MY WIFE: episode 4

EBUKA: babe, I’ll come back a little late tomorrow. There’s a contract I want our company to enter into. I’m not very sure about what the law is on that; so I’ll go see my solicitor about it after work tomorrow

FUNMI: what contract is that?

EBUKA: I want the company to purchase…sorry, my brother is calling. Hold on (picks up his phone???) hello dede, good evening

CHINWENDU: Ebuka o gini n’eme gi n’isi! (What’s wrong with your head!)

EBUKA: I don’t understand. What do you mean?

CHINWENDU: have you forgotten so soon? If you have, then let me remind you! Nkechinyere is your responsibility! You willingly chose to look after her until she becomes independent! Let me also remind you that you were given Papa’s Abuja property on the condition that you provide Nkechi with whatever she needs!

EBUKA: have I defaulted on that?

CHINWENDU: Why have you refused to fund her holiday???

EBUKA: dede, must Nkechi go on a holiday every year?

CHINWENDU: her choice! Travelling is part of education. I love the fact that she likes travelling. Why are you kicking against it!! When you were in university, did you lack anything? I’m asking you, Ebuka, did you! You opened your silly mouth to tell her that her suffering is yet to begin!

Have you forgotten she is dad’s favourite? That pattern must continue! Nkechi will remain the family’s favourite and must be treated thus!

EBUKA: Nkechi lies! I never said that. I just told her that I am unable to fund her holiday because I’m presently low on funds!

CHINWENDU: because you have invested the money in sending your Yoruba wife back to uni! I am not interested in what you do in your multi-tribal home, as long as you don’t spend my father’s money in it!

His final wish was that Nkechi is properly looked after. I will not sit back and watch you disregard that wish.

Remember, the legal documents to that property has clauses specifying the conditions attached to your ownership of them. Don’t bring out the beast in me, dude. Don’t! Wear your big boy pants and behave!

EBUKA: my only crime is that I married outside our tribe against your wishes right? Hehehe! Anyway! I’ll give her the money over the weekend

CHINWENDU: good night

EBUKA: Funmi is saying hi to you.

CHINWENDU: give her my regards. Good night

????????????????

FUNMI: is everything okay?

EBUKA: yeah yeah… he is just doing Nkechi’s bidding as ever.

FUNMI: darling, please if you have the money, give it to her. Let peace reign; family feud is something I dread.

EBUKA: don’t let that bother you. I’ll give her the money over the weekend. Funmi?

FUNMI: yes

EBUKA: thank you for your understanding and the level of maturity you display daily here. I don’t know many women who would endure the things you endure daily from Nkechi. My family will soon warm up to you, Alright? Oh come on! Don’t cry.

I married you, right?

FUNMI: ? yes

EBUKA: I’ll protect you at all cost. Obviously, I would like to have a good relationship with my family but where that threatens my relationship with you, i would have to cut ties with my family.

FUNMI: that would be my worst nightmare

(Knock knock! Knock knock!

EBUKA: who is it!

NKECHI: me! Can I come in?

EBUKA: come in.

NKECHI: hi everybody?‍

FUNMI: hi Jessica.

NKECHI: dede, can you please take me to the high street to get call card. I need to make an important call tonight, biko

EBUKA: Nkechinyere, I am very tired! Why are you always a pest!

NKECHI: Because I am your baby sister??‍

EBUKA: phew! Sweetie, let me take her to the high street. I won’t be long. Do you need anything?

FUNMI: No, I’m fine. Drive carefully

EBUKA: I will do.

(Nkechi and her brother got into the car and as they drove down, Ebuka did not say a word to her, so she decided to break the silence)

NKECHI: ehn! Dede, something happened today!

EBUKA: what happened?

NKECHI: I don’t mean to be rude o! But do you think your wife can pass this MSC she started?

EBUKA: meaning?

NKECHI: I saw her reading a novel this afternoon, so i asked her where she got it. Guess what she told me?

EBUKA: I’m listening..

NKECHI: she told me she got it from Hamazon. Do you know, it took me a while to actually realise she meant Amazon?????. Oh my God, I couldn’t stop laughing!

EBUKA: you can never be as intelligent as Funmi. You don’t judge people’s intelligence by their accent and pronunciations. The earlier you change this dumb and uncivilised attitude of yours, the better for you!

(They got home and Nkechi went to her room and started ringing her friend, Amarachi)

AMARACHI:(???) finally someone remembered to ring me!

NKECHI: I didn’t forget you o!

AMARACHI: so what’s up? any news

NKECHI: nothing serious yet, but I’m very positive

AMARACHI: are you sure this will work? I’m asking so that I know exactly what to do

NKECHI: I gave you my word. He is my brother and everyone in the family listens to me.

AMARACHI: but does your mum like the girl?

NKECHI: ermmm, not really but she doesn’t really bother about her. They don’t talk anyway because she can’t speak Igbo and my mum don’t speak English.

I don’t just understand how you would marry someone that cannot have a conversation with your mother. It’s just insane. But trust me, we can do this.

I have a plan but I’ll tell you tomorrow..