My Wife: Episode 14
FUNMI: ?????) hello?
ADAKU: hi, how are you!
FUNMI: Iβm worried. Iβve been ringing my mum since morning and she is not taking her calls. Please have you see any of them today and did my dad come home for the weekend?
ADAKU: donβt worry, everything is fine. Your mum was a bit unwell this morning, but she is stable now
FUNMI: oh my Lord! Was it this dream I had! What happened to her? Where is she? Please give her the phone I want to speak with her??
ADAKU: calm down my dear. Your mum is fine. we are both at the hospital now and I can assure you that it is no longer life threatening and she is getting the best care possible in my brotherβs hospital
FUNMI: Jesus! Iβm coming to Lagos straight away!
ADAKU: thereβs no need for the rush. If you wanna see her, take your time and maybe come tomorrow. There is really no need for you to come now. I am here and I will make sure she is alright, to the best of my ability
FUNMI: (starts crying??) please can I talk to her?
ADAKU: oh yes you can! But donβt just make it lengthy as she has been advised to get enough rest, okay?
Right Iβll pass the phone to her.
Madam Bola, Funmi is on the phone for you
MADAM BOLA: (starts crying???)
FUNMI: mummy, why are you crying!! Are you in pain?
MADAM BOLA: I am in emotional pain. Funmi, the way I have treated this lady. I am so ashamed of myself.
I canβt face her.
Never in my life would I believe that an Igbo person could be so nice! 3 times I was rejected by hospitals owned by yorubas.
And here in a hospital owned by an Igbo person, I am being giving VIP treatmentβ¦.
ADAKU (takes the phone from her) this is not the time for all these, ma. We must stick to the doctorβs advice. Hello, Funmi, please just let her rest now, okay?
FUNMI: Adaku, so my mum has been wicked to you and you never mentioned it to me????
ADAKU: of what use would it be? If I had told you, you would have gone to tell her off, she would get angry and both of you will fall out, creating more and more hatred in the world.
The world already has enough people hating and not talking to each other. We donβt need anymore of that.
FUNMI: I canβt believe this! How can you be this kind to a woman who has treated you so badly! And she is not even from your tribe!
ADAKU: that is because, we are from the same human race. Before being Igbo, I am human first and that is one thing we have in common.
FUNMI: I just canβt reconcile you with this sister in law of mine! Two totally different people from the same tribe! How can I!?ββοΈ
ADAKU: because whatever a person is, has nothing to do with their tribe, race or gender. It has everything to do with who they are and how they have decided to treat other people.
FUNMI: I wish the whole world know this! Thank you so much! Iβll speak to my husband now and hopefully, Iβll be in Lagos tomorrow.
(Funmi dropped the call and went to the sitting room where her husband was filling out some forms)
FUNMI: Ebuka, my mum is hospitalised and I need some money to go see her tomorrow ?
EBUKA: Iβm sure you know who to ask (concentrating on the forms he was filling)
FUNMI: Ebuka, I am not going to use the money on myself, it is for my mum!βΉ
EBUKA: interesting! How sure am I that you are not going to Ghana to continue your escapades with your manager?
FUNMI: stop it Ebuka! Stop accβ¦
EBUKA: (at the top of his voice) stop what!!! You effing cheating bastard! Are you not even ashamed of yourself?
Look at you! Just look at the state of you! You disgust me!
You know what? I will not give you the honour of making me angry! (Grabs his car keys and left)
FUNMI: (starts crying)
NKECHI: (taps her on the shoulder) madam! Madam! Please go upstairs yeah? Itβs a very hot Saturday afternoon. You are disturbing the peace! Biko!
(Funmi went upstairs and continued crying and Nkechi went to meet her boyfriend who was waiting to pick her up at the gate. Amara then went upstairs to funmi)
AMARACHI: whatβs the matter? Why are you crying?
FUNMI: Iβve just discovered that my mum is very Ill in the hospital, and Ebuka wouldnβt give me any money to go and see her?
I am not asking him for millions I just want ten thousand naira to supplement the one i have on me?
AMARACHI: itβs okay. Stop crying, Iβll transfer some money into your account
FUNMI: but you are only a student, how are going to raise the money?
AMARACHI: I know you feel I am wretched, but I am actually from a wealthy home. So Iβll transfer fifty thousand naira to your account now. Okay? So get ready and get going.
Send my love to your mum and if you need anything, you have my number. Just text me okay?
FUNMI: I just donβt know what I would have done without you! (Hugs her)
AMARACHI: please donβt make me cry! Get ready okay?
(Funmi got ready and left for the airport and Amara started calling a real estate agent)
AMARACHI (????) helloβ¦..
Sorry, the line went off earlier. So what I need is a 2 bedroom apartment close to Wuse2. I need it well finished and I want it for at least 6 months.
AGENT: madam, itβs very hard to find a landlord that will be willing to agree to that. The minimum you can pay is one year
AMARACHI: okay! how much would that cost?
AGENT: 1.2 million
AMARACHI: listen, I donβt want any endless negotiation. Iβll pay 1 million and please this is urgent!
AGENT: just because I really want to work for you. You need to pay twenty percent deposit before we start.
AMARACHI: send me your account, Iβll transfer it immediately. Iβll be waiting .thanks. bye!
(When she dropped the call, Ebuka started ringing her)
AMARACHI (????) hey, babe!
EBUKA: who were you on the phone with?
AMARACHI: my mum. She was asking when Iβm coming back
EBUKA: my in law! Tell her we will be coming together to see her.
Is that cheat out of the house yet?
AMARACHI: yes, she left about an hour ago
EBUKA: bingo! Get ready, Iβm coming to pick you up. Letβs do some weekend shopping and dinner afterwards!
(Amara looked her best as she walked hand in hand with Ebuka in the mall. People kept admiring her as she picked everything she needed and they finally made their way to one of the most expensive Chinese restaurant in town)
EBUKA: so what would you like to have, your royal hotness?
AMARACHI: (perusing the menu) erm, noodles, chicken balls, shrimp fried rice with a bit of sweet and sour sauce and some ribs.
EBUKA: and what drink would you like?
AMARACHI: Moet
(Ebuka placed the their order and when it arrived, the lovebirds spoke about their future plans as a couple)
EBUKA: so what kind of wedding would you like?
AMARACHI: elaborate! Like so elaborate!
EBUKA: ticked! Where would you like to have your honeymoon?
AMARACHI: Singapore
EBUKA: ticked. First car?
AMARACHI: BMW
EBUKA: ticked, with a question mark
AMARACHI: why?
EBUKA: only if you give me a daughter as my first child
AMARACHI: ?????
To be continued




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