I sat down on my bed and cried for all I had lost and in no time I was asleep.
The music caption introducing one of my favourite soap opera on Zee World was what woke me up from my sleep. It was a highly romantic movie.
The angle the movie was going made me remember how I used to think that true love didn’t exist. This was because in this particular Indian-English movie, love was just too cheap to get; but why not in my own case. If it can’t happen to me, then it can’t probably happen to anyone.
I soon realized I was wrong, right on my seat when I started recollecting the events of 3 years past, when my younger sister got married and 1095 days down the line, my own ideal man was yet to find me.
My sister and her fiancé (as at then) loved each other so much that despite their childlessness (even up till now), no one noticed. Their union was so admirable that they treated each other with deep respect and their union was so romantic that they could practically kissed anywhere, anytime.
At first, I thought they were just lost in the euphoria of their fresh love fantasies, all I did say in my mind was “it’s just a matter of time, you would soon be bored of all this rubbish”, but as time went on, they grew in it.
2 years later, I started noticing an element of Jealousy towards her and in no time, my jealousy had developed into worry at the dot of year 3. “Oh God, how I wish my man could hug me in front of everyone this way”, this was my song of jealousy every day, in a disguise of admiration and affection.
You can’t blame me also, how would my younger sister be 3 years ahead me in marriage. What I envied about her now becomes what I wished for me.
So When King came along, I didn’t give it much thought and test, he was all I needed in a man with his physique, besides he was financially OK to match my current status at that time (which I later found out to be lies just on my wedding day).
(I didn’t tell you, I love muscular, tall, and rich guys………Most men I met 4 years ago and below didn’t completely fit in. Some had 2 out of 3, 1 out of 3, but Kingsley had all, deceitfully to say)
Sinking deep and deeper into my million thoughts in milli-seconds. I was strongly held bound in my misery as I didn’t know what to do. I had such a very compelling urge to cry again, yet another stronger urge to hold back.
The truth is, I could explain the reason for this mixed feeling; I already knew I was losing KINGSLEY, but I can’t still deny the fact that I’m now having a soft spot for my husband in a way I cannot explain. “A living dog is better than a dead lion at least”, seeming too late I guess.
Before I knew it, the great force was overcoming the greater force. While I still contemplated, I could see drops of tears down my face. It was not a deliberate decision to cry, but I couldn’t control my river bank anymore.
