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MY WIFE: Episode 16

Regen Relationship December 13, 2018

0 6 5 minutes read

WENG: wow! It’s great to meet you after a long time of Facebook friendship

PETRA: I know, right! Nice to meet you too!

WENG: I must say you look more beautiful in person than you look in pictures.

PETRA: really? Thank you

WENG: so why did it take you so long to agree to meet up with me. Were you scared I was going to kill and eat you?

PETRA: not really. I’m a very busy person; I barely have time to go out

WENG: okay. I’m asking because some people believe that Chinese people eat human beings. I don’t know how true that is, but my family don’t, and I don’t know anyone who does.

PETRA: so how do you find the country?

WENG: good good! Nigeria is a great country and has the potential to be one of the greatest in the world. But sad to say that your leaders are your greatest obstacle

PETRA: I agree with you.

WENG: so, here is the menu. Have a look and see if anything interests you. Otherwise you take me to your house and make us jollof rice

PETRA: heheheh (starts perusing the menu) so what brought you to the country?

WENG: erm, I got a contract to renovate one of the biggest companies here in Abuja

PETRA: wow! Which company is that?

WENG: SEA-TRUE and sons limited. It is a shipping company and one of the biggest in town.

PETRA: oh wow! So how did you get the contract?

WENG: a friend of mine called Ebuka gave me the contract. I met him five years ago when he came to do a programme in China.

PETRA: Sorry, I need to quickly text my niece to remind her to go for her dancing class. Is that okay?

WENG: yes sure!

PETRA: (brought out her phone and pretended to be texting her nephew, but put the phone on recording instead)
sorry. I’m done now . Your friend must be very kind! You said his name is Ebuka. Is he one of the directors of SEA-TRUE?

WENG: yes he is. Not like he did it for free. You Nigerians can never do anything with or for anybody if it doesn’t benefit you in any way.

PETRA: are you saying, he is getting paid for giving you the contract?

WENG: fifteen million out of the money is his!

PETRA: wonderful! He is going to be fifteen million naira wealthier!

WENG: yes, he is planning on taking a new wife and he’ll be needing the money

PETRA: interesting!….

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EBUKA:✊✊ Nkechinyere! Open the door, I’d like to talk to you.

NKECHI: the door is not locked. Open it and come in.

EBUKA: good morning ladies. Nkechi, I want to have a word with you.

NKECHI: Good morning , dede. Sit down

AMARACHI: good morning, Ebuka. I’ll excuse you guys

EBUKA: no no! Sit back. I consider you a part of us now

AMARACHI: thank you.

EBUKA: I have finally made up my mind to divorce Funmi. But because we’ve not been married for long enough to get a divorce, i can’t do so now.
But I can’t have her here either. Every time I set my eyes on her, I want to strangle her!

NKECHI:(sits up) hian!? please don’t. She is not worth it. I will personally help you throw her out of the house like right now!

AMARACHI: May I ask exactly what she did?

NKECHI: meaning? He just told you he cannot stand her!

EBUKA: Funmi was cheating on me with her manager! Sleeping with him even in the office!

NKECHI: chineke meeeeee??????‍♀️?‍♀️?‍♀️ heeeee! Jesus Christ! I can’t believe this humble lion can ever do a thing like that!
And when she comes back here, she prays and speaks in tongues more than apostle Paul!

Dede, you knew of this and you still kept her here?? Oh my God! Do you want her to infect you with STIs???

EBUKA: I’ve been tested and luckily, I don’t have any STIs and I and Funmi stopped being intimate since I learnt of it.

AMARACHI: mind if I ask how you knew about the cheating?

EBUKA: her friend Calista told me. She even sent me a recorded message where she admitted it. I’ll forward it to both of you after now. So I have my evidence. I have asked her severally and all that little lying cheat would say is “I didn’t cheat”

NKECHI: it’s in their blood! Yoruba women can never be faithful! Dede, that was why every single one of us was against this marriage.

But you thought we just didn’t like her for no reason! Tribal marriage was not God’s original purpose for mankind! I don’t understand why a person would go into a different land to take a wife!

She can betray you in front of you because you don’t understand her damn language! That alone is enough to stop people from this stupid practice of marrying outside your own tribe !

AMARACHI: sorry I’m asking a lot of questions. Can I ask this final one please?

NKECHI:????

EBUKA: feel free.

AMARACHI: when did this cheating happen. Now or before you got married?

EBUKA: right now, that doesn’t even matter to me. I can’t get over the fact that another man has touched her. I am totally switched off as far as Funmi is concerned.
I’m going upstairs now to tell her she must leave the house latest tomorrow.
I’ll leave you now, ladies. ?‍♂️?‍♂️?‍♂️

NKECHI:??????? hi five✋ e don happen! I told you!
Girl, start planning your wedding! My brother is big so withhold nothing!
Go all the way out!!!

I can’t wait to tell brother Chinwendu! ???? I’m so drinking tonight!!

AMARACHI: wow! You have so much influence on your brothers. My brother never let’s me say anything about his wife. He protects her like what!

NKECHI: she probably did some juju on your brother. My dear go on your knees! Prayer works!
Prayer plus action will always yeild results.
I pray and I act! Thank you Jesus!

AMARACHI: I hope your boyfriend doesn’t have a sister like you.

NKECHI: nah! He is an only child

AMARACHI: fantastic! Because I know you wouldn’t wish yourself a sister in law like you.

NKECHI: how do you mean??

AMARACHI: just kidding. I can’t wait to meet your mum and brother Chinwendu. Wedding plans in a bit baby!????

(Ebuka went to their bedroom and found Funmi in bed still asleep)

EBUKA: (gentle taps her on the shoulder) Funmi! Funmi!

FUNMI (incoherently)I don’t know how my husband got to know about it.

EBUKA: that shouldn’t bother you okay? It doesn’t matter anymore. Wake up, I want to have a word with you!

FUNMI (cleans her eyes to enable her see clearly) oh! Good morning, darling

EBUKA: I’m sure you were with your boss in your dreams because you were just telling him you don’t know how I got to know about your adultery with him.
So are you not going to work today?

FUNMI: no, I called off work because I don’t feel very well.

EBUKA: you probably are pregnant for him or you had a rough one over the weekend. It must be one of the two.

FUNMI: Ebuka enough of the insults! I really have had enough. You woke me up this morning to insult me! Seriously, it’s enough!

EBUKA: exactly, why I am here. It is indeed enough! I need you to leave my house latest tomorrow evening. Failure to do so, I’ll take it upon myself to ensure you regret your entire life.

The simple instruction is, leave my house by or before tomorrow evening. If you need that in writing, I am quite happy to do so. If you need it in your native language, tell your father to do that for you!

Good morning!

To be continued