Around Valentine period this year, I was having a chat with my fellow younger wives on the YWC platform. I actually wanted to know their plans for valentine and we had fun sharing exciting ideas. I remember one of us had wishes for Valentine, she wanted her husband to surprise her but then she said she was sure he won’t because he’s not into surprisesπππ Meanwhile she had planned surprises for him a few times.
From her words, I could tell it was a strong wish in her heart but somehow her husband couldn’t see through and she was getting discouraged because he wasn’t reciprocating. I know how much you want your partner to decode what’s on your mind without you having to say a word. That beautiful moment when your spouse gets you that very thing your heart so desires at that very moment without you actually demanding for itπ€©π€©π€© but I’m sorry to burst your bubble it won’t always happen that way and to avoid being hurt or disappointed, sometimes you have to learn to voice out your wishes.
The truth is your spouse may not be extra thoughtful like you are. You may be someone who takes time to carefully examine what his pressing need is before getting him a gift while he on the other hand like two days to your birthday, he will just ask his colleague in the office, what can I buy for my wife’s birthday and they will suggest some things to him and guess what? He ends up coming home with the exact type of dinner set someone gifted you for your wedding that is still wrapped up in the cupboard or a beautiful gown when deep down what you truly need is a new handbagπππ That thing dey pain! Chai
Now, what to do? You can try communicating your wishes subtly and see if he’s able to pick up the hintπ. There was a time I needed a hand bag like seriously and I didn’t want to buy, I was hoping my husband will gift me a lovely one. We usually leave home for work together most times so every morning after getting dressed, I will pick up my bag and say “me and my one and only bagπ”, some days I will say “My dearest one nation bag” and so on. I kept throwing shades at the bag and because overtime I have known him to be sensitive to little information such as that, it worked and I got a beautiful bagπππ.
Subtle hints won’t work for everyone and this brings me to another suggestion, Sometimes you just have to say it as it is jare. That’s why the idea of having a wishlist isn’t bad at all. It saves even your loved ones the stress of worrying about what to gift you and prevents money wastage like in the case of buying something that you actually don’t need. Sometimes it’s as simple as saying, for my birthday I would love to have a beautiful range rover and an all expense paid vacation to Maldivesπππ.
In all, it’s important you know how best to communicate your wishes rather than silently wishing all day that your lover should read your mind without even the slightest hint from you. It is what it is Friend. So tell me, how do you communicate your wishes? Are you the direct kind of person or you pass subtle hints like me? Or you keep wishing and praying in your heart?
P.S: What is love without gifts? Even our heavenly Father showed us His love by giving so nobody should call me vain ohπππ. Receiving of gifts is a love languageπππ
WRITTEN BY Olabisi David
WRITTEN FOR Regen Relationship-Clinic
