. We were much in love. We met at the tail end of our service year. We both were members of NCCF. Alozie knew and loved God. I was almost sure that he would be my last bus stop as par relationship.
After my service year, I was called back to my alma mater as a graduate assistant. Alozie settled in Lagos where his parents lived. He took me to them as the lady he wanted to marry. Lo and behold, they rejected me outrightly. The reason for the rejection wasn’t far fetched, we were from different parts of the country.
I expected Alozie to stand up to his parents, affirm his love for me and insist that I was God’s will for him. I never knew that he was a weakling when it came to making decisions, especially when his parents were involved. Though he claimed to love me, he wouldn’t go against his parents’ will to marry me. Our relationship suffered. Eventually, we broke up and he married someone from his village.
TO BE CONTINUED
Trials and delays may come our way and make us look helpless. But in truth, God is always there for us. He makes everything beautiful in its time
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
Shared on REGEN
𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 & 𝐍𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐋 – 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 9
Read previous episode here
I was at home doing nothing in particular on a boring and sunny Saturday afternoon, when I received an August visitor. I couldn’t believe my eyes on answering a call at my door and seeing Mrs. OgunKolade. I almost jumped out of my skin because she was the least person I expected in my house. I didn’t even know that she knew where I lived. Composing myself while trying to mask my discomfiture, I mumbled, ‘ Jesus’ under my breath and curtsied halfway down. Mummy pulled me up and hugged me.
” You are welcome ma.” I said breathlessly. ” This is a beautiful surprise.”
” I know you will be suprised.” The distinguished looking woman answered as she followed me in and settled heavily on my sofa. She puffed out air. ” I am very tired, but I promised myself that I must see you today.”
I was indecisive on what to offer Mrs. Ogunkolade. It’s not everyday that you get a visit from someone that is as distinguished as she is. Moreso, I was a loner. I rarely got visitors, except for Moyo, my friend. I wasn’t used to entertaining guests.
Mrs. Ogunkolade understood my plight and drew my right hand. She said. ” Come and sit. Let’s talk.”
Wow! She’s even behaving like we are pals, I said to myself.
We were not close as such. We worshipped in the same church, but I only knew her from afar. She had a warm and receptive personality. She commanded respect. Though she seemed to be the most educated, most accomplished and most distinguished female in my church, she was nice and generous. She stood out among several other women.
Years earlier, she had retired as a school principal before becoming the country director of an NGO. She commanded influence wherever she went, alongside her Professor husband. Everyone in the church valued her and even the lousiest member wouldn’t toy with her. At several times, her family had single handedly financed projects in the church. All her children were based abroad.
For her to visit me in my house, I needed no one to tell me that something was cooking. What could that be? I tried to search my mind for likely reasons. I was eager to hear her.
” I’m honoured to have you ma.” I said, after offering her a drink.
” Sorry about what happened the other day at the church.” She replied. “I had wanted to speak to you since then.”
” That is in the past ma.” I replied. ” I have realized my mistakes and have made necessary adjustments.”
” Hmmm.” She grunted. ” I pray God wipe your tears and give you joy.”
” Amen.”
She moved closer to me. ” I have plenty time today and I want us to talk. I’m on terminal leave from the NGO. I am finally, fully retiring from active service.”
” That’s great.”
” You can say that again.” Mrs Ogunkolade pulled off her shoes and raised one of her legs to the sofa. She looked comfortable in my house and behaved like we’ d been long time friends.
“I’m looking forward to it. I will have time to travel around the world and do things that I’ve always wanted to do. I might likely write a book.
” That will be great.
She cleared her throat and looked at me directly in the eyes. I was suprised at her next question. It was so direct and I wasn’t expecting it.
” What’s the latest on your husband search, is there anyone in the pipeline yet?
If that question had emanated from someone else, I would have harshly put the individual in her place. Husband search indeed. As if I had a placard on my chest announcing that I’m searching for a man. Despite her somewhat insensitive question, I guessed Mrs. Ogunkolade was genuinely concerned.
” I’m still trusting God.” I answered her. ” But as it is, I have already accepted the possibility that I might never get married.”
She placed a hand across her lips as if cautioning a child.” Shhhh. Don’t say that again.”
I stood and opened my hands wide. ” Isn’t it obvious? I’m beginning to believe that God has destined some people never to get married in life. Maybe I belong to that category. My experience of delay keeps reminding me of the story of a sister. She was fervent and Godly, but spent most of her life waiting for a husband that never came. She kept on believing God. At a time, she attended a revival service where a pastor told her to sew a wedding gown by faith and keep it because her husband was at her door step. She sowed the gown and kept it for years with no man showing up. At the end of the day, her house was burgled and the wedding gown and other things were stolen. That sister never…”
” Your case will not be like that,” Mummy prayed, touching me on the shoulder.
” Mummy! I’m ready to accept whatever comes my way. I’m already thinking of adopting a child.”
” Stop it sister Abigail. Adopting someone else’s child can never equal to giving birth to yours. Even if it is just one. Look! I have a suggestion and that is why I took the time to come here. I have been concerned about you and praying for you. I feel God is pointing us towards a direction. I don’t know how you will take what I want to say.”
” I’m all ears ma.”
” There’s this brother in the church, a fervent and consistent brother. We all know and can vouch for him. He’s as matured as you are. I have personally spoken to him and have confirmed that he has never been married. I think it will be good if the two of you can come together.”
Quickly, my head did a fast calculation, wondering who that brother could be.Who is the matured brother that will want to marry Abigail?”
” I took the liberty of asking if he is interested in you.” Mrs. Ogunkolade said. ” I think he likes you.”
If it was another person, I would have flared up and given mummy a piece of my mind. For God sake, why would she go to that extent? Who made her a mediator, or a marriage counsellor or a matchmaker? Who told her that I believe in matchmaking? She must think that she’s doing me a great favour. I had the push to tell her to stop whatever she wanted to say and let me be. I couldn’t say that though, I was boiling within me.
” Who is the brother?” I asked in a controlled voice.
Mrs. Ogunkolade looked down at her palms, as if she was scared to say the name of the brother. Afterwards, his name rolled out of her mouth like saliva dribbling out of the mouth of an infant. Even the name alone repulsed me.
” Clement!” She whispered.
My ears pricked.
My hairs stood on ends.
” Did I hear you right ma?” I asked. ” You said who?”
” Bro. Clement Atabo.”
” I heard you then.” I said, standing up. “Cle- what?”
Now I couldn’t control my anger. ” Mummy!” I shrieked. ” You cant possibly mean Bro Clement?”
” Yes! Bro Clement!” She affirmed.
Clement was an half-educated fellow, working with a security company that was on contract with the University where I worked. He was always stationed at the school gate and I often hear students making jest of him because of his bad pronountiation of English words. Clement the church rat. Clement that no one really respect in the true sense. He lived around the church and is always at the church whenever he’s not at work. Anyone could send Clement on any errand, even kids. Clement is a handful. Whenever he’s off duty and he is not within the church compound, he would be at the house of one member or the other, doing menial jobs or running errands. Some women even send him to get stuffs for them from the market.
Pointing to my chest, I said loudly. ” Me!
Clement!”
” Calm down” Mrs. Ogunkolade pleaded. ” I know what you are thinking. I understand your feeling as well. You think Clement is below your level. While that is true, it is also true that you can raise him to any height you want. It is money that repairs a man. Some of our men will look like monkey without money. This brother is a child of God. You will do well together. See! At this point in your life,you don’t really have a choice. Take this man. Work on him. Before you know it, he will be the kind of man you want him to be. And…” She lowered her voice and smiled. ” He will pump your belly with babies. He look like a man that will be good in the other room. Don’t mind this old woman. If a man is good in that aspect, other things will fall in place. You might be lucky and have one or two kids before your biological clock winds down. Sorry that I’m too blunt, but it’s a point that we can’t ignore.”
Unconsciously, I touched my belly. The thought of Clement pumping my stomach with babies sounded so repulsive that I felt like throwing up. Imagine me on the same bed with Clement. Imagine Clement acting as my husband and commanding me to do this and that. How do we reconcile that? What will people say about me? That I married out of desperation.
I was in a very foul mood after Mrs.Ogunkolade left my house. It got to a point that I began to weep.
How could she suggest such absurdity?
Me! Clement!
I wondered if she would suggest same if I was her daughter. How could she ask me to marry an almost illiterate. No! I can’t imagine Clement becoming my husband. It is never going to happen.
Written by © Bosede Fagbemi
Shared on REGEN
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟎
Sleeping wasn’t easy for me after my encounter with Mrs. Ogunkolade. As I laid on the bed, my mind wouldn’t relax and sleep refused to come. I couldn’t even pray. Instead, I kept on thinking about Mrs. Ogunkolade’s suggestion. I wondered what made her think I would agree to be Clement’s wife. No it wouldn’t happen. Not in this life. I would rather remain single than unite with that ‘thing’.
Sorry for my harshness, but I believe round pegs should be fixed in round holes. I am a child of God. I believe in God bringing people together to become one, just as he brought Adam and Eve together. I believe in divine arrangement, but not this. I did not wait for all these years to end up marrying a nobody. Who’s even talking about divine arrangement? Mrs. Ogunkolade might just be working through instinct and human wisdom and not any revelation. I didn’t remember her saying that God spoke to her about me and Clement.
I wanted a man that I could respect, honour and align with. I wanted someone that would stand tall by my side with no fear. I wanted a man I could love and reference. I had no iota of love for Clement and there was no certainty that the love would come. We both were two parallel lines that could never meet. We were worlds apart.
At a point during the night, I stood up and started pacing around my bedroom, thinking and speaking aloud. I ruminated on people that had one form of delay or the other in the bible and how they ended up. They all got the best at the end of their waiting periods.
Abraham and Sarah had a long wait for a child. They got Isaac, a child like no other. He was perfect. He was a child that any parent could be proud of. Hannah got Samuel at the end of a long wait. Samuel ended up becoming one of the greatest prophets of his time. Elizabeth and Zacharias also waited for countless years for the fruit of the womb. God gave them John; a peculiar child with a divine purpose.
Why would God give me Clement at the end of my long wait? No! I didn’t believe he was God’s will for me. I saw no good in him.
At about 4am, my weary body finally succumbed to sleep; a troubled one. I had series of nightmares that were tied to my experience of the day before. At one point, I was fighting with Mrs. Ogunkolade and telling her to let me have what belongs to me. I told her pointedly that she cannot stop what God has ordained. I woke up in a confused state. The dream looked too real. My confusion heightened and I asked myself why I should be fighting Mrs. Ogunkolade for my possession, when she was the one that brought the idea of marrying Clement to me. Well, I brushed the dream off. As my people will say, ala go( there’s foolishness in nightmares).
I couldn’t return to sleep after the dream episode. Holding my head because of a migraine that just started, I opened my bedside cabinet, picked a white drug envelope and poured 4 tablets of paracetamol into my palms. I swallowed the overdose without water and proceeded to brush my teeth.
I needed to be at the school for a departmental board meeting scheduled for 9am. Most importantly, I must quickly get hold of Moyo and gist her of what happened.
————–
” There’s gist,” was the first phrase I muttered to Moyo, the moment we met at school. I looked terrible, like something that the dogs had dragged in. There were bags under my eyes, and despite the 2000mg of paracetamol that I took, my head was still splitting. I made a note to check my blood pressure at the school clinic.
Moyo dragged me to one side and asked. ” What is it? You look terrible. Did you sleep at all?”
” I slept for only two hours.”
” Spill it out.” She said with concern.
” It’s not something that we can say while standing.”
” Let’s use the office then. Your’s or mine?” She dragged me by the hand.
” The walls have ears and the gist is only meant for your ears.”
” That’s serious. Let’s go to my car then.”
I smiled for the first time that day. Moyo had a way of making me smile even when I am sad. Her love for gist is next to none. Despite how I was feeling, I teased her.
” This one that your ears are pricked up for holy gossip, don’t you have lectures to deliver this morning?”
” Lecture ke? My students are busy going around for SUG election campaign. I have told them that the next time we meet, I will slam them with a test. So, my sister in the Lord, I have time for holy gossip this morning.”
We laughed out loudly as we dragged ourselves to her car. I was already feeling better. As we settled in the car, I broke the ice.
” Mrs. Ogunkolade was at my house yesterday.”
Moyo raised an eyebrow. ” Don’t tell me that you’ve started dining with the high and mighty.”
” She was there on a mission.”
” Which is?” Moyo touched my arm.
” She suggested a match between me and Clement.”
” Match.” Moyo said mischievously. ” Football…table tennis… wrestling…”
” Stop it Moyo! This is a serious matter. You know what I meant. She suggested that we become couples…as in, get married.”
Moyo looked at me pointedly and stayed silent for a very long time. Afterwards, she asked in a whisper.
” What’s your take on it?”
” Take on what? Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t possibly suggest that I should marry that ‘thing’.”
” That’s too strong. He’s a man, not a thing.”
” Agreed! But, I didn’t wait all these years to end up marrying a stark illiterate. I can’t.”
” Why? I’m already picturing him in a 3-piece- suit, refined and raised to a certain level. Ore, the guy no bad o.”
” Please stop it.” I shouted. ” How can you even think of a liason between us. I don’t see it ever working.”
Moyo shrugged. ” Anyway, I suggest that we start praying about it. He might be God’s will for you. Maybe he’s the man you’ve been waiting for all…”
” Please stop it!” I retorted angrily and opened the car forcefully. ” Save your breath. There’s nothing to pray about.”
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟏
For weeks running, I avoided Mrs. Ogunkolade like a plague. She must have sensed that I was avoiding her because she equally gave me space. Once in a while though, she would call to know if I had considered what she spoke to me about. At a time, I almost concluded that she had an hidden agenda aside wanting me to marry and bear children. However, I waved off the thought because it made no sense. Think of it. What would she benefit if I eventually marry Clement? She was neither related to me, nor him. We were not even from the same state. We only met in Church and she took interest in me. She had a good heart, and all she wanted was to help me. However, I needed someone to tell her that I forbid such kind of help.
Life continued. Once in a while, I would meet Clement at Church or in School. He was beginning to dress better than how he used to. The day I saw him wear shirt and tie to church, I almost collapsed in laughter. He looked so uncomfortable that I felt sorry for him. Someone was surely upgrading him. Could it be Mrs. Ogunkolade.
Another day, I saw Clement sit amidst some part time diploma student in school. My school was running a part time continuing educational program and many of the junior staff had been availing themselves of that opportunity to upgrade. Clement must have enrolled in that program. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I saw him in class and ignored him.
On several occasions, I had caught him stealing glances at me in church. I felt he was deliberately sitting at a vantage point to catch glimpses of me. The last time he did that, I glowered at him and he quickly averted his gaze. Afterwards, I mumbled under my breath. ” Nonsense! You better go and look for a wife in your class. Even bush man know better thing.”
I stopped answering Clement’s greetings. His voice was always repulsive to my auditory meatus. He had not come personally to express his interest in me anyway. I guess he was scared of me and what I could do. Mrs. Ogunkolade was his mouth piece, but even she was beginning to draw back due to my disposition.
One day, I and Moyo had arrived at the church in my car. Her car was faulty and her husband wasn’t in town. I had picked her from her house to the church. We met Clement at the gate. He was about to leave the church. He greeted us warmly and Moyo responded in the same vein. I brushed past him and hissed.
” What was that for?” Moyo asked, sprinting after me. ” Abigail, you are behaving like a child.”
” What?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
” Must you be hostile to him? Marry me, I no marry you, no be fight. Has this brother even spoken to you? He hasn’t spoken to you and you are making it look like he has poo-poo all over his body. Apart from his non- sophistication and education level that is far below yours, what other wrong has he done to you?”
I couldn’t give an immediate answer to Moyo. By the next day, I poured my heart to her.
” I’m very sorry about the way I have been acting. I am just so repulsed by the idea of having anything to do with that guy. I can’t see myself liking him, talkless of loving him. I can’t get over the feeling.”
” But that is very wrong.” Moyo said as a matter of fact. ” Let’s separate matters and look at them critically. You don’t have the right to hate anyone because we are all created in the image of God. Every human being is unique and precious in God’s sight, no matter how ugly, or poor or uneducated. You are commiting a great sin by allowing yourself to harbour hatred against him.”
” But I can’t help the feeling.” I cried out.
” That is because you have an idol in your heart.”
” Idol?”
” Pride! Abigail, pride! You think you are better than him because of your educational standard and what you’ve achieved in life. You think you can’t stoop low to have anything to do with someone of his calibre. Abigail, that is pride. You know! When people were beefing you in church and classing themselves because of their marital status and the fact that you are not married, I felt sorry for you. But look at it.” She pointed. ” You are doing the same now. We all have that element of pride in us and it surfaces whenever we have something that others don’t have. That pride has to be throttled to death for us to have favour with God. He despises the proud but gives grace to the humble. Whereas, if we die today, none of our so called life achievements will follow us to the great beyonds. All our certificates, money, other possessions and beauty will remain here. So, what’s the point of being proud? The bible says in the book of 1Cor.4.7 – For who makes you better than anyone else? What did you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it? Why do you boast as though you did not?”
Moyo’s words touched the essence of my being and I cried like a baby. ” God, I’m sorry for my pride and prejudice.” I prayed. ” Please forgive me.”
Moyo took my hands. ” See! I’m not saying you should marry Clement by fire by force. Infact, I have not seen any indication that you are meant to be together. I have been praying for you and hoping that something concrete would happen. My advise for you is to relax, rid your heart of all bias and pray for clarity. Our God is not an author of confusion. You will surely know if you are meant to be together when you seek God with a pure heart. For now, you are acting like a child that needs something from her father but is refusing to take that thing. The father has it and is ready to give you but you are closing your fist. How will you get that gift when your fist is tightly clenched. Stretch forth your hands and receive what God has for you.
EPISODE 12
I was at the ICT complex uploading some exam questions, when my phone rang. Looking at the screen, I shook my head. It was my departmental secretary calling. I frowned as I picked her call. As if she could see my face and know that I wasn’t happy with the call, she said.
” Hello Dr. Abigail. I’m sorry for disturbing you at this time.” Her sweet voice wafting to me dissipated my mounting displeasure.
I always smiled whenever people affix the appellation Dr. to my name. The dream of every academic staff is to obtain a PHD. and officially merit that name. As someone would say, your career as an academia hasn’t started until you get your PHD. Mine would come in a matter of weeks once I do my external defense. I was looking forward to it.
” Yes, Miss Chioma. What can I do for you?” I asked.
” There are some visitors that have been waiting for you for hours. A man and a lady.”
” That can’t be? I just left the complex.”
” They were in the visitors’ reception. My bad. I was too busy to check when you came into the office.”
I sighed in frustration. ” Do you know why they want to see me? I have a lot to do here.”
” I think it has to do with admission. They asked for the departmental admission officer. I told them to wait for you.”
I waved my left hand. ” If it is that, admission has closed. You and I know that we don’t have a say on most of these things. Being an admission officer doesn’t mean that I have power as such. I only work on what is sent to me.”
” Maybe you should come and tell them ma. The man sounded desperate.”
” It’s okay. Tell them to give me an hour.”
An hour and half later, I bounced into my office in a joyful mood. What I went to do at the ICT was accomplished. My exam questions were fully uploaded and waiting for approval. I called Miss Chioma to
send the visitors to my office. Five minutes later, my door opened and a middle- aged- man entered, followed by a woman.
I froze.They equally opened their eyes wide in recognition.
Old memories flooded back into my brain. I breathed deeply and cleared my throat. I had to struggle to steady my voice.
” What a beautiful surprise.” I said. ” When I was told that some people are looking for me, I never knew it could be you people. Did you by any chance know that I am the one here?”
” Not at all.” Bro Segun, my old crush replied. He looked better than I knew. Twenty years ago, he was handsome. Now, age had made him more handsome. He also sounded confident. I couldn’t help but feel butterflies in my stomach. Old flames never really die.
” Sister Abigail, so you are the admission officer that we’ve been waiting for.” Ronke, his wife said. ” That means our journey will be fruitful.”
” That depends on what you want.” I said with a note of authority and pride in my voice. Suddenly, I wanted Ronke to feel that I was somebody and I commanded influence in the University.
Bro Segun shifted forward. ” Actually, we’ve been away from the country for a long time. We just returned about a year ago. Our first son wrote Jamb and picked medicine and this University as his first choice. Though he did well and scored above 300 in Jamb, he wasn’t picked for reasons I don’t know. I have gone to the faculty of medical sciences but I was told point blank that there’s no way. Too many people had higher scores and it’s a survival of the fittest. Someone advised me to come here and see if he could be given biochemistry, pending when he would write another Jamb. He’s insisting on doing medicine but I don’t want him hanging idle for one year.”
” Why don’t you send him to one of the private Universities around?”
” I prefer this old system. This is our alma mata. We know the value we got from here. I want my kids to get same value.”
” Those are the good old days Bro Segun. Things have changed.”
” The good old days.” He whispered. ” When men were boys.”
” And when women were girls.” I said with a dreamy look in my eyes. Ronke coughed slightly. She brought me down from the cloud. ” Is there any help you can render to us?”
” Sure.” I said with a sense of pride. Once again, I wanted to show off to Ronke. She might have gotten a son that is old enough to be in the University, but I have also built an enviable career for myself. I wasn’t a push over by any standard, and she has to know.
” Yes! I can do something.” I said, looking at her directly in the face.
They both sighed in relief.
” The supplementary list is yet to come out. I happen to be part of the admission committee and I can make a case for your boy at our next meeting. I will present him as my candidate. Who knows? He might even be given his desired course instead of biochemistry.”
” God bless you sister Abigail.” Bro Segun said. ” We will forever be grateful to you if he gets this admission.”
” He will get it. I promise you.”
” Thank God that is settled.” Ronke said, adjusting in her seat. ” Sister Abigail, how is life? How is family?” She asked, looking at me pointedly. “The last time I heard of you, when I met one of our mates in London, I was told that you weren’t married. That was 5 years ago. I know your status must have changed by now.”
I felt tear build behind my eyes. No! I refused to be humiliated. Imagine Ronke sitting before me and reminding me of not being married. It wasn’t her fault anyway. The seed of sin she sowed with Bro. Segun back then germinated and is about to enter the University. Why won’t she mock me? What audacity?
Without thinking, I said the first words that came to my mouth.
” The person that said that must have gotten a wrong info about me . I have been married for quite a while. I am happily married.”
” Wow!” Ronke exclaimed in surprise. ” I thought as much. Is your husband also an academician.”
” Errrr, he’s a businessman.” I said quickly.
” That’s good. We will like to know him. Come to think of it, we’ve not really made friends as such since we returned to the country. It will be a good thing to be friends with your family.”
” That’s cool.” I said. I had started sweating under the AC. Which kin wahala be this?
” Darling.” Ronke called, turning to her husband. ” We can invite Sister Abigail and her husband to the commissioning of our second hospital. What other way to show appreciation for the great help she’s rendering to us. We can even make her a member of the board of trustees.”
” Not so fast.” I said. I felt like crying and was relieved when Segun and Ronke finally left.
What have I done? I asked myself. What devil entered me that made me tell them that I was married. They had taken my number and other details, and were already thinking of making me a board member in their hospital. I wondered if Ronke had said that on purpose. Maybe she saw through my lie and knew that I wasn’t married afterall. Maybe she knew my history and was only pulling my legs to see how I would react.
Still pushed by the force that made me misyarn to Ronke, I picked my car key and made for the school gate.
Clement was at the gate. He wasn’t dressed in his security uniform but in an oversized track suit. I beckoned on him.
” Are you free.” I asked when he got to me.
” Yes.” He nodded. ” I am not on duty. I come to see my Oga.”
” I came to see my Oga.” I corrected him.
He looked embarrassed and turned his eyes away.
” Get into the car. We need to talk.” I said.
I moved the car.
” When can you be ready for marriage?” I asked him.
” Hen?”
” Didn’t you hear what I said. Shebi you want to marry me. Now I have brought myself to you.”
” Me I don’t have money for marriage o.” Clement said like a small kid. His response irritated me.
” We will have a small ceremony. Very few family members. No noise. We can arrange that in two weeks.”
Clement shrugged. ” It is okay. Once I won’t be asked to give any money. I don’t have money.”
” And by the way, you have to quit your job. I will set you up in business. Is that okay?”
” It is a contract job. No wahala.”
My head kept running round the crazy step I was taking. What came over me? One minute I couldn’t stand Clement, and the next instance, I was planning a wedding with him. What has gotten into me?
With Shaky hands, I picked my phone in order to call Moyo. Moyo could bring me back to reality. She was the only one that could do that.
Just as I was about to dial her number, Mrs. OgunKolade’s call came in. I picked. She sounded excited. ” I’m happy for you. Clement just texted to tell me the good news.”
I looked at him wickedly. He quickly averted his gaze.
“Please come home straight away. We will go see the Pastor together. There’s no time to waste.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟑
Moyo was the first visitor at my house by the following morning. I had earlier sent a text to her asking her to see me urgently. I needed to let her in on my plans. Yes! I would be getting married in two weeks time. Just like that? Someone would say. That is unbelievable!
I pitied myself as I, Clement and Mrs. Ogunkolade sat before our church pastor. Mrs. Ogunkolade and Reverend did most of the talking. I and Clement sat next to each other, Mrs. Ogunkolade was to my right and by the wall. Throughout our stay in the office, I ensured that there was enough space between me and Clement. I couldn’t imagine our bodies touching. Then why are you getting married to him when you can’t endure his touch? I asked myself.
I don’t know! I screamed silently and held firmly to the table. Clement stole a glance at me. There was a fierce battle going on within me and I wanted to win. I wanted to shut everyone out and do my own will. I needed to satisfy myself.
When Segun and Ronke visited the day before, Ronke woke up something in me. That thing had laid dormant for years; the tendency to act impulsively when under pressure. So what’s the pressure?
The society can push you if you allow it. They want you to act in a particular way. They set goals and target for you. They mock you if you don’t make the mark.
Ronke wanted to know if I was married. She would know. I will present Clement to her and Segun. I will polish him. I will make him the kind of man I can be proud of. I and Clement will fulfil the essence of marriage. I will accept him. We will become companions. We will mate and have children.
I was repulsed at that last part. Couldn’t imagine Clement claiming my virginity. But if I would have children, I would have to allow him have his way. Only for procreation.
I might sought for transfer to another school in another state. We could start afresh. We could go to a place that few people knew us and our past.
Reverend’s voice jolted me back to the present.
He looked at me pointedly. I wondered what was going on in his head. Maybe he was thinking that this sister must be really crazy. How do you get married to a man without courting? That was what I was doing, planning to get married to a total stranger.
” Sis Abigail! When do you plan for the wedding to hold?”
Did I hear him right? Did he say wedding?
I turned to look at Clement. He shrugged and dropped his eyes.
I whispered. ” We are thinking of two weeks Sir.”
Clement nodded.
Mrs. Ogunkolade smiled.
He who pays the piper dictates the tone. Clement left me to answer to all the queries from the pastor. At least, he should have said something to make it look like we were in it together. I heard myself saying.
” We don’t want something elaborate. Just few family members will do. We will go to the court and return here for blessings. We will have a small reception at Mummy’s place.”
” Yes!” Mrs. Ogunkolade nodded. ” That’s perfect.”
And that was it. Reverend was okay with our plan. He wasn’t keen on knowing how long we had been courting or how much we knew about each other. He said we would have two days of premarital counseling. He must have felt that I was too old and shouldn’t be rigorously drilled.
As we left his office, the realization of what I had done dawned on me. Looking at Clement, I shook my head. I was getting married to a man that I barely knew.
He told me that he’s from Igala tribe in Kogi state. He said that his parents were late. I had a WhatsApp call with his brother. They shared a striking resemblance. Clement said it was just the two of them from their parents.
As we got to my car, I asked Clement if he could drive.
” Yes!” He replied. ” I use to drove…”
” Drive.” I corrected him.
Clement drove me home. As he sat in my living room, I watched him. We had little to say to each other. I felt awkward knowing that he would soon become a major part of my life.
Mrs Ogunkolade’s words came back to me.
He will pump your belly with babies! It is money that brings out the handsomeness in men!
Couldn’t imagine Clement having a go at me. It would only be for making babies, I consoled myself. At least, I wouldn’t need to fornicate to have children, as suggested by my mum.
—-
Moyo could be quiet dramatic. When she rushed to my house by the next morning, she grabbed me and placed the back of her palm on my forehead, after I told her of our plan.
I pushed her hand off. ” Wetin? kilode?” I asked in an irritated voice.
” I’m checking if your temperature is normal. When last did you treat malaria?”
” Why are you asking that? Do I look ill?”
” What you just said.”
” What about It? Is it a crime that I’m planning to get married. I thought you were happy about…”
She moved closer to me and asked. ” Are you for real? Are you serious?”
” Of course! Am I not old enough to make decisions?”
” It’s not that. It’s too sudden. I thought you said that you don’t want anything to do with Clement. What made you change your mind? Have you prayed about it?”
” I have been praying all these years. I know what I’m doing.”
” No you don’t.” Moyo moved to stand before me with her arms akimbo and repeated. ” You are acting strange.”
I stood face to face with her. ” I sure know what I’m doing.” I said in a stern voice. “You stand there to tell me that I don’t know what I’m doing. Have you ever been in my kind of shoe? Have you ever struggled to get something in life and that thing keeps eluding you? You got married before age 30, to the best man that any lady could wish for. You have wonderful kids. I am far older than you, but your first daughter is already in secondary school. I don’t blame you. You are one of God’s favourites. Now look! I have made my decision and there’s no going back. I also want to get married like every other person. I am tired of people asking me if I was married. Few days ago, Segun and Ronke were at my office to seek for help for their son’s admission. Ronke told me to my face that someone said that I wasn’t married.”
Moyo screamed. ” I said it! Something must have triggered this decision.” She passed an arm round my shoulder. ” Look ore, there’s no competition in Life. Life is in phases and your time will come. Marriage is not always about how early but how right. It is better to marry late and have peace of mind, than to marry anyhow and live in regret for the rest of one’s life. You haven’t waited all this years to end up in a wrong hand. Have you?”
” I thought you said Clement is okay.”
” Humanly speaking, yes! But you need to have a confirmation from God before getting married to him.”
” I’m sure and I know what I’m doing. I don’t expect much anyway. I’m almost past my prime and wouldn’t need a lovey dovy kind of relationship. We will get married and have kids. Nothing more, nothing less.”
I guessed Moyo wasn’t happy at the end of the day. But then,it is my life. I owed no one any explanation.
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 14
I called my parents to tell them that I was getting married. I pictured mama dancing around the room in excitement. Baba’s voice sounded faint as he blessed me through the phone. Mama’s was loud. She asked breathlessly. ” Who is the man and where is he from?”
I sighed deeply. “His name is Clement and he’s from Kogi state.”
” Awon Kabba niyen.” My mum said.
” No! He’s Igala by tribe.”
” Iyen nan da. Is he single? Has he ever been married?”
” No mama.” I proudly said. ” He’s single. He has never been married.”
” Thank God. Oluwaseun.”
” So I’m thinking that you and Baba Kekere could come for the wedding. Because of Baba’s health, he might not be able to cope with the journey.”
” Duroooo!” Mama said. ” What did you mean by me and Baba Kekere coming for the wedding? Will the wedding not hold in the village? All your sisters had their weddings here. It is a tradition that musn’t be broken.”
” Mama! I will break this one.” I said in a firm tone. “I will not have the wedding in the village. There’s no problem if you can’t come to Ibadan. All that is important is that I have told you and Baba has blessed me.”
” O ti ya binu niyen. Have you gotten angry already? God forbid. Eni Eleni oni gbase min se. No one will replace me on my day of joy. Hen? Abige is getting married and I will not be there. Ko joo. Right away, I will go and tell the good women leader at the church so that she can start making arrangement for aso ebi.”
” Rara o mama.” I objected. ” If you bring any village witch to Ibadan, I will not allow you to enter my house. I only want you and Baba Kekere. The wedding will be a small affair.”
I heard dissapointment in my mother’s voice as she replied. ” People will think that you married an imbecile or handicap if you do a small wedding. Abige please now. At least, allow us to bring one bus.”
” Let them think whatever they want to think. I have told you my mind. You can organize whatever you want in the village. But here in Ibadan, I want to see only you and Baba Kekere.”
—–
I thought one should be excited when planning your own wedding.I remembered when Fili was about to marry, how she was always on cloud 9. How she would stand transfixed to a spot starring into space with a dreamy look in her eyes. You needed no one to tell you that she was excited and expectant.
For me, there wasn’t much excitement. No racing heartbeat. No butterflies in the stomach. Practically, I had no feelings for Clement. Instead of excitement, there was a deep hollowness. I concluded that it was because of the suddeness of the whole thing.
On the day that our ban of marriage was read, the whole church was suprised and they clapped to no end. In one week, Clement had transformed into an Adonis. He had the right clothes, right shoes, clean hair cut and well trimmed beards. He even had the right cologne. Clement looked catchy. He must have been too proud standing beside me in front of the congregation. His smile said it all.
As I moved to my car after the service, I heard two women whisper to each other that Clement had hit a jack pot. It was quiet glaring that I was the one behind his new look and that I was sponsoring the wedding. Well, where would a common security man had gotten the money for all the expensive things he was now using?
Clement would soon take over the management of my business center after the wedding. It’s a large place and situated at a vantage point in the metropolis.With that, he would not need to continue doing the security job.
I could read it in Clement’s eyes that he was super excited about his life that had changed overnight. I felt he was more interested in what I was doing for him than in me. That was a passing thought anyway.
The relationship between me and Moyo became strained. I saw her struggling to flow with the tide and be happy for me. However, beyond her facade, I saw fear, doubt and pent up emotions. She was just waiting for the right time to burst.
On the eve of my wedding, when my bride price had been handed over to Baba Kekere by Clement’s brother in a small parlour ceremony, Moyo drew me to a corner.
” We need to talk.” She said. She seemed agitated.
I smiled at her. ” Have you finished getting angry with me?”
” Why would I?” She answered in a shaky voice.
We had agreed that she would spend the night at my house. My mum, Baba Kekere and her entourage were lodged at an hotel. Despite my warning, my stubborn mother made sure she came with 5 friends. She insisted that she wanted them to know that I wasn’t holding a secret wedding or marrying a leper.
As we began to talk, I sensed fear in Moyo’s voice. Tears ran down her face as she narrated a dream that she had to me.
” Now, I know for sure that we need to pray more before the wedding.” She said.
” Why didn’t you tell me this before now?”
” Because you wouldn’t listen to me earlier on. You kept pushing me away. More so, I had the dream last night.”
Standing and opening my arms wide, I asked. ” What do you suggest?”
” Maybe we should have prayed more. I am having a bad feeling about this whole thing.”
I smiled and held her by the shoulder. ” Relax! Your dream might actually mean nothing. My bride price has been paid. There’s no going back.”
” You have not been joined.” Moyo cried. ” A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.”
” Don’t be ridiculous. Who says that I’m going to have a broken marriage?” If unbelievers could be getting married without knowing the will of God and sustaining their marriages, I can do the same. I am a believer. Clement is one as well. We will not have problem.”
” It goes beyond being a believer. I sense danger ahead. I clearly saw it. Look! Let’s just postpone the wedding by a week and pray and fast. Nothing more.”
” Moyo! there’s no going back.” I insisted. ” You want the name that people are calling me to stick to me forever? Do you know what it will mean if we postpone or cancel this wedding? My mum will never forgive me. More so, I’m beginning to have small feeling for Clement. It is a good sign for me.”
——
Moyo snored softly as she lay beside me on the bed. I Imagined how it would be by the next night, after my wedding. It would be Clement sleeping beside me and not Moyo.Would he be bold enough to claim his marital right tomorrow? How would we react to each other?
Despite my theory of mating for only procreation, I was kind of anticipating what would happen tomorrow. Maybe my love for Clement would begin from there.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 15
Even though I had tried to make my wedding as discreet as possible, somehow, the news filtered out . My students poured in to congratulate me. Lecturers and other staff did likewise. Several church people thronged to my house to share in my joy, our joy. They joked that we had denied them having the usual wedding jollof rice. Moyo quickly arranged with a caterer to supply emergency food..
If the students were suprised that I had married the man that usually stayed at the school gate, they didn’t show it. I knew they would be giggling amongst themselves. I cared less. After the initial rejection, I was ready to accept Clement with my two arms open wide.
Clement was hardly recognizable. There was a new kind of confidence that I noticed in him. It started the moment we were pronounced man and wife. He could now look at me directly in the eyes. Even his tone of voice had changed.
He was still speaking his scatter-scatter English, but now with boldness, not caring what I would say. And surprisingly, I was finding it more difficult to correct him. I cringed at every statement that he made before our guests. I wished he could just shut up and stop talking. I was relieved when everyone left. Moyo also departed after wishing us well.
Clement balanced confidently in the living room. I sat in the bedroom, thinking about how everything had gone. Despite the brevity of the wedding ceremony, we were both tired yesterday and had retired to bed without saying anything to each other. Today, I was ready to rush to the bathroom, have my bath and hide under the duvet. I didn’t think I was ready for my new husband. We were still like strangers. That connection had not developed. I had two weeks off work. Those days we would spend at home, getting to know each other and bonding.
I was almost drifting into sleep when Clement’s voice jolted me back. I jerked up. Clement had called my name loudly. Did I hear him right? He called me Abigail. Where did the sister go? But the way he called that name. I pretended as if I didn’t hear him. I could hear his footsteps approaching the bedroom. I dropped on my back and shut my eyes as he entered.
” I call you. You no hear me?” That was Clement talking.
Shit! I wished we understood each other’s native language. Clement’s English was driving me crazy.
” What do you want?” I asked.
” Night food.” Clement replied.
” You mean dinner?”
” What is dinner? I want night food.”
Standing up, I faced him. ” Dinner is the meal you take in the evening. I think we can make do with the left overs from the food we ordered for the guests. I can microwave it if you want.”
Clement shook his head like a small child. ” I want fresh food. Hot, fresh food.”
” Jesus!” I screamed within me. Who does this man think he is? Hot, fresh food at this time of the night?
No! I won’t get angry on my second night of marriage. I have to handle this wisely. Clement said he wanted hot and fresh food, I will make it for him.
I am not a foody. Left to me, I can stay for days without cooking anything. Moreover, I am a selective eater.
” Do you mind indomie and egg?” I asked Clement.
” No! I want swallow.”
” At this time?” I asked and pointed to the wall clock. It is almost 9.”
” You are my wife. You will do what I say.”
His words hit me like a big blow to the chest. Indeed! I had become Clement’s wife. Despite his crudeness and unsophistication, I had become his wife.
” I dey parlor.” He said and turned. ” Bring the food when it is ready.”
I moved to the kitchen like a zombie, thinking about how my new husband wanted fresh and hot solid food. To make matters worse, I had no soup in the fridge. Therefore, I had to go through the long process of making semo and draw soup at 9 in the night.
In the middle of what I was doing, I heard Clement shout for me again.
” Abigail! Please come and change the TV channel for me.”
I ignored him and continued with what I was doing. Done at last, I took the food to the living room and served him. His eyes lighted up at the sight of the food. I was irritated.
” You will not eat?” He asked as he rolled a big lump of semo into a ball.
I snapped. ” I’m not hungry.”
” You better eat o.” He said in a funny way. I did not read meaning into what he said until much later. I would need all the strength I could muster for the job ahead. Clement dealt with me that night.
My husband ate like a hungry wolf. The sound of his mouth was disgusting. I wanted to stand up and smash the plate of semo on his head. When I couldn’t stand him any longer, I stood up and made for the bedroom. He would leave the plates that he used to eat on the dinning table for me to pack.
About 30 minutes later, Clement settled heavily beside me on the bed. His beard and shirt front were stained with okra soup. I turned away from him. I couldn’t stand him at that moment.
” Let us pray.” He said.
” Won’t you freshen up and change into a night wear?” I asked him. I couldn’t hide my irritation.
Clement ignored what I said and insisted that we pray. And afterwards, he dragged me to himself and began business.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟔
©Bosede Fagbemi
A week after my wedding and I was already feeling like an old house wife. I realized that I had only been bluffing when I told Moyo that I wasn’t expecting much from the marriage. In as much as I was now married, I wanted warmth from my husband. I wanted to feel loved. I wanted my heart raising at the sighting of my husband.
None of that was happening. Clement was only enjoying playing the role of a husband in his own old fashioned way. I as a modern woman, I had a different perspective of how men should treat their wives. To avoid us clashing, I allowed him do whatever he liked. One week, and I was already getting to my elastic limit. I might eventually snap.
It was a great relieve when Moyo visited a week after our wedding. I was so happy that I hugged her tightly. I needed all the comfort she could give me. I needed to draw from her strength as well. Surprisingly, I found it difficult to directly talk about what had been happening in my home. What if she gloat over the fact that she had told me to shift the wedding? Moyo wouldn’t do that anyway, but I couldn’t directly open up to her.. Instead, I asked her a pertinent question. We might delve into other matters in the course of our discussion.
” What was your wedding night like?” I said while avoiding looking at her directly in the eyes.
She looked at me in a funny kind of way and bursted into laughter. The tension between us had totally fizzled out. Whereas, I was now married for good. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Even if I had made a mistake, I would have to.live with it for the rest of my life.
” My friend has tasted the juicy fruit o.” Moyo danced to an imaginary musician. She moved closer to me and whispered. ” How was it like”
” What?” I pretended as if I didn’t get her meaning.
” What is what?” She smiled. ” I asked a simple question. How was your first time?”
” I asked you first. Talk now.” I pleaded.
We were speaking in low tones. Clement was in the room napping.
” Well.” Moyo looked into the distance with a dreamy look in her eyes. She said. ” My wedding night was both bitter and sweet.”
” How do you mean?” I probed.
” I was inexperienced when I got married. I had never been with a man. Dele on the other hand had been with several ladies before changing his ways. He knew what to do. I thought I knew as well. I had read several books to prepare myself for that night. When the real thing started, I wanted to run away. It was painful and the first question in my mind was, is this what I will be facing for the rest of my life?”
” Same thought that I had.” I said.
” However,” Moyo continued. “Dele was patient and gentle with me. He made the pain of that night become a sweet memory that I will forever cherish.”
” Tell me more.”
” He was very considerate, knowing that it was my first time. He appreciated the beautiful gift that I gave to him. He was not just concerned about his own satisfaction but mine as well. He wanted me to feel loved and wanted. Instead of feeling bad about the pain associated with being deflowered, I developed a deeper love for my husband. I made a promise that night that I will always do my best to satisfy my husband sexually. And for him, he will always remember that i kept myself for him. Dele has never stopped referring to that even till date.”
” I have always known that your husband is an angel. He’s a rare breed as well.Clement’s action was a direct opposite of your husband’s. Clement took and took and took. He kept using me as if there was no tomorrow. I thought that I was going to die. He acted like a man that had been in the desert for years without a woman. It has continued like that since the second day of our wedding. God! I feel used. If you ask me, I will tell you that I don’t want to have sex again, for the rest of my life.”
Moyo looked at me critically. She said. ” Ko Le toyen now. It is not proper for you to use my husband as a yardstick to judge yours. However, let Clement know that you also have needs as a woman. It will be selfish of him to continue to satisfy himself and leaving you in a limbo. Talk to him.”
” There’s another thing…” I began to say when I heard my phone ringing and Clement calling me to come, pick my phone. ” So you are awake.” I said as I entered the room. ” Moyo is around.”
Either Clement heard that Moyo was in the house or not, he did not react or come out to greet her. I felt bad and made excuses for him.
The call that I got was from Festus, my student. He wanted to drop the last chapter of his project with me. I instructed him to come to the house. By the time he came, Moyo had left. I sat talking with Festus for a while in the living room before he also left.
As soon as he stepped out, Clement bounced in, asking about the male visitor that just left.
” That was one of my students.” I replied. ” He was here to drop the last chapter of his project.”
” That is how you bring men into the house before we marry?”
” Do you have any problem with that?”
” E no right for men to visit you. If a man will visit you, you must tell me. I don hear plenty story about woman lecturers that dey sleep with their students.”
What?
. I wanted to scream the whole house down. Who did this man think he is?What audacity, and what an idiotic and moronic way of thinking? I stood transfixed to a spot and watched as Clement balanced on the sofa with his legs stretched forward. I was beginning to think that it would be a difficult task to be submissive to him.
What’s your advise for me?
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟕
©Bosede Fagbemi
Despite all the unwelcoming attitudes that I noticed in my husband right from the day one of our marriage, I couldn’t deny that he had some admirable qualities, even though his bad side seemed to override the good one. In most instances, we prefer to focus on the negativity in people that we overlook their good side, no matter how little.
I wished I could hang onto the good attributes of Clement. I wondered if that alone would see us through our marital journey. Would it be enough to cover his overbearing attitude and insensitivity?
Barely few days after our joining, I discovered that Clement was a praying machine. Give it to him, he could pray and move mountains. I had a fleeting thought that maybe he had prayed our marriage into existence.
Clement would not only pray for an hour but go on and on. He practically prayed for everyone and everything. Most nights, I would lay awake and watch him agonize in prayer. At first, I admired him for his ceaseless prayers. Then, I began to see it as becoming too much. Agreed that prayers can’t be too much, cos the bible admonished us to pray without ceasing. But then, it becomes a problem when our mode of prayer starts affecting us and others negatively. Not because it is bad to pray, but because we aren’t doing it right.
In as much as I was happy that I had someone that cherished prayers, his methodology began to irritate me. On the nights that he chooses to pray, Clement would start by 12 midnight till 6:00 hour. Most times, I would lay awake and watch him sweat and groan. Not for once did I feel led to join him. I loved the prayers but hated the disturbance. On two occasions, I had angrily picked my pillow and left the bedroom for Clement. By the next morning, Clement had looked at me suspiciously. He must have thought that I was a witch and that his prayers were disturbing me.
Whenever Clement prayed at night, he would extend it till dawn then sleep till noon. I wasn’t bothered about that when we were still on honey moon in quote. Whereas, on the days that he woke up early, he had never lifted a hand to help with household chores.I would cook, wash, clean, do the laundry and ironing and every other thing. I slaved for Clement in our early days of marriage.
After I resumed work and Clement took over the management of our business center, the prayer thing began to pose a problem.
I would leave the house early enough to catch up with morning lectures and other activities. Clement would sleep till noon before going to the business center whenever he liked. I wondered if that was his usual attitude when he was still doing the security job. No! It couldn’t be. He was just being lazy and taking advantage of the situation. I needed to call him to order and I did.
One evening, I sat him down for a heart-to-heart talk.
” Hmmm.'” I started. The hmmmm, stood for his name. Though he had found it easy calling me by my name, till then, I had not decided on what to be calling him; Bro Clement, Clement, babe, sweetheart, whatever.
” We need to talk.” I said.
” For wetin?” He asked, frowning.
” I don’t like the way you’ve been going to the shop late.”
” But you know I dey pray on most days till morning.”
” Was that your attitude when you were doing the security job? Going to resume late.”
” No! But other staff are there that will open shop now.”
” It is not the same o. They can’t handle the business the way we will handle it. ‘This is my thing,’ is quite different from ‘this is their thing’. You have to be there to monitor and direct them. We cannot depend too much on our employees. I expect changes, now that you are the MANAGER.”
I had called Clement MANAGER before realizing what I said, but I was glad that I said it because I noticed a sudden change in his countenance. He adjusted on the sofa and squared his shoulder. There and then, I realized something. Like most other men, Clement would function well if I continue to feed his ego. By calling him MANAGER, I had boosted his morale. He was ready to listen to me. I realized that I could always use that to my advantage.
Anyways, Clement agreed to make adjustments. He promised to always be at the business center early enough, six days a week.
That done, I stood and told him that I would travel to Akure by the next day.
” Akure! For wetin?” He asked.
” I will be going for the external defense of my thesis.”
” Thesis?” He asked, wrinkling his nose.
I breathed in deeply, glad that we were at least communicating. Maybe everything will be okay after all.
” For you to become an academic doctor, you have to carry out a research work in a choosen field. I have done that. I’m running my PHD program in FUTA. That is where my external defense will hold.”
Clement nodded. ” Okay! Now I understand.”
” I have been on the program for 7 years.” I added.
” Hen? Why?”
” My supervisor gave me too much problem. I thank God it is ending now. With my PHD, I will be promoted to the position of a senior lecturer. I have been long overdue for it. I will be going with Moyo.”
” Your friend?”
” Yes! My supervisor has agreed that she could stay as an observer and watch me defend my work.”
I left the living room and headed for the bedroom. Almost entering the bedroom, Clement called and I turned.
” Thank you Abigail.” He said.
Our eyes locked. I felt a lump in my throat. I couldn’t find my voice but nodded. For the first time in my marriage, I felt happy with my husband. That ‘thank you’ alone was enough to keep me happy for many days. Clement had spoken one of my love languages; appreciation.
I didn’t know what he was thanking me for, maybe it was only because I referred to him as a MANAGER, or for any other reason. Whatever, that night, I dared to renew my hope for marital bliss.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟖
©Bosede Fagbemi
” Doctor to be.” Moyo hailed me as I approached her car. We were about to start the journey to Akure. I had left my own car for Clement’s use.
” Congratulations are in order.” She said.
” You can say that again.” I responded. “At last, I am getting off the grip of Professor Nwabara. Haaa! That man showed me pepper.”
” I can’t just begin to imagine how wicked some people could be.”
” That man is wicked and tough. He brought many obstacles my way. You remember when I wanted to drop the program and start all over in another school.
” Thank God you persevered. Who knows what you would have encountered if you had gone to another school?”
” Prof. gave me unnecessary delay just because I wouldn’t give in to his s@xual advances.”
” Imagine.” Moyo said, beating her palms together. ” We hear the story of them doing it to undergraduates, which is bad in it’s entirety, and to a postgraduate student and a colleague? it is unheard of. I wish you had reported him.”
” Prof. believed that a student is a student, either undergraduate or postgraduate. And to report him? He behaves as if he’s above the law. Maybe, because he’s a powerful force in the academic world. You know what? I don’t know what men really want. If you see his wife hen? She’s a definition of beauty and brain. She’s also a lecturer in his department.”
” Imagine. Maybe she was once his student. Who knows?”
” I once heard the gist of how she caught him sleeping with a student in his office.”
” Jeeesuu!” Moyo screamed. “Some men are shameless. He should have respected himself, knowing that his wife is working close to him.”
“Shame ke? Prof. Nwabara was not at home, the day shame was being sold. Looking at the matter from another angle, though I don’t support what some male lecturers do to students, many females students are not also helping matters.”
” You are right. They deliberately throw themselves at lecturers with reckless abandon. Many of them entice them with the way they dress and act. They behave as if they don’t know that those lecturers are flesh and blood and that their level of self control differs. I’ve had the reason to send several female students out of my class in the past because of indecent dressing. If I as a woman couldn’t condone their dressing, I wonder how a male colleague would have reacted. And if he’s someone that is easily taken with everything in skirt, he would make advances at them, and they would start crying foul; sexual harassment. Who is to be blame?”
” Dr. Yusuf once gisted me of how a female student sat at the front seat in his class, wearing a micro mini skirt. She sat in such a way that her laps were recklessly open, so he could see everything under her.” I moved closer to Moyo and whispered into her ears. ” She was bare.”
” Imagine!”
” Dr. Yusuf said he screamed for her to move to the back of the class with tremendous acceleration.”
” Alakoba. Daughter of Jezebel.”
” Our male colleagues are handling a lot.”
” And the loose ones are having a field day. It’s a crazy world.”
——
My defense started well and was going smoothly until my phone rang and I became destabilized. How could I have forgotten? Moyo had repeatedly warned that I should either switch off my phone or put it on silent mode. It was disrespectful that my phone had to ring in the middle of a major defense. The ring tone was another thing. Embarrassed, I struggled to switch it off and shut my eyes in readiness for a callous reprimand from Prof. Instead of what I had expected, I heard him apologize on my behalf. Taking a deep breath, I thanked God.
The defense ended well. Corrections were made. It would be over once I effect the corrections. For now, I was off the hook. External defense done and dusted.
I and Moyo hugged the moment we left the venue.
” Who was that person that called and wanted to spoil your show?” She asked.
” It was Clement o, and I remember that I told him that he shouldn’t call until evening, that I would be on the hot seat morning/afternoon. Thank God that Prof. woke up on the right side of the bed today. If not? I can’t just imagine what he would have said or done.”
” Maybe he needed something from you.”
” What was that thing that couldn’t wait? That call would have spoilt everything for me.”
” You have your fault too. You were supposed to have your phone on silent mode. Anyway, We thank God that everything went well. Now, Calm down and call him back.”
I grabbed my phone and dialled Clement’s number several times. The call wasn’t picked.”
Turning to Moyo, I said. ” He’s not picking.”
” Maybe he’s busy. Keep trying him.”
Several tries later and Clement wasn’t still picking. Moyo suggested that we use her phone to call him. ” He’s probably angry that you didn’t pick his call the other time.” She said.
” But I told him.”
” Calm down. He has picked my call. Hello sir. Good evening. Your wife has been calling but you are not picking. Hello…hello.”
” What?”
” He cut the call, or maybe it’s the network. Let me try him back.”
Moyo tried him back. She gave up after Clement refused to pick after several calls.
” Let me use my other number.” She said.
” No!” I grabbed her wrist. ” Don’t bother. He’s not going to pick. Clement is like that. He’s bull headed and paranoid about me having affair with every male that I relate with. I don’t know why and how he developed that notion. He probably thinks that I didn’t pick his call because I was having a good time with a man. And to think that I left him in a good mood. I thought that we are getting somewhere. A leopard can never change its skin.”
” That’s serious. It’s too early in your marriage for that but then, I will like you to put yourself in his shoes. You are the educated one. You are the one with money. You move with people of caliber, so to say. Clement might be feeling inferior and insecure, hence the desire to alienate you from other people. He’s still having the feeling that he’s not good enough for you. I can bet you that his overbearing attitude is just a facade, from within, he’s as insecure as a frightened rabbit. He will need every help he can get from you. You have to prove to him that he has no need to doubt your commitment and faithfulness to him. Also, show him that you are proud of him, if not, you won’t be married to him.”
” But he met me a virgin. That should have proven a point that I’m not promiscuous.”
” It doesn’t count with some men.”
” Arrrrrgh.” I shrieked. “Anyways, I will not allow Clement spoil my good mood. We will sort it out when I get back home. For now, since it is late and we can’t embark on our return journey until tomorrow, I suggest that we look for a very good eatery and treat ourselves to a nice and sumptuous meal. Bill is on me. Then, we return to our hotel room and continue to gist.”
” I like the eating part most.” Moyo said. ” Right now, there’s nothing I want more than a plate of well prepared Amala with abula and ogunfe.”
” Say no more. I know just the right place for that.”
—–
I met Clement in a very foul mood on my arrival by the next day. When I greeted him, he refused to respond and blatantly ignored me. He refused to touch his dinner as well. We slept with our backs turned to each other. In the middle of the night, Clement tapped me awake and asked. ” Why you no answer my call when I call you yesterday?”
” I told you that I would be at my external defense. You don’t expect me to be picking calls in front of my supervisor, other Profs and Doctors, as well as other observers.”
” Why not? Dem be God?”
” I know you will not understand and I don’t know how to make you understand. I am tired and want to continue sleeping. Clement please, let’s just leave this till morning.”
” I know you are doing bad thing, that’s why you no pick my call. You even switch off your phone.” Clement said loudly.
” My God! How do I convince you that I don’t go around sleeping with men. You should know better. You know how you met me.”
Clement turned his head away. He flinched when I touched him. ” Clement please.” I begged. ” Let’s make this marriage work. We shouldn’t be quarrelling all the time. I’m a good woman.”
Looking at me squarely, he picked a bible and pointed it at me. ” Why you switch off your phone yesterday? You can swear that you are not doing bad thing?”
” Has it gotten to this?” I asked in an irritated tone and stood up. “You can believe whatever you want to believe Clement. However, I advise you to deal with your insecurity because it is not helping this relationship. I cannot continue to placate you like a child with temper tantrum whenever you come up with this your odd attitude. You have to work on yourself. One day you are hot and the next day you are cold. It is frustrating. I’m trying to be a good wife but you are not helping matter.”
I guessed Clement didn’t comprehend half of what I said but I just needed to vent. In response to my long speech, Clement shrugged and pointed at me.
” …and that your friend, I no like her at all. She’s teaching you bad things. I don’t want to see you and her together again.”
” Hold it there.” I screamed, raising a hand. ” Don’t even go there.”
Angrily, I picked a pillow and walked out on him.
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟏𝟗
© BOSEDE FAGBEMI
Becoming friend with Moyo was one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life. I have never regretted it. So when Clement insisted that I end our relationship, I knew tnat what he wanted was a tall dream that would not see the light of the day.
He repeatedly hammered on how Moyo was spoiling me, and threatened to bring down the heaven if I don’t obey him.
At first, like a good wife, I pleaded with him to see reasons why I couldn’t severe ties with Moyo. She’d been a great support to me over the years. She’d seen me at my highest and lowest. We’d cried and laughed together. I could tell her anything without the fear of her divulging it to anyone, not even her husband. In Moyo, the bible verse- ‘there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother is affirmed. Why on earth did Clement want to take this precious gift from me?
I sat him down and explained to him that I and Moyo had come a long way. Moyo was closer to me than any of my siblings. We became friends when we both started work as graduate assistants. We had been together all these years. Moyo had become an essential part of my life; like a vital body organ that I couldn’t do without.
I got to understand that Clement was jealous of the relationship between I and Moyo. He wanted me all alone to himself. Isn’t that over- possessiveness? He behaved as if I shouldn’t be close to any other person apart from him. Clement wanted to totally own me.
For the fact that Clement wasn’t comfortable with our friendship, I had begin to panic whenever Moyo wanted to visit me at home. I wouldn’t want him confronting her and saying the bad things he had been saying about her to her face.
When he refused to budge or reason with me, I took a firm stand against his decision. ” Don’t push it.” I warned. ” We all have a certain level to which we can tolerate things. I have respected you enough and have been doing whatever you want. On this matter, drink water and forget about it. It will not happen.”
“Humph.” He sniffed, rubbing his nose. ” You go do as I say.”
” And if I don’t?”
” You no get choice. You must do what I say.”
” See Clement!” I pointed. ” We all have our tolerance limit. You are pushing me to the wall. I can also be stubborn and do things that you will not like.”
” No deceive yourself. You no fit do anything. You can’t leave me. I know you want pikin. Na only me can give you pikin. You go stay with me.”
I narrowed my eyes at Clement as his last words hit me. I was lost for words and shook my head before walking away from him. Swiftly, he rushed after me and grabbed my elbow. I yanked his hand off.
Clement threatened to disgrace Moyo whenever she visited and he did.
One day, I was in the kitchen preparing lunch when I heard Clement talking at the top of his voice. I was suprised because it was only two of us at home. Wiping my hands on a napkin, I rushed out.
Clement was almost bursting an artery. His neck veins were clearly visible as he vituperated.
” No come!…don’t come to this house again. You are teaching my wife bad thing.”
” That’s ridiculous Mr. Clement.” Moyo responded. ” Why would you say that?”
” Because it is truth. No come this house again. I don’t want to see you with Abigail again.”
” Clement please stop it!” I cried. ” Moyo, I’m very sorry.” I pleaded with my palms together. ” I don’t know what has come over Clement.”
” It is okay.” Moyo said as she turned towards the door. I rushed after her and grabbed her hand. ” Please don’t listen to him. He’s just being paranoid. I wish that I knew this before we got married. I wouldn’t have… I’m already regretting. You warned me.”
Moyo handed me a hankie and waited for me to wipe my tears. She held me by the shoulders, saying. ” We have come a long way and have become family. Clement cannot stop us from being sisters because we are more than friends. However, we need to consider the fact that the bible wants wives to be submissive to their husbands. I will stop visiting you at home because that is what Clement want. You can always visit my place or we meet in the school.”
I nodded. ” That is okay by me. Thanks for your understanding.”
” One more thing, you have a lot of work to do on him. Lots of prayers, understanding and patience. Sorry if I sound too blunt. The prayer that you refused to pray before taking his ring, you will have to pray it now. That, and coupled with loads of patience. He’s probably going to change but it might take years. Whatever happens, your marriage must not break.”
TO BE CONTINUED….
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟎
©Bosede Fagbemi
I took to my friend’s advise and decided to wear patience like a garment. I bore all of Clement’s insensitivity and callousness without reacting adversely. It wasn’t easy and I almost became an emotional wreck. Just imagine returning home after a long day at work, stressed with dealing with students and colleagues, to meet a troublesome husband. There were times that Clement almost made me go mad.
Most nights, I cried myself to sleep. There were times that I wished I was still single, cos I felt that I was better off as a spinster. At least by then, I was free to do whatever I liked. I had no one monitoring my movements or making me feel bad. Though my home was lonely, it was a safe haven for me. If you are not yet married, if you are at the verge of making decision about getting a life partner, please do it well. Marrying a wrong partner is the worst thing that can happen to a man. Marital bliss is not something that money can buy.
There were times that Clement was good and behaved normally, but those times were far in between. With time, I began to think that Clement had a personality problem. The notion that my husband wasn’t normal continued to grow on daily basis until I decided to research on what personality disorders are.
After my search, I concluded that Clement might be having a 𝘕𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳. It is a disorder that involves a consistent pattern of perceived superiority and grandiosity, an excessive need for praise and empathy from others. These thoughts and behaviors often steam from low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. Narcissistic individuals, feels that they deserve privileges and special treatments and expect to be recognized as superior EVEN WITHOUT ACHIEVEMENTS. They have an inability and unwillingness to recognize the needs or feelings of others.
Furthermore, I learnt that a narcissistic spouse is typically manipulative, self-centered and difficult to feel connected to you. They hold grudges and try to isolate you from loved ones and are overtly suspicious of your relationships. They treat you like a child and seem impossible to please.
They cannot comprehend why you deserve love and attention. Because they see their needs and wants as paramount, they often ignore your own desires. They also make you feel like a ‘thing’ and not a ‘person’ . Exactly the way I was feeling.
What causes NPD? As with many personality disorders, the exact cause of NPD is unknown. It is probably a mixture of genes, early childhood experiences and psychological factors. Early childhood risk factors include excessive praise or judgement by parents, trauma or abuse.
The treatment for NPD is Counselling and psychotherapy. Medication may also be provided to someone showing signs of other conditions such as depression or anxiety. Because it can be difficult to change inherent personality traits, therapy may take several years.
Having gained the insight as to what might likely be wrong with my husband, stylishly, I suggested to him that we both see a therapist or a counselor together. To me, seeing a therapist, joined with prayers would help bring an improvement in our relationship.
When I suggested this to Clement, he flared up saying he would have known of it. He refused to believe that he had a problem and claimed that I was the one causing the most problem in our marriage. He insisted that I wasn’t submissive enough to him, and threatened to report me to the Pastor and Mrs. Ogunkolade.
Talking about Mrs. Ogunkolade, our wedding day was the last time I had seen her in a while. It seemed that she had deliberately cut off ties with me after fulfilling a mission. A mission? I remembered the dream I had when she proposed Clement to me. I had dismissed the dream by then but thinking of it now, I wondered if she had deliberately matchmake me and Clement for a particular reason. The last time I called, she had told me that she wasn’t in the country. I wish she could come and see what she had pushed me into.
While I was still struggling with my marital challenges, praying and working for marital bliss, Bro Segun visited me at the office. He came alone.
TO BE CONTINUED….
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟏
© Bosede Fagbemi
Bro Segun visited me at the office. The last time I saw him was when he and his wife came to talk about their son’s admission. When the admission clicked, they only called to thank me. So, I was suprised to see him visit without his wife.
At the first glance, he looked leaner than the last time that I saw him. His face was also drawn. I sensed that he was under some kind of pressure.
” How have you been?” I asked after offering him a seat.” Are you okay?”
Segun breathed in deeply before answering me. ” Things have not been going well with my family for a while now.” He said. ” I just need to talk to someone and your face popped into my mind. I’ve gotten here before realizing that you might be busy. I can come at another.
I wondered at why I should be the one he wanted to talk to. Where is his wife?
As if reading my thoughts, Segun blurted out. ” I lost Ronke about a month ago.”
” Jesus!” I screamed. ” How? When? What happened?”
” A month after we visited you, Ronke developed some strange symptoms. At first, we thought it was just age that was beginning to tell on her. We took things serious when she started losing weight. It wasn’t something I could handle alone so we visited some specialists. Ronke was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cervical cancer. She was already in the last stage and nothing much could be done for her.”
” That’s serious. I’m sorry.”
” Despite my medical knowledge, I refused to take NO for an answer even when it was glaring that Ronke couldn’t be helped. I was scared of her dying and leaving me. The diagnosis came at a time that we just started enjoying our marital life.”
” How do you mean?” I asked as I stood up. I opened my office fridge and brought out a pack of juice. As I picked a cup, Segun stopped me with a wave of the hand. ” Hope that’s not for me.”
I smiled. ” It’s for you of course.”
” I prefer water.”
” Okay.” I got him a cup of water and he continued talking.
” Our marriage was turbulent from the beginning. We had lots of falling out and were only enduring and not enjoying ourselves. We had what people will call ‘ irreconcilable differences’ but we held on, maybe because of our kids. Not until we decided to work on our differences did our marriage begin to have meaning. It seemed that Ronke had a premonition that she only had little more time to spend with me. She decided to become more loving. I also became a more loving husband. We were planning a vacation for Paris next year when cancer came and scattered our plans.”
” Oh! I’m sorry for your loss.” I genuinely submitted. ” I do see your boy around once in a while but he was always of the opinion that you both are fine.”
Segun shrugged. ” He’s still struggling to come to terms with the death of his mother. It is not easy losing a loved one.”
” Yes! It is not.”
” Cancer is a bastard. It changes everything about your life. I watched my wife slip away before my eyes. I watched her reduce on daily basis and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t even take the pain for her. I prayed that God should take her when the pain became unbearable.”
Segun needed a shoulder to cry on and I offered mine. I remembered Ronke saying that they had not made friends since they returned to the country.
I and Segun became close, very close. He visited my office regularly. He knew my lecture schedules and would leave his practice to be with me whenever I was free. There were times that Segun would stay at the back of the class and watch me teach. Somehow, I was happy with the attention I was getting from him. He knew that I was going through marital challenges because I told him. So there was no talk of him visiting me at home.
I started sleeping more in the guest room claiming that Clement’s midnight prayers were disturbing me. I knew what I was doing. Staying in the guest room always afforded me the opportunity to chat with Segun into the late night. We even made video calls. Somehow, I knew that what I was doing wasn’t too right but I couldn’t stop because I was enjoying myself. Often, I reassured myself that our relationship was purely harmless. We were only drawing strength from each other. We were Christian adults and had boundaries in place.
Moyo did not see it in that way, and pointed it out in her usual matter-of-fact way.
” I don’t like the closeness between you and Dr. Segun, or whatever you call his name.”
” How do you mean? We are not doing anything wrong. We go way back to our University days.”
” What you told me was that he was your crush back then.”
” Not anymore. I’ve gotten over him.”
” Are you sure? I have seen you two together and watched the way you looked at each other. That spark is still there and it is not healthy. You have to be careful. Remember, no matter what your husband is doing wrong, you are married and you will remain married. You don’t have the right to be emotionally attached to another man. No reason and no right.”
People of God, please tell me with all sincerity. Do you think getting close to Bro Segun is bad?
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟐
© Bosede Fagbemi
Life continued. I got used to hiding away in the guest room and chatting with Segun. It had become a routine that I couldn’t do without. Talking to Segun after a long day had become a balm to my system. We practically spoke about everything under the sun, and we’d keep on and on until one of us will begin to doze off. Segun knew of things that I won’t even tell my husband. I saw him as a good listener and a more matured man.
One night, as usual, I had moved to the guest room. I was
carried away by our conversation. We were on Video call. I didn’t know when Clement entered the room. He moved close to me and saw Segun on my screen before I knew he was with me. Caught in the act, I braced up and ended the call.
” Who be dat?” Clement asked as he tried to grab my phone.
” Who be who?” I answered him and held my phone tightly. ” I was watching a movie.” I lied.
” Movie? I hear you. You talk to a man.”
” Talk to who? You must have heard wrongly.” I feigned anger. “Why are you always looking for problem where there is none?”
” Because,” he pointed. ” I am suspect you. ” Why you run here in the night everyday?”
” Because you always disturb me with your endless prayers. Too much of everything is bad.”
” Hen- hen. Okay.” He nodded. ” I dey wait for you in the room.”
Eyeing him, I asked. ” For what?”
” Are you asking me? My people dey say, woman wey dey look for pikin no dey wear trouser sleep. Meet me for room.”
I sighed in relief when Clement left the room. To think that I was almost caught. Clement musn’t know that I had been chatting with a man. I have to be very careful.
I noticed that Segun was still online and I sent him a chat. ” I’m sorry. My husband came in and interrupted our call. You were talking about visiting your daughters on Sunday.”
Segun had earlier intimated me that he would be visiting his daughters in school. He had never done it alone. It was always with his wife. And now, he wasn’t too sure that he wanted to go. The visit might cause emotional distress for him.
I promised to go with him and stay by his side. As what? I asked myself. As a good friend, I supplied an answer.
I needed to tell Clement something to be able to go with Segun. For the second time in a row, I lied to him about Segun. Somehow, someone saw me at the school and mentioned it in a passing statement to my husband. Hell was let loose. Clement almost blew his top. For the first time since we got married, Clement slapped me.”
Before then, on the day that we visited Segun’s children at their boarding school, I met his girls. There was Bisola and Dediwura. They were two beautiful teenagers. Bisola was a female version of Segun, tall, fair and shy. Her elder sister was more of their mother, especially with her piercing eyes.
On sighting us, Bisola ran and jumped on Segun. They hugged tightly. Dediwura moved sluggishly towards us. Her attention was fully focused on me. I felt like I was being undressed by her unflinching stare.
” Dad!” She pointed. ” Did you come together?”
Segun disengaged from Bisola and moved towards Dediwura.
” Don’t tell me that you’ve already found a replacement for mum.” She said with heat. She couldn’t hide her dislike for me.
” Don’t be ridiculous.” Segun said in a high tone. ” Dr. Abigail is a family friend.”
Dediwura narrowed her eyes and repeated. ” A family friend. Isn’t she married?”
” She is of course. What does that have to do with anything?”
” I wonder what you are doing, going about with a married woman.”
Dediwura gave me food for thought. Indeed! What was Segun doing going about with me? Our relationship was already telling on my marriage. Both of us knew that what we were doing wasn’t healthy, but we didn’t want to stay away from each other.
Dediwura and Clement made us stay apart for a month, then Segun resumed visiting my office.
One evening, we sat watching a movie on my laptop. It was late and most people had left for home. A knock sounded on my door and Moyo entered. She was surprised to meet Segun in my office.
“Ore, aren’t you going home?” She asked and looked at Segun with a sideward glance.
“Of course, I will.” I answered. ” I want this movie to end.
She pointed at the wall clock. ” Do you know what time it is?”
” Of course I know. The movie is almost ending.”
She eyed Segun and drew my hand. ” Can we see outside? Briefly.”
Segun understood what was going on and stood up. He said. ” Sister Abigail, I think we should call it a day. We will see at another time.”
” No…we can.”
” It’s better Sir.” Moyo said in a firm tone. ” Extend my greetings to your family.”
” What was that for?” Moyo asked immediately Segun left. ” Why are you allowing yourself to be carried away like a teenager with an unbridled passion? Kilode? I thought you said he’s a medical doctor. Isn’t he supposed to be at his clinic instead of coming here to waste time with you?”
” Of course he’s a doctor. He has people working for him and he likes spending his free time with me.”
” Since when? If you were his wife, would he be happy that another man is taking your attention and spending too much time with you?”
” Moyo! This man is still hurting and needs companionship. Our relationship is harmless.”
” Joko sibe. I pity you. You are playing with fire. See! It is not a strange thing that aside your husband, you feel attracted to another man. But, it is dangerous the way you keep going about this. Leave the man alone and focus on your marriage.”
” I have heard you.” I said and started packing my stuffs. ” I will make adjustments.”
” No you will not because by tomorrow, I will still see you two together. I want you to make a concrete promise that you will stop seeing each other.”
” I promise.”
” That is still not enough. I want you to pick your phone and call him, tell him that it is best you stay away from each other.”
” Ha Moyo! Isn’t that going too far?”
” Watch me,” Moyo said and snatched my phone. In the next instance, she dialed Segun’s number. She put the phone on speaker. My heart rate increased the moment I heard Segun’s voice.
” Hello sister Abigail.” He said.
” This is not Abigail. This is her friend Moyo.”
” Ooookaaaay.”
” I’m calling on her behalf to let you know, that enough is enough. Whatever relationship you people are having is unhealthy. It is better you stay way from each other.”
” Ooookaaaay.” Segun answered in a subdued tone.
” What is not good is not good. Ere ki laja n bekun se? Being apart will be the best for both of you. Remember she’s a married woman.”
” Thank you sister Moyo. I think I have been selfish, allowing my feelings to override my common sense. I know that Sister Abigail is married, and I will not do anything to jeopardize her marriage. Thank you for calling me to order. God bless you.”
” And you too sir. Odaro.”
Moyo cut the call and handed me my phone. ” Lover girl.” She said. ” Let’s go home.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟑
® Bosede Fagbemi
Segun kept to his promise, no calls, no visit. I felt his absence, as if a vital part of me had been taken away. In no time, I concluded that Moyo had been too forward. I was so sure of myself that nothing unbecoming could have happened between me and Segun. We were two adults who needed companionship and we were only enjoying each other’s company.
Clement wouldn’t stop asking about Segun even though we’d parted ways.
” Who be that man I ask again. That man that people see you together?”
” He’s my childhood friend.” I replied.
” Child friend or what? Is he a child? I’m talking about a full grown man.”
” I didn’t say a child, I said my childhood friend.”
Clement shook his head stubbornly. ” Whatever, I no wan know. You no have right to get close to any man apart from me. I no wan see you with him again.”
I looked at Clement squarely and turned my back.
” You dey walk away from me?”
” What do you want me to do? I have heard you.”
” So na true? The man dey sleep with you abi?”
” You are a very stupid man.” I blurted out without thinking.
Clement came after me and dragged me by the hair. I cried out in pain and jerked my elbows backwards. They connected with his ribs and he cried out in pain, releasing my hair. I used that opportunity to run into the room and locked the door. From the room, I sent out missiles to Clement.
” I wonder at the kind of Christianity you practice. You spend almost half of your life praying but you don’t have character. This is the last time you will lay your hands on me. I will tell the world the kind of man you are.”
I stayed in the room till Clement left the house. He couldn’t go with the car because the key was with me. Quickly, I dressed up and left for the office.
I couldn’t concentrate a bit, and once more, like several other days, my heart drifted to my ideal man. For two months, I had persistently resisted the urge to call him. That morning, I was at my lowest, I dialled Segun’s number.
He picked at the first ring, as if he had been waiting for my call. He sounded low and told me that he was stressed out because he had joined a group of surgeons to carry out a 12 hours surgery. He had been indoors for close to 24 hours just sleeping through. He hasn’t even been able to stand up and make something for himself.
Without thinking I asked for his home address. Segun sounded surprised that I asked and read out the address to me.
30 minutes later, I was at his house. He opened the door and we stood looking at each other. He looked good in his pyjamas. I swallowed hard.
” Oh thanks for coming.” He whispered. ” I have been sleeping for close to 24 hours. I missed you.”
” I missed you too. Have you had anything to eat?” I asked like a mother hen feeling for her chick.
” Nothing much. I’ve been taking tea and biscuit.”
” Let’s check your kitchen.”
” I don’t have much there. I am all alone. Samuel only comes home whenever he likes. Most times, I eat out.”
” That’s not healthy.” I replied. “You are a doctor and you know the implication of eating outside. You don’t know how and where the food is prepared.”
” I know, but do I have a choice? It wasn’t so when Ronke was around.”
” You know what? I can go to the market and get soup ingredients for you. I can make different kinds of soups and put them in the freezer. All you will need to do is to make solid food whenever you want to use them and then you bring out the soup and microwave it. How about that?”
” It sounds good. Will you really do that for me?”
” Of course. Anything for a friend.”
All the way to the market I was smiling to myself and thinking of how much I liked and enjoyed Segun’s company much more than I do my husband’s. At that moment, I wished things were different and I was married to him. Tracking myself out of that pattern of thought, I concentrated on getting stuffs for him . Now that we are back together, I would tell him not to visit me at the office. If people don’t see us in places together,they won’t talk.”
As I cooked in his kitchen, Segun checked me at frequent intervals and thanked me to no end. He tried to help me do somethings but I gently shoved him off. We were actually acting like couples.
I did not notice the passing of time. I was just happy being in Segun’s company. Soon enough, different kinds of soups were ready, packed into containers and transferred into the freezer. We had taken a meal of rice and plantain in between. I looked at my wrist watch and sighed. ” “It’s time to get back home.”
I watched a frown pass across Segun’s face as I said those words. He moved closer to me and we stood looking at each other.
” Thanks for everything Sister Abigail. I am very grateful.”
” It’s a pleasure.”
” You don’t know how much I enjoy your company. Does this mean…?
” Yes! But we have to be careful. No office visits.”
” I understand. That’s okay.”
I shrugged and picked my bag. ” Goodnight.”
As I moved, Segun came after me. I turned the handle of the door and was about pushing it open when I felt Segun’s hands on my waist and his breath on my neck. I melted as he turned me to face him and whispered.
” Have you ever thought that it was you that I wanted back in Our University days, and not Ronke?”
The world stood still!
My brain screamed that I should flee!
My heart thought otherwise!
I needed to make a fast decision!
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟒
© Bosede Fagbemi
After Segun made the statement about me being the person he wanted back at the University and not Ronke, I stood looking at him as if I have been relieved of my senses. He pulled my hand and I gave no resistance. My feet decided to obey the dictates of my heart and not my head. In the twinkling of an eye, I found myself back in the middle of the room, sitting side by side with Segun. Our hands joined together.
What Segun said was a statement I had wanted to hear from him over twenty years ago. What is the usefulness now? It is way too late. So many waters had passed under the bridge. If only Segun had told me this back then. We could have ended up married, because I loved him.
I allowed Segun draw me closer to himself. I wasn’t disturbed about the passing of time. All I wanted was to be with the man I had always loved. It seemed that life was offering me another opportunity but how would it look? Segun was free, while I was tied to Clement for life. God! I cried. Why is my case always complicated?
” Back then in school.” Segun said in an emotion ladened voice. ” I wanted you to be my wife. I was very sincere about my intention. I also felt that God was leading me to you, though I wasn’t too clear about the leading. While I was still praying, I wanted us to be friends for a start. I always wanted to be near you, but there was a snag.”
“A snag?”
” You know how I was by then. How I couldn’t look at people in the eyes, especially you. I was afraid of being rejected if I came to you. So, I went through your roommate, Ronke.”
” Hmmm, and she took you for herself.”
” Before meeting Ronke to enlist her help, I noticed that you were getting too close to Bro ‘Leke . I got agitated and couldn’t be patient enough to wait for God to perfect what he had started. I couldn’t wait for the vision to get clear. I couldn’t wait for God to give me the go ahead to speak to you. I was afraid that I might lose you to ‘Leke, so I moved ahead of time.”
” How?”
” Can you remember the night that I came after you? my actual intent was to pour out my heart to you. I had never spoken to a woman about loving her before. It was my first time and I was ready to do it anyhow. The moment I saw your face, I panicked. I couldn’t say what I wanted and that was why I sought for Ronke’s help. Well, I found it easy to talk to her, maybe because she made it easier. You were more reserved. The next time I met her, I asked her about you and Bro ‘Leke. She told me that you were engaged. The rest is history. I was pained and devastated. All I wanted was for you to be my wife. Somehow, that dissappointment made me and Ronke get closer. Somehow, we did what we shouldn’t do at that time and she got pregnant.”
All through Segun’s narrative, I remained quite. What was I supposed to say? Was I even supposed to be hearing that at that point in time? It was too late for crying out loud.
And,I felt a fleeting guilty feeling come over me. Just for the fraction of a second, I remembered that i should be in my house with my husband. I had spent close to 10 hours with Segun.
” Why are you telling me all this now?” I asked. ” It’s too late. I’m married.”
He shrugged. ” I don’t know why I told you. I know this might sound odd but I still love you. I enjoy your company and I don’t want you to leave me.”
” You know that’s not possible.” I said in a weak voice.
Segun pulled me even closer and hugged me tightly. I made no move to release myself from his grips. Right there in the living room, on the sofa, Segun raised my blouse and I couldn’t move. He began to undress me and I resisted in no way. Nothing mattered at that moment than to go all the way with him. It seemed like my brain had flown away.
Thinking about it now, I made it easier for Segun to have his way with me. As the adage goes, it takes two to tango. Both of us were willing parties. Where Jide had failed in those days when I was much younger, where Tersoo had failed at the NYSC camp, where Prof. Wabara had failed, Segun was about to win. We were about to commit adultery and I wasn’t perturbed.
I couldn’t believe that my body had actually betrayed me. It was lustfully under fire. I had gone down the ladder of self control. Unashamedly, I moaned to every move made by Segun, more than I ever responded to my husband. Few minutes and we were tearing at each other like wild animals. It rang in my head that we were satisfying our lust, it would clear from our heads and we will regret it.
Soon, it was over. We lay naked in each other’s arms. In our haste to get things done, we had forgotten to lock the door. Therefore, it opened, someone entered and we gasped in horror.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟮𝟱
©Bosede Fagbemi
Segun managed to pull up his trouser, though his boy had already seen what he shouldn’t see. I wasn’t fast enough because I was dazed. I stayed glued to Segun’s back with my face buried behind him. But no doubt, Samuel had seen who was with his father in the first few seconds that he entered. I was ashamed of myself and wanted to disappear from the Earth’s surface.
Samuel, Segun’s son saw me. He knew who I was. He wasn’t a kid. He knew what had happened between me and his father, same thing I had severally preached against in the campus student fellowship. I was one of their senior friends and had been invited on several occasions for ministrations. I was also a sexual purity advocate and had always hammered on students keeping themselves pure.
The last time they invited me as a guest speaker, I was asked to talk on the topic- SEXUAL IMMORALITY; THE MENACE OF OUR TIME.
That day, God so helped me that after the ministration, several students made decisions to renounce their evil ways and embrace clean living.
Speaking, I warned the young female undergraduates to stop allowing men to defile them. “Stop giving them your bodies.” I cried. ” In the gutters, at the back of buildings, in the classrooms late at night, on the grass and in cheap or expensive hotels. Stop making yourselves come cheap. You are valuable. Respect your bodies. You are precious and honourable in God’s sight( Isaiah 43:3) why do you continue to dishonour your bodies with men?
Stop living with guys that you are not married to. Don’t be single at home and married in school. Don’t allow married men sleep with you. And for you that are already married, don’t leave your husbands at home and be running after other men in school. Remember! God hates sexual immorality.”
Done with the ladies, I turned to the guys, and warned them not to become gigolos and puns in the hand of sugar mummies. Let me tell you if you don’t know, I said. ” You are selling your destiny for morsels of bread if you continue to spread your seed around.”
Where do I stand now? How would I ever be able to preach again with that boy in the congregation? On sighting us, Samuel had stood confused and indecisive, not knowing if he should go back the way he came or proceed into the room. Hastily, he turned his face away and rushed into the room, mumbling a weak apology. Segun handed me my blouse and dropped his head. I wanted to spit in his face.
Because of what I did, I had become what Clement had all along been calling me, an adulteress. I dressed quickly and left Segun’s house without saying a word. I cried all the way home and prayed that Clement would be asleep. The time was almost 11pm. What reason would I give for staying out for so long and where would I tell him that I was?
I stayed back in the car to clean my face and compose myself before moving into the house. Thank God, Clement was already asleep. I could hear his loud snore from the living room. With no time to waste, I rushed into the bedroom and bolted the door.
The next move was to strip myself naked and have a thorough warm bath. I wanted to wash all traces of Segun off me, as if doing that would erase the fact that we just had an inappropriate sex nearly an hour ago. My heart lurched in my chest as I cleaned my body and got into my night wear.
For me, sleeping that night became an herculean task. The guilt I was feeling wouldn’t allow me have a peaceful night rest. The fact that I had given myself to a man that wasn’t my husband would remain with me for life. My feelings for Segun had suddenly disappeared and was replaced with repulsion.
“God please forgive me,” I began to pray. “Wash me and I will be clean. Cleanse me and I will be pure. To you oh Lord have I sinned and done this great wickedness. The guilt of my misdemeanor is eating me raw. God please forgive me. I promise never to do it again. Have mercy on me.”
As I continued pleading for mercy, a bible verse began to run round my mind repeatedly.
HE WHO COVERS HIS SINS SHALL NOT PROSPER, BUT HE WHO CONFESSES AND FORSAKE THEM WILL HAVE MERCY
” God! I have confessed my sins and I need mercy,” I prayed. It is easy to ask God for forgiveness because we can’t see him face to face, but what of our fellow humans that we need to face and recount what we’ve done?
Before now, I understood clearly that my body belonged to God and to my spouse and that married partners have authorities over each other’s body. And because all sexual sin is against the body. ( I Corinthians 6:18.) all sexual sins ought to be confessed to each other. Hmmmm!
James 5:16- Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
I wanted to receive forgiveness!
I wanted to be healed!
Healing comes with confession and forgiveness!
“Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Must I tell my husband about what happened?
How do I start confessing to him that I went behind his back to sleep with a man that he had been warning me about?
How do you begin to tell a narcissistic husband that you had an affair with the man that you claimed was just your childhood friend?
TO BE CONTINUED…
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟔
©Bosede Fagbemi
That night after I returned home, I sent a strong message to Segun, telling him that I didn’t want to ever see him again. Never! He should steer clear of me. I told him that I was too sad that it had to take a falling into sin to cure me of my unusual fondness and obsession for him.
Segun replied me instantly, telling me that he was sorry for making me break my marital vow. He said he felt like beating himself because, you don’t hurt what you love. He realized that he has hurt me.” I have always loved you Abigail,” he said. “But I should have controlled my feelings knowing that we cannot always get what we want in life. You belong to another man and I should have respected that.”
Segun said he was fervently seeking for forgiveness from God and at the same time pleading with his son to forgive him. ” You won’t believe it.” He said. ” Samuel looked at me eyeball to eyeball after you left and said we both are hypocrites. Furthermore, he said he will never step into a church again because religion is scam, that we both have proved it.” Segun promised to abide by the rule of totally staying away from me.
That night, I deleted all his numbers and blocked him on every social media channel. That was what I should have done a long time ago. If only I had listened to Moyo.
Very early by the next morning, Clement knocked on the door to the guest room. My heart jerked at the sound of his voice. I hoped I wouldn’t give myself away easily, at least until I get to know what to do about my guilt.
” Abigail.” Clement called. ” What are you still do inside? You no go cook?”
“I am not feeling fine. Please make tea or something.”
” I don’t want tea. I want food that will hold belle.”
” I’m not strong. Clement please get something to eat.”
” Abigail please, come and cook for me.” He insisted.
To avoid quarrel, I dragged myself out of bed to make breakfast for Clement. From then henceforth, I became as soft as jelly. I was ready to do whatever to clear my conscience. Anything apart from confessing to Clement. I did not have the gut to do that. I couldn’t even tell Moyo. If only I had considered the cons before the do. See where five minutes unbridled passion has landed me.
Day in day out, I made sure that I carried out my wifely duties with all diligence. I made Clement’s favorite dishes. I shopped and bought expensive wears for him. I began to invite him to visit me at my office, something that I had stopped him from doing before now, because of the fear of him disgracing me with his bad English.
Because of Clement’s never-trusting- nature, he became suspicious of my actions and voiced out asking. ” Why you come become good wife overnight?”
” Haven’t I been good before?”
” This one you do gentle- gentle. Hope you are not do bad thing.”
I nearly choked on the water that I was taking. Clement had hit a point. I was using good deeds to cover my guilt. Dropping the cup on the table, I asked in a gentle tone. ” Why do you always suspect every move that I make? Don’t you want us to have a happy home? I am tired of our constant quarrels.”
” But who cause the fight? You are not submissive to me. Now that you are change, I promise that everything go dey okay.”
Clement raised his shoulder and adjusted his shirt. ” Kneel make I pray for you.”
Reluctantly, I knelt and he placed his hand on my head.
” God go bless you.” He started.
” Amen!”
” God go increase you.”
” Amen.”
” God go give you belle.”
“A…”
I couldn’t say amen to that prayer. As much as I wanted pregnancy and have been praying for it since I got married, now wasn’t the right time. If I got pregnant now, how would I be able to ascertain the father of my child? Considering that I had an unprotected sex with Segun and three days later, I made my husband to sleep with me. Before then, we had stayed two weeks without copulating After my encounter with Segun, I did everything to entice Clement. We mated. I knew what I was doing.
Clements paused in his prayer and looked at me. ” You no wan get belle? I pray you get belle and you no answer.”
” Amen!” I shouted.
God please don’t answer that prayer I prayed within me.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟕
© Bosede Fagbemi
Behind every cloud, there is always a silver lining. Despite life’s challenges, at some points, we get little respites, we smile for a while. Amidst my doubts, worries and fears, I got an international research grant that was worth a hundred thousand dollars. It was for the expansion of a research that I had done collaboratively with some of my colleagues. I was ecstatic because that feat would boost my CV and put me in a better position to apply for the position of an associate prof. by the following year.
As I left my office to meet Moyo and break the good news to her, just around the corner, I came face to face with Segun’s son. I felt like entering the ground, especially with the way he looked through me as if I was a nobody. He didn’t even greet me. Instead, he tapped his female friend. She jerked her head up, narrowed her gaze at me and grabbed his hand. They both bursted into laughter as they glided away.
I couldn’t move from where I stood. Tears clouded my eyes as I turned back towards my office. From then, I became too conscious of how other students were reacting to me. Could it be that Samuel had circulated the news round that I slept with his father? When the student fellowship refused to invite me for ministrations for sometime, I made my conclusions.
A week later, I got a message that Baba was critically ill. His illness had been on and off for sometime but the recent one was proving to be serious. Since I was the first daughter and the nearest to my parents by location, I made an urgent journey to the village. After consulting with my siblings, we concluded that it was best that I moved Baba to Ibadan for advanced care.
Mama was totally broken by Baba’s condition. I saw her watch over her husband like a mother chicken would watch over her little ones. The bond between my parents was so strong that even old age and sickness could not break it. Mama doted over her husband to the point that she almost broke down herself. To tell you the truth, I was envious of their relationship.
I craved for such kind of bond with my hubby. The kind of love that will endure from year to year. The kind of love that nothing would be able to break.
I guessed the type of my parents relationship stemmed from the foundation and got solidified with time. It’s a basic truth that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It takes time, and patience and perseverance. I sat down and tried to look into the future. Will my relationship with Clement survive the test of time? Will we still be able to endure each other when we get old and lose our strength?
Baba got better and soon, Mama started longing to go back to the village.I persuaded her to stay a bit longer for Baba to get more better but she wouldn’t have it.
” Mo ti ba Dokita soro.” She said. ” He said we can always go to Osogbo for follow up. He even gave me the name and number of another doctor. We don’t need to stay longer.”
” Why are you so much in a hurry to leave. Is there anything wrong in my house?
Mama looked left and right then lowered her voice. ” There’s a way your husband behaves. I am not comfortable with him. He acts as if we are intruders in our daughter’s house.”
” You don’t have to mind Clement Mama. You are always welcome in my house.”
She sighed deeply. ” Mo tigbo. Let us be going. The boy that I assigned to be taking care of my guineafowls and chickens, I don’t know if he’s doing a good job. Your father is well now, we need to return home.”
” Mamaaaaa…”
” Abige, you have done well. So well. We are proud of you. You are more than ten sons. The joy of every parent is to have a child that will care for them in old age. You have excelled. I can look boldly into the eyes of those that mocked me in those days that I only gave birth to prostitutes- female children, that they will amount to nothing. They should come and see you now.”
Mama was under pressure to talk and I allowed her. To say the truth, the presence of she and Baba had livened me up since they came. Forget about hospital runs, I enjoyed their stay.
” Omo a toju Iwo nan. Your children will take care of you.” Mama prayed.
” Amen!”
” When you are almost due for delivery, please let me know. I will make arrangement for someone to stay with Baba while I come to take care of you. We can even come together. There’s enough room in your house.”
” What are you saying mama?” I asked. “What delivery?”
Mama pouted. ” Hun Hun. Children of these days. I know you don’t want me to know yet.”
” Know what mama?” I was getting agitated.
” If you had told me before now, I would have brought agbo and leaves that would strengthen you and the baby, down from the village. But it is not too late, I can send them through…”
” Mama! I don’t know what you are talking about.” I cried. ” Agbo for what? What baby?”
Mama opened her eyes wide. ” Ere abo to? Don’t tell me that you don’t know that you are pregnant?”
Mama drew me and force opened my palms. ” See!” She pointed. ” The pregnancy should be about…it is over a month. Let me see your eyes.”
” Jesus!” I cried. ” But I saw my menses last month. Even though it was just a trickle. Wait!”
I rushed into the room and picked my phone. I spoke to goggle.
” Can a pregnant woman see her mensural flow?”
Several answers came up. One of them almost gave me a heart attack.
Menstural like bleeding can occur in very early pregnancy. It is called Implantation bleeding. Implantation bleeding is defined as a small amount of light spotting or bleeding. It typically occurs about 10 to 14 days after conception. Implantation bleeding is common, and it usually isn’t a sign of a problem. Implantation bleeding is thought to happen when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of the uterus. It is…”
Jesus! Fertilized egg!
Who fertilized my egg?
Could it be Segun? Or my husband?
Am I really pregnant?
Hastily, I picked my car key and rushed out of the house.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟖
© Bosede Fagbemi
With the way I drove to Crystal Medical center, one would think that a million demons were after me. I was in hurry to confirm what I already knew. All the way to the hospital, I wished the pregnancy away. No! I shook my head. I won’t have an illegitimate child. I loved Segun, but carrying a pregnancy for him while still married to my husband is a taboo. It is unchristian and shameful.
But the pregnancy might probably be for your husband, something whispered to me.
How can I be certain of that? I shouted.
I want people to learn from me. Please, learn from the story of my life. I could have saved myself from lots of headache and emotional trauma if I had cautioned myself with Segun. The people of the world might be doing it; jumping from one man to the other, and having extra marital affairs while still with their husbands or wives. Many see it as something that is normal. It can never be normal.
We are not lower animals without inhibition. God wants us to remain with our spouses and be faithful to them. Take it or leave it, as long as you are married to someone, you have no reason whatsoever to go out seeking for others and sharing your body with them.
I did it once and I am regretting.
The bible says, “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
– Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
– Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee.
– Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife( paraphrase: husband) of thy youth.
– Let her( paraphrase: him) be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
– And why wilt thou, my son( paraphrase: daughter), be ravished with a strange woman( paraphrase: man,) and embrace the bosom of a stranger?
– For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
– His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.
If really I was pregnant, I would have to come out clean. If the child turned out to be Clement’s, fine! And if otherwise…God! The shame might kill me.
My mind told me that I shouldn’t bother, that what happened is a secret that could be hidden forever.
Haaaa! To be hidden forever?
I might not be able to live with it. Some women are so hard hearted that they could do that. Having an extramarital affair is wrong. Getting pregnant from it is on another level. It is wickedness, when you know that a child belonged not to your husband, and you conceal the truth from him. Same for men, having kids outside and hiding them from the wife. It is wrong and can never be justifiable.
I was visibly agitated as I drove into the clinic premises. My body shook and my heart palpated hard against my chest. My head pounded as if a crazy housewife was using it to pound whatever.
The Nurses starred at me like I was an alien as I got into the reception. It was later that I got to know that they were suprised at my odd dressing. The Dr. Abigail they knew was always well dressed. That morning, I looked like a clown with a shower cap on my head and with my shirt button not properly done. Even my slippers were not of same type.
One of the nurses got me a spare pair of slippers. Another got me a headscarf. They smiled at me. I knew they would gossip about me immediately I left them. They would probably think that I was going nuts.
As I sat in front of my long time doctor, I whispered. ” Can I have a scan?”
” Scan? What is happening?” She asked with a mischievous smile on her face. ” He don stay?”
Dr. Chinwe was a doctor that I had used and trusted for years. I loved her sense of humour but that morning, I wasn’t ready for humour. I eyed her. ” I’m serious. I need an obstetric scan. And if I may ask, is it possible to know the actual date of conception from a scan?”
” Dr Abigaaaaail.” Dr. Chinwe called my name in a playful way. ” What do you need that for? Let’s leave the date of conception to God that did the work. However, we can calculate your EDD both from your LMP and through the scan.”
” What’s LMP and what’s EDD?”
” EDD is your expected date of delivery. LMP is the first day of your last menstural period.”
I shook my head. ” That I can’t say. I thought I menstruated until I read about implantation bleeding today. The blood came scanty and didn’t last for even a day. I thought it was because of stress and didn’t think much about it.”
” Your foetus was likely implanting. But let’s not assume. If you will just go to the room next to this, there’s someone there who will guide you on what to do. I will be with you soon.”
In the next room, I had to remove my blouse and was given a gown to wear. I laid on a couch with my heart in my mouth,not knowing what the outcome of the scan would be and thinking of how I had no power to change anything.
Dr Chinwe exposed my lower abdomen, squeezed a jelly like substance on it and picked something like a mouse that was connected to a monitor. She called it a probe. She adjusted the monitor so that I could see it from where I laid.
Dr. Chinwe pressed some buttons and began moving the probe back and forth my lower abdomen. The movement caused me slight discomfort and made me remember that I had been having a feeling of heaviness in my lower abdomen. Dr. Chinwe pointed at the monitor excitedly.
” Here we are. There’s something growing there. See that point!” She stationed the cursor at a point with a sort of movement. ” That is your baby’s heart beating. The heart normally start beating at about 5 to 6 weeks after conception.”
” Jesus!” I whispered.
” That’s the gestational sac. Wow! I’m happy for you Dr. Abi. This is a precious baby.”
” How old is the pregnancy?” I asked in a flat voice.
” Since you are not sure of your LMP, we may not have an accurate…but with what I have here…the pregnancy is about 6 weeks. Yes! 6 weeks.”
I almost fell off the couch. 6 weeks confirmed. The pregnancy must have resulted from either the encounter with Segun or Clement. If it had been like 4 weeks old, I would have been able to rule out Segun.
I couldn’t tell my husband about the pregnancy until it was almost into the end of the 3rd month, when I could no longer hide it. That was when my morning sickness started.
My kind of morning sickness was unusual; it came at the end of the first trimester. It was so bad. Clement became suspicious and asked if I was pregnant.
Averting my gaze, I answered. ” I think so.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟐𝟗
© Bosede Fagbemi
” What you mean by I think so?” Clement screamed. ” You pregnant or no pregnant?”
” I am pregnant!”
” You pregnant? When since?”
” What?”
” I mean when? You will not tell me?”
” I was waiting for the right time to tell you.” I answered in a low voice. I couldn’t look at Clement directly in the eyes. I was nervous and fidgety.
” The only why a woman will not tell her husband she pregnant quick quick is if another man get the belle.”
Clement didn’t know that he was on point. I almost collapsed at his words and held to the sofa for stability. Bile rushed to my throat and I held to same throat and rushed for the loo to pour out the food that I ate about half of a hour ago. Clement wouldn’t let me be but followed me, not from concern but to continue with his round of questioning. He waited for me to rinse my mouth and wash my face before pointing.
” Abigail, tell me the truth. The belle! It is mine?”
I jerked my head up. I knew that if I didn’t handle the situation well, things might get out of hand. Maybe I had inadvertently given myself out. There was need to remedy the situation, knowing that I wasn’t yet ready to tell Clement about the secret.
” What did you mean by the belle, it is mine? Oh I understand. You meant the belle, is it mine?”
Clement stubbornly shook his head. ” We know learn English here. I ask again, the belle! It is mine?”
” That question is ridiculous.” I said loudly. ” Why would you ask me such kind of question? Have you ever caught me sleeping with another man? What can I ever do to make you believe that I’m faithful to you?”
Possibly because Clement was too near the truth, or because I was frustrated about how my marriage and affair with a strange man had turned out, or even because of pregnancy hormones. Anyhow, I broke down in tears and wept uncontrollably.
Clement was surprised. He had never seen me cry. He was at a loss on what to do.
” Why you cry now?” He asked. ” What it is? Abigail okay. I sorry! I very sorry.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. ” I sorry. Please stop!”
Begging me only aggravated me and made me cry more. It was like pouring fuel in a raging fire. I continued crying torrentially, with cattarr running down my nostrils.
Clement paced from one end of the room to the other. I had never seen him look so helpless. ” What are do now? What are do?” He asked.
Clement sat beside me and begged. I refused to stop the tears. I wanted to drown in tears and push my concerns away. It got to a point that I didn’t know where the tears were coming from.
” Abigail stop now. Please!” Clement continued to beg.
Frustrated, he picked my phone and began to scroll through, saying he knew someone who could talk to me to make me to stop crying.
I didn’t care to listen to his conversations with whosoever was on the other end. About thirty minutes later, when I had cried myself to weariness and my lids were dropping in readiness for a sleep borne out of exhaustion, I heard a car park in front of the house.
Like a peaceful breeze that brings succor, Moyo entered and rushed for me. ” Abigail what’s the problem?” She asked. “Your husband sounded so agitated on the phone. I knew he wouldn’t have called me if it wasn’t something that he couldn’t handle. Are you okay?”
” She okay but she pregnant.” Clement, who had just entered into the living room answered, pointing to my stomach.
Moyo opened her eyes wide and grabbed me. ” Mr. Clement just leave us. ” She pleaded, pushing the air with her right hand. ” Go!”
Clement stood for a while. He looked remorseful. Turning to Moyo, he said. ” Madam! I sorry for what I do last time. I say make you no come to the house. I sorry.”
” It’s okay. I wasn’t offended.” Moyo answered.
The moment Clement left, Moyo peered into my face and asked if it was true that I was pregnant. I nodded in affirmation.
” You know, I almost asked you last week if you were pregnant. You looked different,but I was like, Abigail will always behave like a witch, she will only tell me when her coven members permit it.”
Inspite of myself, I smiled. Moyo was the only person that could make me smile amidst my tears. Clement did well by calling her.
” I was just overwhelmed and felt that I was not yet ready to telI anyone about the pregnancy. I’m sorry for keeping the news from you.”
” It’s okay. So how old are we?”
” About 14 weeks.”
“Wow! That’s cool. I will be the godmother of that baby girl.”
” Of course, no one will do it better. But wait! Who told you that the baby will be a girl?”
Moyo smiled. ” She will be a girl; a beautiful girl like her mother.” Come here!” Moyo said. ” You look tired and unhappy. You should be happy. This is what you’ve always wanted. Let me soothe you to sleep. Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.”
In my mind, I knew things were far from being okay. Moyo could say that everything would be okay because she didn’t know the dilemma I was in. Would she still say same if I told her my big secret? When will I get courage to open up to somebody?
The pregnancy grew. It started showing and people were happy for me. Though I started out not wanting the pregnancy, with time, I came to terms with it and developed a sort of bond with my in- utero- fetus. Despite the skeleton in my cupboard, I was willing to face whatever the future presents.
I started antenatal. I was closely monitored. Being an elderly primi, I was told that my pregnancy was a risk. I could have many complications; preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, pregnancy induced hypertension etc. It got to a point that I began to fear that something might happen to me or the baby. What if I die during childbirth without confessing my sin? Will God forgive me? Will I make heaven with the top secret that I was hiding?
Moyo was there for me all the way. She went extra miles to ensure that I was okay. She expended her time and money. She cooked, washed and tended to my needs like she was being paid for doing it.
At my sixth month, I had already decorated the baby’s room. I had too much baby things, both local and foreign, but I was still buying.
I had wanted a particular basinet and had told my customer to keep it for me once it is supplied. So the day she called that it was available, I left the house immediately for the market. I was in high spirit that day. I had attended antenatal earlier in the day. All my parameters were okay. The foetus was growing well. I had a 1:1 session with the gynaecologist and psychologist. They had advised me on opting for an elective CS whenever I’m close to term. I was okay with that and I signed the form stating that I could be sectioned once I get to 38 weeks.
When I got to Madam Bibi’s shop, she was attending to some customers; a couple, she told me.
I sat outside on a bench waiting for her to finish with the couple. To while away the time,I removed my phone from my bag and went on WhatsApp to check my unread messages. Suddenly, I saw a shadow walk past me. I looked up. Our eyes jammed. He had a baby bath in one hand and a mosquito net in the other.
What is Segun doing here buying baby things? For who? I asked myself and narrowed my eyes at him.
It was obvious. He wasn’t alone. It was him and a lady that my customer had been attending to; the couple. They walked side by side. The lady was pregnant. I presumed her pregnancy to be about 5 to 6 months. It was glaring that they had come for baby things. The lady was younger looking and pretty. I felt jealous.
As I stood up, Segun’s eyes caught my stomach. I held my breath and transferred my hands over my pregnancy, as if protecting it.
My customer called me.
” I’m coming.” I responded.
Segun opened his mouth to say something. I refused to wait to hear his jargon. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Hypocrite! Unrepentant casanova! I cursed under my breath.
Even if the baby belong to him, I will never let him know, I decided. He’s such a bad story. He had become history to me.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟎
© Bosede Fagbemi
Baba became sick again. This time around, he deteriorated rapidly. It was obvious that he had little time left. Mama was anxious; so much as we the children. I employed the service of an ambulance to transport him to Ibadan. He was admitted into a specialist hospital.
All my siblings came from their respective states of residence. Comfort brought her two girls with her. Felicia also came with her toddler. My house was filled to the brim. We stood by mama who was devastated and scared of losing her husband. We also loved Baba and prayed that a miracle would happen.
My siblings took turns doing hospital runs. We allowed mama have enough time with her unconscious husband. We always ensured that she slept at home against her wish. She’d rather remain at Baba’s bedside. We feared for her. It would be painful enough to lose one parent, but it would be devastating if we also lose mama in the process.
Baba had remained unconscious despite all the care that he was getting. Mama would hold his hand and talk to him like he could hear. Maybe he could anyway. It has been established that the sense of hearing is the last sense to go during the process of active death. That means someone that is unconscious could possibly hear what people around him are saying. We said nice things to Baba. We reminisenced on our growing up years; how Baba was supercool and mama was fiery hot and difficult.
My house became a beehive of activities. It was either someone was cooking, another was watching TV and another would be washing. I and my siblings used the period to put away our differences and bond with one another, even if it was at face value. Because we had all gathered to care for the man that brought us into the world, we took time to hide our hatchets even if we couldn’t bury them.
Clement was not comfortable with the arrangement. He wanted me to lodge my family in an hotel. “For how long.” I asked him. ” I’m expending so much on Baba’s hospital bill that I cannot afford to waste more on hotel stay when there’s enough room for them in here.”
” I no comfortable with your sisters.” He answered me. “Your mama look me anyhow. I know say she no like me.”
” Then make yourself likeable. I can’t push my family away because I’m married to you. If you bring any of your family members here, I will welcome them in the same way I welcomed my family. Still on that, I think we should visit your village after I put to birth. I want to know your root.”
Clement turned sharply and glared at me. I noticed a kind of fear crept into his face. If I hadn’t been watching him closely, I wouldn’t have known.
Clement shrugged and turned away. ” You no go my village. Witch plenty for my village. I tell you that my papa and mama dey dead. Nobody to meet for village.”
” So you are scared of witches? What’s the essence of your non-stop prayers if you are still afraid of witches? Even if mama and Baba are dead, you must have other family members apart from your brother.”
Clement shook his head stubbornly. ” You know my brother. No need to know my village.”
I gazed long after Clement, wondering at why he had never opened up about his background or his village. Could he be hiding something from me? Maybe he came from a dysfunctional home. That could possibly account for his odd behavior.
That night, Clement went for a night vigil. Racheal and Hannah stayed at the hospital with Baba. Late into the night, Mama knocked at the door to my room and I asked her to enter.
” Oko ren ko? Where is your husband?” She asked.
” He has gone to the church for vigil.”
” He hardly spend time at home. It seems that he’s trying to avoid us. I expect him to be active in caring for your father. He married from the family. He’s also our son.”
” Maybe he isn’t comfortable being that everyone around is female.” I said, trying to make excuse for Clement.
My mother shrugged. ” I don’t think it is that. He seems not to be happy that we are here. I see it in his eyes. He can’t wait for us to leave. It is not good when a man don’t want you to have your family around you. Have you visited his hometown yet?”
” No! I only know his brother that came during the wedding.”
” Try to go to his village after you give birth.”
” We were just talking about it a while ago.”
“Get to know his people. Create a relationship with them. No matter how odd he is, you are already married. Do everything to stick to him. Make the most of your time together. Life is too short. Enjoy what you have. See Baba now, I don’t think he will be able to recognize any of us even if he wakes up now. I already feel like a major part of me is being torn off. But I’m happy that we had a good life together for over 50 years. That is what I’m saying, I was given to Baba like saara, but when I realized that I had no where to go, I didn’t want to be jumping from one home to the other, I decided to bond with Baba. We had a good life together. Whatever the case, cleave to your husband.”
I became emotional after mama had spoken. I begged her to spend the night with me in the bedroom. She obliged and we slept with our arms wrapped round each other. I felt comforted.
Very early the next morning, mama woke me up and asked.
” Did you know that konfo is planning to leave her husband?”
” What?” I exclaimed as I struggled to sit up.
” Fili’s husband has impregnated another woman.” Mama continued.
” Noooo.”
” Hannah is sleeping with a younger man because she caught her husband in bed with her best friend.”
” Not Hannah? She has a happy home.”
” Reke’s husband left the country two months after their wedding. He has not been calling her for almost two years.”
I covered my face with a palm and muttered. ” This is ridiculous. None of them told me anything. Why are we all unlucky with men?
” I have also been thinking hard. Your siblings have been coming to disparage each other before me. That was where I got to know about everything and everybody’s problem. None of your siblings know that I have their secrets in my palms. If you see me in tears, I’m not just doing it because I’m losing your father but because of each of your problems. Why did I have a long and beautiful marriage while all my girls are finding it difficult to keep their homes?”
I sighed deeply and moved closer to mama and whispered. ” Maybe there’s something in us that keeps attracting bad men. Maybe it’s not just about the men but about us as well.”
I placed my mouth close to my mother’s ear. ” I’m going to tell you this because you are my mother. No one on earth knows about the secret I’m about to tell you. It has been eating me and I don’t know what to do.”
” What is it?” Mama asked. ” On ja mi laya. You are scaring me.”
I closed my eyes and whispered. ” The baby in my womb, I don’t know the father. I slept with two men; my husband and another man.”
” Oluwaoooo.” Mama shouted. ” Abige! Bawo lose seeeee. How did you do it?”
” It was a mistake. A very costly mistake. I don’t know what to do.”
” You know what to do.” My mother said pointing. ” The moment you give birth, find out who the real father of your child is. I know medical science can do that. Make sure you do the needful. I’m not saying that you should leave your husband, but don’t live a life of lie. Two years back, I would have given you a different sort of advise. But now, moti faiye mi fun Jesu patapata. I have given my life to Christ.”
TO BE CONTINUED….
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟏
© Bosede Fagbemi
By the 2nd week of Baba’s admission into the specialist hospital at Ibadan, he gave up the fight. Baba died peacefully without much struggle. I had thought that mama would scatter the whole hospital on discovery that her husband was gone. On the contrary, she maintained a calm composure and held strong. She must have cried all her cries while preparing herself for the worst.
I saw my mother stood strong. She eulogized her husband before he was taken to the morgue.
Kneeling by his body, she said in a clear voice. ” Adigun, oko mi, farewell. Thanks for being a loving husband to me and a caring father to your children. We will all miss you.”
We the children stood by and wept while his body was wheeled away. It was the end of an era. Things will never remain the same again. Never will we go home again and see Baba in his favourite arm chair. We lost a great man and a true father.
I was left with lots of decisions to make. Being the first child, much was expected from me, my condition not withstanding. It was 6 weeks to my EDD when Baba died.
Mama wanted the burial to be done as soon as possible. She did not want her husband to be kept in the morgue for a lengthy period. We fixed the burial for two weeks after Baba’s demise. All my siblings, save Comfort, returned to their base and would be back for the burial. Comfort had prepared her mind and nothing could make her return to her husband. She followed Mama to the village.
A week to the burial, I sat my husband down to have a heart-to-heart talk with him.
” Baba’s burial is next week.” I said.
He nodded. ” I know.”
” We will be going to the village.”
” You and who? I no dey go.”
” Clement why?” I asked in a weak voice. ” You are my husband and you should be by my side, especially at this time.”
Clement stood up and gesticulated wildly. “So now, you need me, I be your husband. Only now you need me, I be your husband.”
” Clement! Why are you always difficult?” I was tired of his attitude and having to argue with him on almost every issue. I had thought that the pregnancy would bring us together. On the contrary, the gulf between us was widening.
” Your mother come. Your sister come. Gather together, they treat me like mumu. I dey hear your sister talk- talk. I no go village.”
” Clement! You are just being paranoid.” I said in a pained voice. None of them treated you like shit.”
” I no say shit, I say mumu.”
” Okay mumu. You are the one that refused to mingle. You were paranoid and unapproachable. Once again, I will remind you that I can’t stay away from my family if that is your wish. For the burial, we will just be in the village for 3-4 days.”
Clement insisted that he wouldn’t go with me to the village.
” Then you will leave me with no choice than to get a driver that would drive me to the village.” I said. “Moyo could have sufficed but she will be at Ilorin by then for her sister-in-law’s wedding. I can’t drive to the village in my condition. I will have to get a driver.”
” Driver? Man?” Clement asked.
I frowned at him. ” You want me to get a female driver? How possible is that?”
He shook his head stubbornly. ” I no allow man drive you to village. I go.”
” Sick man.” I muttered under my breath and walked away.
How I wished Clement had stayed back. Following me to the village was counterproductive. He was a total misfit; like a square peg in a round hole. He found fault with everyone and everything. He couldn’t just blend.
He claimed that mom disrespected him by asking him to supervise the men handling the butchering of the two cows we bought for the burial. He always claimed that my sisters were laughing at him. Clement threatened to leave the village before the burial. I had to continue placating him like a small child. Language barrier was a big problem. Clement would always assume that people were discussing about him whenever they spoke Yoruba.
On the day of the burial, he refused to wear the family joint attire(aso ebi) because according to him, he heard my sister saying that I only married him because I had no choice. Clement attended the service in a faded shirt and trouser and stayed at the back of the congregation. He intentionally did that to spite me.
It was odd that none of our husbands stood by us as we buried our father. We pretended as if we didn’t care but deep within us, everyone felt it. It showed in Mama’s attitude on that day. Before we retired for the night, she dragged me into her room.
” Abige!” She called. ” Oluwa ti fie sori. You are the head and you will never be the tail. You also know God and you have always served him. Please, let’s join hands to pray for things to turn around for everyone of you. I am not happy about what is happening to my daughters.”
” I am also not happy.” I responded. ” I feel the burden now, more than ever before.”
” I wish I had been a good mother.”
” You’ve always been a good mother.” I hugged mama. ” Maybe you failed in some aspects. Maybe you were weak in praying for us like a mother should. That doesn’t make you a bad mother. We love you. Things will be okay.”
” Amen. By the time you will bury me, I want all your husbands to be by your sides. They should come back and take their rightful places. Whatever is driving men away from you people should stop. Promise me you will pray.
I nodded. I was too emotional to respond verbally.
Two days later, I and Clement embarked on our return journey to Ibadan. He was at the wheel. Right from when we left the village, Clement was grumpy and angry. It showed in the way he handled the car. Several times, I had to caution him to drive carefully.
” Please now Clement, do you want to kill us?” I cried at a point when he made a dangerous overtaking.
” Don’t teach me. I do taxi many years. I drive construction company.”
” It doesn’t matter, I don’t like the way you are driving. Look!” I cried. ” That was a near miss. Clement please. Think of me. Think of yourself. Think of our unborn child.” My fear was palpable as I prayed for God to take us home safely.
It seemed my plea was getting to Clement. He slowed down at a bend just as his phone rang. He turned his head sharply.
” Don’t worry. ” I said. ” I think it is your brother. ” Let me pick and tell him that you are driving. I can even use the opportunity to greet him. It’s been long that we spoke.”
The phone rang again. The moment I picked it, Clement grabbed my wrist and shouted. ” Leave. I will call later.”
” Why don’t you want me to talk to your brother?”
I held the phone away from him. Clement stretched a hand to grab it. He had only one hand on the steering wheel.
I noticed a car that overtook another coming straight for us. I dropped the phone, covered my face and shouted Jesus!
Clement swerved and lost control. There was a loud bang. I blacked out.
TO BE CONTINUED…
[0𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟐
©Bosede Fagbemi
I was told that I was unconscious for 10 days after the accident. It was 10 days of anxiety for my family and friends. Moyo, her husband and some church members formed a prayer chain for me. Clement joined them whenever he wasn’t busy running errands around the hospital. Mama refused to stay back in the village rather, she insisted on moving to Ibadan and sitting by my bedside to watch if God was going to take another priceless gift from her.
It was her voice that I first heard when I came to. The way she shouted, beating her hands against her body and calling for the doctor.
” Dokita oti ji o. Abige has opened her eyes. Thank you Jesus. Oluwa ose modupe.”
At first I couldn’t open my eyes properly. My lips were dry and cracked and I had a very bad taste in my mouth. I knew when the doctors and nurses rushed in to check me. The doctor raised one of my pupils and directed a pen torch at my eyes. I tried turning my head away from the light and he chuckled and said loudly. ” She’s back.”
” Hallelujah!” Mama shouted, raising her hands in adoration to God.
I spent the first day of my return to consciousness drifting between wakefulness and sleep. By the second day, I noticed that I could fully open my eyes. Moyo was by my bedside, holding my hands and peering at me anxiously. My head felt like there was a ton of cement in it. When I opened my mouth to speak, I couldn’t believe it was my voice that resounded back to me.
” I want water.” I said in a husky whisper.
Moyo bounced up and grabbed a cup of water. She raised my head and placed the cup against my lips, persuading me to drink. As the clear liquid ran down my throat, I felt a burning sensation and coughed vigorously. Quickly, Moyo removed the cup and parted my back.
Gradually, the memory of what happened came rushing back to me. I was in the car with Clement. We were a few kilometer to Orile igbon. His phone rang and I picked it. He struggled with me for the phone, using only one hand to turn the steering. He lost control and there was a bang.
God! The memory made my head hurt a lot. I closed my eyes as Moyo began to speak softly to me. ” Thank God you are back. We’ve all been worried. Our God is too faithful to fail us. Reverend and his wife have been spending most of the day around you, likewise other church members. Everyone have been praying for you.”
I was told that my car somersaulted. It was a write off. Clement escaped with barely a scratch. As for me, I had a terrible concussion and a dislocation at the ankle.
I was happy to be alive. Deep within my heart, I thanked God for sparing my life. When I saw the snapshot of my wrecked car, I knew my survival was only by the grace of God.
However, something seemed not to be right with me. I felt I was missing something but I couldn’t place it. My memory was still hazy and there were times I totally forgot things.
Everyone rallied around me. Clement was sober and behaved like a frightened rabbit. Mama couldn’t stop praising God for putting her enemies to shame by bringing me back to life. Moyo was always around to attend to my needs. My sisters called one after the other to welcome me back and wish me well.
On the evening of the second day after I regained consciousness, a nurse came around with wound dressing materials. When she asked to dress my abdominal wound, I looked at her in confusion. An abdominal wound? little wonder I had been having this searing pain at the abdominal region since yesterday. My limbs were so weak that I couldn’t bring myself to check whatever was there that was causing the pain.
As the nurse prepared to start her work, I whispered to Moyo. ” What are they dressing. You said that I don’t have a major wound.”
” Yes!” Moyo answered too quickly and averted her gaze.
My head started hurting again. I was trying to remember something. The Nurse smiled at me and explained what she was about to do for the second time.
” What wound are you dressing?” I asked.
” You had an emergency CS after the accident. Your stitches were removed two days ago but there’s a part that is not properly closed. It needs constant dressing.
I processed and digested the information supplied by the nurse. She said something about a CS. Yes! She said that I had one. So if I had a CS, where is my baby?
I was pregnant before the accident. My EDD was supposed to be a month after the burial. “Moyo! What is today’s date?” I shouted. I guessed they did the CS to save me and the baby. Agreed! God bless them.
I looked around me and there was no baby in sight. No one has said anything about a baby since yesterday. How could I have forgoten that I was pregnant?
I grabbed the wrist of the nurse as she tried to open the plaster on my wound and asked in a firm tone, ” Where is my baby?”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑3
©Bosede Fagbemi
I saw fear in the eyes of the Nurse when I held her and asked for my baby. I guessed she was scared that I was going to do something bad to her. She turned to Moyo for help. Moyo stood and came to my bedside, signalling to the nurse to leave the room.
” Abigail! Calm down.” Moyo pleaded.
” Why is no one telling me anything? Where is my baby?” I cried. ” My pregnancy is gone. There should be a baby.”
The door opened and a doctor entered with the frightened Nurse in toy. He came, held my hand and looked directly into my eyes before speaking. There and then, I knew that there was no baby for me. My prayer for all pregnant women is that you will not reap sorrow at the end of your 9 month Journey.
I was told that my foetus didn’t survive the impact of the accident. The medical people thought they could get the baby out quickly for its survival. It died before they got to it. Later on, I learnt that it was a tough decision for them not to remove my womb. It was badly affected and they had to do tricky manipulations to repair it. The consequence was that I might never be able to carry a baby to term again. Carrying pregnancy will be too stressful on the uterus and it might rupture, putting my life in danger.
Because of my apprehension, the doctor felt they should sedate me after breaking the news. To their surprise, I remained calm and did not shed a single tear. The moment I learnt that my foetus was gone, something died in me. Moyo said that my eyes became glassy, that I looked like someone that had lost sanity. She encouraged me to vent, cry. I couldn’t.
But while I couldn’t cry out, I was having a fierce battle within; a personal struggle.Guilt washed over me like a torrential downpour. I felt that I couldn’t blame God for my misfortune. I brought it on myself. My sin had caught up with me. God was punishing me for commiting adultery.
As much as I wanted to forget it, a bible verse won’t leave my mind: Proverbs 11:21- though they join hands together, a sinner will not go unpunished.
But why should it be my baby? I asked. Why did God bypass me to take the life of a foetus that was coming to the world for its own purpose? I would have preferred to lose a limb,maybe a vital organ or even my life. My baby should have survived because it was innocent. I should have suffered for my sin alone. I had an unshakeable belief that I was suffering for my sin.
Everyone supported me to the extent they could. Mama wouldn’t stop assuring me that God was going to compensate me for my loss. She said it was good that I lost the baby and not my life. She said that she was too sure that the next pregnancy would be for twin babies.
Looking at Mama, I shook my head. If only she knew that I might not be able to birth a child again. Mama drew closer to me and whispered in my ear. ” Get well quick so that you can make other babies. Move close to your husband and let him give you children.”
Husband? Moyo’s hubby had assured me that Clement would be a better husband henceforth. He said that his wife had told him about all that I was going through in my marriage and how Clement had been treating me. He had taken the liberty to speak to him man- to- man. He had even extracted a promise that he would see a psychologist for his behavioural issue. Moyo’s husband said I should be reassured that I would henceforth see a remorseful and changed Clement.
I cared less if Clement changed or not. At that point, I was tired of everything and everyone. I kept to myself, only speaking when I had a need.
Everyone was disturbed about my continued silence. They tiptoed around me with fear. Only Moyo was always bold enough to be with me at all times. One day, she sat by my bedside and began to sing one of my favourite Panam Percy Paul’s songs. She sang it in a soft and touching tone. I knew she was trying to get to me.
You have been so strong, that we cannot be wrong;
For in the past, you’ve overcome;
On your face there’s a light, that shows you are a winner;
You are a gem in this life; and your glory will soon unfold;
You cannot afford to faint; in the face of any trial;
It is time to stand; and overcome again.
Don’t give up, it’s not over;
When you give up, then it’s over;
Hold unto the Lord, and trouble not your heart;
Even when you fail, it’s not over.
Moyo almost got me screaming. But No! I wouldn’t do that. It took a great effort to fight back my tears. I knew that if I cried, I would feel better. But I did not want to feel better. I wanted to suffer for my sin.
Moyo started the second stanza of the song.
There’s no obstacle; that we can’t overcome…
” Stop!” I shouted, covering my ears with both hands.
” Don’t push God away.” She whispered.
” You don’t know what I have done.” I said in a loud voice. ” God is punishing me for my sin.”
” What sin?” Moyo asked. ” God is plentiful in mercy. He never punish us based on our iniquities.”
” You will not understand.” I said.
” Make me understand.”
” My pregnancy was possibly not my husband’s”
” What?”
” I slept with Segun. The baby was probably his.”
The last words had hardly left my mouth when the door opened and Clement barged into the room with a wild look on his face. There was no doubt that he had been listening in on our conversation and heard my last statement. In reaction, he pointed at me and shouted. ” Ashawo.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟔
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑴𝑶𝒀𝑶’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽(cont’d)
Because of the marriage proposal, I made sure that I dodged Dele for the rest of my stay at home. I was angry that he had the gut to approach me in the first place. He should have stayed in his lane and know that I was above his level.
Mum noticed that something was bothering me and tried to probe. I grew up in a home where we communicated freely. We had 100% access to both parents and never hid things from them. On a normal ground, I would open up and tell mum about the proposal. However, despite her probing, I refused to let her in on what was disturbing me. I was scared that she would suggest that we undergo a period of prayer and fasting on the issue. That had always been mum’s antidote for every knotty issue. What if we pray and God says yes? I thought. How will I live with a man that I detest?
Two days to new year, we were having a family time when dad threw a bombshell. Dele and some other youths would be visiting on new year day. ” I will be having a couple of youths here on New year day.” Dad stated.
Stale news. Dad always did that every first January. He would invite them to eat and dine with my family. It would afford him the opportunity to relate and counsel them in a nonformal setting.
” Who and who are coming this year?” Mum asked.
Dad brought out his diary. He was a meticulous man; always putting things down. He mentioned the names of the youths. ” Adefemi Adebayo, Matthew Abraham…Dele Alebiosun.”
I grunted at the mention of the last name. Dad noticed and turned to me, asking if I had problem with any of them.
” No!” I responded too quickly and stood up. ” I will be in the room.”
Oyin, my only sister rushed after me. ” I wonder what Dele is coming to do at the new year party.” She said. ” Dad should be careful with the kind of people he invites to the house.”
I acted as if I wasn’t interested in what she was saying.
“I saw him talking to you the other day.” She continued. ” What were you discussing.”
” Nothing.” I responded and turned my back to her.
She left the room after that. I knew she was going to mum to tell her that she saw me with Dele. Last borns could be real pains in the neck.
My family had a culture of eating together when everyone is around. By the next day, mum tabled my issue at breakfast. The moment she started speaking, I glared at Oyin and saw guilt on her face. I wished I could stand up and give her a clean slap. That would teach her to mind her business.
” Ngbo Moyo.” Mum started. ” I heard that you were seen with Dele, discussing.”
Three pairs of eyes shifted and focused on me. I knew Oyin’s ears were pricked to hear gist. Only my elder brother concentrated on his food. He had journeyed down from Jos where he was working as a Physiotherapist at the teaching hospital to be with the family at Christmas.
” Nothing mum.” I responded. ” He was just asking me about…”
” About what?” Mum asked in a sharp tone.
I grunted, wondering at when mum would stop treating me like a kid. For Christ sake, I was already in my mid-twenties.
” When did you start hiding things from us?” Mum asked.
” Iya Busayo!” Dad called. ” Leave the matter till when we finish eating, before pepper will enter the wrong place. I think you should have a private discussion with her.”
” Private discussion ke? We are family. We do things together. Let her tell us what she was discussing with him. I’ve never seen them together.”
“Okay!” I spoke abruptly, raising my two hands up in surrender. ” He proposed marriage and I gave him a straight No!”
” Ose Omo ire.” Mum responded gleefully. ” Marriage ke? With who? Lati bo sibo? He should look for his type to marry. You came from a good home and must marry from a good home. Who even gave him the audacity to approach you? Maybe his mother pushed him to you.They want better thing. Omo Iran ki ran.”
Dad cautioned mum. ” I’m surprised at you. You shouldn’t be saying this? Dele is a changed man. I have worked with him in the bible study committee and I can tell you that he’s genuinely born again. You don’t use people’s past to judge them.”
” I will judge o. The blood of his parents run in his veins. A goat can never give birth to a sheep. I don’t want Moyo to get into wrong hands.”
” You think so? Anyways, don’t get yourself worked up unnecessarily. Your daughter has already said she rejected his proposal. Case closed.”
My mum won’t stop talking about how marrying into Dele’s family would be too wrong. ” Imagine, during the wedding, the father will come to the church reeking of alcohol. And the mother, epe lo ma fi scatter reception. God forbid.”
I was happy at mum’s reaction. I needed to have no fear of her asking me to fast and pray with her on the issue. She had no iota of likeness for Dele and his family.
In the evening, I sat alone at the backyard, looking into the distance. I was feeling low. I should be happy, I told myself. I had a good job waiting for me at Ibadan. My life was moving smoothly, then why was I feeling like I wasn’t doing something right?”
Dad came to sit beside me. ” You look worried.” He said.
That’s Dad for you. He could read and discern every mood and emotion.
I shrugged. ” I don’t know. I’m just feeling low.”
” Why? Is the feeling connected with the proposal from Dele?”
” No! His issue was dead on arrival.”
” Are you sure? I like that boy. I had the privilege of working with him a few times. He’s passionate about God. He’s also focused and matured. He will make a good husband.”
I raised an eyebrow. Why is Dad saying this? He should be on my side.
” Daughter! Don’t use the outside covering to judge a package. Despite his background, he has potentials. To tell you the truth, I like him.”
” What?”
” That’s the truth. I won’t mind having him as a son in law.”
” No Dad, God forbid.” I said in a weak voice.
” Come daughter, what other thing do you have against him apart from his faulty background?”
I thought for a while before speaking. I couldn’t give a concrete answer apart from listing the physical things.
” You better intensify prayers.” Dad said in a serious tone. ” If Dele is God’s will for you, there’s nothing you can do about it. Be careful so that you don’t miss it.”
I nodded. I couldn’t tell dad that deep in my heart, I had an idol. I was fixated on Pastor Alaba. I had the plan to approach him for counseling after the new year combined service. He must notice me. Above all, I couldn’t wait to get out of town and begin a new job in Ibadan. By then, the talk about Dele would fizzle out.
That night, I laid awake. Dad’s words kept ringing in my ears. “If Dele is God’s will for you, there’s nothing you can do about it. Be careful so that you don’t miss it.”
I asked myself what I would do if Dele turned out to be God’s will for me. How do you begin to love a man that you don’t love?
On new year day, we returned home to prepare for our visitors. At most times, we leave mum at the church because of her unending meetings. She always got someone to bring her home. About an hour after we returned home, she breezed into the house grinning from ear to ear. ” You won’t believe this.” She said breathlessly. ” I’ve been chosen as a member of the organizing committee for Pastor Alaba’s wedding. I’m so happy. I feel honoured.”
” Which Pastor Alaba?” I asked, holding my breath.
” The pastor Alaba that we all know. One of the associate pastors at the headquarters. He will be getting married to the only daughter of the G.O. in a month time.”
TO BE CONTINUED….
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟖
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑪𝑳𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
Woman don’t know when man do her good. Abigail no no that I do her good by marry her. Woman stay 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, near 50, no pikin, no husband. She in church, people laugh her, she fight. People talk, she know book, she gather money, no man to marry. What can a woman be happy without man?
Mrs. Ogunkolade call me. ” Bro Clement, you are a good man, marry Abigail.”
I look myself and say, “Clement! You are a lucky man. Abigail is a lucky girl.” I gree to marry her. Now, she get man to stay with her. She happy. Why she do what she do?
Abigail sleep with man and boy. With her mouth, in my ear, I hear. She allow man sleep with her. My head hot like hell fire. My mind say, Clement! Disgrace Abigail. Moyo teach her bad bad things. If you disgrace her, she stop. If you disgrace her, she stop forever.
Reverend say No! Why? He call me in his office and shout. ” Bro Clement, you are stubborn.” He support Abigail. Why support Abigail that do bad thing. Why good pastor support bad thing. He open the bible and talk, “husband! love your wife.” He open bible and no talk that, wife! submit to your husband.
True, I have nothing before I marry Abigail. But, bible say husband, he head the house, as Christ he head the church. Because I am Abigail husband, I head her. I am her ruler. I own her. I own her property. That is how i brought up. That is how I grow up and know.
A man must strong and rule his house with strong hand. Any man that no rule his wife is a mumu. In his life time, I see my father use authority on my mother. He get special whip that he use to beat her when she wrong. He kick and slap her many many times in front of us. My father teach me that a man must bold like lion and strong like stone. The only way that a man can show that he is strong is to hard face for woman.
I have never beat Abigail because I learn in church that it is wrong. But , I slap her two, three times, no bad.
My father tell us boys that all woman have chicken brain. “No allow your woman talk over your talk in the house.
I get no mind to talk marriage to Abigail. I know her for church. I know she old and she no get man. But it no dey my mind to talk to her. I know my level. Who born me? Who dash monkey banana?
One day, as we close for church, Mrs. Ogunkolade call me, come to my house tomorrow. I think she was send me message. I do message for her one, two times before. She carry transport put for my hand. I happy well well. The money plenty. She talk me to take Uber. I carry bus go her house.
I happy the way she welcome me. For my mind, I know she send me special message. She give me plenty food and wine. She even pack food for leather, I eat when I go home. Before, she no allow me enter her parlour. All the time, I stay compound to get message. That day, I balance for chair and do like special visitor.
I put fry rice for mouth. She ask me big question. I drop spoon, open mouth, look at her.
” Mama! What you say?” I ask.
She say, ” You like to live this kind life from now?”
I open eye. ” This kin life? Who for dash me?” I ask.
She talk that I can live this kin life.
Wetin this woman mean? I fear she will ask me do bad bad things. I no trust any man or woman, even if I know her for church.
She ask if I know Abigail.
I talk say I know Abigail. Who know know Abigail for church? Fine woman. I pity her, she no get husband but, I think, she carry her life do nonsense. Any woman, no marry, carry her life do nonsense.
Mrs Ogunkolade smile because I say Abigail, fine woman. I turn my head and shame. I know fine thing now. I surprise. Mama talk that she happy that I like Abigail.
I turn and look her. I say i like her? No! I say she fine. Like different from fine. She fine but she old. She do bad bad things and no husband.
She ask me what I feel if Abigail ask me to marry her.
Me? I point my chest. Haaa. Who be me? She dey up. I dey down. How sky and land go ever meet ?
She insist Abigail like me. She say she no mind be my wife. She shy to come to me. I look myself laugh, wonder if I dream.
Mrs Ogunkolade not leave me one minute. She buy me cloth. She give me money. I ask her why she interested in me and Abigail join. She say she sorry for Abigail, she old no husband. I start to think it good if I marry her. But I fear that Mrs. Ogunkolade lie because Abigail, not look my side.
One day, Abigail say, me, enter her motor. I surprise when she say wedding, two weeks. Just one night, my life change.
After we marry, I discover that Abigail too free with man. Man visit her come house. Man follow her in office. Man greet her too much in church. I jealous because Abigail fine and man can steal her from me.
In the village, my papa call me and say, Clement! No trust woman. No allow your wife jump from one man to one man. If your wife sleep with plenty man, she kill you. Man can get wife and get concubine. Woman must stay with only her husband.”
Before my brother leave Ibadan after our wedding, he call me one side and draw my ear. ” Clement!” He shout, with his eyes shine like dog that see bone. ” Your wife too fine. You dey lucky. No allow another man take her from you.”
I’m feel like die when I see that Abigail follow the fine doctor with gap teeth. I beg my friend Sylvanus to follow am and he tell me that doctor is man-widow. ” Eeeeei!” I shout. ” Man-widow will steal Abigail. I fear to go back and do security work if Abigail no marry me again.
After small time, she tell me she pregnant. I happy well well. No responsible man sleep with pregnant woman, not his wife. With belle, I think I tie Abigail down. I nearly faint when I hear from her mouth that belle get k- leg.
I swear, me, Clement Atabo go teach her lesson. For her life, never never, she will no sleep with man and boy again. I remain in marriage but I will teach her lesson.
TO BE CONTINUED
A man that has no respect and value for women will never honour and respect his wife.
Guage him while you are still courting, how much respect does he have for his mother, sisters and other females?
Again I say, a man that has odd beliefs about women will have no iota of respect for his wife
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟒
©Bosede Fagbemi
After calling me a prostitute, Clement stormed out of the hospital room in a frenzy of anger, looking like someone that could kill another. I wondered at why Clement would call me a prostitute, just for a single mistake? Placing my palm across my forehead, I allowed my tears to flow freely.
“My life is in a complete mess.” I said to Moyo. ” Are you sure Clement won’t go and do something stupid?”
” Like what?”
” He might go to attack Segun. Possibly, he knows where he lives. Clement has the tendency to be violent. He has ever slapped me .”
” So you are afraid for your man.” Moyo said in a solemn voice and turned her face away.
“I’m sorry.”
” I don’t want to say I told you but I told you. Why did you do it?”
” It just happened when I was in a vulnerable state. I have always loved Segun. Marrying Clement is a big mistake. I wish I had waited just a little more. Now, I’m worse than someone that is not married.”
” God can change anyone.” Moyo replied.
“Hmmmm.” I grunted. ” Maybe Clement will walk out of the marriage. I don’t care anyway. I have seen it all. I wanted to get married and I ended up a miserable married woman. I wanted s@x, and I have gotten more than enough. I wanted pregnancy and I have experienced it. I have even been cut up with no baby to show for it. Here I am, empty and forlone. If Clement wants to walk away, let him go.”
Moyo covered my mouth with a palm. ” Calm your nerves.” She said. “Clement doesn’t look like someone that will walk away from a marriage that is beneficial to him like yours. You knew the kind of life he was living before you got married. He was a pauper. He won’t leave your marriage but will continue to torment you except he gives God a room in his life.”
” I wish he can walk away. I will remain unmarried for life. I will adopt a child. Moyo! I want Clement to leave our marriage.
Clement did not walk away. Infact, we met him at home when we left the hospital, fuming and pacing to and fro the living room. When the pastor and his wife learnt that I had been discharged, they came for a visit. Clement did not let them sit before tabling my issue.
He told them of how I committed adultery with Segun and got pregnant. He said that God took the baby as a punishment for my sin and because the baby wasn’t for him.
Reverend and his wife were shocked by Clement’s revelation and my silence. Silence meant guilt. Though they tried to control their reaction, it was difficult doing that. Reverend’s wife looked at me as if I was a piece of rag. She raised an eyebrow and grunted.
I could see that Moyo was angered by Clement’s words. She refused to take it lying low. Bouncing up,she faced him. ” Mr Clement!” She said. ” You better take it easy. Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you had been a loving and understanding husband to my friend. I’m not trying to justify what Abigail did. Nothing should make a married woman sleep with someone that is not her husband. However, Abigail is a good woman. Just think of the fact that she was a virgin when you married her. Think about that and know how you will handle this issue please. To err is human and to forgive is divine. She deserves your forgiveness.”
Clement stepped forward as if he was going to hit Moyo. I wish he did. I wanted him to show Reverend and his wife his true color. Clement caught himself in time and bellowed. ” What is ya business? I can no forgive person that cheat on me. I can no truse her again. She lie to me all the time. She sleep with plenty man and boys. I tell her, she say no…”
” No!” I cried. ” Clement you know that is not true. Everyone is liable to make mistakes and I’m sorry for mine. I am not a bad woman. I have never slept with any other man apart from the singular mistake with Segun.”
Reverend moved and waved his hand. ” Please let’s all be calm.” He began. ” When I was coming here, I never knew I would meet something like this. Sister Abigail, I will not lie. I am very disappointed. We respect you a lot and…” he shook his head. ” However, as it is, what has happened has happened. There’s nothing that can be done than to forgive and move on. The book of Galatians chapter 6: verse 1& 2 says, Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
We all err against God in one way or the other. If God decides to treat us according to our iniquities, then no one will be able to stand. But God is merciful. He wants us to forgive others just as he also forgives us. Bro Clement please forgive your wife.”
Reverend’s wife signalled to me to go on my knees. As I stood up, Moyo held me back, saying. “She can’t do that ma. Because of the surgery site.”
Clement shook his head and flared up. ” You see? She no even fit bend knee for me. Abigail is no good wife. She too proud.” He pointed to Moyo. ” This her friend is teaching her bad thing.”
” Bro Clement please take it easy.” Reverend said. ” I have never seen you like this.”
” Clement is a very difficult man.” I said absentmindedly.
” Abigail has been facing a lot.” Moyo added. ” She has never enjoyed her marriage. He suspects her of sleeping with everyone. He talks to her anyhow. He is paranoid and vindictive.”
” .Isn’t he right about her infidelity?” Reverend’s wife said under her breath, not knowing that I heard her.
” No true? No truth?” Clement screamed. ” See now.”
” Bro Clement! We need to talk.” Reverend said. ” Can we see in the office tomorrow?”
” Yes Daddy.”
” And for what has happened to your wife, I want it to die here. You don’t expose every family secret to the world. Marriage is about love, maturity and acceptance. If you love your wife, you will forgive her. The bible says that love covers a multitude of sins.”
” I want man and woman to know what she do. She no do it again.” Clement responded.
” That’s serious.” Reverend said. ” You want everyone to know about this.”
” I want to teach her lesson.”
Reverend nodded. ” That is good. It shows the kind of husband you are. Let me ask you a question. ” Can you recount the story of the woman that was caught in the very act of adultery in the bible? What did Jesus say to her accusers?”
“She different. She no married. Abigail he married.”
Reverend ignored him and continued. “Jesus said, let someone without sin be the first to cast a stone at her. We always have the notion that the sin of adultery or fornication are the greatest kind of sins. Maybe because the bible refered to them as sins against the body. The truth is that, there’s no big or small sin. Every sin is sin. So if every sin is sin, Sister Abigail is not the only sinner. Your bad attitude against her is also a sin. If we are going to expose sister Abigail, we also have to expose you because your character that I see today is quiet different from what you show in the church.”
Clement couldn’t look up.
Reverend tapped him. ” Don’t tell me you don’t want to be exposed? Fervent brother in church. Monster at home. Maybe you have even been beating your wife.”
” I doubt that.” Reverend’s wife said. ” Maybe we should just…”
” Mummy please let me talk.” Reverend cut his wife short and pointed at Clement. ” Since you don’t want to be exposed, with the authority upon me as your sheperd and your spiritual head, I command that this matter should die here and now.” He casted a sideways glance at his wife. ” I don’t want to hear about it from any other person apart from the four of present here. We will talk more when you come to see me tomorrow but, know that you have no other choice than to forgive your wife.”
Reverend’s wife pouted and said. ” Sis Abigail, I wish you quick recovery, but we need to see once you resume back to church.”
” Okay ma.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟓
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑴𝑶𝒀𝑶’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
I don’t make friends easily because I’m reserved to an extent. But the first day I met Abigail, I knew we were going to be friends for life. There was something about her that made me want to walk up to her and ask if she could be my friend. She was lovely, nice and pleasant. We just discovered that we began to flow together. We had remain friends for about a decade and half.
I could give an eye for Abigail, more reason why I was pained at her marital challenges. Truth be told, she didn’t deserve it.
I wish she had listened to me before rushing into marriage with Clement. I had a dream about her. I asked for us to pray and possibly postpone the joining. Abigail refused.
I dreamt that she was in a cage; a cage that she willingly walked into. The moment she got in, the door was shut behind her. After a while, Abigail started struggling to get out of the cage. She couldn’t. It was horrible and heart wrenching to see her cry and scream and struggle for freedom.
I knew the meaning of the dream from the onset. I knew that getting into marriage with Clement was going to be a big mistake for Abigail. I tried to warn her but she wouldn’t listen. Now, she’s caged in with Clement, maybe forever. Christian marriage is forever. For richer and poorer, in health and in sickness. Christian matrimony does not give room for divorce except in established cases of infidelity.
In my mind( I can’t say this to Abigail) I wish something will happen that will lead to a dissolution of the marriage. I want my friend to be free and happy again. I don’t see Clement giving her happiness. I told Abigail that God can change Clement, but what happens if he’s not willing to be changed?
God will not force his will on us. He gives us the chance to choose the kind of life we want to live. When Paul encountered Christ on his way to Damascus, when he heard Jesus speak to him, his response was, Lord! what do you want me to do?
That means despite his past, he was submitting himself to the rulership of Christ henceforth. Anyone that doesn’t see the need for change like Paul, can never be changed.
I didn’t see Clement leaving their marriage, add that to the fact that they married in the christian way. The Christian marriage is like a room with a single door. Once you get into the room, the door is shut. It is then left for you to take and manage whatever you face in the room.
If the foundation is faulty, what can the righteous do. I’m an advocate for getting it right from the onset. The pains and regrets in wrong marriages is enough to warn the unmarried to look well before they leap.
The red flags are always there, but at most times, people deliberately ignore them because of the eagerness to get married. I almost made the same kind of mistake at the point of choosing.
My husband Dele was not in the league of men that I ever dreamt of marrying. When he proposed to me, my instant answer was a capital No! I didn’t bother to pray about his proposal at the beginning.
We love who we love, and we marry who we marry. Marrying in the will of God is the best. At times, the will of God might be the same person that we love, but it is not always so. In either way, God’s will is the utmost because God can never be wrong.
Thank God that I didn’t miss his will for my life. I almost did.
I was a good girl. I got born again in my early teens. I lived a clean and focused life. Everyone knew that I was disciplined. It was expected that I would marry someone with same kind of background and disposition as mine. I’ve had countless people telling me that I would end up as a pastor’s wife. Infact, my eyes was fixed on a particular unmarried associate pastor in our church headquarters. He was tall, handsome and presentable. Add that to his vibrant Christian life.
Dele was from a dysfunctional home. They lived at the street behind our street, while we attended the same church. His father had been a drunkard since I knew him. We always laughed at his dramatics whenever we see him displaying in the neighborhood. His mother was a kind of mother that could curse her children from dawn till dusk. Dele himself was a ruffian. His siblings were spoilt brats. They were all girls. I and my clean friends always sneer at them for frolicking with men at their age. Our parents would warn us not to associate with them. Even in church, we didn’t mix with their kind of breed.
Dele was a back bencher in church, at least, until he became a regular member and started participating in programs. He had a clique. They had their seat and the back where they made noise and counter whatever the pastor was saying. They attended church only on monthly thanksgiving days, and during Christmas and New year. They would stay at the head of people as they dance to the front to thank God for seeing the last Sunday of the month, while displaying unchristian-like dance steps. That was how we called their way of dancing. I in particular detested Dele and his friends.
Dele changed and started attending church regularly. He sort of became a voice in the church because of his vibrancy. It seemed he had encountered Christ. No matter what, I couldn’t dissociate him from the gutter boy that I knew, forget about the clean shirts and the neck-ties.
I had finished youth service and gotten a graduate assistant job at the University of Ibadan. I was home for Christmas and to inform my parents that I got a job already and would resume by January. I was surprised when Dele asked to see me on Christmas day. For what? I asked myself. Let it not be what I’m thinking.
When Dele proposed, what I saw was total incompatibility. I did not mince words in telling him No! His gutter background was a major discouraging factor. And then, I wanted someone taller than me by several inches. I had a thing for tall men. Dele did not measure up. Educationally, he was below me. At the time he proposed, he was working at a private firm with a National Diploma. Furthermore, I wanted to be with someone that is closer to me in age. Dele was eight years older than me.
With this and other reason, I said, when I summoned courage to speak to God about Dele. We are not compatible. Father please, let this cup pass over me. Give me Pastor Alaba and I will serve you for my whole life. I will be a good pastor’s wife.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟖
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑪𝑳𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
Woman don’t know when man do her good. Abigail no no that I do her good by marry her. Woman stay 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, near 50, no pikin, no husband. She in church, people laugh her, she fight. People talk, she know book, she gather money, no man to marry. What can a woman be happy without man?
Mrs. Ogunkolade call me. ” Bro Clement, you are a good man, marry Abigail.”
I look myself and say, “Clement! You are a lucky man. Abigail is a lucky girl.” I gree to marry her. Now, she get man to stay with her. She happy. Why she do what she do?
Abigail sleep with man and boy. With her mouth, in my ear, I hear. She allow man sleep with her. My head hot like hell fire. My mind say, Clement! Disgrace Abigail. Moyo teach her bad bad things. If you disgrace her, she stop. If you disgrace her, she stop forever.
Reverend say No! Why? He call me in his office and shout. ” Bro Clement, you are stubborn.” He support Abigail. Why support Abigail that do bad thing. Why good pastor support bad thing. He open the bible and talk, “husband! love your wife.” He open bible and no talk that, wife! submit to your husband.
True, I have nothing before I marry Abigail. But, bible say husband, he head the house, as Christ he head the church. Because I am Abigail husband, I head her. I am her ruler. I own her. I own her property. That is how i brought up. That is how I grow up and know.
A man must strong and rule his house with strong hand. Any man that no rule his wife is a mumu. In his life time, I see my father use authority on my mother. He get special whip that he use to beat her when she wrong. He kick and slap her many many times in front of us. My father teach me that a man must bold like lion and strong like stone. The only way that a man can show that he is strong is to hard face for woman.
I have never beat Abigail because I learn in church that it is wrong. But , I slap her two, three times, no bad.
My father tell us boys that all woman have chicken brain. “No allow your woman talk over your talk in the house.
I get no mind to talk marriage to Abigail. I know her for church. I know she old and she no get man. But it no dey my mind to talk to her. I know my level. Who born me? Who dash monkey banana?
One day, as we close for church, Mrs. Ogunkolade call me, come to my house tomorrow. I think she was send me message. I do message for her one, two times before. She carry transport put for my hand. I happy well well. The money plenty. She talk me to take Uber. I carry bus go her house.
I happy the way she welcome me. For my mind, I know she send me special message. She give me plenty food and wine. She even pack food for leather, I eat when I go home. Before, she no allow me enter her parlour. All the time, I stay compound to get message. That day, I balance for chair and do like special visitor.
I put fry rice for mouth. She ask me big question. I drop spoon, open mouth, look at her.
” Mama! What you say?” I ask.
She say, ” You like to live this kind life from now?”
I open eye. ” This kin life? Who for dash me?” I ask.
She talk that I can live this kin life.
Wetin this woman mean? I fear she will ask me do bad bad things. I no trust any man or woman, even if I know her for church.
She ask if I know Abigail.
I talk say I know Abigail. Who know know Abigail for church? Fine woman. I pity her, she no get husband but, I think, she carry her life do nonsense. Any woman, no marry, carry her life do nonsense.
Mrs Ogunkolade smile because I say Abigail, fine woman. I turn my head and shame. I know fine thing now. I surprise. Mama talk that she happy that I like Abigail.
I turn and look her. I say i like her? No! I say she fine. Like different from fine. She fine but she old. She do bad bad things and no husband.
She ask me what I feel if Abigail ask me to marry her.
Me? I point my chest. Haaa. Who be me? She dey up. I dey down. How sky and land go ever meet ?
She insist Abigail like me. She say she no mind be my wife. She shy to come to me. I look myself laugh, wonder if I dream.
Mrs Ogunkolade not leave me one minute. She buy me cloth. She give me money. I ask her why she interested in me and Abigail join. She say she sorry for Abigail, she old no husband. I start to think it good if I marry her. But I fear that Mrs. Ogunkolade lie because Abigail, not look my side.
One day, Abigail say, me, enter her motor. I surprise when she say wedding, two weeks. Just one night, my life change.
After we marry, I discover that Abigail too free with man. Man visit her come house. Man follow her in office. Man greet her too much in church. I jealous because Abigail fine and man can steal her from me.
In the village, my papa call me and say, Clement! No trust woman. No allow your wife jump from one man to one man. If your wife sleep with plenty man, she kill you. Man can get wife and get concubine. Woman must stay with only her husband.”
Before my brother leave Ibadan after our wedding, he call me one side and draw my ear. ” Clement!” He shout, with his eyes shine like dog that see bone. ” Your wife too fine. You dey lucky. No allow another man take her from you.”
I’m feel like die when I see that Abigail follow the fine doctor with gap teeth. I beg my friend Sylvanus to follow am and he tell me that doctor is man-widow. ” Eeeeei!” I shout. ” Man-widow will steal Abigail. I fear to go back and do security work if Abigail no marry me again.
After small time, she tell me she pregnant. I happy well well. No responsible man sleep with pregnant woman, not his wife. With belle, I think I tie Abigail down. I nearly faint when I hear from her mouth that belle get k- leg.
I swear, me, Clement Atabo go teach her lesson. For her life, never never, she will no sleep with man and boy again. I remain in marriage but I will teach her lesson.
TO BE CONTINUED
A man that has no respect and value for women will never honour and respect his wife.
Guage him while you are still courting, how much respect does he have for his mother, sisters and other females?
Again I say, a man that has odd beliefs about women will have no iota of respect for his wife
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟯𝟵
©Bosede Fagbemi
Time heals all wounds is a true saying. However, not every wound, heals at the same time. Healing depends on the cause and the extent of a wound, as well as the presence of factors that promote healing.
After my bitter experiences, my physical wound began to heal, and did so in record time. I ensured that I used all my prescribed medications, ate well and adhered to the regulations given at my discharge. While I was healed physically, It wasn’t same for my emotion. It often seemed as if I was on a seesaw. One moment I’m up, the next moment I’m down. There were times that I felt happy to be alive. At other times, my mood nosedived and I wanted to end it all.
I stayed mostly at home. I did not have the courage to face the world yet. I wondered at how I would react, if I see women that we were pregnant at the same time holding their babies. It might be too traumatic for me.
Because my home environment was toxic, staying at home did not help me much. Moyo did all she could to draw me out, but I told her point blank that I was not yet ready to face the world.
From the day that Reverend counseled Clement at the church, he started giving me the silent treatment. Clement began to treat me like a Jew would treat an unclean animal. He hardly spoke to me except on necessity. He visited our bedroom whenever he had the urge to satisfy his manly need. Even with me still having the discomfort from the CS scar, I allowed him have his way at countless times.
It’s an unshakeable truth that I brought myself into the Union with Clement. No one forced me in anyway, so I should be ready to face the music; till death do us part. If we had courted and I has discovered the kind of person Clement is, if I had been cautious before taking the rash step that landed me in an impromptu and a regrettable marriage, I will not be saying this. I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock, and do and undo some things, but it’s always too late to cry when the head is off.
Though Clement saw me as an unclean person, he did not stop eating my food. He would eat and demand for more. We only communicated at food and sex time.
Clement looked vindictive, as if he was planning something bad in his mind against me. I had caught him casting wicked glances at me on several occasions. I wished I could read into his mind and know his thoughts.
One day, I got a visit from one of my male senior colleagues. Clement wasn’t in when the visitor came but returned when he was about to leave. Immediately the man left, Clement charged at me.
” You start again. You bring man to house. Reverend side you. He don’t know what you are do.”
Breathing deeply, I responded to him. ” Clement!” I called. “Prof. Bello is a senior colleague at work. He only came to see how I’m doing. There’s nothing attached to his visit.”
” That is what you are say.” Clement moved closer to me. ” That is what you are say and sleep with doctor.”
” Clement!” I cried. ” You don’t have to keep referring to that, anytime we have an issue. Agreed,I made a mistake. I have sought for forgiveness. I don’t even talk to Segun anymore. He has remarried.”
” He’s no marry. He’s a man-widow.” Clement shouted.
Despite the situation, I almost bursted out in laughter. Man-widow ke? ” He was a widower.” I corrected Clement. ” He has remarried.” I insisted. ” I met him with his heavily pregnant wife at the market.”
Clement shook his head. ” Not my business. I don’t want you with man or boy at all.”
” Then, be ready to keep me in a cage.” I responded angrily. ” I’m ready to abide by your rule of not relating with men, but that will only be possible if I don’t step out of this house for any reason. With the nature of my job, I have no choice but work with different kinds of men, that doesn’t mean that I’m having anything untoward with them. I’m a woman of high moral value and integrity.”
” Leave job. Do Job in shop.” Clement blurted out.
” She bobo yi gbadun Sha.” I said under my breath. Leave my job? For what?
Clement asked me to quit my job because of his insecurity. A job that I cherish and enjoy. I had risen through the ranks and was gradually approaching the professorial rank. How do I explain to my husband that my job meant a lot to me? Would he even understand. I should have thought about this before marrying Clement. Too much regrets.
Truth be told, it is not all men that you can lift up as a woman. There are men that will always pull you down because they have no single grain of greatness in them. Their warped mentality and attitude will always keep them down.
” If I quit my job, what will we be feeding on?” I asked Clement. ” The business center has not been doing well since I handed it over to you. I decided not to interfere again because you always fight me whenever I ask about the shop. I guess you must be joking about quiting my job anyway.”
” You leave job. We face shop.” Clement insisted. ” You are stay with me. I see you everyday. No man visit you. We trust God, he is providing.”
I didn’t know what to say again to make Clement to understand that I could never quit my job for anything. At that point, I got weary and felt a sudden need to leave my home environment. I needed a breath of fresh air. As I made to move, Clement barked at me. ” You leave me, I standing here. No respect.”
” Clement, I’m sorry. I need a breath of fresh air.”
He grabbed my hand. ” I still talk. You leave your University work. Bible say wife, obey your husband.”
” Are you serious at all?” I asked, removing my hand from his grip.
He nodded. ” Yes! We work in shop together.”
I smiled and responded in a calm voice. ” It’s not possible and it will never happen.”
” Then I tell everybody that you sleeping with man and boy. I go to church. I go to University. I …”
” Are you trying to blackmail me?” I cried. ” What have I done to deserve this from you? On a normal ground, you should be treating me like a queen because of what God has used me to do in your life. At first I despised you but not anymore. I have accepted you with open arms. You sleep with me. You eat my food. I treat you with respect. Clement, I have given you a chance at a good life and you shouldn’t reward me with ungratefulness. Please! give me peace of mind and I will continue to be a good wife to you. By the way, you are not too old to go back to school. You can still make something better out of your life. What I have achieved you can also achieve. Why are you trying to bring me down? You are my husband. Please, let’s work together.”
” I no work together if you no obey me.”
” In what?” I asked.
” Leave the job you do with man and boy.”
” And become what? I’m sorry. It’s not possible. I can’t quit my job for you. Never!”
Clement shrugged. ” Then I spoil your name. I talk in church…”
” Go ahead Clement.” I threw at him. ” Do the worst.”
He moved closer to me and raised his fist. I was fast to grab his raised fist. Looking directly into his eyes, I warned. ” Don’t try it.”
I saw fear crept into his eyes. Dropping my hand, I turned, picked my phone, and left the living room. As soon as I got outside, I called Moyo. My voice quivered as I spoke to her. I needed her to come and pick me.
When I returned home later at night, Clement had slept. I stayed late into the night, thinking of what to do with my life. I feared that I wouldn’t live long if Clement refused to change. I pitied women like me, that married men like Clement. How are they coping?
My mind went to Abigail in the bible. No wonder she made that horrible statement about her husband. She must have lived a very hard life in his household, his affluence not withstanding. 1Sam.25.25 – Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him…
In the confines of my room, I asked God if it is possible that Clement would change. I began to see that it will be easy for someone that is not a believer to change, than for Clement, that claimed to know God, but had an horrible character to change.
God hates divorce, I know. However, I needed answers. What could I do to my kind of marriage. I feared that I might drop dead one day because of the stress from my husband.
In my mind, I developed a great burden to reach out to single sisters that are waiting on God for marriage partners. It is very important that they don’t make the kind of mistake that I made. Same goes for brothers looking for wives. Watchfulness is very important. They should look before they leap and not jump into marriage with just anybody. That a person goes to church doesn’t mean they will make good husbands or wives.
My problem with Clement wasn’t about education, far from it. There are countless families that the wives are more educated and richer than the husband, and they are living fine. I was willing to humble myself and raise my husband to my standard, but he would only have it his way.
After thinking back and forth, I got exhausted and fell into a troubled sleep. And I dreamt.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟎
© Bosede Fagbemi
I dreamt that my house was on fire. Not the whole house; my room. I wasn’t in the fire but I was running Helter skelter to put out the fire. Clement stood by one side with his arms across his chest, smiling mischievously. He had a satisfied look on his face as the fire engulfed my properties.
I jerked awake suddenly. I was covered in sweat. ” God!” What a dream?” I cried out. Why will my house be on fire and Clement will stand aloof, refusing to help me?
” Father, I come against every impending loss by fire,” I prayed on my knees. ” I silence every evil intent and manipulation in Jesus name. Every man, born of woman, that is planning to destroy all that I have labored for, by the power in the name of Jesus, I bring their plans to futility in Jesus name. Oluwa fokun ara won gbe won de. Oluwa fisan Ara won gbe won de. Ni oruko Jesu.”
The dream looked too real. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Instead, I slipped my feet through a slippers and moved around the house. I checked and rechecked. I peeped into the guest room and met Clement on his knees. It seemed it was my prayer that woke him up. Soon enough, his baritone filled the surrounding. He started praying.
I was restless. The look on Clement’s face the day before had returned to haunt me. I wondered if Clement could be so wicked to the extent of planning to set my properties on fire. To what end? I asked myself. A Yoruba adage came to my mind and I cringed. ” Some people cannot milk a cow, but they can waste the milk. It was obvious that Clement wasn’t only feeling insecure but envious of my achievements. If not, he wouldn’t suggest that I leave my job and join him in managing our business center. He would probably not stop at anything to bring me down.
I remembered the look on his face again. What if he’s planning to burn down the house? But for what? I was sure he wouldn’t go to that extent.
But, it was only my room that I saw in the dream. And,…a part of the dream that I didn’t remember before flashed at me. I was in rags.
“Jesus!” I screamed and passed a hand across my head, clicking my thumb and my middle finger. ” I reject every spirit of wasters in Jesus name. I shall not be reduced to rags. I cover myself and my properties with the blood of Jesus.”
Suddenly, I felt the need to carry out an urgent action. I carried a box and started loading my credentials into it. Every of my credential, my awards, and other essential documents relating to my career. I took the C of O of the house and the shop as well as the documents to two other properties and added them.
” Don’t be paranoid, I told myself. It was just a dream. Clement will not harm you.”
Even with that, I continued packing. I sat and anxiously waited for the day to break. As soon as it was 6am, I wheeled the box out of my room and met Clement by the doorway. He looked suspiciously at me and asked. ” Where you go?”
” I want to drop some things with Moyo. I will be back very soon.”
” What you drop?” He queried.
” Some stuffs that I want her to keep for me.”
” Stuffs, stuffs.” Clement repeated.
” Continue to crack your brain.” I murmured as I left the room.
Moyo’s family had just had their morning devotion when I got to their house. The children shrieked and jumped at the sight of me. Dele and Moyo were surprised. Dele warded the children out of the living room to give I and Moyo time to talk. He soon returned and sat beside his wife to listen to what I had to say.
” Everything is okay.” I started. ” I brought my credentials and other valuable documents to keep here.”
” Why?” Dele whispered. ” It’s unusual. I mean, your house is your house.”
” I dreamt. I saw myself reduced to rags.”
” God forbid.” Moyo screamed, making the same kind of sign I made back at my house.
” In the dream, I saw my room burning. Clement stood at a side and was smiling and nodding his head in satisfaction. I don’t know if I’m just being paranoid. We had a fight yesterday because he wanted me to quit my job and I told him that I won’t.”
” Quit your job for what?” Moyo asked angrily.
” Prof. Bello paid me a visit and Clement resurrected the issue of my association with men. He wants me to quit my job and join him at the shop.”
” Tall dream.” Moyo murmured.
Dele stood up and faced his wife. ” I will go and prepare the children for school. Stay and make Sis Abigail comfortable. I will rush back home after dropping them, so that we can tackle this issue together. It’s not something that we should take lightly.”
Moyo blew a kiss at her husband. ” Thank you sweet heart.”
The moment Dele left the room, I broke down in tears and looked up. ” Where was I when God was sharing good husbands?”
” You went to the market.” Moyo answered jokingly and offered me a tissue paper. ” Don’t start your cry- cry because it will not give us any solution.”
” Moyo, I’m tired. I don’t know if the dream is nothing.”
” You did well by bringing your valuables here. Even if the dream is nothing, your mind will be at rest that your documents are safe with me. Let’s leave that aside. I think it is time we do something about your issue. Things are getting out of hand. For crying out loud, how would Clement suggest that yo leave your job? Well, I don’t blame him. He doesn’t know your value and that is why he treats you like trash. It’s time to put him in his place.”
” How? I asked , adjusting in my seat.”
” First, he should start taking responsibility. He’s a man. You shouldn’t be the sole provider at home. You have done well by giving him a source of income. He should play his part in providing for the home. If he’s suggesting that you quit your job, then he should be ready to be up and doing.”
” I know Clement. If I suggest that to him, he will turn it to fight. He has never brought in a dime from that shop. Yet, he keeps depending on me to equip the shop. I still pay the two staff from my salary.”
“That has to stop. If he wants to raise shoulder, then he should be man enough.”
At that point in our conversation, Dele stepped in. He sat beside his wife and faced me. ” Sister Abigail.” He called. ” I think you need a break.”
” A break?” I said in a weak voice.
” You need a time to get away from Clement, to put yourself together. You are becoming an emotional wreck. I thought he would have changed with the various discussions we had when you were hospitalized. As it is now, why not leave this environment for a while. Can you manage it.”
Moyo nodded. ” Yes of course. The University gave her leave. They know that she needs to recuperate. She can utilize the remaining weeks to relax somewhere, away from this environment and from Clement.”
” You can also use the time to get more intimate with God and know his mind concerning the next step in your life.” Dele added. ” God loves you. Despite all that has happened to you, he’s ready to give you a better future.He is so merciful that even if we had gone against his will in one way or the other, he will still take us back if we come to him with a genuine heart.”
Moyo picked her bible. ” I’m always intrigued about the story of David and Bathsheba. How David did wrong by sleeping with Bathsheba and facilitating her husband’s death. How David was warned and punished by God, and how the child resulting from the encounter with Bathsheba died. Because David was remorseful and repented, God in his Mercy, made Bathsheba to conceive again. And when the other child came, he sent prophet Nathan to give him a special name.
2Sam.12.24 – And David comforted Bathsheba his wife, and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the LORD loved him.
– And he sent by the hand of Nathan the prophet; and he called his name Jedidiah, because of the LORD.
That’s how far God can go to show man Mercy. He’s going to look upon you with Mercy, Abigail. He will wipe away your tears.”
” Amen!”
“As for Clement,” Dele said. ” I don’t want you to take a rash decision. Let’s see how God will lead us as you go on this vacation.”
” I’m okay with this. I have also given it a thought before now, but I don’t know where to go.
“I think I know a place.” Moyo said and rushed into the room. She returned with a brochure and passed it to me.
” That is where I and Daddy Sharon went last year when we needed time away from work and everything. The couple; pastor Caleb and pastor Elizabeth are the two people that God has used to create the place as a Christian resort for both the married and single. We enjoyed every day of our two weeks there.”
” I will suggest that you meet the pastor and his wife. They are lovely couples. They will pray with you and counsel you. Above all, it’s a place where you will feel at peace, away from the hurstle and burstle of everyday life.”
” I’m already liking the place.” I said, smiling for the first time that morning.
—–
Two days later, I was ready to embark on the journey to the Christian resort. I didn’t mince words in letting Clement know that i needed the time alone. He wasn’t much bothered about me traveling than how he would fend for himself when I’m away.
” You are travel. How me eat?” He asked.
” How were you feeding before we got married?” I asked him in return.
” Now different.” He responded. ” You know you are travel. You put different soup in fridge. I get soup for three weeks.”
I had earlier told him that I would spend three weeks away; two weeks at the resort and one week with Mama in the village.
” I’m sorry Clement. ” I said. ” Moyo is almost here. She’s taking me to the Airport. I don’t want to miss my flight. You can go to the market and get foodstuffs. Three weeks and I’m back.”
Clement scratched his head and looked sheepish. I knew what he wanted. For once, I was not going to drop a dime. He was the man of the house and should be man enough to fend for himself. He looked angrily at Moyo as she stepped in to pick my box. I heard him muttering some abusive words under his breath. I pitied him at that point, but I felt he should learn some lessons about life. I sincerely prayed that he would be changed before I return from my trip.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟏
© Bosede Fagbemi
CLEMENT’S POV
Woman-wife, she wicked. Abigail, she very very wicked. How? Abigail! she leave house, no food. 1,2,3 weeks. How am I survive 3 weeks? No money. Business, it slow. The small money I have, I send to my brother Ojonigwu for village. Ojonigwu, he ask for money too much. Ojonigwu, he swear to do me bad if I not send money.
Abigail, she think that I waste money. I not tell her that the money that I get in shop, I send to Ojonigwu. If not, Ojonigwu swear to do me bad. Ojonigwu swear to tell Abigail, bad thing I do tey- tey. No man, no woman in Ibadan know what I do, many many years in village. I come Ibadan and start life fresh. Ojonigwu know what I do, many many years in village. Ojonigwu swear. ” I go talk.”
I regret I invite Ojonigwu to my wedding. Abigail say, ” bring one of your family. I point Ojonigwu, I say, “you come.” Ojonigwu, he jealous that God, he remove suffering from my life. He jealous, I marry fine woman. “Abigail know book too much. Abigail, she get plenty money.” I tell Ojonigwu, he jealous. Ojonigwu wan pour sand-sand for my Garri.
One day, I think. Abigail, she no mind I do something bad tey- tey. Abigail, she want man stay with her. Abigail, she want man give her pikin. Abigail,she no mind me do bad-bad thing in village.
We go court. We go church. I marry Abigail. I live in village, my past. I come city. I join security work. I hardworking. I live clean life. I get good wife. If any man and woman, dey inside Jesus, man and woman become new person. Old thing have pass. New thing have come.
Ojonigwu get fault. Ojonigwu no let me gather money plenty. Abigail leave shop for me. 1 week, every time, Ojonigwu call. ” Send me money.” He swear. ” I go call Abigail.” I carry Abigail phone, block Ojonigwu number. Ojonigwu swear. ” I go call her with another number.”
Abigail travel, leave no money for me. I go to shop, staff fight me. No salary. I tell them, call Abigail. Abigail tell them, Clement is manager. He pay you salary. I tell them, no money. Boy carry printer. Girl carry machine laminating. They shout and leave me for shop.
I do manager. No put eyes learn business center work. I stay 1 week, no market. If before, we get papers, files, plenty things to sell. Money come. Now, shop empty. Suppliers no bring materials. No money to buy.
My belle cry for hunger. My eyes turn. I hold table. I call Sylvanus. ” Sylvanus! My wife do me nonsense. She travel. No food. No money.”
Sylvanus say. ” I no get money.” He tell me. ” Carry something and sell in the shop. You go get money from there.”
I carry one small photo printer. Sylvanus and me, we go where to sell. They say, ” bring receipt.” I run to house. I scatter Abigail room. I break cabinet. No receipt. I run back to Sylvanus. He carry me go another place. They buy cheap, cheap. I get small money. I give Sylvanus small.
Three days, money finish. Ojonigwu call me and fight, fight. Ojonigwu, he get big eyes. Ojonigwu, he thief. I block him.
I count day , Abigail will return, 10 days. Too far. Hunger, kill me. I sell big stapler. I sell scanner. I sell small generator.
I send money to Ojonigwu. I warn. ” Don’t, never call me again.” Ojonigwu laugh. ” Only you want enjoy life.”
Abigail come. What I tell her? I sell many many things. I think, think. I tell Abigail, thief enter shop and steal many many things.
TO BE CONTINUED…
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟕
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑴𝑶𝒀𝑶’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽 (𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻’𝑫)
I’ve been married to Dele for 14 years, and I can vouch that those years have been the best years of my life. I can’t deny the fact we’ve had countless challenges but God and love has kept us going. Those things that I saw that made me detest Dele became insignificant when I allowed God to touch my heart about him. I released myself willingly to follow God’s plans for my life, and I have never regretted it.
Back then, knowing that Pastor Alaba was getting married was a big blow to me. I vowed not to attend the wedding. But then, no one would miss my absence. I was just being childish.
When Dele and the others came for the new year get together, I tried as much as possible to avoid him. It was near impossible because Dad expected us to assist mum in serving the guests and seeing to their needs. Dele displayed maturity and did not speak to me at anytime during the get together, though I caught him stealing glances at me at frequent intervals. His looks irritated me.
When they were leaving, Dele drew back while the others made their exit. I and Oyin had started cleaning up the living room. Mum wasn’t in sight. Dad stood by Dele’s side. He cleared his throat and said. ” Sis Abigail, I don’t know if you mind giving me your number.”
It was at the tip of my tongue to say something nasty to him. Dad’s presence didn’t make me do that. Instead, I gave a flimsy excuse and turned away. ” My phone is not here.” I said. Afterwards, I heard Dad telling him that he would give him my number. Infact, they walked hand in hand out of the room. For me, it was a danger sign that dad liked Dele. Though he wouldn’t force his will on me, he was going to pray until something happens.
The day Dad called me and told me that God had spoken to him about Dele, I broke down in tears. I mopped around the room, murmuring on why I couldn’t marry him. At the end of the day, as I settled for the night, I heard that unmistakable gentle whisper that all will be well.
That same night, I cried to God, telling him that though it will not be easy, I was ready to surrender my will to his will. I decided to drop my fears at the foot of the cross in exchange for peace. It was then henceforth that I began to feel free to pray about Dele. Dad indeed gave him my number. When he called twice and I responded coldly, he stopped calling.
After I got the conviction about him, I started praying for him to call again. I feared that maybe I had pushed him away with my unfriendly attitude. I even concluded that one of the sisters in the church must have gotten to him.
When I traveled home during Easter, I was surprised to see Dele’s dad at church. He was neatly dressed and clean shaven. He sat by the side of his wife in the second line of the middle row.I grew to love that old man same way I love my dad, when I became his daughter-in-law. Little did I know that while I was busy castigating Dele’s family, God was working on the head of the house. He died of liver cirrhosis at exactly five years after our wedding. Several years of excessive alcohol consumption had wrecked havoc on his physical body, but we were happy that he took his last breath smiling at the glory that lay ahead.
On Easter Sunday, Dele met me after the service. I discovered that when you open your heart to love someone, all the odd features you see in them will become insignificant. I had already started seeing Dele in a new light. He asked if I would be at the picnic organized by the youths for Easter Monday celebration, and I answered in the affirmative.
I couldn’t wait for Monday to come. Before then, I had to let my parents know that I was going to say yes to Dele. I had expected an outburst from mum. Surprisingly, she only said a silent prayer to my disclosure. God had gone ahead of me to speak to her heart. Honestly, it’s always a bonus when you have parents that are connected to God. My smooth sail in marriage and other areas of my life can’t be dissociated from my parents’ prayers.
That same night, God took me through a journey. In that journey, I discovered that if I had married Pastor Alaba, I might still have had a happy home, but it wouldn’t be as satisfactory as marrying Dele, because Dele was the one that is meant to be by my side through life’s journey. There are different levels of satisfaction in life and in the marital journey. There are some people that you will marry and you will have full satisfaction. There are some that will only give you partial satisfaction, while some spouses will give no satisfaction at all. A husband might not be a drunkard or a womanizer but if he’s not the right man for you, your marriage will only be patch- patch. No marriage is made in heaven but marrying someone that fits into one’s dream and vision is very important. God wanted me to marry someone that would give me full satisfaction. After we got married, I kept on discovering that Dele is the best man for me.
On Easter Monday, I was eager to hear what he had to say. I dressed modestly but neatly. I also made sure that I smelt nice. The moment I sighted Dele, my heart missed a beat. When we later had the time to talk, I gave a nod to his marriage proposal. He was more than elated. From that day, we began to plan and pray for our future together. Funny enough, on that day, I discovered that Dele wasn’t that short, he was just of average height. If I’m not on heels, we could stand side by side and be at the same level. I stopped wearing heels after our wedding.
His family accepted me with open arms. His mum always treated me like a queen. Becoming a part of their family had a great impact on his sisters. Dele’s family became a mission field for me. Though we are still praying for their salvation, we are rest assured that it is just a matter of time. God that saved his parents will also touch his sister’s hearts.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟑𝟖
© Bosede Fagbemi
𝑪𝑳𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
Woman don’t know when man do her good. Abigail no no that I do her good by marry her. Woman stay 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, near 50, no pikin, no husband. She in church, people laugh her, she fight. People talk, she know book, she gather money, no man to marry. What can a woman be happy without man?
Mrs. Ogunkolade call me. ” Bro Clement, you are a good man, marry Abigail.”
I look myself and say, “Clement! You are a lucky man. Abigail is a lucky girl.” I gree to marry her. Now, she get man to stay with her. She happy. Why she do what she do?
Abigail sleep with man and boy. With her mouth, in my ear, I hear. She allow man sleep with her. My head hot like hell fire. My mind say, Clement! Disgrace Abigail. Moyo teach her bad bad things. If you disgrace her, she stop. If you disgrace her, she stop forever.
Reverend say No! Why? He call me in his office and shout. ” Bro Clement, you are stubborn.” He support Abigail. Why support Abigail that do bad thing. Why good pastor support bad thing. He open the bible and talk, “husband! love your wife.” He open bible and no talk that, wife! submit to your husband.
True, I have nothing before I marry Abigail. But, bible say husband, he head the house, as Christ he head the church. Because I am Abigail husband, I head her. I am her ruler. I own her. I own her property. That is how i brought up. That is how I grow up and know.
A man must strong and rule his house with strong hand. Any man that no rule his wife is a mumu. In his life time, I see my father use authority on my mother. He get special whip that he use to beat her when she wrong. He kick and slap her many many times in front of us. My father teach me that a man must bold like lion and strong like stone. The only way that a man can show that he is strong is to hard face for woman.
I have never beat Abigail because I learn in church that it is wrong. But , I slap her two, three times, no bad.
My father tell us boys that all woman have chicken brain. “No allow your woman talk over your talk in the house.
I get no mind to talk marriage to Abigail. I know her for church. I know she old and she no get man. But it no dey my mind to talk to her. I know my level. Who born me? Who dash monkey banana?
One day, as we close for church, Mrs. Ogunkolade call me, come to my house tomorrow. I think she was send me message. I do message for her one, two times before. She carry transport put for my hand. I happy well well. The money plenty. She talk me to take Uber. I carry bus go her house.
I happy the way she welcome me. For my mind, I know she send me special message. She give me plenty food and wine. She even pack food for leather, I eat when I go home. Before, she no allow me enter her parlour. All the time, I stay compound to get message. That day, I balance for chair and do like special visitor.
I put fry rice for mouth. She ask me big question. I drop spoon, open mouth, look at her.
” Mama! What you say?” I ask.
She say, ” You like to live this kind life from now?”
I open eye. ” This kin life? Who for dash me?” I ask.
She talk that I can live this kin life.
Wetin this woman mean? I fear she will ask me do bad bad things. I no trust any man or woman, even if I know her for church.
She ask if I know Abigail.
I talk say I know Abigail. Who know know Abigail for church? Fine woman. I pity her, she no get husband but, I think, she carry her life do nonsense. Any woman, no marry, carry her life do nonsense.
Mrs Ogunkolade smile because I say Abigail, fine woman. I turn my head and shame. I know fine thing now. I surprise. Mama talk that she happy that I like Abigail.
I turn and look her. I say i like her? No! I say she fine. Like different from fine. She fine but she old. She do bad bad things and no husband.
She ask me what I feel if Abigail ask me to marry her.
Me? I point my chest. Haaa. Who be me? She dey up. I dey down. How sky and land go ever meet ?
She insist Abigail like me. She say she no mind be my wife. She shy to come to me. I look myself laugh, wonder if I dream.
Mrs Ogunkolade not leave me one minute. She buy me cloth. She give me money. I ask her why she interested in me and Abigail join. She say she sorry for Abigail, she old no husband. I start to think it good if I marry her. But I fear that Mrs. Ogunkolade lie because Abigail, not look my side.
One day, Abigail say, me, enter her motor. I surprise when she say wedding, two weeks. Just one night, my life change.
After we marry, I discover that Abigail too free with man. Man visit her come house. Man follow her in office. Man greet her too much in church. I jealous because Abigail fine and man can steal her from me.
In the village, my papa call me and say, Clement! No trust woman. No allow your wife jump from one man to one man. If your wife sleep with plenty man, she kill you. Man can get wife and get concubine. Woman must stay with only her husband.”
Before my brother leave Ibadan after our wedding, he call me one side and draw my ear. ” Clement!” He shout, with his eyes shine like dog that see bone. ” Your wife too fine. You dey lucky. No allow another man take her from you.”
I’m feel like die when I see that Abigail follow the fine doctor with gap teeth. I beg my friend Sylvanus to follow am and he tell me that doctor is man-widow. ” Eeeeei!” I shout. ” Man-widow will steal Abigail. I fear to go back and do security work if Abigail no marry me again.
After small time, she tell me she pregnant. I happy well well. No responsible man sleep with pregnant woman, not his wife. With belle, I think I tie Abigail down. I nearly faint when I hear from her mouth that belle get k- leg.
I swear, me, Clement Atabo go teach her lesson. For her life, never never, she will no sleep with man and boy again. I remain in marriage but I will teach her lesson.
TO BE CONTINUED
A man that has no respect and value for women will never honour and respect his wife.
Guage him while you are still courting, how much respect does he have for his mother, sisters and other females?
Again I say, a man that has odd beliefs about women will have no iota of respect for his wife
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟯𝟵
©Bosede Fagbemi
Time heals all wounds is a true saying. However, not every wound, heals at the same time. Healing depends on the cause and the extent of a wound, as well as the presence of factors that promote healing.
After my bitter experiences, my physical wound began to heal, and did so in record time. I ensured that I used all my prescribed medications, ate well and adhered to the regulations given at my discharge. While I was healed physically, It wasn’t same for my emotion. It often seemed as if I was on a seesaw. One moment I’m up, the next moment I’m down. There were times that I felt happy to be alive. At other times, my mood nosedived and I wanted to end it all.
I stayed mostly at home. I did not have the courage to face the world yet. I wondered at how I would react, if I see women that we were pregnant at the same time holding their babies. It might be too traumatic for me.
Because my home environment was toxic, staying at home did not help me much. Moyo did all she could to draw me out, but I told her point blank that I was not yet ready to face the world.
From the day that Reverend counseled Clement at the church, he started giving me the silent treatment. Clement began to treat me like a Jew would treat an unclean animal. He hardly spoke to me except on necessity. He visited our bedroom whenever he had the urge to satisfy his manly need. Even with me still having the discomfort from the CS scar, I allowed him have his way at countless times.
It’s an unshakeable truth that I brought myself into the Union with Clement. No one forced me in anyway, so I should be ready to face the music; till death do us part. If we had courted and I has discovered the kind of person Clement is, if I had been cautious before taking the rash step that landed me in an impromptu and a regrettable marriage, I will not be saying this. I wish I could turn back the hands of the clock, and do and undo some things, but it’s always too late to cry when the head is off.
Though Clement saw me as an unclean person, he did not stop eating my food. He would eat and demand for more. We only communicated at food and sex time.
Clement looked vindictive, as if he was planning something bad in his mind against me. I had caught him casting wicked glances at me on several occasions. I wished I could read into his mind and know his thoughts.
One day, I got a visit from one of my male senior colleagues. Clement wasn’t in when the visitor came but returned when he was about to leave. Immediately the man left, Clement charged at me.
” You start again. You bring man to house. Reverend side you. He don’t know what you are do.”
Breathing deeply, I responded to him. ” Clement!” I called. “Prof. Bello is a senior colleague at work. He only came to see how I’m doing. There’s nothing attached to his visit.”
” That is what you are say.” Clement moved closer to me. ” That is what you are say and sleep with doctor.”
” Clement!” I cried. ” You don’t have to keep referring to that, anytime we have an issue. Agreed,I made a mistake. I have sought for forgiveness. I don’t even talk to Segun anymore. He has remarried.”
” He’s no marry. He’s a man-widow.” Clement shouted.
Despite the situation, I almost bursted out in laughter. Man-widow ke? ” He was a widower.” I corrected Clement. ” He has remarried.” I insisted. ” I met him with his heavily pregnant wife at the market.”
Clement shook his head. ” Not my business. I don’t want you with man or boy at all.”
” Then, be ready to keep me in a cage.” I responded angrily. ” I’m ready to abide by your rule of not relating with men, but that will only be possible if I don’t step out of this house for any reason. With the nature of my job, I have no choice but work with different kinds of men, that doesn’t mean that I’m having anything untoward with them. I’m a woman of high moral value and integrity.”
” Leave job. Do Job in shop.” Clement blurted out.
” She bobo yi gbadun Sha.” I said under my breath. Leave my job? For what?
Clement asked me to quit my job because of his insecurity. A job that I cherish and enjoy. I had risen through the ranks and was gradually approaching the professorial rank. How do I explain to my husband that my job meant a lot to me? Would he even understand. I should have thought about this before marrying Clement. Too much regrets.
Truth be told, it is not all men that you can lift up as a woman. There are men that will always pull you down because they have no single grain of greatness in them. Their warped mentality and attitude will always keep them down.
” If I quit my job, what will we be feeding on?” I asked Clement. ” The business center has not been doing well since I handed it over to you. I decided not to interfere again because you always fight me whenever I ask about the shop. I guess you must be joking about quiting my job anyway.”
” You leave job. We face shop.” Clement insisted. ” You are stay with me. I see you everyday. No man visit you. We trust God, he is providing.”
I didn’t know what to say again to make Clement to understand that I could never quit my job for anything. At that point, I got weary and felt a sudden need to leave my home environment. I needed a breath of fresh air. As I made to move, Clement barked at me. ” You leave me, I standing here. No respect.”
” Clement, I’m sorry. I need a breath of fresh air.”
He grabbed my hand. ” I still talk. You leave your University work. Bible say wife, obey your husband.”
” Are you serious at all?” I asked, removing my hand from his grip.
He nodded. ” Yes! We work in shop together.”
I smiled and responded in a calm voice. ” It’s not possible and it will never happen.”
” Then I tell everybody that you sleeping with man and boy. I go to church. I go to University. I …”
” Are you trying to blackmail me?” I cried. ” What have I done to deserve this from you? On a normal ground, you should be treating me like a queen because of what God has used me to do in your life. At first I despised you but not anymore. I have accepted you with open arms. You sleep with me. You eat my food. I treat you with respect. Clement, I have given you a chance at a good life and you shouldn’t reward me with ungratefulness. Please! give me peace of mind and I will continue to be a good wife to you. By the way, you are not too old to go back to school. You can still make something better out of your life. What I have achieved you can also achieve. Why are you trying to bring me down? You are my husband. Please, let’s work together.”
” I no work together if you no obey me.”
” In what?” I asked.
” Leave the job you do with man and boy.”
” And become what? I’m sorry. It’s not possible. I can’t quit my job for you. Never!”
Clement shrugged. ” Then I spoil your name. I talk in church…”
” Go ahead Clement.” I threw at him. ” Do the worst.”
He moved closer to me and raised his fist. I was fast to grab his raised fist. Looking directly into his eyes, I warned. ” Don’t try it.”
I saw fear crept into his eyes. Dropping my hand, I turned, picked my phone, and left the living room. As soon as I got outside, I called Moyo. My voice quivered as I spoke to her. I needed her to come and pick me.
When I returned home later at night, Clement had slept. I stayed late into the night, thinking of what to do with my life. I feared that I wouldn’t live long if Clement refused to change. I pitied women like me, that married men like Clement. How are they coping?
My mind went to Abigail in the bible. No wonder she made that horrible statement about her husband. She must have lived a very hard life in his household, his affluence not withstanding. 1Sam.25.25 – Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him…
In the confines of my room, I asked God if it is possible that Clement would change. I began to see that it will be easy for someone that is not a believer to change, than for Clement, that claimed to know God, but had an horrible character to change.
God hates divorce, I know. However, I needed answers. What could I do to my kind of marriage. I feared that I might drop dead one day because of the stress from my husband.
In my mind, I developed a great burden to reach out to single sisters that are waiting on God for marriage partners. It is very important that they don’t make the kind of mistake that I made. Same goes for brothers looking for wives. Watchfulness is very important. They should look before they leap and not jump into marriage with just anybody. That a person goes to church doesn’t mean they will make good husbands or wives.
My problem with Clement wasn’t about education, far from it. There are countless families that the wives are more educated and richer than the husband, and they are living fine. I was willing to humble myself and raise my husband to my standard, but he would only have it his way.
After thinking back and forth, I got exhausted and fell into a troubled sleep. And I dreamt.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟐
© Bosede Fagbemi
The moment I stepped into Rehoboth Singles’ and Couples’ Home, I knew I was in the right place. There was a kind of tranquility that enveloped the environment. I felt at peace.
RS&CH is a place with a perfect physical and a comfortable spiritual setting. I knew it must have taken the owners several years to achieve that. The physical environment was breathtaking and natural. There are flowers everywhere. A spring runs through the center. The architectural design is superb and the setting is classic.
The workers were well trained and polite. And when I met the couples that owned the centers, I was amazed. I had expected to see an elderly man, with his equally old wife. Maybe a couple that had gone all gray, with their glasses perched across their noses, and their hands holding unsteadily to their walking sticks. The owners of RS&CH were probably in mid-age. They were neatly dressed, articulate and accommodating. Add humbleness to that.
They were into full time Gospel ministry; dedicated to helping both singles and married find purpose, either in singleness or marriage. This they combined with the hospitality industry.
The place was comfy. There was good foods and drinks. The accomodations were top notch. There is a chapel where devotion is held every morning. There are also prayer rooms designed for the use of individuals. Books written by Pastor Caleb& Pastor Elizabeth are on display all times at the reception.
The couple provided counseling to people that are in need of them. I learnt a very big lesson from their lives. When married people jointly work together, it makes their life journey easier and faster. Unity in marriage is like an accelerator that propels the family to greatness. The more the unity, the faster the journey. The reverse is always the case when there is disunity. Amos3:3- Can two work together except they agree?
When I first got to the center, I was just satisfied with the peace and tranquility of the environment. I wished I could stay there forever. Day by day, I would attend the daily devotion in the morning and utilize one of the prayer rooms for meditation in the evening. After a while, I developed a desire to have a session with Pastor Elizabeth. Therefore, I booked an appointment to see her. My appointment did not go through until the 5th day; that was 4 days to the end of my stay. I had feared that I wouldn’t be able to have a 1:1 session with Pastor Elizabeth. I made up my mind that I wouldn’t mind spending a week more to see her.
She was all smiles when I entered her neat, beautifully decorated and highly organized office.
” I had thought that I will not be able to see you.” I told her.
” You must have been waiting for quiet a while.”
I smiled. ” Five days.”
” I have specific number of people that I counsel on daily basis. Some I do together with my husband. Others, I do alone. It depends on what the counselee wants or need. It’s a rule, we don’t exceed specific numbers. That is because, we try as much as possible to balance work, family, and our health.
” I see.” I nodded.
” So why do you need counseling?” She asked.
I tabled my issue before pastor Elizabeth. I studied her face. She actually felt for me. ” Where is your husband now?” She asked after my narration.
” He’s at home.”
” I wish he’s here with you.”
” Getting away from him is one of the reasons I decided to come here. By the way, I doubt if Clement would even agree to come with me if I had invited him.”
” Why?”
I shrugged. ” He doesn’t believe he has a problem. He’s a kind of person that hardly takes correction.”
” I can see that you’ve gone through a lot.” Pastor Elizabeth said. ” Can we pray?” She took my hands. ” Father!” She began. ” Give your daughter peace. Give her peace. Give her peace in Jesus name.” She dropped my hands and said. ” God will give you peace.”
She had no other word for me. I was disappointed. I had expected that she would tell me to do this and that, list steps for me to take to have a better home and life. Pastor Elizabeth saw the disappointment on my face and smiled.
She said. ” For every challenge, there are specific steps to solutions. We don’t just counsel people, we work based on the directives of the Holy Spirit. There are people that will come here and I’ll tell them what to do outrightly. For your case, I’m trusting God to teach us what to do. We will not want to take any wrong step. I’ll keep you on our prayer list, hoping that God will guide us on what to do.”
A day to when I would leave the center, I woke up with a deep and burning desire to pray. Leaving my room, I headed to the chapel, not even the prayer room. I laid on the altar and began to pour out my heart to God. It had been long that I prayed that kind of prayer. I was still on the altar when the morning devotion started. No one disturbed me or asked me to leave the altar.
At a point, I sensed someone walking towards me. I was prompted to my feet. Pastor Elizabeth hugged me tightly and began to prophesy into my life. She kept repeating that God will give me peace. Before she left, she asked me to see her and gave me specific instructions. She warned me not to fight my husband if I want God to unravel the mystery surrounding my marriage, and give me peace. She also touched on my family. Because of me,God will go into my family lineage and uproot every evil tree. He will destroy every altar of dissappointment and rejection. She said I should tell my mum to keep praying. God will grant her heart desires. For my siblings, they can only only partake of the blessings of deliverance if they come to God in genuine repentance
I entered into RS&CH with a heavy burden. By the time I left, I was lighter, both in my body and spirit. I left my cares at the foot of the cross. Matthew 11:28-30
Mama noticed a change in me when I got to the village. I was more relaxed and smiled more. I also looked happier. I had even added a bit of weight.
Throughout my stay in the village, I ensured that I did not spend a day without praying with mama. Every 12 midnight, we were on our knees. Comfort started joining us on the 3rd day. I spoke to her about returning to her husband before I left the village. She promised to give it a thought.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟑
© Bosede Fagbemi
After spending a week with Mama, I returned to Ibadan. I was happy to be back home. I felt better than when I left. Since I was coming from the village, I took a public transport and went directly home. I called Moyo that I had arrived.
The first thing that I noticed on entering the bedroom was that, the cabinet where I kept receipts and other stuffs had been forced open. I was very meticulous about keeping documents. My receipts were always kept in batches. Ask me of receipts of years back and I will produce them. Many of the receipts were on the floor. Some had flown across the room. Definitely, nobody but Clement must have tampered with them.
When I asked him about the receipts, he flared up and charged at me as usual. Instead of getting angry and matching fire for fire, I smiled and stepped back, remembering pastor Elizabeth instruction. ” Don’t fight your husband.”
I had long realized that success in life is directly related to keeping to instructions. If you buy a new appliance, you cannot get the best of it except you follow the instructions on how to go about using it. The children of Israel wouldn’t have triumphed over Jericho if they had not obeyed God to the letter.Joshua 6:1-20.
It will cost me nothing to obey the simple instruction. However, I needed to know why the cabinet was broken. What was Clement searching for? I asked gently for the 2nd time. ” Why did you break my cabinet?”
Clement couldn’t give a tangible answer. Instead, he averted his gaze and walked away. I became alarmed. Clement must have done something bad. Did he try to sell any of my valuables? I frantically sought for the car documents. It was in an inner safe. I packed all the receipts and moved them to a safe with a better lock. Picking my car key, I called Moyo that I would meet her at the school.
Clement rushed after me and shouted. ” You no cook for me?”
” When I return. Surely, I will cook for you.” I responded.
Moyo was happy to see me. I was happier, because we could go home together. Her car was faulty and it was Dele that dropped her at work. I begged that we branch the shop together. I told her about the receipt issue and what I think Clement was trying to do.
When I got to the shop, I gasped at the situation I met. My shop looked like a place that had not been used in a long time. If I was a customer, I wouldn’t care to patronize there. No wonder Clement had been crying of low patronage. And where are the staff? Several items were missing and I noted them down. It now made sense that Clement broke into my cabinet. Probably, he needed the receipts to dispose off those items.
I began to boil with anger but felt a restraint in my spirit. I murmured. ” It’s the calabash that will indicate where to tie rope on it.”
Turning to Moyo, I said. ” I don’t feel like going home now.”
” Of course, we are not going home yet.” She replied. ” There’s women fellowship today. Let’s go to church.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟰𝟰
© Bosede Fagbemi
Because I had not been in church for quite a while, it felt strange being in the midst of the women. I was somewhat apprehensive and braced myself for whatever might come my way. I knew how our people usually react when a sad incident has happened to a member and that person is back in church for the first time. I was prepared to meet both genuine and fake sympathizers. I was sure to meet women that would be happy to see me and welcome me genuinely. For some, their only mission would be to reopen my old wound. They might likely want to hear the full gist of how the accident happened and how I lost my baby, direct from the horse’s mouth. The world is full of unsympathetic sympathizers and a good number of them are found in the church.
The women fellowship program had started before we got in. That was a good advantage. With my head raised, I moved to a seat, settled in and steadily focused on the person coordinating the program from the front. Several curious glances shifted attention to me. I kept my gaze fixed to the front. To avoid the end of program rush and women hovering over me like ant on sugar when we close, I had a ready plan of disappearing out of the church before the end of the closing prayer and grace.
I’d been seated for about 20 minutes when I felt a hand tap me from the back. I turned and came eyeball to eyeball with the wife of the senior pastor. Same woman that visited the house with her husband at my discharge. I smiled at her. She smiled back and requested that we meet outside. I whispered to Moyo that Reverend’s wife wanted to see me. She gave me a surprised look and asked. ” For what?”
I shrugged.
Reverend’s wife took me to one of the classrooms by the side of the church. She smiled as we both settled side by side at the back. Her smiled looked plastic. I was both pissed off and uncomfortable with it. ” You are welcome back to church Sis Abigail.” She started.
” Thank you ma.” I replied. I’m glad to be back. I appreciate your support at my challenging moments. God bless you ma.”
“Amen.” She responded. ” It is our responsibility as shepherds to take care of the flock. I’m happy that you appreciate our effort. More reason why I called you here to have a heart to heart discussion with you. But before then, I still want to ask if you are fully recovered.”
I adjusted in my seat and nodded. ” Yes. I am fully recovered and…restored.”
” Emotionally, physically and spiritually?”
I nodded again. ” Sure.”
She took a deep breath. I knew something I wouldn’t like was coming and I quickly told myself. Whatever, Abigail! stay calm but bold. There’s nothing coming from up that the ground can’t take.
Reverend’s wife pouted, looked into the distance and asked. ” Are you sure you are fully recovered?”
” Of course I am.”
” I had thought that you will need a little counseling. Just a bit.” She made a sign with her right hand.
“Well.” I narrowed my eyes. ” I don’t know what you have in mind. What kind of counseling?”
” Just a little counseling. If not for the loss, then for the other issue.”
” What other issue?” I asked and thrusted my chin forward. Reverend’s wife stood up and retied her wrapper. She seemed uncomfortable. Looking into the distance, she said. ” The infidelity case that your husband complained about. You will…”
” What about it?” I asked in a slightly raised voice. So, that is what all this is about.” I muttered. I felt my temper rising and I took deep breaths to stay calm and steady. I had told myself that I wouldn’t allow anyone steal my peace. I wouldn’t get unnecessarily angry as well. ” What about it?” I asked again in a calmer tone.
” You need to be counseled.” She repeated and picked her glasses. With the glasses perched atop the bridge of her nose, she picked her phone and opened the bible app. She spoke slowly. “The bible says in the book of Galatians 6: 1 that if anyone of us is found in a fault, we should correct same in love. Correction is very important in the Christiandom. That is what I’m trying to do, especially because you belong to the women fellowship. Many women look up to you and so, you musn’t be found wanting. That was the major reason I was too disappointed at what happened.”
I weighed what Reverend’s wife was saying in my mind and shook my head. I knew that in her eyes, I had become tainted by the singular act of adultery with Segun. Even though God had forgiven me, my husband claimed that he had forgiven me and I had also forgiven myself, the SAINTS will still need to COUNSEL me because to them, I am a tainted sinner. It is only their counseling that can restore me But my question was, why didn’t she initiate the ‘so called counseling’ before I resumed to church? Why now? Is there an ulterior motive of trying to downgrade me before other women?
I raised my index finger like a primary school pupil and asked. ” Is the Reverend aware of this?”
” This is solely for the women fellowship. I call the shots here.”
” I see! So what do you have in mind mummy?”
” I’m thinking of a 3 month intensive counseling session with me and some other women leaders. How about that?”
I smiled. ” Why not make it 6 months?”
Reverend’s wife did not get the sarcasm in my voice. She smiled. ” I will talk to some of the deaconesses and a few other leaders, but I think 3 months will be okay.”
” And what will you tell them is the basis for the long counseling?”
“Well…”
” I guess you will tell them that Sis Abigail broke her marital vow and defiled her matrimonial bed. You will equally say I wasn’t sure of the father of the baby that l lost. Maybe you should add that even though God has forgiven me, by your own human standard, I still need to be ridiculed in the name of a so called, ‘counseling’.”
I saw fear in her eyes. ” You cannot continue to be a leader if you don’t go by the rules.” She said in a shaky voice.
” What rule? I asked. ” Is it the one given by your husband, stating that the issue should die between the four of us present on the day you got to know about my one night misdemeanor, or the one you are giving now?”
” It doesn’t matter. What I’m doing is for your good. I will let the other leaders know so that they can make out time…”
” Don’t try it!” I stood up and moved closer to her. She stepped back. Maybe she thought I was going to slap her the way I did to Tabitha .
” It has not gotten to that.” She said in a shaky voice.
” If I hear a word on that issue in any other mouth apart from the people that already know, I’m going to involve my lawyer and sue your for defamation of character.”
Reverend’s wife opened her eyes wide. I guessed she was surprised but not surprised. Abigail has always pulled surprises.
She quickly moved towards the door as if she was scared that I might harm her. Now at the door, she turned back and glowered at me. ” Since you refuse to play by the rules, I suggest that you stay away from the women fellowship until I decide on what to do with you, starting from today.”
Well, I heard her but refused to yield. I had since decided that I will refuse to allow people trample on my right again. If decide to be in church, then I will stay in church and no pastor’s wife will push me out. Therefore, I followed mummy into the church and returned to where I had earlier sat. A lively discussion was going on and I joined in. From where she sat, I could see her fuming and throwing daggers at me with her eyes. It wasn’t surprising that I was relieved of my bible study coordinator post in the women fellowship by the following week.
When I told Moyo about what happened, she gave me a thumb up for standing up for myself.
” So, you are not angry that I threatened the pastor’s wife.” I said.
” Why would I?” She said. ” It’s high time people start standing up to bullies in the church, who are fond of using man-made laws to molest people and score cheap points. I know for sure that the whole saga wasn’t because she was concerned about your spiritual growth. If it was that, she wouldn’t go about it the way she did.”
” I think that all along, she knew that I wasn’t going to dance to her tune. She had an ulterior motive. She has stopped answering to my greetings. I won’t stop greeting her anyway.”
I did not stop greeting her. At a point, I was too sure that she was avoiding me. She never mentioned the counseling issue again. Possibly, she was scared that I could make good my threat and sue her if she dare divulge the information she knew to anyone. She couldn’t even report me to my husband. But even if she did, I doubted if he would have listened to her. Clement was fighting a battle by then, and was looking for all means to manipulate me.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟓
© 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐠𝐛𝐞𝐦𝐢
” I go tell all man, woman, what you do if you are not give me money.”
That was my husband threatening to expose my past deed if I didn’t give him a lump sum of money that he requested for.
” Stale news.” I responded. ” Do you know what? Clement! I no more care if you tell the whole world that I commited adultery. When you tell people tales, those that will believe will believe, and those that will not believe will not. It will not add or remove anything from me.”
Clement stood with his mouth agape. He was surprised at my response. Maybe he expected something different. ” So you are not give me money. You know I not work.” He said.
” That’s not my fault. I gave you a means of livelihood but you couldn’t maintain the shop. I have made up my mind that I won’t give you a dime if you don’t say where the missing items in the shop are. I will not be doing you good if I keep giving you money, when you can’t take responsibility for your actions. You are a grown man. Have you forgotten what the bible says, that any man that can’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel. You have to be more responsible.”
” So, what I do now?” He asked.
” My advice is that you start going to the shop. You can’t sit from morning till night at the shop and not get people that will want to make photocopy or something else. We have 3 functioning photocopiers. The shop is in a strategic area. There will always be something to do. If the worst come to worst, you could move out of the shop and source for customers outside. You are sure to earn enough to spend and save to replace the missing items in the shop. As for me, I will keep feeding and clothing you. Nothing more.”
” Abigail! You wicked.”
Clement said and charged at me. I stood my ground, looking at him directly in the eyes. ” Don’t try it.” I warned. ” The man that came yesterday was here to fix cameras around the house. If you touch me, I will report you for domestic violence and assault. You know what that means. There will be enough evidence to show that you assaulted me.”
Clement stood at a spot. He must be thinking of how I had changed. Well, I needed to sustain my new found peace and it involved tactically standing against BULLIES without fighting. I was no more the desperate lady that wanted to get married at all cost. I had learnt life’s lessons in the hardway and henceforth, I just wanted to be happy.
I was still praying that God would unravel the mystery surrounding my marriage as he promised. I was also praying that he would give Clement a changed heart. Take it or leave it, all things being equal, he remained my husband. It was obvious that I made a mistake by marrying him, but where do I push him to? He remained like a rock in my house. It will be difficult pushing Clement out. At the same time, I will not like to be jumping from one marital home to the other. At what age? My health condition is there. I might not be able carry a pregnancy to term as stated by the doctors. Would I hide that from whosoever I choose to marry if I leave Clement? If getting a spouse while I was younger was difficult, what will make it easier now that I’m almost 50?
I had started praying about adopting a child. I was going to present it to Clement. If I wouldn’t have my own biological children, adoption will be a good option. There are countless children around that need people to give them love and parental care, and I had loads of love to give.
Clement didn’t stop pestering me for money. I stood my ground and he decided to change his tactics.
One day, he threatened that he would go back to his security job just to spite me, if I keep insisting on not giving him money. As usual, he was surprised at my response. ” That will be a good development.” I said. ” At least, it will keep you busy and make you have something to contribute to the upkeep of the home. I’m in full support.”
” You are not shame that man, woman call your husband security man?” He asked.
” Are security men not humans? Is the job not better than stealing? Whereas, most people knew that it was what you were doing before we got married. Now, you will just be a security man with class. Clement the security man, husband to Professor Abigail.”
I knew that Clement was only bluffing, he wouldn’t tread that path. And if he did, I cared less. People could say whatever they want to say.
With each passing day, Clement got more agitated for money. Several times, his phone would ring and he would rush out to pick his call. I sensed that he was hiding something from me. Could that be the mystery surrounding my marriage? Anyhow, life had taught me to wear patience like a garment. I knew things would get clearer with time.
I had stylishly taken the shop key from Clement. On the day I retrieved it, I had told him that I wanted to go to the shop to take inventory of things. He must have thought that I was going to replace the missing items in the shop. With his level of agitation over money, I doubted if Clement wouldn’t sell himself for a morsel of bread. Before he would think of disposing the other things in the shop, I took inventory and changed all the locks.
I had resumed work while Clement stayed mostly at home. He would sleep, wake, bath, sleep and go back to sleep. At least, he had constant food and a roof over his head. One day, I returned from work and met him pacing around the living room. He looked like a bull that was ready to lunch an attack on someone.
” Why you change lock in shop?” He screamed.
” I just felt like changing it for security purpose.”
” Give me the new key.” He commanded.
” What do you want to do with them?” I asked as I took two steps back.
“I talk, give me the key.” His eyes were shut tight in anger. His right hand was stretched forward.
I had anticipated what he could do and had a ready plan in place. Acting as if I was going to get the keys, I got into the bedroom, bolted the door from within, then used the room key to double lock. I could hear Clement shouting that he will break down the door. I equally shouted back that I will call the police. He went silent.
By the next day, I started getting calls from a private number. It was both scary and weird. The person would call and refuse to speak. While I was still pondering on what to do about the calls, Mrs. Ogunkolade visited unexpectedly.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟔
© 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐠𝐛𝐞𝐦𝐢
I was surprised to see Mrs. Ogunkolade and couldn’t hide it. She had remained distant to me since the day that I and Clement got married. At a time, I concluded that she was avoiding me. From the grapevine, I had heard that she had gone to the states to care for her daughter-in-law that put to birth. I’m not a kind of person that forces relationship so, Mrs. Ogunkolade had gone down my list of acquittances.
However, when she decided to visit on that morning, I welcomed her warmly. Clement had gone out to God knows where. I was alone in the house. Maybe my eyes were deceiving me, but Mrs. Ogunkolade didn’t look like the same posh woman that I knew. Her dressing was not shabby but not classy as well. She looked unkempt and stressed. When she spoke, her voice was shaky and ladened with emotion. With my palms under my chin, I wondered at the transformation.
” I have been away for almost a year now.” She said. ” My daughter-in -law put to birth and I went to take care of her, then other things happened.”
” Oh that’s great.” I said. How are you doing ma? What can I offer you? Coffee or tea? I guess you wouldn’t want juice this early.”
” God bless you my daughter.” She said. ” A cup of black coffee will do. No sugar please.”
I offered her what she wanted and returned to sit opposite her. I was still blank as to the reason for her visit. It couldn’t just be a casual one. She looked like someone that had a lot on her mind and needed to offload. I was right.
After taking a few sips from the coffee, Mrs. Ogunkolade made a move that took me by surprise. She dropped on her knees and started begging me.
“Iya ma kobami,” I murmured . It is a taboo in my culture for an elder to kneel for a younger person. Swiftly, I knelt directly opposite her and pleaded with her to stand up. ” Ema sebe ma. It is wrong. No matter what, you shouldn’t be kneeling for me.”
” Let me kneel.” She responded. ” Moti se o, moti se eleda re. I have offended you and offended God. I can only get peace of mind if you forgive me.”
What is she talking about? Anyways, by fire by force, I made her sit back on the sofa, reassuring her that no matter what she might have done, I had already forgiven her.
Reluctantly, she sat back on the sofa. Looking at her closely, I noticed that she had lost weight. The old age that make up was covering all this while had become visible. Her cheek bones had become gaunt and prominent. Her jawline had dropped. Even without hearing her story, I pitied her.
She was about to start talking when Clement rushed into the house. If he saw Mrs. Ogunkolade, he didn’t acknowledge her. Instead, he rushed into the room. Suddenly, I had a push that I should follow him. I did and caught Clement rummaging through my handbag. He was searching for money. He already took some cash and my ATM card. I stretched forth my hand. ” My card and my money. Now!”
Clement went on his knees. That was the second person kneeling for me same day. The first was an abomination. For the second kneeling, I accepted it with my full chest. So Clement could be this humble.
He put his palms together and begged. ” Abigail, I beg. I need money.”
” For what?” I asked. ” I feed and cloth you. You are not paying house rent. Why are you always in need of money. Are you doing drugs? Is someone blackmailing you? You sold so many things in the shop. Till today, you can’t pinpoint what you did with the money. Now, you are trying to steal from me.”
” I am borrow. I am not steal. My brother Ojonigwu, he sick in the village. He need money for operation. I look, look, look. I get no man woman. I get only you.”
He got me there. ” Are you serious?” I asked. “You mean brother Ojonigwu is sick and you didn’t tell me till now? What kind of man are you?”
” I fear. You tell me, I lie. I sorry.”
” It’s okay. For how long has he been sick? Can I speak to him? I don’t know why is number is never connecting whenever I call.”
“Sickness, very serious. Ojonigwu, no talk. Ojonigwu, he concosious.”
” Concosious! You mean unconscious?”
” Yes! Concosious.”
” You should have spoken before now. How much is needed for the surgery?”
Clement scratched his head. ” Money is plenty.”
” Like how much?” I asked irritably.
” Operation, hospitu, medicine…150,000″
” I will transfer 200,000 to you. Make sure you send it directly to him. Maybe you should start thinking of traveling to see him.”
Clement shook his head. ” I send money. No travel. I call all the time. I pray. Ojonigwu, no die”
The moment I stepped out of the room, I felt it within me that Clement might be lying. But there was no way I could contact Ojonigwu. His number hasn’t been going through for ages. But what if Clement wasn’t lying. What if Bro. Ojonigwu end up dying if I refuse to offer help. I will never forgive myself if it happens that way.
Because I had promised,I transferred 200,000 to Clement and hoped that it would be enough. It wasn’t like I was plucking money from a tree. The shop that was bringing me extra cash had become nonfunctional courtesy of Clement. I had already thought of getting two new hands and putting things in shape without Clement’s knowledge. Before now, I detested taking visiting lecturing jobs but might result to it to keep myself afloat and get extra cash.
I had almost forgotten that I left Mrs. Ogunkolade in the living room. She was dozing when I got to her. She looked tired and I felt sorry for her.
” I’m sorry for keeping you waiting ma.” I said.
” It’s okay. How is he? I mean your husband. I saw him pass. Is everything okay?”
That was the first time she was asking about him that morning. One shouldn’t have expect that from a genuine matchmaker.
I was surprised at her next statement. ” You shouldn’t have married Clement.”
I looked at her quizzically and nodded. ” I know. I made a mistake.”
” My son wanted to marry you. I made sure that it never happened. Maybe I will not be in this present situation if I had allowed it.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟕
© 𝐁𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐠𝐛𝐞mi
MRS OGUNKOLADE’S POV
I regretted what I did to Abigail, but that was mainly because the issue backfired, making me a failure . As a mother, I was only looking out for my son by not wanting him to marry Abigail. When has looking out for yours become a sin? I wanted a young,fresh and vibrant wife for my son. Abigail did not fit into that description.
Mayowa is my first and only son. He has 3 sisters. They lived in the US; all our children. We could afford to train them in the States. The girls didn’t leave Nigeria until they were ready for UNI. For the only boy and the heir apparent, he had been in US since he started high school.He had never returned to Nigeria since then. He stayed with a guardian until he clocked 18. We always visited him every 3 months.
Mayowa was a unique boy; so different from his sisters. He had an amiable personality. He was gentle, kind and considerate. Despite being faraway, we were close. He had a good job, bought houses and was comfortable. We invested for him in Nigeria. Mayowa turned out to be a kind of son that every parent would want to have.
However, something had always given me sleepless night about him, his unmarried state. His sisters were all married and bearing kids. Mayowa had not been able to settle down with a woman and start a family. He had introduced countless women either online or whenever I or the father visited the states. His relationship never lasted. Mayowa will always say that they broke up at a point.
My fear heightened when he was still unmarried at 42. Mayowa was somehow soft and ladies were taking advantage of him. Being male, we needed his offspring to carry on the family name. I personally wanted to see his children before my maker calls me home.
One day, Mayowa fully opened up to me about his difficulty with women. After plenty discussions, I was able to extract a promise from him that he would visit Nigeria during summer and possibly get someone that might eventually end up as his wife. I was too sure that I was going to play a major role in actualizing that.
I began my homework looking for a suitable partner for Mayowa. I wanted a girl from a good family that is well educated and will be obedient to my son. I wanted someone that had lived a clean life and will be able to produce children. That girl must be a professional that is hardworking. She must be beautiful and attractive enough to be able to catch his attention at the first glance. I also wanted someone who could cook and would make my son comfortable, a wife that will not become a thorn in his flesh when he takes her abroad.
I already got someone when Mayowa came around. Titilope was a shy, fair, petite beauty who just finished youth service. She was at the verge of clocking thirty. I knew her parents and siblings, they were good people. I spoke to her parents and they were happy about my plan.
We made arrangement. Titilope was going to visit me by the first week of Mayowa’s arrival. We will make it look like she was running an errand for her mother. I will push them together and things will move from there.
So, I was disappointed when Mayowa came to me the very day Titi was to visit, smiling and talking about a lady he met in Church. He was facially bright and elated, and could hardly contain his excitement as he spoke. ” I think I found my wife in church.” He said.
My heart dropped. ” What did you mean that you found your wife in church?” I asked in a controlled voice.
Mayowa had insisted that he was following me to church that day. I was happy that he was excited about going to church. That meant that he hadn’t abandoned the Christian faith even while away from home.
” I hardly get time to go to church in Texas.” He said.
” Why?” I asked.
” We don’t go to the church, we go to the pub on Sundays.”
” You too?”
” Once in a while, church could be really boring. Though recently, I got an African church close to my house. They remind me so much of home. We do a lot of dancing and singing and the pastor preaches about sin and other stuffs. I’ve not been missing church since I joined them.”
Mayowa followed me to church and said he was blessed. He said that he wished he could stay back in Nigeria. ” I like it here.” He said. ” I feel more at home. Maybe it’s time to come back.”
” No! No! No!” I said in a firm tone. ” The country is not in a good state. There’s nothing for you here for now. Maybe in the future.”
I waited breathlessly for Mayowa to tell me about the wife that he found in church.
With sparks in his eyes, he said. ” Mum, she’s beautiful and attractive. I couldn’t take my eyes off her the moment I saw her. When you and Dad were having a meeting in the church and I was waiting outside, I walked up to her and asked for her name. When she opened her mouth to speak, I was transported to the highest heavens. Her voice was like a fizzy drink after a hot tiring day. I’m glad I went to church.”
Nonsense! I said under my breath. No wonder ladies have been taking advantage of my son. With the way he spoke about the lady he just met, I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t give her his head if she dare demand for it.
” And what’s her name?” I asked impatiently, while trying to hide my apprehension.
In answer, Mayowa looked into the distance.
” She stood by her car. She was about to open it. Her scent wafted into my nose and God…”
” She has a car?”
” Yes! I think she’s a sort of professor, what do you call them here? I got her name and she said she teaches in a University.”
” Mayowa! If she’s a Prof, then she must be married. It takes years to attain that over here.”
Mayowa shook his head. ” No! She didn’t look married. There was no other person in her car. There was no ring on her finger. And while I was stylishly watching and planning to approach her, a lady walked up to her and spoke about going to spend the evening in her house. She was excited and mentioned about feeling lonely all the time. I heard that.”
” At your age, you were eavesdropping.”
” No! they were loud.”
” So did you get her name?” I was already sweating under the AC. There could be only one person that fitted that description in my church. God forbid! I muttered.
” What did you say mum?”
” Nothing! What’s her name?”
” Well…she told me that her name was Abigail, and that she works in a University. She sounded standoffish if I may say, but then, we just met for the first time and maybe she was pissed off with me walking up to her and asking about her.”
I said it! I said within me. Abigail must have shown off herself for Mayowa to get attracted to her. Reverend introduced him in the church while welcoming visitors. She must have seen him. Old spinster looking for who to latch to. Not my son.
I wanted a young girl for him. A young girl that is just starting life. Abigail has seen it all. With her level of achievement, she might not find it easy submitting easily to a man. And with her advanced age, she might not be able to bear children. I needed grandchildren.
” Mum! Do you know her?” Who Is she and how can I get across to her. I like her.”
” Yes! I know Abigail.” I said absentmindedly.
I was thinking fast. I needed to be tactful with Mayowa. If I show him that I wasn’t happy with his choice, it might make him get fonder of Abigail. He might decide to go behind me to ask Abigail out. If she accept him, it will be disastrous.
I needed to ensure that he never get across to Abigail. Abigail of all people. Did Mayowa even realize that she might be older than him? Age wouldn’t matter to him anyway. It matters here. People will laugh me to scorn if my son end up marrying someone that other men had rejected.
” I know Abigail.” I said slowly. ” She’s highly accomplished. Well principled. She may not accept you.”
” Why? I’m also accomplished. I can take care of her. I can even move back here because of her.”
” We have to tread softly. If you go to her with this level of excitement, you may push her away.”
” I will not want that.”
” Good! Why not let me go to her first? I’m well respected in the church. Abigail will be happy to be my daughter-in- law. That is if she’s not engaged to be married, Abigail is quite advanced in age.”
Where did that come from? If she’s not engaged to be married… Excess adrenaline shot into my system. It was time for action. I needed to nip the proposed pact in the bud.
I made my inquiries. Abigail had no man in her life. I searched through the church if I could get a man that would hurriedly engage Abigail on compassionate ground. On one side, I knew that my plan might not work, but what if it does? I was only protecting my territory.
I saw Clement. He was a weak option. A half bread that is better than none. When I approached Abigail and she rejected Clement, I was dejected. Mayowa was becoming impatient. He was ready to go and push his luck with Abigail. He had pointedly told me that he was going to meet and talk to her by the following Sunday.
Out of the blue, Clement called that Abigail said they were getting married in two weeks. My joy knew no bound with that news. Quickly, I asked them to see me. I sealed things by ensuring that they saw the pastor immediately. Now, I was rest assured that Mayowa would take his mind off Abigail. To him, it was bad news that Abigail was getting married in two weeks. To me, it was the best news of the year.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟖
MRS. OGUNKOLADE’S POV ( CONT’D)
Abigail and Clement wedded. I ensured that their reception was held at my house, just to confirm to Mayowa that his beloved had been taken. He was pissed off and refused to leave his room for the whole length of the reception.
With Abigail out of the way, it was easy to convince Mayowa to marry Titilope. I vouched for her integrity and diligence. Being a daughter to a long time friend, I assured Mayowa that I knew her well and that she would make a good wife.
They got married and traveled back to the states. The first 3 months of their marriage was peaceful. I kept tab on them and gave needful advises whenever needed. Then, Mayowa started complaining about his wife that she was moving with some clique of women that he didn’t approve. He said that Titilope was not the kind of girl that I claimed she was. He said she must have pretended to me. He feared that the women she was moving with will cause her to derail. The more she moved with them, the more her character was changing.
Titilope on the other hand refuted Mayowa’s claims. She accused Mayowa of being possessive and insecure, that he wanted to cage her. The women she was mingling with were women of class. She needed them to get acquinted with her new environment.
I took their matter as something that would resolve with time. The earlier they get used to each other, the better for them.
Titi got pregnant and I was happy. That would calm them down, I thought. One day, Mayowa called and was weeping. He said that he had gone on a business trip and had returned unscheduled only to meet his pregnant wife having a threesome on their matrimonial bed.
My son took what happened to heart. He was devastated. Things got worse between him and his wife. The once gentle Titi had turned to a tigress. Mayowa endured her until she put to birth.
When I traveled to the US when Titi put to birth, I got a true picture of what my son had been complaining about. Titilope must have been pretending while in Nigeria, because I couldn’t come to term with the sudden change in such a short time.
She had no regard for her husband or for me. She hardly stayed at home. She will keep her son with me and go do whatever she liked. She seldom cook or clean the house. She was too taken in by the fast America life and couldn’t control herself.
She told my son that she didn’t love him in the first place but only married him to please her parents and get a visa to US. She said that Mayowa was a one- minute man that couldn’t satisfy her sexual needs. Titilope boldly said that she has met a new man, the love of her life and wanted a divorce from my son.
To make matters worse, Titi claimed that the son that Mayowa was thinking was his was probably not his, because she started sleeping with Stan; a white guy, in their 3rd month of marriage. The very month she took in.
I saw my boy crumble before me. He became an emotional wreck. While he was willing to grant Titi a divorce, he couldn’t accept that little Tade was not his. He had grown to love and cherish the boy.
To get things cleared, a DNA was conducted. We discovered that Tade wasn’t Mayowa’s son. It was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. Mayowa wouldn’t stop blaming me for manipulating him into marrying Titilope. He said the damage she did to his manhood and reputation was not repairable. Did I know that she had circulated it around that he couldn’t satisfy a woman in bed?
Mayowa stopped going to church and turned to Alcohol and drugs. He began fantasizing about Abigail. He threatened to get rid of her husband and marry her.
At that point, I wished Abigail wasn’t married, I would have willingly consented to their union. Even if she was still single, I doubted if she will take a second glance at Mayowa in his present state. Mayowa had become extremely paranoid. One day, he chased me out of his house brandishing a knife. He said that I was a witch. That night, I sought refuge with a friend in the neighborhood.
The family came together to seek for help for Mayowa. My husband heaped the whole blame on me. He said that he had warned me that I should allow our son marry whosoever he wanted.
Reluctantly and in a sane moment, Mayowa agreed to see a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed as having Depression with Psychosis. He began to go in and out of the mental institution. As a mother, I couldn’t focus on any other thing but the care of Mayowa. Titilope had dissapeared with her oyinbo boyfriend and child.
“As I speak to you now.” I told Abigail. ” Mayowa has returned to Nigeria with me. I couldn’t leave him alone over there. He’s often suicidal and might harm himself. I can’t equally leave my husband on his own here. He’s just been diagnosed with a terminal illness and needs my full support. I wish I had allowed Mayowa to marry you Abigail. You are a good woman.”
Abigail shrugged and stood up. She faced me and said. ” Mummy! I’m sorry for what has happened to your son. From the depth of my heart, I pray that he gets well.”
” Amen!” I answered in a loud voice.
Abigail continued. ” As you can see, both of us have our fair share of blames. You did your manipulations and I fell for it because of my insensitivity and desperation. We’ve learnt our lessons in the hard way. We have different kinds of cross to bear now. I’m bearing mine and crying in silence. I pray God will grant you grace to bear yours and get peace at the end . I pray for quick and full recovery for Daddy and Mayowa.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟒𝟗
It took me time before I got over Mrs. Ogunkolade’s betrayal. Though I took what she said calmly on the day that she opened up to me, I bursted into tears the very moment she left. How could I have been so gullible? I asked myself. Why was I blinded to the fact that Mrs. Ogunkolade was only after her personal gain by pushing me and Clement together? I remembered the dream that I had around that time; How I took the dream with a pinch of salt. I sure paid dearly for my carelessness.
Knowing that I couldn’t undo what had been done, I decided to push the issue off my mind and live my life. I was in the living room watching a TV series one day, when my phone started ringing. I had deliberately left the phone in the room so that I could concentrate on the TV program. Dropping the remote control, I dashed for the bedroom before the call would cut. The call was from a strange number. Of late, I had been cautious about picking calls, mostly because of the private number that will not stop calling me.
I wasn’t fast enough to get the call, and I decided to go with the phone to the living room. Just as I sat down to continue watching the series, the phone started ringing again. I lowered the TV volume, pressed the receive button and put my phone on speaker.
The voice that greeted me sounded familiar. ” Hallo…hallo.” the person said.
” Hello! Who am I speaking with?” I asked.
” Ojonigwu. The senior of your husband.”
I shrieked. ” Bro Ojonigwu, how is your health.” I asked excitedly.
” My head. Which head?” He asked.
” Jesus!” I whispered. This English problem is a general malady amongst my husband’s family. Anyways, English is a borrowed language. I took my words slowly for Ojonigwu to understand me. ” I did not mean your head. I asked after your health. How body?”
Ojonigwu laughed out loudly. He did not sound like a sick man or someone that is just recovering from an illness. ” Body dey inside cloth.” He answered. ” We dey survive. Hunger never kill us.”
” Clement told me that you were ill, that the doctors operated on you.”
” Which kin operation?”
” I sent money for your surgery. Were you not ill?”
” Me sick? Nooooo.”
” So you were not Ill?”
” I dey Kampe, except if hunger na sickness.”
” You were not admitted in the hospital?”
” The last time wey I see hospitu, na wen my small wife wan born our last pikin. 3 years don pass.”
” No operation was carried out on you?”
” My wife…you dey okay? Why all these questions?”
” It’s okay sir. I will call you back.”
” You sure say everything dey alright?” Ojonigwu asked. ” I been wan tell you something about your husband.”
I was almost at the point of tears. ” We will talk later. Now I can’t…oh God!” I placed a hand on my forehead.
” You sure say you dey okay?”
” I’m okay. You can call me later.”
With the kind of anger that rose from within me, I could do anything to Clement. So Ojonigwu wasn’t ill after all. Clement had only swindled me for money. He was sure going to have a hell of a time bailing himself out. He had lied that his brother needed a surgery. I gave him 200k at the first instance and transferred an additional 50k later. And to think that Bro Ojonigwu had been hale and hearty. For God sake, what kind of man did I marry? Who is Clement?
He was seated at the front of the house, fiddling with his phone. He jerked up as I approached him and shouted his name. Pastor Elizabeth’s warning resonated in my head and I took a deep breath.
” What it is Abigail?” Clement asked. ” Why are you anger?”
I could hardly control myself. My body shook as I asked. ” Clement why? Why for God sake?”
” What why? Why are you whying?”
” You lied to me that Bro Ojonigwu was ill. You collected a huge amount of money from me. You said he was going to have a surgery.”
” Yes…” Clement answered in a shaky voice.
I pointed towards the house. ” I just spoke to Bro Ojonigwu now. He said he’s not been ill. He hasn’t been to the hospital in two years.”
” Ojonigwu tell you that?”
” Yes! Is it not true?”
” What he say again?” Clement asked in an agitated tone. ” What he are say?”
” Isn’t that enough. Why will you lie and extort me for money? It is a criminal act. And you call yourself a Christian.”
” Hun Hun ” Clement shrugged. ” I give Ojonigwu money.”
” He wasn’t ill. You lied to me.”
” Abigail please.” Clement begged. ” Today! I tell you everything.”
” Everything about what? I can’t trust you again. What kind of man did I marry?”
Clement drew me by the hand towards the house. He was ashamed of himself and scared that outsiders might eavesdrop on our conversation. I followed him reluctantly.
The moment we got inside, he went flat on the floor and held to my feet. “Abigail I sorry. I very very sorry. ” He pleaded.
” What are you begging me for? That you lied to me about your brothers health? Or that you extorted money from me. You are not a truthful husband. Who are you Clement? I want to know you. What kind of man did I marry? Am I safe with you?”
” I sorry…”
” Please stand up and let’s talk. What did you do with the money that I gave to you?”
” I take small. I give Ojonigwu plenty.”
” Why?” I asked.
” Ojonigwu, he collet moni from me, tey tey. Ojonigwu, he call me, he shout. ” Clementi! Give me moni. If no give me, I tell Abigail bad bad tins you do tey tey.” Ojonigwu, I carry shop money give. Ojonigwu, I send money, all the time. Ojonigwu, eyes big. Ojonigwu, he shout. ” I tell Abigail bad bad things you do, tey, tey.”
” If I get you, Bro Ojonigwu has been blackmailing you.”
Clement looked lost and scratched his head. ” Black…”
” Sorry, I’ve forgotten the kind of person I’m dealing with. Had he been collecting money from you because of a secret you don’t want me to know about?”
Clement nodded. ” Yes.”
” Now, tell me. What is the secret?”
Clement stayed silent for a long time. I saw palpable fear in his eyes. I guessed he was scared of what my reaction would be if he told the secret.
I stood with my arms across my chest. ” You better start talking. I want to hear everything.”
” When I dey village, I do bad bad things.”
” Bad, bad things like what?”
” I steal man, woman fowl. I steal goat. I go farm and steal. Police catch me and put me back of counter. Man, woman call me thief. My papa, he beat me. He tell village people, they beat me well well. I steal and steal.”
” So you were a thief in the village.”
He shook his head. ” Small thief. I thief. I get food eat. No food in house. Me, Ojonigwu, we go, we steal. We get food eat.”
“Is that all? That shouldn’t be enough reason for Ojonigwu to be blackmailing you.”
Clement continued. ” I dey village. I fight. I beat man, woman. I beat boy,girl. My mama, she talk. I beat her. She fent. We pour water for her head. She wake. She cry. ” Kilimenti! You are bad boy.”
” You beat your mother and she fainted. No wonder you don’t have respect for your wife.”
” I come Ibadan. I change. I join church. I change.”
” I can see. What else?”
Clement swallowed hard. The next revelation must be a big one.
” Clement talk!” I screamed.
” For village, I give girl belle.”
” Jesus! You have a child in the village. Were you married?”
Clement shook his head. ” No! I sleep with her. She get belle. Another man sleep with her. She sleep with plenty men. She born. Pikin die. I not go near her again.”
” so you were not married to her?”
” No!”
” Is that all?”
” Yes!”
” Sure?”
” I swear. Those na bad bad things I do for village. I come Ibadan, I change.”
I shook my head. ” Changed indeed. You are changed but you are not changed. The works of the flesh is still manifesting in your life, Galatians 5. I don’t have to list them. You know yourself. I don’t care about whatever you might have done in the past. The bible says that if any man is in Christ, he’s a new creature. Old things have passed away and all things have become new. However, you need to ask God to break you down totally and remold you so that you can forsake the works of the flesh.”
” I hear Abigail. I do what you say.”
” Come!” I said.
Clement dropped heavily beside me.
” Look at me. It is glaring that we were not meant for each other, but we can still make something good out of a bad situation. I want a happy home. I want you to change. I want a husband that will show genuine love to me. I don’t care about your qualifications or pedigree. A man is a man. I just want to be loved and cherished. I also want you to trust me. I’m tired of fighting.”
” Abigail, I no fight you again. I promise.” Clement said. He sounded believable.
” See! This is another opportunity to make our marriage to work. You promised Dele that you will see a psychologist for your personality issue. I think now is the best time for that.”
” I ready. Anything Abigail, anything.”
” Then, I don’t want you to be idle. You should think of resuming back in the shop, not as oga but as someone that sees the shop as his own and is ready to work to make it to grow.”
” I do anything Abigail. I promise.”
At that moment, I felt warm towards Clement. Maybe things would work out afterall. The next time Ojonigwu called, I didn’t let him land before telling him that I knew about Clement’s past and have forgiven him for whatever he might have done. I told him that Clement is my husband and I accept him with all his faults.
” He tell you that he…”
” You don’t need to repeat yourself.” I cut Ojonigwu short. ” You were also at fault for blackmailing Clement. It is a criminal act. Clement is changed. He’s a new man.”
” Hen- hen.”
” Yes! Is there any other thing?”
” No…but I know under…”
I ended the call. Clement was at the door listening to our conversation. He smiled and walked towards me. ” My fine fine wife.” He said.
I feigned a frown. ” Flattery will get you no where. What do you want?”
” I dey think. When are we make another baby? I wan give you twins.”
” You want to give me twins?” I opened my arms wide. ” Come and give me the twins.”
Clement lifted me and carried me to our bed. He’d never done that before. We stayed cozy in bed for the rest of the day. The feeling was out of this world. The sex we had was one of the best since we got married. As I drifted to sleep, I said a silent prayer. ” God please! Let this peace not be an illusion. Let it last in Jesus name.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟎
CLEMENT’S POV
I remember Ojonigwu swear that he pour sand sand inside my Garri. Remain small for him to do. God no shame me. God shame Ojonigwu. I get sense. I tell Abigail. I double cross Ojonigwu. Why? Ojonigwu wan plenty money. He get big eyes.
I hear when Abigail talk with man in phone. She drop phone. She shout. ” Bro. Ojonigwu. My mind cut. Piss catch me. I pray, “God! let Ojonigwu no tell Abigail bad bad tins.” Ojonigwu swear. ” I call Abigail. I tell her all bad bad things you do. I am outside, Abigail shout. ” Clement!” Wind has blow, fowl yarsh has show. Abigail shout again. ” Clement!”
Ojonigwu, he wicked. Ojonigwu, he wicked from small. I make mistake, I tell Ojonigwu. ” I marry. Come for my marry.” When Abigail say ” Clement! Bring your family member.” I carry phone, I call Ojonigwu. If I know, I hire man woman. They say, ” Clement, our son.” They take money. They go. Ojonigwu will no disturb.
Well, that has pass. Ojonigwu think he get sense. I chance him. I show Abigail, I sorry. I tell her plenty bad things I do tay tay. I no wait for Ojonigwu to tell Abigail another story. I surprise. Abigail. She believe me. Small time, Abigail forgive me. Abigail! She good. Abigail! She get good heart.
Abigail tell me. ” Clement! Show me love.” She look me with soft eyes. My belle sweet me. Abigail, she take me to doctor. Abigail, she want me to good man. She tell doctor. ” Help my husband.” Abigail say. ” Clement! You have problem.” Before, I fight and say, ” I no have problem.” Now, I knock my head. My people say, if you wan to catch monkey, you do like monkey. Abigail she say, ” Clement, I want peace.” I smile and knock my head.
If I no do what Abigail say, I stay, no money. My wife have plenty. Me I stay, no money. I not go back to security man. I want money. I no get Ojonigwu problem again. Now, I save. Now, I real man.
Abigail give me shop key. She take two boy, girl. She tell me. ” Clement! They work with you.” Abigail, she good. She buy new things I sell in shop. She call sell man and say, ” bring papers, file, pin, toner… everything. Now, shop full well well. She tell me, ” Clement! Put eyes. Learn. If we get plenty road money enter our hand, we get money, Our life better. We get one shop, we open plenty shop. We get plenty money. We comfortability. We help people. Our children life better.
I believe Abigail. Doctor talk, if you trus your wife, you see good things inside her. He talk that I think good picture of my wife. She good. She faithful. He talk, if I get bad picture, I always hate and think she do bad,bad things.
He give me list. He point and talk. I put it where I see everyday. Every day, I look and say, Abigail, she good wife.
Anytime I want vex, he tell me to count 1, 2,3 to 100. I breath inside. I try. It not easy. I try again. I turn. I no talk. I tell God, help me. Abigail come and put her hand for my shoulder. She say, I sorry. I look her face. I smile. We kiss.
Now, when I see Abigail with man, I breath inside. I smile. I talk inside. ” Abigail, no cheat. Abigail, good woman.”
One day, we go market. We buy catfish. Abigail say, “I make catfish pepper soup for you.” We leave market. I open door. Abigail turn, she frown. I turn. I see why Abigail frown. Fine doctor with gap teeth. Doctor, he sleep with Abigail. My chest do gbim! I look Abigail. I look doctor. Abigail, no give him face. She greet him small. Doctor, he not happy. He come. He shake me. Abigail draw me. She say. ” Sweet heart, let’s go.” She kiss me small. I nearly die with happy. Now, I sure. Abigail, no like gap teeth doctor.
Me, Abigail, We laugh together. We play together. Abigail teach me English. It didn’t easy. I try. I wan go out with Abigail. I no disgrace Abigail. I enjoy Abigail now. Man! You wan enjoy your wife, treat her well. If you suffer your wife, you suffer your head.
Now, I wake up early. Monday to Saturday, I go to shop. I put eyes. I learn. Market, it good.
One day, I dey shop. Ojonigwu call. I hiss. Why he call me now? What he want? ” Yes.” I say.I proud in my voice.
” Two days no show.” Ojonigwu say.
” Which show?” I ask. ” Show, it finish. No disturb me. I dey shop. I attend to customer.”
I hear Ojonigwu breath like grinding machine from inside phone. I see his red eyes. Ojonigwu, his eyes red. He drink too much.
” Show never finish ” he say. ” Your nyash still dey my hand.
” What it dey your hand?” I shout. ” No call me again. You bad brother.”
” Wait!” Ojonigwu shout. ” You sure you tell Abigey eferytin? Abigey, you gree tell her about Hafusatu?”
” What? You are there? I tell her everything.” My body shake as Ojonigwu call Hafusatu. Bad history. Bad destiny. Enemi of progess. In Jesus name, I rejet you. I bind you. I throw way you go hell fire.
I stay too much. I no talk. Ojonigwu laugh like boss in Indian film.
” No! I no sure say your wife don hear about Hafusatu. If you no shake body, I go spoil your show.”
Ojonigwu talk fear me. Truth! One thing I stop. I not tell Abigail. Big thing is too big in my mouth. How I tell Abigail? Hafusatu, life and diret. Since I marry Abigail, Hafusatu, we no talk. Old thing have pass. New thing have come.
I remember Abigail, how she smile and say she forgive me. Abigail, she tell Ojonigwu, “stop!” How I tell her another big thing? If I no tell her, Abigail, she go never never know. She trus man woman too easy. Now, I tell her Ojonigwu say he do anything, spoil our marriage. I tell her, never never. No answer his call.
Ojonigwu call. Abigail frown. She say. ” Don’t ever call me again.”
I happy. I put hand together. I pray. “God, Give me twins to give Abigail. We both happy. We tie together forever. Our past it past. Old things have pass. New things have come.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟏
The story of my marital journey; the challenges, the victory and the lessons, should culminate into a happy ending since Clement has decided to change for good. Everyone love happy endings. What more do we want in life? Happiness is essential and should be experienced by all. Did I have a happy ending with my changed husband?
I and Clement began to live like normal couples. We had less fights and more beautiful moments until we almost forgot that we’d ever had marital challenges. We were both doing well. I had gotten my promotion to the position of an Associate Prof. Life was good.
However, I discovered that ever since things started getting better between us, Clement has began to show more interest in having children. He wasn’t keen on taking adoption as an option like I do, but wanted us to have at least, a kid together. On my part, I had almost given up on having my biological children. With several months of trying, nothing happened.
We decided to see a gynecologist. The doctor assured us that children would come at the due time, that both of us were okay. At what age? I argued. I was approaching 50. The doctor suggested that we could try IVF. We asked him to give us time to think about it.
To me, I knew nothing was wrong with me. Evidence was the baby that I carried before the accident. We resorted to prayers. We went for regular check ups as well. I was placed on medications to boost my fertility.
One day, we were returning from a follow up visit when I suddenly sighed deeply. ” God when?” I asked, sitting up straight and looking into the distance.
” What it is?” Clement asked.
I frowned. “What it is? I have told you at countless times that it is what is it and not what it is.”
” Anyhow, you understand what I saying.” Clement replied.
“Ha!…you are a sorry case,” I joked. ” What English will you be speaking to our children when they start arriving?
” The one I speaking now.”
” God forbid. You either teach me your local dialect or you learn Yoruba. Teaching you English is a waste of time. Talking about the children.” I frowned. ” Are you sure they will come? I wish we can get at least 1.”
Clement was driving. He removed a hand from the steering and placed it on my hand. ” God! he answer us.” He said.
” Amen.”
Clement navigated into our estate. Our house wasn’t too far from the gate, just a few meters. From afar, I could see some people at my gate. They were probably having a conversation with Abu, the gate man.
” Some people are at our gate.” I said, straining my eyes.
” I wonder what they are do there.”
As we got closer, I saw them clearly. Their backs were turned to us. They were 5; a man, a woman and 3 children. It was like they wanted to go into the compound. Abu was trying to stop them. Clement honked. Everyone turned. I frowned. Clement froze.
” Clement! it is your brother.” I said. ” What is he doing here?”
” Yes…. Ojonigwu.” Clement stuttered. He suddenly looked disturbed. I noticed that his hand was slightly trembling.
” Did he tell you that he was visiting and who are the people with him?”
I had already started wondering why someone will decide to visit without prior notice and even bring people with him. The woman must be his wife, and the children his children. They were 3. The first should be around 10 while the youngest looked Fiveish.
Clement asked me to remain in the car while he confront his brother. “Why he come? He not tell us he coming?
I could read anger in Clement’s face, but it wasn’t just anger. There was something I couldn’t place.
Despite the request that I remain in the car , I followed Clement out . Ojonigwu broke into a mirthless laughter when he saw me. ” My wife.” He greeted loudly and parted me on the back.
The woman that came with him should be about 30. She was dressed in a faded Ankara skirt and blouse. The pancake on her face was massive. Her red lipstick made her look like she had dipped her mouth in blood. The way she lined her eyes with eyeliner was hilarious; just like a typical villager going to the city would do, to show that she’s around. That was not even the problem, the woman smelt like she had a load of rotten fish on her. I guessed she was probably on her period. She looked at me pointedly as if she was reading into my mind. Her eyes were penetrating. She looked like someone that will be difficult to live with.
The children, they were all unkempt. They looked hungrily at me and I cringed. The youngest came to stand by me. She won’t stop smiling. The woman drew her forcefully towards her. I shrugged.
Clement spoke to Ojonigwu in the local dialect. They were loud. Though I didn’t understand what they were saying, from the sound of their voices, I knew that they were throwing words at each other. I concluded that Clement was quarrelling with Ojonigwu for visiting and bringing his family impromptu. I had to intervene because the men were almost throwing punches at each other. I entered in-between them and directed my words at Ojonigwu.
” Though you didn’t inform us that you were coming, you are welcome into our house. I guess this is your wife.” I pointed to the woman.
She raised an eyebrow.
” Yes! ” Clement answered. ” The woman, him wife. The pikins, him pikins.”
At that moment, it came to my mind that my own family members had visited at one time or the other in the past. I had wanted to know everyone in my husband’s family as well. Clement had told me at the beginning of our relationship that his parents were late. He had only Ojonigwu. Therefore, if these people were the only family members left for Clement, I must accept them with open arms. If it was my mum or any of my siblings that came without prior notice, would I drive them away?
I opened my purse, picked a chocolate bar and stretched it to the youngest child. She collected it and smiled shyly. ” I will go to clean up the boys quarters.” I told Clement and moved away.
Two weeks since they came, Ojonigwu’s family was still with us. I was stretched out and tired, cooking and taking care of them. Despite giving them the BQ to stay, they were most often in the main house. Ojonigwu was chopping the life of his head, eating like there was no tomorrow. The children were fascinated with everything. I tolerated them. The wife was behaving like a nut case. She seemed to have something against me.
One day, I was cooking in the kitchen and she came from behind like she was going to push me or something. I was startled at her sudden appearance and held my chest. Turning swiftly, I forced a smile and asked. ” What do you want?”
” My hushband.” She said. She had a way of talking through the nose and making every word sound like she was adding ‘sh’.
” Your husband?” I asked. ” Is he not in the BQ with you?”
She eyed me, hissed and walked away. That evening, I sat Clement down. ” Your brother’s wife is acting stage and weird. She keeps appearing in odd places in the house. I’m getting scared of her. When are they leaving?”
Talk of the devil. The woman appeared just then. She walked straight into our bedroom and approached us. I decided not to take that lying low. For God sake, I deserved my privacy. Standing up, I faced her. ” Madam what do you want?”
She eyed me and faced Clement. ” I wansh to she you.”
What the hell, I muttered under my breath. ” Madam! You can see that we are having a discussion. Please wait for him in the living room. And next time, please don’t just walk into our bedroom anyhow. I take exceptions to that.”
She smirked. ” I wansh talk with him.”
” Hafusatu!” Clement called angrily. ” You wait. I talk to you later. I meet you in boys quarter.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟐
Clement left me to go and speak with Hafusatu, or whatever he called her name. I was pissed off. I heard them shouting at each other. The woman was so disrespectful. I couldn’t wait for her and her family to leave. They had invaded my personal space and I needed it back.
Clement returned fuming, however he apologized for his brother’s wife misdemeanor, and promised that she will never do it again. He said that she came to report Ojonigwu to him and was so angry that she couldn’t wait.
” When are they leaving?” I asked. Same question that I had asked before Hafusatu interrupted us.
Clement scratched his head and cleared his throat.
” Is there any problem?” I asked.
” Ojonigwu, he don’t want go.”
” What?”
” Ojonigwu, he say. ” Life, hard in village. Plenty work, small food. Ojonigwu, he have 3 woman. Ojonigwu, he bring Hafusatu, 1,2,3 pikin, stay for Ibadan. Ojonigwu, stay here. Work. Send money to village.”
I flared up. ” That’s not possible. They can’t stay here. I’m already losing my mind. Do you know how much it will cost to continue feeding a family of 5? Who will take care of the schooling of the children? We are thinking of having an IVF and trying to source for fund. Taking care of your brother’s family will be a huge burden on us.”
By the next day, I woke up early because I had a long day ahead. Clement was still snoring when I was leaving the house. He had gone back to sleep after our family devotion. I tapped him awake. ” I’m off to work. Your breakfast is in the microwave. Please tell your brother’s wife to prepare something for herself and the others. I stocked up the kitchen in the BQ yesterday and I have transfered the kerosene stove there.”
While at the office, Moyo came to see me and the first statement she made was that I was looking worn out. ” Have they left?” She asked.
” Who?”
” The visitors in your house.”
” Leave ke? Clement said that his brother wants to remain here.”
” Oti o.”
” It is becoming a bad story. You know how accommodating I can be, but then the stress is too much, not even considering the financial burden. I don’t want it to look as if I’m dictating because I’m the one with the money. Who will continue to take care of their feeding? Who will take care of the children’s school? Who will take care of their accomodation?They can’t continue to stay with us. I’m not comfortable , especially with the wife.”
Moyo pressed forward. ” What about her?”
” Right from the first day they came, I had this feeling that she didn’t like me. She’s always eyeing, hissing and mumbling under her breath. She often appear in unexpected places in the house like a ghost. Yesterday, I was discussing with Clement in the bedroom and she barged in without knocking.”
” That’s too bad.”
” She wasn’t remorseful but insisted on seeing Clement. I was forced to ask him for when they will leave and he started telling me the story of his brother not wanting to go back to the village.”
” You shouldn’t waste time in sorting things out. For the woman, please put her in her place. Set boundaries and enforce it. She musn’t intimidate you in your own house. Maybe she’s jealous that your husband has so much and her husband has nothing. Maybe she thinks that Clement owns everything in the house. I will visit you on one these days. I want to meet with the woman. For now, I have a meeting to attend.”
” I also have one. Let me get the file so that we can walk together to… Jesus! What is wrong with me?”
” What happened?”
” I was working on the file yesterday. I left it in my study.”
” When is the meeting?”
” In an hour time.”
” You can drive home and be back before the meeting starts.”
” I’d rather call Clement to pick an Uber and bring the file for me. I can’t think of driving home now.”
I picked my phone and dialed Clement’s number. Several calls and he didn’t pick. I was pissed off. Could he still be sleeping? He had told me that he wouldn’t be going to the shop until later in the day. Frustrated, I grabbed my car key.
” What happened?” Moyo asked.
” Clement didn’t pick my call.” I answered. ” I’m rushing home.”
I droved as fast as I could, while tring not to break any traffic rule. I was the chairperson of the committee on gender equality in the University. The meeting for that day was a very crucial one in which we were going to make some crucial decisions.
Not minding to drive into the compound, I parked on the street, knowing that I would return to the car in no time. I met Ojonigwu’s children playing in the compound and I waved at them. No one was in the living room. I made straight for the bedroom and pushed the door. My study was a small appendage of the bedroom.
What I saw in the bedroom could best be imagined. Ojonigwu’s wife was laid prone on the bed. She was stark naked. Clement was half naked. He had only his boxers on. Hafusatu was pulling him to herself and trying to pull down his boxer. Clement was telling her to stop in a weak voice. It looked like a struggle but then, why should Hafusatu be on my bed in the first place? Why was she naked? Where was Ojonigwu. Why would she want Clement to sleep with her. Of course, she wanted him to sleep with her, that was the conclusion that I drew from the scene, and Clement wasn’t doing enough to stop her.
Clement disengaged from Hafusatu and came for me, maybe to safe face. I couldn’t look at him in the eyes. Hafusatu rose up lazily from the bed and picked her blouse and wrapper. She didn’t look a bit sorry.
” Clement!” I called in a stern voice. ” Is it in your habit in your village to be sleeping with your brother’s wife?” I was almost crying.
He shook his head. ” I not sleep with she. Hafusatu, she bad. She sleep with one man. She sleep with plenty man. Hafusatu…”
Where did I hear that statement before? Now wasn’t the time to think about it. I needed to be at the gender meeting. I entered my study, picked the file and left the house without saying anything to Clement. All through the meeting, I was thinking of what I saw at home.
When I returned home at night, I acted as if everything was okay. When Clement wanted to raise the issue, I brushed him off. I had my own plan. It was time to know more about my husband. Maybe I should have listened to Ojonigwu when he insisted on talking about him.
The statement that Clement made about Hafusatu being a bad woman wouldn’t leave my mind. That was the same statement he made about the lady that he impregnated in the village. The lady that he claimed that she gave birth and lost the baby. Could she be the same person as Hafusatu. If yes, why is she married to his brother?
By the next day, I told Clement that I was taking the day off. I even released the car for his use throughout the day. Immediately he left the house, I invited Ojonigwu into the living room. I only had to serve him a plate of fried rice and chicken accompanied with a chilled bottle of wine, before he started spilling all that I should have known before heading into marriage with Clement.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟑
𝑶𝑱𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑾𝑼’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
When I carry Hafusatu with her sidren enter road come Ibadan, na to scatter tins I get for mind. Klemet think say him get sense. Him don forget say na inside sense dem born me. I be master of sense. Him wan enjoy life only him. He forget say parson wey chop alone go die alone. I carry Hafusa and her sidren come Ibadan for intenson to tell Abigay say, this woman wey you see so, na your husband marry her tey tey. This sidren sef, na him put then for her belle. She come born 1,2,3.
He get one wey she first born, but the pikin die. He get why the pikin die. We know Hafusa for village say she be public property, one man no dey reach her. She dey sleep with every man wey give her food or money. Even me, i don ever pass that route 1,2, 3 times. But, every parson for village know say na she with Klemet be 5&6.
When she get belle, every person point for Klemet say na him get the belle. Klemet scatter ground say no be him get belle. No be only him do. Everybody do. He fight. He break bottle. He scatter ground. Hafusa stay for her papa house born the pikin. The pikin kukuma no gree stay.
Small time, Hafusatu start her wakawaka again. This time around, she no gree share her body with other men. Ebe like say she wan dey steady with Klemet. Hafusa no gree other men sleep with her again.
The day wey I land for Ibadan, I bin wan scatter ground tell Abigay all wetin her husband don ever do. I bin wan tell her say Klemet don marry Hafusa ten years before he meet her. I bin wan tell her say Klemet do village marriage with Hafusa. Pastor no gree join them inside our small church because Hafusa don get belle. But our church people come house come do the marriage with us. Pastor pray for them, but he no gree give them sabutikate say dem don marry.
Our family Siddon. Hafusa family Siddon. Dem kollect money for Hafusa head, no be say she jus born for Klemet. As belle don enter, her papa come say make our papa do the right thing. Dem call Klemet ask am if na true say na him get the pikin for Hafusa belle. Klemet say na true na him give Hafusa belle. We carry yam and palm wine go Hafusa house. We chop, we dance, everybody go their house.
Hafusa with Klemet start to be man and wife. Dem born three sidren, come stay together till Sebastian come village, come tell Klemet say work dey for Ibadan. Klemet enter road leave him wife with Sidren for village.
When Klemet call me, tell me say he get one big woman wey wan marry am for Ibadan, the first tin I ask am be say, how you go do with your wife and sidren for village? Klemet say he no no wetin to do. Life no too easy for Ibadan as him no get any sabutikate. The security work wey him dey do, money no too dey. He no dey get money send for village. Hafusa dey call all the time dey cry. Him think say if he marry the woman, life go better. He go get money train him sidren for sukulu. Even him wife go enjoy no be small. Las las, even if the big woman know say him don marry get sidren, she no go fit do anything. By then, he go don gather things.
I gree for Klemet plan because me too, I wan beta life. If he better for Klemet, he go beta for me. Life hard for village no be small. If we no want the big woman know say Klemet get wife for village, she no go know.
Klemet marry Abigay finish, come start to dey raise shoulder. He stay for Ibadan come dey enjoy all the good things of life. Money, he no dey send. Call, he no dey call. He leave Hafusa and her sidren for village. He no dey gree visit. Hafusa go cry come my house say the small wife for Ibadan don tie Klemet with medesin. She talk say na only the small wife dey enjoy the money wey Klemet dey make for Ibadan.
Wetin pain me pass wey make me carry Hafusa and her sidren enter motor come Ibadan be say, Klemet dey take me for mumu. Him come tell me say he don tell Abigay about him past. Which past? How wife and Sidren wey dey alive go be your past? Klemet too lie. I sure say he no tell Abigay say he get wife and Sidren for village. Book woman no go gree that one. I sure say Klemet no go ever think say I for bring Hafusatu and her Sidren come meet am for Ibadan.
That day when Klemet see us, e be like say make him die. As he comot for motor come dey speak language for my head, wey he dey do like say he dey fight me, true true, he dey beg me say make I no leak him secret. He talk say he go do everything wey I want. He beg me to gree talk say Hafusa na my wife and the sidren na my own. He tell the sidren make dem no do like say him be their papa. I gree but give Klemet only one condition, me too I wan stay for Ibadan enjoy.
But since the day wey we come, my heart dey prick me. Abigay na good woman. She no carry her money for head. She no even do like she know book come proud. She bring herself low. She dey cook for us. She go carry food serve me for table come bend her knee small. I dey shake my head pity her say she no suppose stay with my brother. Abigay deserve a better man. Everyday when she show me kindness, my heart dey prick me like say I go fent.
In the morning when Abigay put food for my front say make I eat, she wan talk to me, na the same day wen I don prepare to tell her everything about Klemet. God go punish me if I still dey keep the secret. He no too bad if person do bad for bad person, but he no good make person do bad for good person. Abigay na good woman.
I think say she go fent after I tell her the truth. I see say her face change and she come begin shake. I carry hand wan hold her say make she dey steady. Abigay raise hand tell me say make I stop. Next thing, I see say she enter room come dey cry. I pity her no be small.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟒
” Moyo, It is so painful that I didn’t just fall for the antics of anyone but a village man. Clement has robbed me of so many things; my prestige, my honour, my money, my body. Everything. He played me for a fool. He saw me in my desperation and took advantage of me.Thinking about it now, I wonder what Mrs. Ogunkolade must have told him about me. Haaaa…I’m a fool.”
” No you are not.” Moyo said and hugged me tightly.
After Ojonigwu had revealed the secret that they’d been hiding all this while, I had left the house to meet Moyo in the school. That of course was after I had almost cried myself to stupor. We were inside Moyo’s office and she was comforting me.
” Clement is the fool.” She said. “He’s a loser, and God will judge him for all that he has made you to go through. Where is he now?”
” I don’t know. I left the house after I finished speaking with his brother. I can’t stand any of them for now. He’s likely to be at the shop.”
” What do you want to do now?”
” Are you asking me? I’m opting out of the marriage. If what Ojonigwu said is to go by, our marriage is null and void. He was already married to someone before me. And even if he wasn’t properly married to her, I don’t care. Marriage is marriage. A marriage that produced 3 children can’t be brushed aside. I’m the intruder here. That woman has every right to hate me. If only I had known. But you warned me. I refused to listen. I wanted to show Segun and his wife that I wasn’t a push over. I acted impulsively and married Clement. See where my stupidness has landed me. I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
Until when I got to Moyo after Ojonigwu had revealed the secret they’d been hiding, it still looked to me like I was dreaming. How come? Clement is married with children? He was able to hide the fact from me all this while. I had no clue at all. With my level of education and exposure, I couldn’t decode that I was being deceived. The pain was too much to bear. No wonder Clement had been insistent of late that he wanted a child from me. Maybe he already had the inkling that his secret will soon be out and he wanted the child to tie me down. He might think that with a child between us, I will have no choice than to remain married to him. What a myopic way of thinking.
———
Clement was at home when I returned in the company of Moyo, her husband and Reverend. One look at my face and he must have discovered that something was wrong. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to him.
It was a real emotional time for me. I couldn’t control my tears when it became established that Clement had taken me on a fool’s ride.
” Why did you do it?” Reverend asked in a subdued voice. You should now realize that what you did was very wrong. Just imagine the pain that Sister Abigail is going through.”
” I sorry.” Clement said on his knees. ” I no plan to do am. I come Ibadan. I want work. I get money, I bring Hafusatu with 1,2,3 pikin. I come church. Pastor preach. I become better man. One day, Mrs. Ogunkolade come, she tell me. ” Abigail! she like you.” She say, “Abigail! she not happy. She stay. She old. No man.” She talk. ” Abigail, she tell me she like you. Marry her. You marry Abigail, she happy.” I look and look and say, I give Hafusatu belle when I not a good Christian. Hafusatu, we do village marriage, no church. Hafusatu, no marriage ring. Pastor come our compound, pray for me and Hafusatu. No ring. If I marry Abigail, we go to church. We go to court. I give Abigail ring. I go village. I tell Hafusatu. ” I no wan marry you again.” I give her money. I tell her. ” Look for man.” Hafusatu is old. Abigail is new. I become born again. Old tin have pass, new…”
I did not let him finish the statement before landing him a hot slap on the face. I grabbed him and screamed. ” You are disgusting. You are a thief. God will punish you in hundred folds. You will not know peace in your life. To think that you had this huge skeleton in your cupboard all this while and you were giving me hell because of your insecurity. Who is better between us now?”
Dele grabbed my hands before another slap would come. I raised a leg and kicked Clement before Dele finally dragged me away.
I realized that all along, Hafusatu had a wrong notion that Clement owned the house and everything I was enjoying. She thought that her husband had made it big in just few years of coming to ibadan and that I had been holding him back from taking care of her and the children. I pitied her because she was also a victim.
Her eyes got cleared when I made my stand known. I was ready to opt out of the marriage with Clement. Not only that, I could only accommodate them for that night. Clements was asked to pack his belongings and go to stay with his family in the BQ. I did not waste time before collecting the shop key and the car key from him. I told him point blank that I was no longer interested in the marriage, let the world say whatever they want to say, I demanded for a divorce.
Turning to Hafusatu, I told her that she could go with all the foodstuffs that I stocked in the BQ kitchenette. By the next morning, I gave her an envelope with money inside. I told her that it was for her and the children.
Moyo and her husband stayed with me throughout my ordeal. In fact, the moment Clement and his entourage left my house by the next day, Moyo packed some of my clothes and I moved to stay with her family for two weeks. They helped me to heal.
Before bidding him farewell, I gave Ojonigwu his transport fare back to the village. I added something on top. I also promised that I could help in the future if he still want to move to Ibadan. Ojonigwu shrugged and shook his head. He said he would rather stay back in the village. Before leaving, Ojonigwu prayed for me for a good husband, because I deserved one. I doubted if that prayer could be answered. At that particular time, I did not want to have anything to do with any man.
Despite what he did, the church couldn’t abandon Clement, it will be like throwing the child away with the bath water, especially since his family was now with him and Hafusatu had refused to go back to the village. Luckily for him, the church Security guard had just been sacked. Clement had no choice but to take up the position. The position came with a little house within the church compound. Therefore, Clement and his family began to live there, with Clement working as the church security guard and his wife selling biscuit, sweet and other things by the side.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟱𝟱
The divorce was finalized. I changed my name back to my father’s name. Gradually, it dawned on me that I was back to square one but now with the tag of a divorcee.
I celebrated my 49th birthday alone, ruminating over my life. Once again, I felt a deep burden to share my story with the world. I started writing a book. I wanted every man and woman; young and old, big and small, every parent, every guardian, everyone waiting on God for a future partner, to learn from my experience. I knew where I went wrong. I also knew where I had fallen. I lived with regrets, wishing that I had been more patient and that things had turned out better for me.
I still remembered Pastor Elizabeth’s prophetic declaration, that God will give me peace. My expectation before the divorce was that, the peace would come in my home, with Clement. I thought that it had started manifesting when Clement began to change, not knowing that his change was driven by a hidden motive. Never knew that I had all along been living with a serpent.
I see Clement almost all the time at church. I had wanted to change my church, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that. My reason being that news travel fast. What happened to me had already circulated round, especially among the brethen. Most times when I go out, I see people pointing at me and whispering. So to me, changing church wouldn’t have helped me in any way. Instead of doing that, I developed a strong back and walked with my shoulders raised. If I was still crying, I did it in the closet of my bedroom.
Some people saw what happened as my fault . The stand wasn’t new to me, cos the woman always gets the bulk of blame whenever there’s a problem. Many people believed that I knew what I was getting into before marrying Clement. That I was only desperate to get married. To some, I wasn’t supposed to leave the marriage because whatever God has joined together, no man should put asunder. They wanted me to stay in the marriage and be a second wife.
I have never dreamt of being a second wife. If I had wanted, I would have married Alhaji Lamidi when mama was pressurizing me. I will rather die single than be a second wife
As shameless as Clement was, he approached me two months after the divorce to beg for money. I looked around to see if anyone wasn’t watching us, spat at him and walked away. By the following Sunday, I packaged something good and gave to his wife. I told her that it was for only her and the children. She understood and smiled..She was surprised and happy. We hugged and for the first time since I left Clement, I told her that I was sorry, that I never knew that her husband was married before we met. She also apologized for having wrong notions about me. We parted on a good note.
In my book, I was plain and blunt. I emphasized on things to check out when choosing a spouse. I made it clear that it is never too early to start praying for a future partner. Praying early enough, is like saving money in a bank. You may never know when you will need the money. The mistake that many people make is that they leave the prayers until when they begin to search for a life partner. Some don’t develop intimacy with God until they want to settle down. If God hasn’t been speaking to you on other areas of your life before, you cannot expect him to selectively speak to you on whom to marry.
In the book, I emphasized on avoiding idols while praying for a future spouse. Having idols can hinder one from hearing from God and seeing clearly. Idols come in terms of physical and material expectations about whom to marry. It may even be spiritual in nature. Some people will insist that they will not marry someone without a particular spiritual gift. Some ladies will want a pastor and no one else. For some, their spouse will have to be from a particular tribe, profession, educational level and the likes. Some ladies will insist that they can’t marry someone that is not already made. It is good to have standard, but it musn’t override the will of God for one’s life. Marrying for beauty or wealth can be very misleading. They are ephemeral things and can fade and fail with time.
Talking on pressure, I wrote in my book that the society has a way of pressurizing people into marriage. They set the right age to marry and see you as a failure when you are not married at that age. They use marriage as a yardstick to measure progress and success in life and see people that are not married as never do wells. Many people have made grievous mistakes in marriage because of pressure. I did.
“Marriage is not a yardstick to measure success.” I pointed out. Yes! Marriage is an ordinance of God, and It is good to get married, but one can be successful in life without being married. Some people have chosen to remain unmarried and have made great successes in life. Thus, the society should stop seeing people that are not married at a particular age or choose to remain unmarried as failures. God has a purpose for everyone and his purpose will come to pass at the right time. We cannot push God. We cannot force the hands of God to do what he will not do. He has a set time for everything and everyone. Although, there are people that are the architects of their own problem. Some have remained unmarried because of factors that aren’t related to God. Whatever the case, everyone should be allowed to live within the capacity that God has placed him.
I dedicated a whole chapter of my book to a topic that I deemed very necessary, especially after my bitter experience with Clement. I tagged the chapter, “Find out about who you are marrying.” In that chapter, I gave a brief narration of what happened to me and the lessons drawn from it. I had the intention of writing another book to share my experience in full details.
” Back in the days of our parents,” I said at the beginning of the chapter. “Finding out about an intended spouse is a very crucial aspect of marriage. Because parents are fully involved and play very important role, it makes things easier and helped many people from getting into wrong homes. It is easy to argue that some of the method used by our parents to do this are unacceptable especially for Christians, but it doesn’t detract from the necessity of knowing who you are marrying. The courtship period is a good time to do this. Find out about his family and background. Watch how he relates with his family and friends. Know the kind of friends he moves with. Be open to each other about your past as you prepare for the future. Ensure you clear every grey areas before you venture into marriage. Above all, be open to the leading of the Holy spirit.
—–
After the divorce, Mrs. Ogunkolade came subtly unto me. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me for Mayowa. I wasn’t ready for a relationship with him. I told her that I wanted to be left alone. She won’t let me rest until I bluntly told her off. She refused to let me be.
One day, she came to my house very early. She was full of smiles. She told me that Mayowa was out of danger now. His psychiatrist has given him an all clear and said he can live a normal life if he doesn’t stop taking his medications. ” I want to facilitate a meeting between you two.” She said.
” Meeting for what?” I asked. I was trying to control my anger.
” I’m just thinking that now that the coast is clear, you two can…”
” Can do what?” I asked irritably and stood up. ” Madam! You are as selfish as I thought you are. Me that I wasn’t good enough for your son, the rejected stone has now become the chief cornerstone. Are you not ashame that I’m still battling with the aftermath of the marriage that you manipulatively arranged between me and Clement?”
” I thought you have forgiven me.”
” Yes of course, I have forgiven you but I want to be left alone. I don’t want to have anything to do with any man for now. Not any man, not your son. By the way, who even assured you that I will like your Mayowa when I meet him?”
” He likes you. I can bring him here so that you can meet.”
” Imagine, you will bring him here so that we can meet.” I pointed. ” See the way you are talking about a man that is 40+. As if you handle the remote control of his life. Read my lips ma. Free your son!. Give him the chance to make his choice by himself. You will not always be there for him. FREE HIM.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟔
If I was lonely before my marriage to Clement, the loneliness after the divorce was next to none. It was stifling, depressing and nerve wracking. Before getting used to staying alone again, at most times, I still had the feeling that Clement would knock at the door one day, and tell me that all that happened was a bad dream, that he had never been married. At most times, I still heard his crooked English in my ears. I still waited for him to call me in his characteristics loud way and demand for ‘swallow’.
It’s easier to endure being alone when you’ve never been married, than to be married and become unmarried. I was back to doing things alone. I reverted back to how I’d always been a picky eater before the marriage with Clement. Once again, My bed became cold at night. I had no one to satisfy my womanly needs. No warmth except if I used the room heater. No one to share pillow talks with. No one to quarell with. In those days, I feared that I might die of loneliness.
Moyo tried in her way to keep me company. She dedicated her time for me and I appreciated it. However, she couldn’t use all her time for me alone, she had her family to cater for. Moreover, she got appointed as a Dean in her faculty. She had a lot on her plate.
At weekends, Moyo would ensure that her children were often around to keep me company. I always looked forward to their visit, wishing Sunday evening won’t come too soon, when she or their dad would come to take them home.
It was on one of such weekends that I got an unexpected visitor.
Before then, I had attended the morning service in the company of Moyo’s kids. We were about leaving the church when someone waved me down. I squinted, thinking if the person was someone that I knew.
He came towards me and smiled. Realization dawned on me, the memory of the first time he came to me asking for my name and how I reacted to him. Today, smiled back at him, cautiously. I didn’t know what his mum had told him about me ; didn’t want him to start having ideas. I wasn’t ready to tow that lane. Moreover, I had begun to see the smile of every man as deceptive. Clement had succeeded in making me to develop a kind of suspicion for me. With suspicion came caution. Two people in my department told me that I had changed. I no more smile like before.
” It’s nice meeting you again.” Mayowa said.
” It’s a pleasure.” I extended my hands.
We stood looking at each other in an awkward silence. Mayowa seemed to be uncomfortable. I wished he would just say something. I wanted to take the girls home and have ample time with them before Moyo will come for them. I had promised them that we were going to make some meatpies.
” I’m resuming at my mum’s school as the administrator this week. She feels I’m well enough and can manage the school very well .”
” Oh!” Why is he telling me this? I asked myself. Try to be nice, the guy has also gone through a lot.
” Now that I’m better, I also think I can go back to a 9-5 job.”
” That will be better.”
He looked backwards and whispered.” My mum musn’t hear this. She’s been pushing me to come and talk to you about marriage.” He cleared his throat. “There was a time that I wished more than anything in this world to be your husband.If mum did not do her own drama by then, maybe we will be married by now. As it is, personally, it will be wicked to get into marriage and burden any woman with my problems now. I’m just learning and beginning to cope with my mental health challenge. There are days that I feel okay, and there are days that I still feel down to the point of ending it. Depression is a life long thing. And until I can fully cope, I can’t bring anyone into my world. It will be a wicked act.”
Wow! So much truthfulness. I felt pity for Mayowa. Looking at him, I felt like telling him that everything will be okay, that I understood and will not mind becoming his wife. Such a fine young man. He shouldn’t be facing this. I wished I could tell him that I can cope with his world and that I will help him to heal. But then, one thing I had learnt is not to act impulsively. It had once cost me a lot. Moreover, you don’t marry for pity, you marry because God wants you to marry and because you are in love.
We exchanged numbers and I promised to be praying for Mayowa.
The impact of what he said wouldn’t leave me when I got home. I managed to do some baking with the girls. They stayed in the living room, watching a movie. They will always push me hard, begging me to do things with them. That afternoon, they knew that I wasn’t in a good mood. Busayo, Moyo’s first daughter peered into my face and asked. ” Aunty, are you okay?”
I parted her on the head. ” Sure! I’m just feeling a bit low.”
” Is it about the uncle that was speaking to you at the church?”
I breathed in deeply. There was no way I could explain my dilemma to this innocent kid. ” I will be okay Busayo. I will be in my room and try to get some sleep. I need to clear my head.”
Busayo smiled mischievously. ” We will come to drag you out of bed in exactly 2 hour time.”
True to her words, 2 hour and Fiyinfoluwa, Moyo’s second daughter was at my door. I had not even slept a wink. I’d been thinking of Mayowa. Thinking of how he could have made a nice husband, and thinking of how I might not be able to cope with another man with mental health challenge. Clement’s was minor, Mayowa had a major challenge, coupled with his drug history.
Fiyinfoluwa opened my bedroom door carefully. Covering my head with a pillow, I feigned anger. ” Fiyinfoluwa, go away!”
” Aunty, you have a visitor.” She said.
” Is that a trick to drag me out of bed?”
She shook her head. ” Nope. Children of God don’t lie.”
” I believe you my dear. Tell the person I’m on my way.”
” Okay Aunty.”
By the way, is the person male or female?”
She blushed. ” A male.” A fine man.” She added and bolted out of the room.
” These children.” I whispered. ” What did she mean by a fine man? Who is the fine man and what is he doing in my house?
Sluggishly, I left the bed to check out the visitor that wouldn’t allow me have my nap. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
He stood in the living room, facing my portrait on the wall. I knew who he was from the back, what I didn’t know was why he was in my house. I felt like dashing to the kitchen and getting an orogun( wooden spatula).
I cleared my throat and he turned. We stood facing each other without saying anything. He was the first to find his voice. ” Hello sister Abigail.” He said. ” It’s good to see you again.”
I nodded and asked. Is there a reason why you are here?”
He frowned. ” Is that how to welcome a friend that you’ve not seen in a long time?”
“And who is that friend? Bro Segun! why are you here? I don’t have time for frivolities. I was about sleeping when the children came to wake me up.”
“Sorry about that. I came to see you.”
” And you are seeing me. What is this about?”
Segun turned his head towards the children. I cleared my throat. ” Busayo, please go into my bedroom and use the TV there.” I eyed Segun. ” I want to have a chat with my visitor.”
” Okay Aunty.”
Segun cleared his throat after the children had left. ” Sis Abigail, I’m sorry about what happened to you.”
I flared up. Couldn’t quantify my level of antagonism towards him. He’s surely going to get a beating from my tongue. He will also suffer for what Clement and other men had ever done to me, including him. ” I guess you are here to mock me. You are here to tell me to my face that my husband, the reason why I stayed away from you all this while is not worth it. You are all the same; birds of a feather, cheats, opportunists, perverts. You always want to reap where you didn’t sow. For your notice, I’m over men. I can leave my life alone. I don’t need a man to be happy. Happiness comes from God and he has given it to me in hundredfold.” I pointed at the door. ” Get off my property and never come back.”
All the while, Segun stood with arms akimbo, starring at me like he was watching a drama. After I paused in my speech, he stepped closer. I stopped him with my hand raised. ” Don’t dare it.”
” I’m not Clement, Sis Abigail, and I’m not here to mock you. I feel your pain. I can never mock you. You will always hold a special place in my heart.”
” Imagine,” I mimicked him in a funny way. ” You will always hold a special place in my heart. What have I done to merit that space. Oh! Because you slept with me? Because you got free access to my body? What happened between us was a mistake that will never repeat itself. I’d rather stay celibate than commit adultery again. If that is the reason why you are here, since I am free now, you want to take advantage of me. You think that Abigail doesn’t have a man now, she must be craving for the touch of a man. You think I’m vulnerable. Well, you are mistaken. Go and look for another victim.”
” I won’t even dream of it.” Segun responded. If anything intimate will happen between us, it has to be when you become my wife.”
” See the way he’s talking. Your wife indeed. You sure know that I can’t be your wife. Leave my house now!”
” Sister Abigail.”
” Don’t Abigail me. Infact, don’t ever call my name again.”
” Sister Abigail calm down.”
” Go and tell your WIFE and all your daughters to calm down. Get out before I call the estate security on you.”
” Sister Abigail.”
” Get out!” I screamed. The scream attracted the girls, making them to rush out of the bedroom. Busayo looked from me to Segun and back to me again. She asked. ” Aunty, are you okay?”
“Sure. Go back into the bedroom.”
She looked hesitantly at me. I nodded. She obeyed. Immediately she left, I whispered to Segun. I pointed to the guest room. ” I’m going in there. I don’t want to see you when I return.
The moment I entered the guest room, I bolted the door and sat with my back against it. My tears began to flow in torrents. Few minutes later, there was a loud knock on the door.
” Go away.” I shouted. ” I don’t want to talk to you.”
” Abigail, open the door. It’s Moyo.”
I opened the door and ran into Moyo’s arms. She hugged me without talking. She allowed me to cry. With the tears running down, I felt a bit relieved. Moyo raised my chin and looked directly into my eyes. ” Everything will be okay.”
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓𝟕
𝑺𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑵’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
Abigail humiliated me. I have never felt so humiliated in my life. She came at me as if I had offended her before. Like I was her worst enemy in life. She told me to my face that I was an opportunist and a cheat. She also called me names. I had never seen her act like that. She must have been feeling so much pain to act in the way she did. I felt her pain. I should be angry for being so humiliated, but instead of anger,I felt sorry for Abigail. No woman should go through what she went through. I wished I could wipe away her tears. She deserved happiness.
I wasn’t spying but I had always kept tab on her. I knew that Abigail wasn’t married on the day that I and Ronke first visited her office. I was surprised by her lies and cover up. I had always marveled at why she had remained single all the while. For crying out loud, Abigail was one of the most decent, upright and sought after sisters at UI.
I had a soft spot for Abigail. The first day I met her, I concluded that there was something special about her. I was already in 400 level, while she had just gotten admission. For me, she stood out among all the new entrants that were being welcomed into our fellowship. It wasn’t about what she wore or what she did. I couldn’t place why I should feel the way I felt. My eyes kept going back to her. At a time, she caught me starring and I quickly turned my eyes away. I cautioned myself. I shouldn’t be doing that. I should focus on the program. I endured for the length of the service. Back in my off-k room, I couldn’t stop thinking about the new sister. For the first time in my life, I think I fell in love.
When I realized that it was love, I got confused. Was I supposed to fall in love with Abigail before hearing from God about her? Was it proper to ask God if she is the one meant for me, since I was already in Love. Maybe I’m being carnal, I told myself. I had no experience about love and relationships.
I had always been conservative, shy and reserved. I remembered how classmates would laugh me to scorn in secondary school because I had no girlfriend. Everyone was doing it. They all knew that I was a VIRGIN.
I was shy. I had strict parents. I was a genuine church boy; gave my life to Christ at 13, and got baptized at 14. Girls were a no go area. My classmates did all they could to initiate me. They failed. My heart was set on Christ and my studies. I had the dream of graduating from secondary school with an outstanding result and getting admission into UI to read medicine. I had always been an Ibadan boy.
One day, the bad boys in my class arranged a girl for me. They knew my routine, that I always stayed back in class for an extra hour after the prep to study. It was easier because I was a school prefect and no one would question me for doing that. That day, the arranged girl came hard at me. She wanted us to go down in the classroom. Despite having a hold on me, I managed to escape from her grip. She had locked the classroom doors. I jumped out through the window. By the next morning, the entire class couldn’t contain their laughter. Kikelomo had gisted them of what happened.
I entered the University with the same mentality. For me, girls were a no go area until I would be ready for marriage. If girls in the secondary school didn’t let me rest, the University was worse. I had lot of admirers, even in the fellowship. Especially in the fellowship.
Sisters came to me both overtly and covertly. Despite my naivety, I read lots of handwritings on the wall. The shy ones would make subtle signals, while the bold ones would come directly at me. I got a lot of ‘ the Lord says you are my husband’. If I had wanted, I would have been eating free food at every point in time. But I knew free food could be dangerous. I was always returning their cooler with the excuse that I was fasting. Soon, I got nicknamed ‘ the brother that is always fasting’.
I couldn’t explain the sort of attraction that I had for Abigail. Honestly, I fought it. I didn’t want to be distracted. I stopped fighting when I realized that fighting the attraction was sapping too much of my energy and making me unhappy. Also, I discovered that it was possible that Abigail also liked me. With the way she was acting towards me, I felt that the attraction might be mutual. However, I was super scared of talking to her. I was always tongue tied whenever I had to speak to her alone. It was easy talking to other sisters. For Abigail, I found it very difficult.
I turned to God and asked if Abigail was my wife. I wasn’t clear if God was saying yes or no. I wanted to push things. We could just be friends till I got an answer from God. I was at the point of doing that when Ronke gave me a devastating news that Abigail was engaged to the fellowship president.
Ronke used my reaction that day to get me. She knew that I was devastated by the news of Abigail’s engagement. I allowed her follow me to my off-k room. She sat and comforted me, that I could have other sisters that are better than Abigail. She said that there was nothing special about Abigail.
Ronke made noddles and we ate together. We continued gisting till late into the night. No lady had ever stayed that long in my room. Before we knew it, it was almost midnight. Ronke stood up to go. I told her that it was dangerous to go out at that time. The Olodes in my area will deal with her. She might also encounter cult guys if she manage to get into the campus. I asked her to stay for the night. I could sleep on the floor while Ronke takes the bed.
Ronke requested to have her bath. She took my towel. Few minutes later, she got out of the shower with the towel around her waist. Either by error or otherwise, the towel fell off exposing her nudity. She shrieked. For the first time in my life, I saw the body of a fully grown woman. The big man underneath responded. We made love.
Just that slip and Ronke came a month later to tell me that she was pregnant. We had no other choice than to get married.
For over 15 years, our marriage was turbulent. I couldn’t stop comparing Ronke to my ideal woman; Abigail. She hated it for every of the single day that I reminded her that it was Abigail I wanted to marry. We could have parted ways but for our children. We knew what separation or divorce could do to children. We continued to endure each other till we rediscovered peace and fell properly in love.
For two years before Ronke left me, we enjoyed our marriage. We set aside our differences and decided to work together. Those were the days that constitute my sweet memories. I learnt something big from my marriage with Ronke. Because life is short, it is good to hold people that we love dearly. Our life is like a puff of smoke. Today we are here and tomorrow we are gone. Love well. Create beautiful memories. I had beautiful memories of the last years with Ronke. I was grateful that she didn’t die when our marriage was still turbulent.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗘 𝟱𝟴
𝑺𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑵’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
After I and Abigail fell into the sin of adultery, I came to a full realization that I had the tendency to fall into s@xual sin given an enabling environment. If the first time was due to my inexperience, why couldn’t I control myself with Abigail. Take it that I love her, but I should have protected her instead of drawing her to sin with me. Twice have I fallen cheaply. The first led me into a rushed marriage. The second almost made me fall into depression. It drove me apart from the woman I have always loved. Putting my past experiences into consideration, I made concrete plans on how to shield myself from future occurrences. I was open to temptations day in day out. It’s like a world of women on rampage; the young and old, big and small, married and unmarried. A particular patient had been throwing herself at me. She wouldn’t bulge even when I told her that I wasn’t available. I had to block her when she will not stop sending me her nude pictures.
For the remaining years of my life, I vowed to stay away from sexual sin. Man shall not live by s@x alone. There’s more to life than sleeping with women. So help me God.
I couldn’t take Abigail off my mind. I prayed to God to give me the strength to forget her. Since she was married, there could be no headway with her. I couldn’t pray for her husband to die. Because of Abigail, I began to pray to God to give me another wife. Having a woman by my side might make me get over Abigail. Anything to remain sane.
It’s not always that you end up marrying who you love. I accepted that Abigail was out of my reach. I could only marry her in my dreams.
By the way, Samuel made good his threat to stop attending church because of what I and Abigail did. He called us hypocrites to my face. I guess he told his sisters of what happened because they asked me if it was true that I had a girlfriend and had been bringing her to the house to spend the night. I lost Samuel’s trust and I almost lost the girls’ as well.
At that point, I knew that I must work hard to get Samuel back. I had failed him by going against what I had always preached about. I knew that God was going to hold me accountable if I lose Samuel to the world. Therefore, I went to God crying and making promises that I will never derail again.
As a parent, if you want your child to come out well, act well before them. Don’t be a good parent just by words, do what you teach as well. That is why many parents fail. Children learn by imitation. Right from childhood, they see what you say and do. They copy you. It is an established fact that the brain of a child is like a clean slate. Whatever you write there will remain there.
I had written good things in Samuel’s brain since childhood. Even when I and Ronke were having it rough, we always have our quarrels away from the kids. What Samuel saw me do with Abigail was like writing over what he already had in his brain, I needed to do what will make things right.
It took lots of prayer and patience. I refused to fight with him, rather I depended on God to turn back his heart to himself. I showed Samuel love more than before. Even when he deliberately did things to make me angry, I refused to get angry. Gradually, Samuel started losing the fight. God was working on him.
One day, he came to me in an agitated mood. His body shook from fear. I calmed him down and asked what the problem was.
” Dad, I think I have HIV.” Samuel said.
I was shocked. Sweat broke out on my forehead. I pulled him to myself.” What did you say?” I asked.
Samuel pulled free. ” I think I’ve been infected with HIV.”
” Why…why…why did you say that?”
” My girlfriend…”
” Your girlfriend? You have a girlfriend?”
Samuel couldn’t look at my face.” Her name is Vicky.” He said. “She’s been after me for a relationship since we got into school. I decided to give in to her advances after I saw you and Dr. Abigail together. I concluded that since you could do that, there’s no harm in giving in and doing what most people are doing.”
” Jesus!”
” Vicky has been sick for a while now. We went to the hospital and they did some test on her. She confided in me that she tested positive to HIV. She’s suicidal. She thinks that her world has ended.”
My body shook as I asked. ” Have you…? I couldn’t bring myself to mention the word s@x. I made a sign with my hand. ” Did you…”
Samuel shook his head. ” Not really Dad, but we’ve had sessions of very deep kissing. I had also fingered her on several occasions. We’ve been having oral…s@x. Last month, we almost did it. At the point of entering her, It was like something pulled me back to sanity, just like on several occasions before. It came to my mind that I had no 100% trust in Vicky. She might be sleeping with other men. I was also scared that she might get pregnant and pin it on me. Now, I’m afraid that she has given me HIV since we kissed a lot and the oral…”
I breathed in deeply. ” Yes. HIV can get into one’s system through kissing, but it depends on so many things. The viral load of the carrier, the concentration of the virus in the saliva and if you have any injury in your mouth at the time you kissed. Why am I even telling you this? You should know better, since you are a medical student. Whatever the case, you will get tested now and later at 6 months. Thanks for opening up to me. I love you so much. I’m sorry for being a bad example.”
I hugged Samuel, hoping that I haven’t used my hand to spoil the future of my son. Samuel prostrated flat and asked for my forgiveness. ” Dad.” He said. ” Now I know that whenever we want to hurt others, we also hurt ourself. I was trying to get back at you, not knowing that I was heading for destruction. I’m sorry.”
Samuel was tested and came out negative. He became a better son. He got firefied more than before, far more than his father was at his age. He became the prayer coordinator in his fellowship. I will always tell Samuel to be careful with the sisters in the fellowship, so that what happened to me will not repeat itself.
” You know son, you have to be extra careful. I was upright and sexually pure before I fell into sin with your mum. Temptations will come your way. You must be very vigilant.”
Samuel will always tell me about his admirers in the fellowship. I told him the story of my life, including how I and his mother came to be together. I advised him to invite Vicky to the house. I preached Christ to her. I made sure she registered at my practice for her antiretroviral drugs and other care. I also counseled her that HIV is not the end of life, she could still live a productive life.
One weekend, Samuel was at home with us. We sat together in the living room, watching a football match. He made a statement and I turned.
” What did you just say?” I asked.
” I said that I saw Dr. Abigail at the school yesterday. She looked unhappy. Rumors has been going round among the students that her husband left her.”
” Yes!” I replied in an emotion ladened voice. ” Abigail has gone lthrough a lot. She needs help but is not ready to take the help. She is seriously hurting. She doesn’t want anyone around her, especially men. I don’t know how to get through to her. “
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟓9
ABIGAIL’S POV
I heard a voice, as if someone was speaking from my back.
𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒐 𝒎𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒈𝒓𝒖𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆. 𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒐𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏 𝒈𝒐 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏, 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚. 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒆 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒚 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒚 𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.
The words hit me hard. I dropped on the sofa and threw my head back, closing my eyes. I allowed my mind to x-ray my activities in the past few months, especially my reaction to people and situations.
Do I still abhor grudge in my heart? I asked myself. I had told myself that I had forgiven Clement for what he did to me. Who is deceiving who? God knows the intent of every heart. God cannot be mocked. In-depthly, I hated Clement. Deep down, I wished that something bad would happen to him as a consequence of what he made me go through.
I had read somewhere that when you keep grudge in your heart, you hurt yourself much more than you hurt your offender. It makes you to pay most dearly. Keeping grudge exposes you to both physical and spiritual problems. Physically, it can increase your chance of anxiety, depression and several other mental health issues. It can also increase your blood pressure and expose you to various cardiovascular challenges. Anger, hatred, grudge weakens one’s abdominal muscles and predisposes to peptic ulcer.
Spiritually, unforgiveness and grudge can hinder prayer.Matthew 5:23-24
Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Unforgiveness affects your spirit and your soul, hindering your spiritual growth and fruitfulness. Makes you feel spiritually dry, stuck, or stalled in your spiritual life. Unforgiveness builds a wall between you and God. Fear replaces peace and imprisonment replaces freedom.
I did not want unforgiveness to hinder my growth and my ministry. I had started receiving invitations for ministrations and counselling. My success will depend on the ability to forgo the past and step into the future. Holding onto the past will only rob me of a glorious future.
I knew what to do. With shaky hands, I picked my phone and dialed a number. Clement picked at the 2nd ring.
” Hallo.” He said.
” Good morning, Mr. Clement.”
” Good morning, Sister Abigail.”
I cleared my throat. ” I just called to tell you that I forgive you from the depth of my heart. I want to heal but I know that I cannot heal while still holding grudge against you. You hurt me in a bad way but I forgive you. I wish you well with your family.”
After I finished speaking, Clement remained silent for a long time. I thought that he had cut the call. ” Hello!” I said. ” Are you still there?”
” Yes.” Sister… Abigail. I sorry for what I do. I sorry well, well. Uncountable times. I pray God, he give you good man. You, Abigail, good woman. Good man, he come. Good man, he come, do you like king wife. Thank you. You forgive me. I happy.”
Hearing his voice again, I became emotional. I easily cry these days. I started dropping tears, and cried myself to sleep.
You can call it a dream or a trance. I had frequently been having same kind of dream since I parted way with Clement.
In the dream I will see a man holding two kids; a boy and a girl. The boy is a bit older than the girl. I have never seen the face of the man, but he’s always standing and holding the kids. The boy looks like someone that I know. The girl looks exactly like me . Almost every day, I’ll see the man with the kids.
After I called Clement to tell him that I forgave him and I cried myself to sleep, I saw the man again. This time around, his face was clearly visible to me. He walked towards me and handed one of the kids to me, while holding the other in his arm. His free arm went around my shoulder. The man drew me to himself, looked into my eyes and said affirmatively. “God has given me the responsibility to take care of you and our children.”
I startled awake and held unto my chest. The dream looked too real, like the man and the kids were right with me in the room. But…how can? I began to say. How is it possible that? God! Is this a revelation? What do I make of this?
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟔𝟎
𝑺𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑵’𝑺 𝑷𝑶𝑽
The coast is clear!
The coast clear!
The vision is clear and accurate!
I mimed like a school child. I must take courage and do the needful. But before then, there was another important thing that must be done.
I paced the length and breath of my living room, thinking of what I needed to do and wishing there was another way I could go about it. I was about to end a relationship. I wanted to be free to start another relationship. Maybe I’m confusing someone. I will explain.
I started a relationship with a lady in my church about a year ago. Diekola is a widow, lost her hubby about 3 years back, just around when I lost Ronke. She’s much more younger than I am. Had only a five year old son. She’d been trusting God for someone to take the place of her husband.
My church had a fellowship for widows and widowers, were we met, received teaching, prayed and generally socialized. Many beautiful marriages had resulted from the mingling in the widow’s fellowship.
When I decided that I would get another wife, I choose Diekola. We related well in the fellowship. I knew she was ready to settle down. Our relationship was like opportunity met preparedness. I’m going to marry Diekola and that is it, I told myself. My Dad is 90 and still alive. If I will live to be as old as him, that means I might live over 30 years alone, without a wife. The children will soon leave the house. My nest will soon be empty. I needed companionship.
Diekola loved me. I sensed danger when I couldn’t reciprocate her love. History was about to repeat itself. It seemed that I just wanted to marry her for convenience. I endured the relationship for a while, until I decided to do the needful, tell Diekola how I felt. The earlier, the better. I was scared to tell her to her face. She might over react, so I placed a call to her.
” Hello Sister Diek,” I started.”
” Hello Doctor, I was just about to call to know if you are at home. I made a nice efo riro, garnished with ponmo and prawn. I want to drop come, drop some for you.”
I cleared my throat. ” I’m at home but I will be going out very soon. There’s something I want to tell you.”
” Okay.”
” I choose to say this by phone because I’m scared of how you might react if…”
” You are already scaring me Doctor, what is it?”
” Sister Diek.” I called.
” Dr. What is it?”
” I’m sorry but, I think we should end our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, we can still be friends but we shouldn’t think of marri…”
” Oh…”
” Much as I have been trying, reciprocating your love has been difficult. I just realized that I only want to marry you for convenience. That doesn’t sound too good. You are a lovely lady. You need a man that will love you sincerely…”
” It is her abi?” Diekola cut into my talk.
” Who?”
” You know who I’m talking about. It’s always been her. Even when we are together, you keep hammering on how she just left a bad marriage and how you want to help her than any other thing. You told me of how you’ve always loved her. There’s always a sparkle in your eyes whenever you speak about her.”
” Well ” I cleared my throat. ” It will not be good for me to marry you to become a second fiddle. Abigail will always have a special place in my heart. And now, I have every reason to believe that God wants me to be her husband. The coast is clear.”
” What if she rejects you.”
” I will keep trying. This time around, I will not miss her.”
” I wish you luck Doctor.” Diekola said. ” E go pain me small Sha, but truth be told, you did the best by letting me know. I go increase my waka. No hard feeling. I wish you luck with her.”
I dropped the phone and sighed with relief, happy that the chapter had been closed forever. Bracing up, I decided that I was going to see Abigail despite what she did the last time we met. Who knows? Maybe this time around, she will throw hot water on me or use a pestle to break my head. My health insurance will cover whatever damage she cause.
As I drove out of my compound, I was in time to see my soldier neighbor driving out with his wife. He drove down and parked beside me.
” Dr. Segun,” thanks for the other day.” He said. ” We enjoyed the bush meat.”
His wife was seated by his side smiling. Their almost 2 years old was at the back playing with a toy piano. I looked at my watch.”
” You seem to be in a hurry,” my soldier neighbor said.
” Actually, I’m going on a suicide mission.”
” Suicide mission?” The couple chorused and looked at each other.
” There’s a woman I’ve been trying to get across to. She lambasted me the last time I was at her house. I’m thinking she will pour hot water on me today.” I pointed at the soldier’s wife. ” Madam! Can you remember the day that your Oga asked me to take you to the market for baby things when this small man was still inside?”
” How can I forget?”
” Can you remember the lady that we met seated close to the entrance of the shop where we bought most of the things?”
” Sure! It’s not easy to forget that kind of person. She had a sort of rebuffing attitude. With the way she reacted to you that day, I concluded that there was something between you two. She acted jealous, as if she wasn’t happy seeing you with me. Maybe she thought I was your wife. But…she was heavily pregnant. How…don’t tell me you are after someone’s wife.”
” Not at all. It is a long story. One of these day, I will gist you two. As for now, wish me luck.”
————-
Before getting to Abigail’s house, I prayed for God to direct my speech and speak through me. I just needed to get across to her.
I knocked and waited with abated breath. She opened, starred and looked through me. She turned. I remained at a spot.
Abigail turned back and faced me. She asked. ” Are you not coming in?”
Good sign. At least, she welcomed me in. I sat at the edge of the sofa. She went in and brought a pack of juice and a glass cup. Pointing at it, she asked me to serve myself.
” Thank you.” I said as I poured the drink.
Abigail frowned and asked. ” How are the kids. How is Samuel?”
” They are all doing fine.”
“And your wife?”
” What wife?”
” I asked about your wife.”
” There’s no wife Abigail. I am as single as you left me.”
Abigail narrowed her eyes at me. ” What are you talking about? Who was the pregnant lady that I saw with you at the market back then?”
Have you forgotten? I saw you together at the market doing baby shopping.”
I smiled. Eniola was right afterall. ” Is that why you’ve been giving me attitude?” I asked Abigail. ” Is that the reason why you over reacted the other day? You thought that I was married and not supposed to be here. You thought I was going to take advantage of you. You should have asked.”
Abigail shrugged. ” It’s none of my business.”
” It should be, seeing that it affected your reaction to me. Okay, to clear things, Eniola is my neighbor’s wife. Her husband is a military man and you know how they are always busy. The day you saw us together, I was at their house and she was almost in tears. Her husband was supposed to take her for baby shopping, just for him to cancel at the last minute because of a distress call from the barracks. She couldn’t drive. Eniola was disgruntled. Her husband begged me to follow her to the market and stay by her side. I was free and I obliged.”
I saw something cross over Abigail’s face. I was sure that one gate had crashed down. I sighed in relief.
” I have always prayed for you Sister Abigail. What happened between us might have drawn us apart, making me to be physically absent from you, but my mind is always with you. I knew you went through a lot in your marriage and I kept having the feeling that the marriage won’t last. I kept a tab on you from a distance. I knew when you had the accident and the loss of the baby, possibly our baby that was sown in sin but loved by God all the same. I wished the baby had lived anyways, even if it wasn’t mine. When I heard about what your husband did, I wanted to come straightaway to be by your side but I knew that you needed space to heal and adjust. Staying away from you all this while was a torture. Abigail! I’ve been praying for you and for us.”
Abigail shrugged and opened her arms wide. “Why us?”
” I don’t know how you will take this. It’s been six months after your divorce. I have stayed away all this while for you to heal. I’m sure that God is giving us a second chance at happiness. I don’t want to miss you again. I have missed you several times. I want you to pray about being my wife.”
” Just like that?” Abigail asked. I wished she could show some enthusiasm. She was too facially flat for my peace of mind.
I moved closer to her. ” We are not kids. There’s no time to waste.”
” So, is this a sort of proposal?”
” You want me to go on my knees? This old man is beginning to have issue with one of his knees.”
” How old are you?”
” 54, but I have a youthful mind. I’m still as strong as an iroko tree.”
” So you are not married?” Abigail asked. I could feel the vibe of distrust. Who did this to my girl? I cried from within. I wanted the trusting vibrant Abigail back.
” Are you still doubting me? You can sniff around and …why not come to check the house?”
Abigail raised a hand. ” Your house? Spare me.”
The way she said ‘ spare me’ was funny. It carried meaning. I understood. We both bursted into laughter. The first laugh of the evening from Abigail. The room became brighter with her laughter. Another hurdle crossed.
” Well.” She said. ” I will pray and get back to you.”
She stood intertwining her hands. She looked vulnerable. ” I’m sorry about how I treated you the other time.” She said. “You know it’s not in my nature. ..
” I know. It is okay.”
I wanted to move close and hug her, but I held myself back. Until then, until then, no touching. I can wait. God will give me the grace to wait.
” I will pray and get back to you.” Abigail repeated.
” And I will wait.” I responded. ” I will wait because you are worth waiting for. I won’t let this chance pass me by.”
Abigail watched as I drove out of her compound. She didn’t stop waving until I couldn’t see her through the rear mirror again. Just before I left her, I noticed that her facial countenance had changed. maybe I was imagining things, but she looked like someone just gave her a good news. She looked happy. I was happy that she was happy.
TO BE CONTINUED…
God is the original arranger ..hmmm it’s never too late with God….
It’s like we have a wedding to plan oooo .. 
who’s in charge of aseobi???? I will take charge of the bags of rice 
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟔𝟏
I said YES to Segun, at exactly a week after he proposed. If I had given him a yes on the very day he made his intentions known to me, it wouldn’t have been out of place. I knew that he was going to come. I also knew that he would propose to me, that we were going to get married and have two children, in addition to the ones that Segun already had.
What I wasn’t clear about was the wife part. How could Segun be married and still be the right man for me? I knew God wouldn’t show him to me as my husband if he was married. When Segun confirmed that Eniola was his neighbor’s wife, I couldn’t quantify the kind of relief I had, like a heavy load had been lifted off my head.
On Sunday morning, Segun called and asked if I could join him and the children for lunch later in the day. I promised to be there.
I dressed well. I attended the first service. I danced like someone had dashed me money. No one knew why I was dancing. I needed to dance like David did because, at last, there was light at the end of the tunnel.
When we closed from church and I was about driving home, I saw Moyo in the distance. She was getting into the passenger seat of her car. Dele was at the wheel. Moyo left her car and jogged towards me. She smiled. ” You look good.”
” You too.” I responded.
” Hmmmm. Honestly, you are looking younger.”
I smiled. ” Good food. exercise and rest of mind.”
” You scatter ground with dance in the church today. Wetin dey happen? How is it? Any show?” She asked.
” Nothing.”
” Hmmm. What are you not telling me? Have we started keeping secrets?” She feigned anger.
I turned my face and blushed. Moyo pulled the sleeve of my blouse. ” What are you hiding? Woman of God.”
” Segun invited me to his house. All the children are around. He wants me to have lunch with them.”
” I go love o. At last”
” I’m going to give him a ‘yes’ today. I’m sure that God’s hand is in this.”
Moyo smiled. ” I’m happy for you. This time around, it is a win win.”
” I thought you don’t like Segun.”
” That was then. I had my reasons. This is now. I’m happy that he loves you. I’m sure that he’s going to make a good husband. And…”
” And what?”
” The bobo make sense small.” She said mischievously. ” But he no fine reach my Dele”
” Na you talk am. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. On a serious note, I’m scared of meeting his children. Especially with what happened in the past.”
” They won’t eat you. They will accept you if they love their father. Any man that gets you is lucky.”
” You flatter me.”
” But that’s the truth. Always ensure to take one step at a time. Don’t be scared. Everything will be okay.”
—-
I approached Segun’s house with apprehension. What if the children don’t accept me? That might definitely affect my decision. Would it? I loved Segun and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. This time around, I was sure God wanted us to be together.
I musn’t have been apprehensive about the children. Samuel met me at the door and prostrated half way. I raised him up and smiled. ” God bless you Samuel.”
” You are welcome ma.”
There was nothing in his attitude to show that he was still angry with me.
Segun and the girls were in the kitchen. The moment I entered, an ear to ear grin appeared on his face. Cleaning his hands on a napkin, he walked towards me. ” Thanks for coming.”
” It’s a pleasure.” I blushed. Too much blushing.
The two girls pushed their father playfully. ” Daddy you can leave now.” They chorused together. ” Aunty Abigail will assist us with the remaining cooking.”
” Imagine.” Segun said playfully. ” This is pure gender discrimination.”
The girls could hardly wait for their father to leave before bombarding me with questions.
“Are you going to marry Dad?”
“He’s so lonely.”
“He needs a woman in his life.”
“He can’t stop talking about you.”
Adediwura apologized for her rudeness when I and Segun visited her in the school. ” I think I was kind of jealous for mum.” She said. ” But now, I have come to term with the fact that she’s gone and Dad needs to move on with his life. He loves you.”
” What do you know about love?” I asked.
She winked and buried her face in my bosom. I needed no seer to tell me that I had been accepted by Segun’s children.
Settled on lounge chairs in the garden later on, I and Segun spoke in low tunes.
” I’m ready to marry you.” I told him. ” I’m sure that God wants us to be together.”
” Yes.” Segun nodded.
” I was scared that I might not be able to birth children again because of the complication that I had during the accident, but God has shown me that we are going to have two kids together, a boy and a girl.”
Segun smiled. ” I’m not marrying you solely for the sake of having children? Don’t get me wrong. I will like us to have even if it is just one kid together. I will like to have a girl that will look exactly like you. However, either we get kids together or not, I will always love you. I will never take you for granted. I will forever cherish and honour you.”
” Well.” I smiled. ” We can go ahead.”
” Go ahead. You mean wedding preparation?”
I nodded. ” Yes! No time to waste. I love you Bro Segun. I love you so much.”
Segun bounced up and danced to an imaginary musician. He opened his arms wide. I hesitated.
” Common. We are outside. Just a little hug.”
I walked shyly into to his embrace. I felt like a teenager falling in love for the first time. At last, I knew that I was home.
TO BE CONTINUED
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝟔𝟐
My story ended well. God gave me a man after his heart. I did not just get a husband in Segun, I also got a father and friend. My husband is a family man to the core. Thinking of it now, Segun’s family was an already made one. All they needed was a mother. I fitted in perfectly. His children made things easy for me. They were well trained and polite.
The first time Adediwura called me mum, I couldn’t hide my tears of joy. Me- Mum! I was a bit confused as to who she was referring to. When I realized that she was referring to me, I drew her cheeks. ” Yes Diwura.” I said. ” Thanks for this special gift.”
After accepting Segun’s proposal, we wasted no time in fixing date for our nuptial. I was very expectant. Unlike my first wedding that was hush hush, I wanted this one to be loud and big.
Mama looked at me curiously and shook her head when I told her of my plan for a big wedding. I also told her that I wanted it to hold in the village.
I had my reasons. God had wrought his deliverance for me and my sisters. I was finally getting ‘truly’ married and settled. Comfort’s husband had gone back to his senses and gotten a good job. He would come during my wedding to take his wife and children with him back to their base. Out of the blues, Sarah’s husband had returned and apologized for not getting in touch with her all this while. He had been struggling to get his complete papers in UK. He would come for my wedding as well, and would take Sarah back with him. My sister would be going abroad with her husband.
All the testimonies sounded too good. But if you believe in the God that parted the red sea for the children of Israel to pass through and drowned their enemies in the same sea, then you will know that there’s nothing he cannot do. He’s the God that can break the gate of brass and cut the bars of iron asunder. He broke every family yoke. I was too sure that he was going to do it for my remaining two siblings.
When I told mama that I wanted to have my 2nd wedding in the village,she looked at me and asked. ” Village bawo? You insisted on doing your first wedding in the city. Now, you want to have this one in the village. You are marrying two men within 3 years. What do you want people to say about you?”
” Mama, they can say whatever they want to say. I have no explanation to give to anyone. But if they care to know, tell them that it is my life. Do I have to tell you that my first marriage was a mistake. This one is divinely arranged by God. It should have happened over 20 years ago. Segun is the man that I have always loved. I have also realized that he’s the will of God for me. I want to spend every single day of the remaining years of my life with him. Anyone that is not happy with what I’m doing should go to court.”
” Kole to yen” mama smiled. ” I am very happy that Jesus is making this to happen. This your Segun looks like a good man.”
” He is, mama.”
” Unlike Kileme that is always frowning.”
“Mamaaaaa. He is Clement not Kileme.”
” Hmmm, koseyi tolorun o gbo. To tell you the truth, I am happy that you are now marrying a Yoruba man. He will treat you well.”
” On the contrary mama, Segun will treat me well not because he is Yoruba, but because he’s a child of God and he loves me. Segun will still treat me well even if he is Igbo or Hausa or Tiv or a non Nigerian. My first marriage didn’t fail because Clement wasn’t Yoruba. It failed because our foundation wasn’t right. We both had our faults.”
Mama nodded. ” I understand you. It is well.”
——
The wedding went well. I moved back to Ibadan and started a new life with my husband. At exactly a month after our wedding, I noticed that I was sort of feeling heavy. Too much sleep. Little appetite. My breasts became tender and heavy. Most times, I felt like throwing up. Can this be true? So soon. I bought a pregnancy test kit and tested myself. Several tests. All came out positive.
Two days later, Segun watched as I picked on my food while we ate on the dinning table. He narrowed his eyes and asked. ” Are you okay.”
” Yes!” I answered too quickly.
” No you are not. What are you hiding?”
He stood up from his chair and moved to the chair next to me. I clung to him and buried my head in his chest.
” When is your menses due?” He asked.
” It’s not coming. I bought a kit yesterday and tested myself. I am pregnant.”
” WOW!”
Oluwapamilerin( The Lord has made me to laugh) came at nine months. I was booked for an elective CS, but two days to the proposed date of the CS, I fell into labor.
My husband almost ran crazy as he drove me to the hospital. ” Jesus have mercy!” He prayed repeatedly. ” Sweet heart, you are not supposed to have a vaginal delivery. Your uterus cannot take the stress of labor. Jesus please help us. “
Everything was set for an emergency CS. The moment we landed at the hospital, I was placed on a gurney and wheeled directly to the theatre. I started pushing before getting to the theater door.
Segun held my hand and pleaded. “Aby mi( that’s his special name for me) Please don’t push.”
” I can’t hold it. The pressure is too much.”
Theatre door opened. I began to push again. One of the Doctors parted and raise my laps. She screamed in surprise. ” Head is already at the perineum.”
Oluwapamilerin came without stress. He looks exactly like his father. Even the diastema.
A year later, I got pregnant again. We trusted God to see me through. My husband will always wake up at night and lay his hands on my tummy. He prayed for me when I was too weak to pray. He pampered me like one would a baby.
Just like her brother, Moyo came through spontaneous vaginal delivery. Her coming was dramatic.
Like during the birth of her brother, we were prepared for an elective CS. One week to the time, on a Saturday evening, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when my water broke. Throughout the day, I had been feeling pressed and frequenting the loo. I didn’t take it as a sign of labour. Segun had been busy that day and returned home late. He was fagged out.
I was at the sink when I felt something warm come down my legs. I shouted. Segun rushed into the kitchen. I pointed at the floor. ” My water just broke.”
” Jesus! We have to go to the hospital now.”
” I can’t move.” I cried. ” Seems the baby is here.”
My husband forgot that he was a doctor. Left the kitchen. Returned. He was confused.
I screamed. ” Take me to the treatment room. I’m pressed.”
” Hospital. I’m looking for the car key.”
” No!” I screamed again. ” Treatment room.”
Segun supported me to the treatment room in the house. I pointed at the surgical gloves by the wall as a hard contraction hit me. ” Put on your gloves. Check me!”
The baby was too near. She wouldn’t have waited for us to get to the hospital. Five minutes later, Moyosoreoluwa( I rejoice in the goodness of the Lord) came. She’s an exact copy of me. Just like my husband wanted.
We are still together, living happily. I, my husband and our five children. Samuel has graduated from medical school. Adediwura and her sisters are undergraduates now. I have become a fully fledged Professor of Biochemistry. Day in day out, we continue to bask in the glory of the Lord. God is good.
THE END
*************************
I guess we got a lot of lessons from this wonderful story… Feel free to hit the comment section for the lessons learnt ,,, God bless you!!!
