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MY WIFE: Episode 22

MR OSAI: morning, Funmi. How are you?

FUNMI: I’m alright. Good morning
MR OSAI: how have you been managing?
FUNMI: God has been gracious. I have been receiving help from lots of people.
MR OSAI: great to hear. Do you need anything?
FUNMI: not at the moment. No.
MR OSAI: It’s Saturday today, So I’m only here until 10am. Our daughter has got really nasty cataarh; I told my wife to get her ready so I could quickly come to the office and do a few things before I take them to the hospital, so they must be waiting.
Erm, I just wanted to find out if you are willing to take on the role of my personal deputy?
FUNMI: wow! Why not!
MR OSAI: well, I did put up vacancy for two more roles on our website. If you become my deputy, it means your position will be empty and we need one one more person in our IT department. So you are happy to do it?
FUNMI: yes!
MR OSAI: great! So it comes with a pay rise, and a few other benefits like entitlement to an all expense paid holiday, health insurance which covers you and one other family member and a car.
FUNMI: wow! Are there things I’d need to do?
MR OSAI: erm, we will train you for a week and that’s all fully paid. Nothing difficult at all. Just to familiarise you with your new role.
FUNMI: okay. Thank you. Did you get the email I sent you?
MR OSAI: Oh yea! The CV, right? Is that someone you know?
FUNMI: yes. It’s actually the lady I told you about who got me a house and all.
MR OSAI: oh! The Amarachi of a girl! Alright, ask her when she is available to start…
FUNMI: oh! My God! Thank you!!
MR OSAI: you’re welcome, Funmi. Anyway, look after the office. I’m leaving now
FUNMI: please send my love to your daughter and wife. I hope she feels better soon.
MR OSAI: I will. Thanks. Bye
(Mr Osai left and after sometime, a call came through to Funmi’s desk from the receptionist)
FUNMI: ☎️hello, Funmi here. How can I help?
RECEPTIONIST: someone is here to see you
FUNMI: what’s the name?
RECEPTIONIST: Zain.
FUNMI: hmmm! Let him in, please. Thanks
*************’******************************************************************************************************************
(WHO IS Zain?, HE FIRST APPEARED IN THE LAST EPISODE. A LITTLE INFO ABOUT ZAIN)
Just before Ebuka and Amara travelled in Episode-20, the following events happened
(Zain knocked on the door and Funmi opened the door for him)
ZAIN: surprise! Surprise!!
FUNMI: you didn’t tell me you were coming!
ZAIN: I know you threw your card on me just to dismiss me. Well, most guys would find the way you dismissed me quite abrupt, but I find it very attractive actually
FUNMI: please take a seat.
ZAIN: (sits down) thank you.
FUNMI: would you like anything?
ZAIN: yes. You.
FUNMI: Oh please!
ZAIN: I meant everything I said to you at the mall. You see, I’m not asking you to date me straight away, just give me a chance to know you.
That’s all I’m asking for.
FUNMI: I’m married…
ZAIN: well, you don’t look it (stares at her finger ring and gave a facial expression that suggests “so why are your fingers empty?)
FUNMI: why are you staring at my fingers like that?
ZAIN: well, I like how neat and short they are. I dislike articial nails on ladies..also, I thought married people wear wedding bands in this part of the world. I might be wrong…
FUNMI: I.. I..
ZAIN: It’s alright! You don’t have to lie to me. You are not married. Maybe you were married. Whatever the case, I just want to get to know you.
I know I don’t look it with the whole beards and all, but I am actually harmless.
FUNMI: do you mind if I ask where you are from?
ZAIN: I’m from Delta state.
FUNMI: hmmm! Interesting. Do you live there?
ZAIN: erm, actually, I and my siblings were all born and raised in the United States. This is my second time of coming to Nigeria since I was born. But I’m trying to put up something here that will always draw me back home. You don’t wanna go too far away from your roots
FUNMI: so you can’t even speak your language
ZAIN: shush! Keep your voice down! You don’t need to let the world know!
FUNMI: hahahaha! I need a microphone in this office so I could loud it.
ZAIN: thank goodness you have none. Naughty girl!
FUNMI: I’m not a girl! Respect my age!
ZAIN: sorry, grandma. Can we go out for lunch?
FUNMI: I don’t think that will be possible. I’ve got a few things to do here
ZAIN: I’ll hang around and come back whenever you want me to.
Why are you working on a Saturday, anyway!
FUNMI: I don’t wanna be bored at home.
ZAIN: happily married people look forward to the weekend…
FUNMI: ???
ZAIN: I don’t mean to open any healing wounds. I’m sorry if I did. But when I saw you in that mall, I saw loneliness, I saw betrayals, I saw love and lost.
Your beautiful garments couldn’t hide them. They pierced through it. All I wanted to do is offer you some comforting hugs.
I saw a girl who’s been betrayed by the ones she holds dearly to her heart
FUNMI: (wipes her tears with her hands)
ZAIN: (throws his handkerchief on her) use this. Don’t be ashamed to cry as much as you wish. But never go back to what made you cry. This is my grandma’s everyday advice to us. Just thought you might find it helpful.
FUNMI: thank you. If you don’t mind I would love to carry on working now, please.
ZAIN: sure! And the lunch?
FUNMI: maybe some other time.
ZAIN: that’s alright. If you need to talk, I am only a phone call away.
FUNMI: thanks.
ZAIN:?‍♂️?‍♂️
**************************************************
EBUKA: darling.. hurry up, I’ve got to book our ticket before the ticketing office closes! It’s Saturday today and they close quite early!
AMARACHI: won’t be a minute! Just putting some lipstick on.
NKECHI: I wish I was going with you guys to meet your brother. So where are you guys meeting him?
EBUKA: we will pick him up from the airport and maybe go to a restaurant to eat.
( Amara and Ebuka left for the airport where they where they would pick up Amara’s so called brother.
This got me thinking about the popular saying “every man is a fool for the woman he loves”
How could a handsome and well read young man like Ebuka be so fooled!
Well, they got to the airport and after a short while, Chika met them)
EBUKA: ?I am Ebuka. Nice to meet you.
CHIKA: nice to meet you, bros. I am Chikamnele (turns to Amara and hugs her) look at this little girl of yesterday talking marriage!
AMARACHI: (pretending to be shy) I’m a woman!
CHIKA: woman in deed!
EBUKA: they grow up so fast, isn’t it? When I look at Nkechi my sister, I just can’t believe how that much growth happened within such a short time.
CHIKA: the thing tire person, bros.
EBUKA: so why didn’t you want to come to our house?
CHIKA: I’m sorry bros, but my girlfriend is on my neck, very soon she will start calling. E be like say she go die if she no see me in the next 30 minutes.
EBUKA: awww! Na their way.
CHIKA: this one own no get comparison. Well, I don’t blame her. We haven’t seen each other for two years now.
EBUKA: I no understand how una dey fit do this kind relationship o! I no fit. Bros enter car
AMARACHI: I will follow you to your girlfriend’s house o! If I don’t like her, you are dumping her straight away!
CHIKA: and if I no like your man?
EBUKA: hahaha! You and your sister! You guys are so cute!
CHIKA: she is a pain in my buttocks but I love her to bits! My God! I love this child!
AMARACHI: I love you too, bro!
(Ebuka, drove them to a restaurant, they ordered food and drinks, and as they ate, more conversations took place)
EBUKA: I’m sure your sister must have told you about me and our intentions to starts a life together
CHIKA: Yea Yea! She has and I told her not to get so excited yet until I meet the guy.
EBUKA: so here is the guy! Hahaha I’m sure she must have told you a few things about me.
I made a wrong choice of marriage initially, but as God would have it, I did break out early enough. So no baby mama anywhere
CHIKA: great! Because that worried me a little my sister’s safety and happiness is paramount. She is our only girl and we would give our right kidneys to ensure she is happy. Whatever happiness means to her.
EBUKA: I have an only sister too, and she technically, hold my mumu button. Thank God she happens to be Amara’s friend.
CHIKA: these only demons abi sisters can be so annoying man!
AMARACHI: brother Chika! Trouble maker!
ROSSY: brother Chika fire!??‍♀️
EBUKA: so do I have your support?
CHIKA: I mean these few minutes are probably not enough to determine whether you are a nice person or not. But I trust her judgement. This girl is very smart by the way; She can reformat a dead brain. Beware!
EBUKA: oh! I know that!
CHIKA: yes, you have my support. You also have my support to get her pregnant after marriage. You however, do not have my support to do so before marriage
AMARACHI: ?????
CHIKA: you can close your eyes all you want. Na final warning be that!
EBUKA: hahaha! Bros your blood dey hot o! Anyway, no problem my guy! You’ll be a proud big brother in the end
CHIKA: perfect! You were going somewhere right?
EBUKA: yes, I’m going to get our tickets to France . But I’ll quickly drop you at your girlfriend’s place before going
CHIKA: no need for that at all. She just texted me now that she will come pick us up.
EBUKA: wicked! Alright then. Nice to meet you bro. We will talk more on phone
CHIKA: sure! Nice to meet you man! Cheers
(Ebuka left and Amara threw himself into Chika ‘s arms and they laughed and kissed until their lips hurt)
CHIKA: on a serious note, babe, you must be very careful with this dude. He is a player, he has the looks and definitely the right words to get any woman tripping and falling over.
You must stay on top of the game and make it as snappy as possible. I’ve seen shiiii like this ruin relationships and I don’t want that to happen to us.
I don’t want to lose you for anything in the world.
AMARACHI: you won’t, babe. I just have to do this for her. She is another woman I wouldn’t like society to trample on.
CHIKA: make it snappy. Your travelling to France with him scares the hell out of me.
AMARACHI: I am the coach in this game. I have the whistle, I decide when it ends and believe me when I say the final whistle is about to go off!
CHIKA: chop knuckles ?
AMARACHI: ?
(You may refer to episode 20 again now)
To be continued

MR OSAI: morning, Funmi. How are you?

FUNMI: I’m alright. Good morning
MR OSAI: how have you been managing?
FUNMI: God has been gracious. I have been receiving help from lots of people.
MR OSAI: great to hear. Do you need anything?
FUNMI: not at the moment. No.
MR OSAI: It’s Saturday today, So I’m only here until 10am. Our daughter has got really nasty cataarh; I told my wife to get her ready so I could quickly come to the office and do a few things before I take them to the hospital, so they must be waiting.
Erm, I just wanted to find out if you are willing to take on the role of my personal deputy?
FUNMI: wow! Why not!
MR OSAI: well, I did put up vacancy for two more roles on our website. If you become my deputy, it means your position will be empty and we need one one more person in our IT department. So you are happy to do it?
FUNMI: yes!
MR OSAI: great! So it comes with a pay rise, and a few other benefits like entitlement to an all expense paid holiday, health insurance which covers you and one other family member and a car.
FUNMI: wow! Are there things I’d need to do?
MR OSAI: erm, we will train you for a week and that’s all fully paid. Nothing difficult at all. Just to familiarise you with your new role.
FUNMI: okay. Thank you. Did you get the email I sent you?
MR OSAI: Oh yea! The CV, right? Is that someone you know?
FUNMI: yes. It’s actually the lady I told you about who got me a house and all.
MR OSAI: oh! The Amarachi of a girl! Alright, ask her when she is available to start…
FUNMI: oh! My God! Thank you!!
MR OSAI: you’re welcome, Funmi. Anyway, look after the office. I’m leaving now
FUNMI: please send my love to your daughter and wife. I hope she feels better soon.
MR OSAI: I will. Thanks. Bye
(Mr Osai left and after sometime, a call came through to Funmi’s desk from the receptionist)
FUNMI: ☎️hello, Funmi here. How can I help?
RECEPTIONIST: someone is here to see you
FUNMI: what’s the name?
RECEPTIONIST: Zain.
FUNMI: hmmm! Let him in, please. Thanks
*************’******************************************************************************************************************
(WHO IS Zain?, HE FIRST APPEARED IN THE LAST EPISODE. A LITTLE INFO ABOUT ZAIN)
Just before Ebuka and Amara travelled in Episode-20, the following events happened
(Zain knocked on the door and Funmi opened the door for him)
ZAIN: surprise! Surprise!!
FUNMI: you didn’t tell me you were coming!
ZAIN: I know you threw your card on me just to dismiss me. Well, most guys would find the way you dismissed me quite abrupt, but I find it very attractive actually
FUNMI: please take a seat.
ZAIN: (sits down) thank you.
FUNMI: would you like anything?
ZAIN: yes. You.
FUNMI: Oh please!
ZAIN: I meant everything I said to you at the mall. You see, I’m not asking you to date me straight away, just give me a chance to know you.
That’s all I’m asking for.
FUNMI: I’m married…
ZAIN: well, you don’t look it (stares at her finger ring and gave a facial expression that suggests “so why are your fingers empty?)
FUNMI: why are you staring at my fingers like that?
ZAIN: well, I like how neat and short they are. I dislike articial nails on ladies..also, I thought married people wear wedding bands in this part of the world. I might be wrong…
FUNMI: I.. I..
ZAIN: It’s alright! You don’t have to lie to me. You are not married. Maybe you were married. Whatever the case, I just want to get to know you.
I know I don’t look it with the whole beards and all, but I am actually harmless.
FUNMI: do you mind if I ask where you are from?
ZAIN: I’m from Delta state.
FUNMI: hmmm! Interesting. Do you live there?
ZAIN: erm, actually, I and my siblings were all born and raised in the United States. This is my second time of coming to Nigeria since I was born. But I’m trying to put up something here that will always draw me back home. You don’t wanna go too far away from your roots
FUNMI: so you can’t even speak your language
ZAIN: shush! Keep your voice down! You don’t need to let the world know!
FUNMI: hahahaha! I need a microphone in this office so I could loud it.
ZAIN: thank goodness you have none. Naughty girl!
FUNMI: I’m not a girl! Respect my age!
ZAIN: sorry, grandma. Can we go out for lunch?
FUNMI: I don’t think that will be possible. I’ve got a few things to do here
ZAIN: I’ll hang around and come back whenever you want me to.
Why are you working on a Saturday, anyway!
FUNMI: I don’t wanna be bored at home.
ZAIN: happily married people look forward to the weekend…
FUNMI: ???
ZAIN: I don’t mean to open any healing wounds. I’m sorry if I did. But when I saw you in that mall, I saw loneliness, I saw betrayals, I saw love and lost.
Your beautiful garments couldn’t hide them. They pierced through it. All I wanted to do is offer you some comforting hugs.
I saw a girl who’s been betrayed by the ones she holds dearly to her heart
FUNMI: (wipes her tears with her hands)
ZAIN: (throws his handkerchief on her) use this. Don’t be ashamed to cry as much as you wish. But never go back to what made you cry. This is my grandma’s everyday advice to us. Just thought you might find it helpful.
FUNMI: thank you. If you don’t mind I would love to carry on working now, please.
ZAIN: sure! And the lunch?
FUNMI: maybe some other time.
ZAIN: that’s alright. If you need to talk, I am only a phone call away.
FUNMI: thanks.
ZAIN:?‍♂️?‍♂️
**************************************************
EBUKA: darling.. hurry up, I’ve got to book our ticket before the ticketing office closes! It’s Saturday today and they close quite early!
AMARACHI: won’t be a minute! Just putting some lipstick on.
NKECHI: I wish I was going with you guys to meet your brother. So where are you guys meeting him?
EBUKA: we will pick him up from the airport and maybe go to a restaurant to eat.
( Amara and Ebuka left for the airport where they where they would pick up Amara’s so called brother.
This got me thinking about the popular saying “every man is a fool for the woman he loves”
How could a handsome and well read young man like Ebuka be so fooled!
Well, they got to the airport and after a short while, Chika met them)
EBUKA: ?I am Ebuka. Nice to meet you.
CHIKA: nice to meet you, bros. I am Chikamnele (turns to Amara and hugs her) look at this little girl of yesterday talking marriage!
AMARACHI: (pretending to be shy) I’m a woman!
CHIKA: woman in deed!
EBUKA: they grow up so fast, isn’t it? When I look at Nkechi my sister, I just can’t believe how that much growth happened within such a short time.
CHIKA: the thing tire person, bros.
EBUKA: so why didn’t you want to come to our house?
CHIKA: I’m sorry bros, but my girlfriend is on my neck, very soon she will start calling. E be like say she go die if she no see me in the next 30 minutes.
EBUKA: awww! Na their way.
CHIKA: this one own no get comparison. Well, I don’t blame her. We haven’t seen each other for two years now.
EBUKA: I no understand how una dey fit do this kind relationship o! I no fit. Bros enter car
AMARACHI: I will follow you to your girlfriend’s house o! If I don’t like her, you are dumping her straight away!
CHIKA: and if I no like your man?
EBUKA: hahaha! You and your sister! You guys are so cute!
CHIKA: she is a pain in my buttocks but I love her to bits! My God! I love this child!
AMARACHI: I love you too, bro!
(Ebuka, drove them to a restaurant, they ordered food and drinks, and as they ate, more conversations took place)
EBUKA: I’m sure your sister must have told you about me and our intentions to starts a life together
CHIKA: Yea Yea! She has and I told her not to get so excited yet until I meet the guy.
EBUKA: so here is the guy! Hahaha I’m sure she must have told you a few things about me.
I made a wrong choice of marriage initially, but as God would have it, I did break out early enough. So no baby mama anywhere
CHIKA: great! Because that worried me a little my sister’s safety and happiness is paramount. She is our only girl and we would give our right kidneys to ensure she is happy. Whatever happiness means to her.
EBUKA: I have an only sister too, and she technically, hold my mumu button. Thank God she happens to be Amara’s friend.
CHIKA: these only demons abi sisters can be so annoying man!
AMARACHI: brother Chika! Trouble maker!
ROSSY: brother Chika fire!??‍♀️
EBUKA: so do I have your support?
CHIKA: I mean these few minutes are probably not enough to determine whether you are a nice person or not. But I trust her judgement. This girl is very smart by the way; She can reformat a dead brain. Beware!
EBUKA: oh! I know that!
CHIKA: yes, you have my support. You also have my support to get her pregnant after marriage. You however, do not have my support to do so before marriage
AMARACHI: ?????
CHIKA: you can close your eyes all you want. Na final warning be that!
EBUKA: hahaha! Bros your blood dey hot o! Anyway, no problem my guy! You’ll be a proud big brother in the end
CHIKA: perfect! You were going somewhere right?
EBUKA: yes, I’m going to get our tickets to France . But I’ll quickly drop you at your girlfriend’s place before going
CHIKA: no need for that at all. She just texted me now that she will come pick us up.
EBUKA: wicked! Alright then. Nice to meet you bro. We will talk more on phone
CHIKA: sure! Nice to meet you man! Cheers
(Ebuka left and Amara threw himself into Chika ‘s arms and they laughed and kissed until their lips hurt)
CHIKA: on a serious note, babe, you must be very careful with this dude. He is a player, he has the looks and definitely the right words to get any woman tripping and falling over.
You must stay on top of the game and make it as snappy as possible. I’ve seen shiiii like this ruin relationships and I don’t want that to happen to us.
I don’t want to lose you for anything in the world.
AMARACHI: you won’t, babe. I just have to do this for her. She is another woman I wouldn’t like society to trample on.
CHIKA: make it snappy. Your travelling to France with him scares the hell out of me.
AMARACHI: I am the coach in this game. I have the whistle, I decide when it ends and believe me when I say the final whistle is about to go off!
CHIKA: chop knuckles ?
AMARACHI: ?
(You may refer to episode 20 again now)
To be continued

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