There is so much busyness in the world now and while we may think we are present in the lives of our partners, we may be drifting apart without realizing it. The economic situation doesn’t make this any better.
Really, it would take some intentionality to remain present in the life of one’s spouse.
This month of July, we are running an intimacy challenge for couples in the uncovered for Mr and Mrs group and one of the compulsory activities for the day is to spend 15 minutes uninterrupted with your spouse daily.
When King D proposed this activity, I felt 15 minutes was a little time and would easily pass by….how wrong I was!
Now this 15-minute intimate talking time is not to discuss the children, colleagues, family members…but you! Your joys, memories, goals, fears, etc.
You may find it shocking that many couples are out of things to discuss because of the wide gap between them over the years.
Here are some intentional steps to take to remain present in each other’s lives;
-Keep gadgets away, maintain physical contact (hands intertwined, resting head on his shoulders, head rested on her laps, looking into each other’s eyes, etc), and ask your spouse sincerely “How are you?”. As a rule of thumb, “I’m fine is not an acceptable answer to this question”, they must be willing to let it all out. I usually ask King D, ‘Are you happy?’, he initially found the question strange but now welcomes it and shares freely.
– Don’t neglect communication outside the home. It’s not good to leave the house, spend 8 to 9 hours at work, and not think to reach out to your partner. That’s too long a time. “I’m busy is not an excuse”, a 2-minute call, voice message is better than nothing. Stay connected in the midst of your busyness.
– Be a good listener. Don’t listen to be a judge, it discourages openness.
– Schedule time to carry out each other’s hobbies together. Dance together, sing together, tickle each other.
– Be intentional about sharing every important news about you with your partner first. It makes them feel extra special.
– Goodbye and Welcome kisses and hugs.
– If you are like me, send those funny memes, social media posts, and reels to your spouse and have a good laugh together.
I’ll stop here. Pls, know that these things would not come to you by default, be intentional and put in the effort until they become a part of you.
If you love to, you can join in the intimacy challenge for the remaining 12 days and watch its impact on your marriage.
Your marriage will prosper
Written by Olabisi David
Presented by Damilare Mike David
written for REGEN
