Let’s talk about Cynthia! Her husband couldn’t figure out what was going on with her. She would suddenly go mute and not talk to anyone including her children. This happened more often than not. He would try to ask her if anything was wrong, but she just wanted to be left alone! Her children will ask severally if she was mad at them and she will say just one sentence “I’m okay” with a stern face!
Soon, they started learning how to cope with her silence. The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when their eldest daughter started doing something similar! She would be upset but refuse to talk to anyone about it.
At this point, Cynthia’s husband had to seek the help of a Counsellor. She was hard to break through, but after a few sessions, one day she broke down in tears. She didn’t know how to navigate this path!
Cynthia grew up knowing that the silent treatment gets you what you want! She saw her mum use this tool all the time! They never talked about issues or communicated grievances, she and her siblings grew up knowing that silent treatment, one-word answers or shutting down communication completely (malice keeping) were the ways to know she was upset with them. She probably didn’t know any better too.
The Counsellor made her understand that was emotional abuse! Torturing loved ones with silence, making them second-guess their actions wasn’t a tool of communication, it was abuse! And unintentionally, she had started abusing her spouse and children as well. The Counsellor helped her learn to communicate better, share her feelings with words and not silence. Everyone was happier and more importantly, Cynthia was free!
A wise woman once shared this statement of Bishop Oyedepo with me; “You don’t watch what you don’t want!” Not only family curses or blessings can be transgenerational, even character can (both good and bad)! Actively work against inheriting bad traits from your lineage and environment!
May we know better and may we do better! Amen
Big thanks to everyone for all your kind wishes and prayers yesterday! God bless and elevate you ! Amen
Written by Olabisi David
Presented by Damilare Mike David
written for REGEN
