2pm Saturday,
Samuel’s family house
“Do you still love my son?” Samuel’s mum asked seriously, scanning my face with her eyes. I breathed deeply and nodded,
“Yes i still do mum” i murmured. But my reply had no effect on her nor stopped her curious eyes from running through me.
I arrived Samuel’s house quite on time that fateful day to assist the mum in preparing lunch. Something i did out of obligation and respect i had for the family.
However Samuel travelled home the previous day, expecting me to travel with him like we used to whenever i was visiting his family, but i declined his request leaving him totally surprised and scared. he feared i would embarrass him by not honouring his mum’s invitation, thus the happiness and relief on his face when i eventually showed up that fateful day.
His mum however was a bit cold and reserved as she welcomed me. I knew as a woman she really was very disappointed by my behaviour, but perhaps was forced to invite me because of her son whom she had to set aside her personal feelings to please.
“Are you really sure about that?” she asked. I breathed deeply, smiling nervously.
I really was glad she sent her son away before questioning me, something only wise mothers with good experience would do. I equally felt she wasn’t listening nor paying serious attention to my replies, but was intently examining my facial expression with each reply i gave, as if she was a mind reader.
“If you are still in love with him as you claim, why break up with him?” she queried. I shrugged, calmed my excitement before pouring out my own version of the story.
“Your story is similar to what he told me, you both made mistakes so i see no sense in your decision. My son is seriously hurting and i can’t stand it any longer. But I have ordered him never to beg you again because relationships are not built with pity but with good understanding, so tell me, how long are you willing to put him on hold and what’s your plan for the other boy?” she asked inquisitively.
“Mum whatever will be will be, i promise to work out things with your son but i need a little more time to sort myself out. I still love him” i replied, calmly avoiding saying anything about Emmanuel. She shrugged and smiled weakly.
I instantly knew she wasn’t convinced with my reply, nor did i need anyone to tell me i had failed her test. She really read through me so easily. A strange gifted woman she was.
She asked no other prying questions as i spent the rest of the afternoon with them before rushing back to my lodge amidst Samuel’s pleas. I knew the way i left without spending a single night with them like i used to, further added weight to her suspicions.
“Polluting Samuel’s mind would be her next line of action” i reasoned.
I really was unable to sleep that fateful night as i pondered over the whole affair. By 12pm the next day, i was already on my way to Emmanuel’s family house with weird feelings in my heart.
“Whatever is written can never be changed”—How foolish i was!
2pm Emmanuel’s family house.
Emmanuel, his mum and i sat at the dinning table, eating the Sunday rice before us. I was very nervous as i ate my own share of the meal, and couldn’t help praying for the lunch to end quickly.
“I’m really delighted you honoured my invitation, you can’t imagine how pleased i am” Emmanuel’s mum said to me sweetly, while I blushed and said nothing.
“We really do have a lot to talk after the meal, so relax and enjoy our hospitality” she added quietly. I nodded with a calm smile.
My heart really pounded furiously as i stepped into Emmanuel’s family house that fateful Sunday. Guilt and fear totally consuming me without warning. I would have turned and ran back that moment, if not for Emmanuels mum who came out of the house, saw me and came forward happily. The joy in her eyes as she came running totally buried my guilt and fear.
“Daughter in-law” she greeted as she hugged me.
Emmanuel hardly touched his food that afternoon as he kept staring and pleading with his eyes, but i pretended not to notice, even though i very much understood his plight.
A heavy rain however started immediately after lunch. Lightening and thunder striking like madness.
“Don’t worry dear, the rain will stop before 4pm” his mum assured me with a smile as she led me to a sofa, while Emmanuel excused himself to attend to some areas of the building which was leaking under the heavy rain, leaving his mum all alone with me.
“I know all about your story with my son. Trust me if i was in your shoes, i would have poured hot water twice on him before allowing him to explain himself. I really don’t blame all you are doing to him, but i swear by my honour, my son is really suffering over this issue” she softly said, held my hand and stared into my eyes.
“No matter how hard we try to fight or pretend, the truth is that the memory of our first love affair will always remain buried in our heart. Our first love Is the root by which other relationships stand and just like a house will never stand without a foundation, our life will be meaningless without the story of how it all started. Our first relationship really shapes and dictates the direction of our future relationships. Without it, i doubt if we will ever have the wisdom nor experience to control our heart. I do know your heart is beating furiously as i speak to you and i equally know there is doubt, confusion and uncertainty in it. This is where an elder like me comes in, i will never wish you bad nor decieve you, because any agreement we arrive at will equally affect my son either positively or negatively” she lectured. I shook nervously as i listened.
“What do you feel whenever you look at him?” she asked searchingly. I swallowed hard and shook my head.
“I don’t just know ma, i can’t describe what i do feel, because it’s a mixture of hatred, compassion, fear, anger and happiness” i confessed. She breathed deeply with a smile.
“You still love him my daughter, please don’t fight it any longer” she pleaded with wet eyes.
I knew she was very right, but i instantly remembered Samuel. A boy who showed me care and love when i needed it.
“I really can’t go back to your son because i’m already with another person” i sobbed. The good old lady closed her eyes, breathed deeply and drew me to her chest
“I really do understand dear, because my sister experienced the same thing when we were teenagers” she murmured with a broken voice. I instantly raised my face and stared at her.
“Yes my dear, i speak with experience, the best you can do for yourself is to follow your heart, allow it to be the Judge. Marriage is not something built on pity nor sympathy, but something built on solid love. Please dear let my words not look as if I’m rushing you. There is still enough time for you to think over everything. I have your phone number, so reaching you won’t be a problem, but just know that if you should accept my son, we will quickly arrange the marriage ceremony in no time” she concluded with a smile, leaving me totally lost and confused.
The heavy rain finally stopped around 6:15PM messing up the road and making it very unideal to thread on. I was stranded.
“Our road wasn’t this bad last raining season. It’s as a result of the red soil poured on it by the contractors handling the construction” Emmanuel explained as we stood outside minutes later.
I had insisted on leaving after the rain stopped, declining his mother’s pleas for me to sleep over, but looking at the road i knew i wasn’t going anywhere that fateful sunday evening.
8:45pm
His mum gave me an old lovely pink night wear which i really didn’t know where she got from. I thanked her, took my night bath and relaxed in the guest room.
I was swiftly carried away by my thoughts as soon as i laid down, that i never noticed when Emmanuel came into the room, nor when he sat on the bed.
“hey Mary” he greeted. I instantly sat up and stared at him suspiciously. His smile calm but intense.
“I will be heading straight to town as early as 5AM tomorrow because of my work, hope you can wake up by that time? So i could drop you at your lodge, before going for my own business, though it all depends on our road. let’s just pray the road gets a bit dry before dawn” he said calmly, but before i could reply, a heavy thunder went through instantly jolting us. Rain started dropping on the roof once again.
“Oops” he exclaimed, while i smiled, even though i had no reason to do so.
Before i knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. I unknowingly surrendered completely to him and he took advantage of me once again.
Minutes Later
We silently laid beside each other, totally exhaused and weak.
Finally the sense of deep peace that overtook us during our lovemaking quickly began ebbing away. The implications of what had happened hit home and slapped me intensely.
A tide of guilt and self loathing swept throuh me.
“I have betrayed Samuel” i sobbed.
What really bittered me the most was that Samuel never even went this far with me all through the while we’ve been together. He’s always wished we keep the love making aspect till our wedding night. Here i am giving it freely to someone who doesn’t even deserve me. I was so ashamed of myself.
Is this how my relationship gonna end with Samuel??
-To be continued-
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